But as I've been reading these old Conference talks, I've been surprised to learn that Sister Dew was teaching a doctrine that had been emphasized many times before. In this Relief Society Session, I don't think there was one talk that didn't reiterate that the calling of motherhood belongs to ALL women, no matter their age or circumstance. For example, here is Sister Shirley Thomas in her talk, "An Opportunity for Continual Learning":
We are all daughters of Eve. I think of one sister who fills a very responsible position in Relief Society. Although, being single, she has no children, she has important work in her profession. She touches the minds as well as the hearts of young people; she uses fully her excellent talents and training; she brings love and light to the lives of others. I believe that her role is directed and accepted of the Lord as is my neighbor’s, a mother of eight. Mothering roles differ and may yet take on other dimensions, but we can each learn to use the principles that relate to motherhood.Because I DO have literal, physical children in my home right now (sooooo many of themš), I'm not sure why this doctrine is so meaningful to me—but it is. I guess I love the idea that the skills I'm practicing in my life right now—organizing, managing, teaching, comforting, brightening—are going to be of use to me long after my children grow up and leave home. And not only that—long after I die, in the eternities too! It makes it all seem more worthwhile somehow.
Here's another thing I loved. Sister Thomas said:
Mothering is also an eternal, fundamental work. It has to do with bringing life and love, and it is largely learned.I found that so reassuring. I know women have divine gifts and divine heritage from our Heavenly Mother. Probably even aptitudes and talents that help us do this work of mothering. But on the whole—"it is largely learned." To the extent that loving and nurturing and teaching others doesn't come naturally, we have to just learn it the way we learn anything else! And we CAN learn it! By practice. By study. By inspiration. And we can be confident that our Heavenly Parents will bless us in our efforts!
Other posts in this series:
- Transition by Jan Tolman
I love this too. I used to think it sounded like a kind of condescending thing to try and include women who couldn't have children. But I've come to see it is truly a part of our eternal identity and inheritance as women and children of Heavenly Mother. And that, much like being creators, it is core to our being no matter what our missions and plans here entail. I love that. AND, I do also love the reminder that it is learned. I've felt a few times -- when I've felt utterly overwhelmed and failing at some motherly duty or other that Heavenly Father KNOWS I've never done this before. I've never experienced getting a rebellious child to desire to obey or to teach two children to interact in love towards each other. It reminds me of that story I told you that woman shared about feeling sad once her children were grown that she couldn't put into practice all she had learned -- BACK AT THE BEGINNING. But then she had a strong impression that that was a necessary POINT of her raising her children -- so she could learn all of those thing. And, I'm sure, she will be employing them in the eternities -- and thanking her earthly children for the growth and practice they provided for her.
ReplyDeleteYes, sometimes that idea makes me feel discouraged--the idea that I will only get good at this parenting stuff once I'm done with it! It makes me think, well, what is the point then?? But if I remember that the goal is NOT that I somehow "produce" perfect children or a perfect family--but that I eventually become closer to being like God--then it makes more sense. Like you said, in the eternities, we won't care HOW we learned it--but just be grateful THAT we learned those skills!!
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