Baking with Ken

This is another of the short essays I wrote for this year's homeschool writing group with Malachi and Daisy. I always feel like I could make a sacrament meeting talk out of this story…😄

I received the book “Flour, Water, Salt, Yeast” as a gift. It was an impressive tome; a Bible of sourdough baking, written by the owner of a famous San Francisco bakery. I tried to like it. I loved baking bread, after all, and had been doing so since I was a wee tot making tiny loaves in the tiny loaf pans my mother bought to encourage my homemaking skills. And the pictures were beautiful. But the author, the improbably named Ken Forkish, described the most banal of bread tasks with breathless exactness, and it seemed a little much. Did one really need a “technique” for mixing the dough? I wondered. (“The only truly reliable method is with the bare hands, using the non-dominant hand as a spatula to clean the other after each fold,” said Ken Forkish.) After the fourth time the book mentioned testing the pH of your water for optimum acidity, I tossed it aside in disgust.

“He makes bread baking sound like rocket science,” I complained to my husband. “He’s going to scare two-thirds of his audience away and make the other third incurably smug.” It seemed ridiculous to treat the process with such awe and sacredness, especially for a book whose whole premise had been the simplicity of bread made from only “flour, water, salt, yeast.” 

I continued to make bread, and experimenting with the mix and method for my sourdough, but now I did it with a constant awareness of all the things I’d been ignoring my whole life: precise water temperature, folding technique, proofing baskets, bench resting time, oven spring. “Hah!” I’d think from time to time. “No wonder so many people get scared off from the perfectly simple process of making bread!”

It was about two years later that I ran into a breach in my routine; a scheduling conflict that left me with bread ready to bake but no time to bake it. I found a blog post that described a slightly different method of proofing—what I’d usually called the “second rise,” though with this bread it didn’t involve much actual rising—which gave the shaped loaves 24-48 hours in the refrigerator before baking. It solved my problem, so I tried it, and was pleased to find that the resulting bread was improved as well. It had a more open crumb and seemed to lift better in the oven (that “oven spring” I’d heard of). I changed my process, and now that I was doing this long refrigerator proof, I realized that proofing baskets would simplify the process considerably. I bought some a little sheepishly.

With the cold dough, scoring the bread suddenly became easier, and I felt a need to upgrade my scoring technique a little. Rather than one long slash, three sideways slashes seemed to give the bread a better shape, and I could even add decorative slashes between the lines.

Now that the long rise was happening in the fridge, I needed a bigger dough bucket to contain the first rise on the counter. I bought a big square industrial container with volume markings on the side, and quickly discovered how useful those markings were in estimating at a glance how much the dough had risen, or how long it had left to rise. I remembered, with a little stab of discomfort, how Ken Forkish had sung the praises of containers with volume markings, but I pushed the feeling aside.

I had been noticing every now and then that there would be a little pocket of unmixed flour in one of my loaves. It was annoying to bite into one of these pockets, especially when the rest of the bread-eating experience was going so well, and I tried to start being extra vigilant about getting my spoon all the way in and through the dough as I was mixing. It was hard, though, because the flour clumps would hide beneath the bowl of the spoon or in the corners of the container. Sometimes I’d be completely positive I’d mixed everything well, but when I went to shape the bread I’d be horrified to find an an entire section of the dough still stiff and crumbly with unmixed flour. I started reaching into the dough bucket to seek out these stiff spots and eliminate them. If I rubbed them between my fingers, the flour would soften and incorporate into the wetter dough around it. Pretty soon I found that it saved effort to just start with this method—my hand could find dry spots much more easily than the spoon, and then it could immediately rub and fold the dough much more efficiently than could a spoon. The dough was always quite shaggy and clumpy at first, so it stuck to my hand, but even with that inconvenience it worked better than a spoon.

It wasn’t until I was describing the process to a friend that I heard myself. “Go into each corner of the bucket with a bare hand,” I said. “It’s the only way to really feel that the dough is right. You can use your other hand as a sort of spatula,” I said, and the words echoed strangely in my ears, as if someone else were saying them. As if Ken Forkish were saying them.

Bathed in help even during turbulent times

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the April 2010 Conference. 

We started a new decade of General Conference sessions! This is the last full decade we have left and then we'll start on the 2020's! 

There were so many good talks in this session, and each of them seemed to have some pertinent advice for my challenges right now. I particularly liked Sister Julie B. Beck's talk “And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit.” It reminded me of something else I read lately by one of my favorite Catholic writers and mothers, Leila Lawler. She was writing about the concept, much fretted over in some circles these days, of the disproportionate "mental load" women supposedly bear:

The woman of the house indeed has a lot on her mind, because her mind encompasses every facet of life instead of one circumscribed slice of it. She cares for her home, the bodies in it, the neighborhood outside it. She is building the one place upon which it all depends.

Casting this effort as an intolerable burden on her, emphasizing that she is not paid for it, and inciting in her a chafing rebellion against it, undermines her value.

Frankly, the voices of “mental load” amplify narcissism, seeking to convince the wife that she is the only one who is thinking about anything! It is a psy-op, a disruptive tactic.

At the same time, they insidiously cast doubt on her strength for the task. How belittling!

It’s the spirit of contempt, not of cooperation; it creates an atmosphere of conflict, not of collaboration. It hits at the heart of the marital bond of complementary love.

Because after all, everyone has a lot on his mind, not only the mother. The husband relies on his wife to juggle certain — most — details because he is quietly, often stoically, handling others. The children require a world of stability, maintained by a loving heart, so they can be free for the adventure of learning, well, everything.

Making life good for these loved ones is precisely the wonderful and completely voluntary path we housewives undertook when we said “I do.” That it entails work should not come as a surprise.…

Why would we complain about keeping common sense in the world? Get a calendar, write things on the blackboard, organize some of your things, smile as you remind about picking up milk.

Your job is a great one — don’t listen to the serpents who wish to disturb your garden.

I love that reminder not to dwell on "unfairness" and whether or not we should "have to" bear the burdens of wifehood and motherhood. Does focusing on that make anyone happier? Does it lead to clearer vision or greater gratitude? And here is Sister Beck saying essentially the same thing, fifteen years ago:

A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important. A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently.

Then she gives such an inspiring vision of how personal revelation can help the busy woman "bear up her burdens with ease":

Revelation can come hour by hour and moment by moment as we do the right things. When women nurture as Christ nurtured, a power and peace can descend to guide when help is needed. For instance, mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children. Being in the right places allows us to receive guidance. It requires a conscious effort to diminish distractions, but having the spirit of revelation makes it possible to prevail over opposition and persist in faith through difficult days and essential routine tasks. Personal revelation gives us the understanding of what to do every day to increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek those who need our help. Because personal revelation is a constantly renewable source of strength, it is possible to feel bathed in help even during turbulent times.

I loved the implicit trust she shows in our ability to grow up, leave selfishness behind, and truly be women of God:

Entrance into Relief Society signifies that a woman can be trusted and relied upon to make a significant contribution in the Church. She continues to progress as an individual without receiving much outward credit or praise.

She references the Eliza R. Snow quote I've written about before:

Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities.

and then Sister Beck elaborates:

We know we are successful if we live so that we qualify for, receive, and know how to follow the Spirit. When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves. We can feel certain that the Lord is pleased when we feel the Spirit working through us. Peace, joy, and hope are available to those who measure success properly.

I love that so much. It makes me want to straighten my shoulders and refuse to be enticed by the temptation to complain and feel sorry for myself! Why should I? I have the greatest calling in the world, and the means to fulfill it, through the grace of Jesus Christ and the power of God through covenants. If that doesn't bring me "peace, joy, and hope," what will?

Other posts in this series:

Built upon a rock—by Roy

Collisions, planned and unplanned

Nothing particularly exciting has been happening around here. Well, unless you count Gus getting hit by a car.

He really did! I can hardly stand to think about it. Here is what we pieced together. He was riding his little bike. He went back through our alley and started to dart across the street just as a car was coming around a corner. The car couldn't stop in time and it hit poor Gussie. It was an Amazon car (not a van, just a car) and the driver stopped immediately to help Gus. There were some people walking by too, and our neighbors came out to help. Sam drove up, coming home from work, just as everyone was gathered around Gus on the side on the road.

To do uncommon things for others

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Relief Society Session of the October 2009 Conference.

I thought a lot about ministering as I read the talks in this session. There was a lot of emphasis on Visiting Teaching from the speakers, and as I remembered those days it made me miss the clarity of all the sisters just expecting each other to come once a month and share a message. I liked those little messages, and I liked the discussions they led to. I know I could still bring such a message on a ministering visit…but now I feel like it would be weird. Ah, well. I am doing my best to learn how minister in a more Christlike way. Here are some quotes from the various talks about visiting teaching that also apply beautifully to ministering:

Sister Julie B. Beck said this:

A sister in this Church has no other responsibility outside of her family that has the potential to do as much good as does visiting teaching.

and this:

It is our blessing to pray for another sister and receive inspiration as to how the Lord would have us care for one of His daughters.

Sister Silvia H. Allred said:

I have witnessed the same miracle in the lives of many women in different parts of the world. They embrace the gospel, and Relief Society helps them strengthen their faith and grow spiritually by giving them leadership and teaching opportunities. In their service, a new dimension is added to their lives. As they progress spiritually, their sense of belonging, identity, and self-worth increases. They realize that the whole intent of the gospel plan is to provide an opportunity for us to reach our fullest potential.

And Elder Eyring said:

[Covenant-keeping women] have done and are able to do uncommon things for others and to find joy even when their own unmet needs are great.

I want to be better at ministering. It seems like every time I start to feel real friendship for a sister, my assignment gets switched and I'm back trying to reach out to a stranger again! But even that does, gradually, help me build small relationships which can slowly grow into bigger ones. My current ministering sisters have only visited me once. We talked for 20 minutes or so. And they've dropped off a treat a time or two. So our contact has been very minimal, but even with that, when I see them at church or an activity, I feel a little warm feeling of familiarity and recognition: "Oh! There's Sister Merrill!" I feel like I could go sit by them. They smile at me. It's all on the very most basic level of friendship—we aren't sharing secrets or life advice yet—but it is a start, and a happy start at that. It always surprises me how relatively few contacts it takes to get to that point. To do "uncommon things," we first have to do common things!

Now, of course, our goal is to do more and become more to each other. But in my experience, that does happen naturally as we keep connecting with each other—even through awkward and imperfect connections. Ministering really is such an amazing and inspired opportunity for sisterhood!

Biscuit in Quebec

 

This is Biscuit. (The bunny—his name is Biscuit. You can say it "Bis-qwee" if you want, because he's a Québecois bunny, but we just call him the American sort of biscuit.)

We bought him right before we came home from Québec. He was on a Christmas tree in a store window—the last bunny on the tree. He only had a hat at that time, but then Daisy thought he looked cold, so for Christmas she crocheted him this little red coat, and now he's warmer and happier.

Anniversary trip to Quebec

You don't need to read this post. How's that for a way to start off? Of course you don't need to read ANY post, but when I imagine friends and acquaintances sitting down with this, I feel like one of those archetypal travelogue-ers who buttonholes strangers to come watch him flip through the 300 slides in his Hawaiian Vacation slideshow. However, when I envision my future self and children reading through old blog books…I don't want to leave out a single picture. So here we are.

A keystone in the counteroffensive

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 2009 Conference.

Wow, this session was full of good talks! There is Elder Holland's classic talk about the Book of Mormon, "Safety for the Soul," the words of which even now I hear ringing in my ears from time to time ("If anyone is foolish enough or misled enough to reject 531 pages of a heretofore unknown text teeming with literary and Semitic complexity without honestly attempting to account for the origin of those pages—especially without accounting for their powerful witness of Jesus Christ and the profound spiritual impact that witness has had on what is now tens of millions of readers—if that is the case, then such a person, elect or otherwise, has been deceived; and if he or she leaves this Church, it must be done by crawling over or under or around the Book of Mormon to make that exit"). I get goosebumps every time I read his powerful testimony:

I hope I have a few years left in my “last days,” but whether I do or do not, I want it absolutely clear when I stand before the judgment bar of God that I declared to the world, in the most straightforward language I could summon, that the Book of Mormon is true, that it came forth the way Joseph said it came forth and was given to bring happiness and hope to the faithful in the travail of the latter days.

So good! 

Another good talk in this session was Elder Renlund's masterpiece "Preserving the Heart's Mighty Change" which just hits so hard coming from a heart surgeon. 

But something that has stayed with me this week is from a third great talk, Elder Christofferson's "Moral Discipline." The part that struck me was this:

We cannot presume that the future will resemble the past—that things and patterns we have relied upon economically, politically, socially will remain as they have been. Perhaps our moral discipline, if we will cultivate it, will have an influence for good and inspire others to pursue the same course. We may thereby have an impact on future trends and events. At a minimum, moral discipline will be of immense help to us as we deal with whatever stresses and challenges may come in a disintegrating society.

Something about that just seemed so sober and full of warning. We can't resume that things and patterns we have relied upon will remain as they have been. We've all seen it—how fast trends in the world can change, how far values can skew from their centers. I start to get terrified for my kids if I let myself dwell on it. How can they possibly make sense of things in a world so full of darkness? How can any teachings be enough to overcome the relentless pull of the culture they're surrounded by? Elder Christofferson's talk keeps emphasizing that we need to help children learn "moral discipline," but beyond saying that parents should teach the gospel with "love and discipline," he doesn't go much into HOW! 

Going back to Elder Holland's Book of Mormon talk, though, I found these words helpful and comforting. Elder Holland mentions those same sobering warnings about the last days, and then tells us how God has prepared help for these very times:

The Savior warned that in the last days even those of the covenant, the very elect, could be deceived by the enemy of truth.…[but] The encouraging thing, of course, is that our Father in Heaven knows all of these latter-day dangers, these troubles of the heart and soul, and has given counsel and protections regarding them. 

In light of that, it has always been significant to me that the Book of Mormon, one of the Lord’s powerful keystones in this counteroffensive against latter-day ills, begins with a great parable of life, an extended allegory of hope versus fear, of light versus darkness, of salvation versus destruction…

Love. Healing. Help. Hope. The power of Christ to counter all troubles in all times—including the end of times. That is the safe harbor God wants for us in personal or public days of despair. That is the message with which the Book of Mormon begins, and that is the message with which it ends, calling all to “come unto Christ, and be perfected in him.”

I know there have been many promises from prophets about the power of the Book of Mormon to help our families. It contains so many good doctrines about how to come closer to Jesus Christ. So of course using its teachings, and reading its words to ourselves and our children, can provide safety and hope even in this "disintegrating society" at "the end of times"! 

I need to remember that for everything Satan throws at us and our children, the Lord has already provided a "counteroffensive"! He doesn't leave us alone to face the Last Days. He will give us all the "love, healing, help, and hope" we need to return to Him, and to help our families return!

Hour by hour

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 2009 Conference.

I really liked Elder Eyring's talk from this conference. Abe sent it to me to study together once while he was on his mission, so I have read it recently, but I notice new things each time I read it.

One quote from this talk is something I've had around for years in a note on my phone, because I feel like I need to read it often:

Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion.

Of course I want to just naturally BE this type of person and have this type of love, but sometimes I forget that it doesn't happen automatically for anyone (even very nice people, haha). Anyone who has this sort of love in a relationship has prayed for it and practiced it. I can too. 

I have also loved this for a long time:

…Any believing Latter-day Saint is an optimist about what lies ahead for him or her, however difficult the present may be. We believe that through living the gospel of Jesus Christ we can become like the Savior, who is perfect. Considering the attributes of Jesus Christ should quash the pride of the self-satisfied person who thinks he or she has no need to improve. And even the most humble person can take hope in the invitation to become like the Savior.

The quote I have been thinking about most, though, is this one:

Love is the motivating principle by which the Lord leads us along the way towards becoming like Him, our perfect example. Our way of life, hour by hour, must be filled with the love of God and love for others. 

I wonder how, exactly, one sets up a life that, "hour by hour," is filled with the love of God? How can we arrange our days and our weeks so there is room for attention and service? So many parts of life require worrying about ourselves—what will we eat, how will we pay for things, where will we go to find fulfillment? You can quite easily get caught up those things and never notice the people around you at all! Families, of course, help jolt us out of our self-focus. Motherhood is almost guaranteed to do so. It makes you a little more unselfish whether you like it or not! :) But there are still so many ways I could work on that "hour by hour" type of focus on loving God. Can I really remember Him so frequently in my day? Could I set up pictures, habits, routines, reminders that keep me constantly looking outward and bringing me back to Him—even while I'm driving, cleaning, cooking, making phone calls, organizing, keeping track of schedules, and so forth? Interesting to think about.

Other posts in this series:

"The -ity virtues"—by Rozy

Junie's birthday, Aviation Fair, and other sundries

Shall we talk about Gus-Gus? Sweetest little Gus got an idea in his head to draw a picture of a dinosaur, and then give it "the worker at the dinosaur museum." I didn't know if he had a specific worker in mind or what had given him this thought. But he was insistent. Luckily, when we brought in the picture, the museum workers were very nice and Gus and Ziggy ended up talking to one of them about dinosaurs, fossils, amber, and all sorts of interesting things for over an hour! And he put Gus's picture up on the wall.

They matured in the gospel

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the October 2009 Conference.

My favorite talk this week was one by Elder Yoon Hwan Choi called "I Love Loud Boys," and the title really sums up the talk! It thought it was sweet to read about the ways that Elder Choi came to love a group of rowdy boys in his ward:

Most of them were not good students in school and were considered by many to be troublemakers.

I was a young father of two sons, who were seven and nine years old at the time. I did not know what I could do for these young men. They were so rowdy that once my wife, Bon-Kyoung, asked me if we could move to another ward so that our sons could see good examples from other young men. I pondered and prayed to Heavenly Father to help me to find the way to help these young men. Finally I made the decision to try and teach them how they could change their lives.

A vision came upon my mind very clearly. I felt that if they were to become missionaries, their lives would be changed. From that moment on, I became very excited, and I tried to spend as much time as possible with them, teaching them the importance of missionary service and how to prepare for a mission.…

The boys visited our home almost every weekend and even on some weekdays. We fed them and taught them. We taught them the principles of the gospel as well as the application of the gospel in their lives. We tried to give them a vision of their future life.

They sang together every time they came to our home. Their loud sound hurt our ears. But we always praised them because listening to them sing was far more enjoyable than seeing them get into trouble.

Through the years these activities continued. Most of these young men matured in the gospel, and a miracle happened. Over time, nine of the boys who were not members were baptized. They changed from loud, rowdy boys into valiant stripling warriors.

I'm not serving in Primary anymore, but this talk made me think so much about what a difference love and patience can make in the lives of children. A couple of my primary classes definitely had some "loud boys" in them, and it was so easy to feel impatient with them. (Not to mention the six "loud boys" I have in my own family, ha!) I love this reminder that the gospel is helping all of us mature; it's helping all of us become who we need to be! We can be patient and let God do His work. Even loud boys are beloved children of God, and it's our job as parents and leaders to help them realize it.

Other posts in this series:

Just happy to be obedient—by Rozy

They were not back alone

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 2009 Conference.

Good talks in this session, including Elder Oaks' "Love and Law" treating a theme he's returned to over and over again in this past decade and a half—the balance of justice and mercy, the first commandment and the second commandment, love of God and love of others. He never says (because he can't) exactly how to achieve this difficult balance. But he seems to want to teach us again and again that we must grapple with the "how" ourselves, continually seeking the Spirit's guidance to help us figure it out.

As I am struggling with this very question right now in my own life, it's sobering to feel the weight of that responsibility, especially when Elder Oaks says things like this: 

…when family members are not united in striving to keep the commandments of God, there will be divisions. We do all that we can to avoid impairing loving relationships, but sometimes it happens after all we can do.

In the midst of such stress, we must endure the reality that the straying of our loved ones will detract from our happiness, but it should not detract from our love for one another or our patient efforts to be united in understanding God’s love and God’s laws.

However, in another talk, Elder Andersen's, I found this story:

Once I was asked to meet an older couple returning to the Church. They had been taught the gospel by their parents. After their marriage, they left the Church. Now, 50 years later, they were returning. I remember the husband coming into the office pulling an oxygen tank. They expressed regret at not having remained faithful. I told them of our happiness because of their return, assuring them of the Lord’s welcoming arms to those who repent. The elderly man responded, “We know this, Brother Andersen. But our sadness is that our children and grandchildren do not have the blessings of the gospel. We are back, but we are back alone.

There are plenty of conference talks warning of this very situation—reminding us how one person's gospel carelessness can have such lasting consequences for their children and grandchildren, and about the sadness of descendants having to wander again in search of covenant blessings their ancestors had already found. But I loved this story because of what Elder Andersen (surprisingly!) said next:

They were not back alone. Repentance not only changes us, but it also blesses our families and those we love. With our righteous repentance, in the timetable of the Lord, the lengthened-out arms of the Savior will not only encircle us but will also extend into the lives of our children and posterity. Repentance always means that there is greater happiness ahead.

Even though this couple had strayed from what they knew to be right for all that time, and I'm sure their coming back seemed "too late" in so many ways, it was not too late for God to turn it for their good. It was not too late for Him to do His miracles. And it's true as we seek to balance love and law for our families and our children as well. Even if we do it imperfectly, even if our families do feel the pain of those "divisions" Elder Oaks speaks of for a time, that state of division and unhappiness is not the end. Our own efforts to press forward, repent, and keep walking toward God will be enough with God's help. The Savior's loving arms "will also extend into the lives of our children and posterity," and His perfect love and His perfect law will work in perfect balance to bring all of us the greatest happiness possible.

Other posts in this series:

God's love and laws—by Rozy

Growth will come as you struggle

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the October 2009 Conference.

Three of the talks in this session are "classics;" talks I've revisited already more than once and which I frequently run into quotes from. They're Elder Scott's "To Acquire Spiritual Guidance," Elder Bednar's "More Diligent and Concerned at Home," and Elder Uchtdorf's "The Love of God." They're all so good I wasn't sure which to write about! But as I was looking through my favorite parts of all of them, those parts all seemed to be circling around the idea of patience or consistency in living the gospel. That must be the message I need right now! So, here are some of those excerpts.

Elder Scott starts by talking about something I've thought a lot about lately:

Today, world conditions change so rapidly that such a course of action is often not available to us.

Personally, I rejoice in that reality because it creates a condition where we, of necessity, are more dependent upon the Spirit to guide us through the vicissitudes of life.

Personally, I do not rejoice in that reality because it's so hard! I can't ask my parents how they handled smartphones or online pornography or social media. It feels so daunting to cope with all these challenges! But, I would like to follow Elder Scott's example and see the good side: more chances to rely on and learn from the Holy Ghost! Then he says,

I am convinced that there is no simple formula or technique that would immediately allow you to master the ability to be guided by the voice of the Spirit.…[Heavenly Father and Jesus] know that essential personal growth will come as you struggle to learn how to be led by the Spirit.

It's so hard to be patient sometimes with the gap between wanting the Spirit and actually qualifying for and understanding it! There are SO many things I need help with, and SO many things I feel I'm not getting that help with! Not that the Spirit isn't helping me, but I'm just not comprehending it or following it well enough! So it's comforting to think that as I'm struggling, I am learning. And as I'm feeling confused, I am learning. And as I am fighting off discouragement, I am learning. All of that is part of the learning! 

Elder Bednar brings up a similar idea when he talks about his family's efforts to have scripture study, prayer, and Family Home Evening. He says

At times Sister Bednar and I were exasperated because the righteous habits we worked so hard to foster did not seem to yield immediately the spiritual results we wanted and expected.

I'm sure every parent in the church related to that statement. I did when I first heard it—but I did even MORE when I read it this time. So, after feeling that exasperation, it seems almost too good to be true to think that just as struggles with hearing the spirit are part of the learning we need, struggles with our family and our children are part of what we need too!—that those struggles and intense efforts are even an essential part of family growth:

Sister Bednar and I thought helping our sons understand the content of a particular lesson or a specific scripture was the ultimate outcome. But such a result does not occur each time we study or pray or learn together. The consistency of our intent and work was perhaps the greatest lesson—a lesson we did not fully appreciate at the time.

And then Elder Uchtdorf reiterates the same point: being a disciple of Christ just means keeping up the struggle!:

My dear brothers and sisters, don’t get discouraged if you stumble at times. Don’t feel downcast or despair if you don’t feel worthy to be a disciple of Christ at all times. The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. We must try to believe. Try to learn of God: read the scriptures; study the words of His latter-day prophets; choose to listen to the Father; and do the things He asks of us. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible—and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you.

He reminds us:

If you listen for the voice of the Father, He will lead you on a course that will allow you to experience the pure love of Christ.

And that's the main lesson I felt from all these talks, I guess. Just that I need to trust the covenant path. Wherever it takes me, whatever difficulties and failures I encounter as I try to keep my covenants to qualify for the Spirit, to teach my children, to love my neighbors, to always remember the Savior—God has already provided the way through. It requires confusion and uncertainty at times. It requires being frustrated. It requires going through periods where I can see no good results coming from my efforts. It requires having to try again a hundred times to acquire a virtue I think I should have already mastered. And all of those discouraging, frustrating elements are not detours from, but important parts of, the path Heavenly Father has designed for me to walk. All I need to do is keep walking on it, trusting the Savior, and He will lead me to where I need and desire to be!

Other posts in this series:

Be Still—by Rozy

Spiritual Confidence—by Jan

Virtue and Power

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Young Women's Session of the April 2009 Conference.

I thought it was interesting to read Sister Mary N. Cook's 2009 talk on virtue right after studying President Nelson's most recent conference talk on virtue. The Young Women's program had a big emphasis on virtue during these years (I remember when they added virtue as one of the Young Women Values) so it was a frequent theme. I don't think I had quite been called as YW President yet in 2009, but the emphasis was still there whenever I was called, soon after this, I think. I'm sure President Nelson was even involved with some of the discussions and the adding of the new value, etc., and for all I know this General Young Women Presidency influenced his thinking on the subject!

Sister Cook says,

Why is our being virtuous so important not just to our earthly parents but to our Heavenly Father as well? Virtue brings peace, strength of character, and happiness in this life. Our Heavenly Father knew that we would be faced with many choices and challenges, and virtuous living would prepare us to succeed.

So we definitely need virtue, no doubt about that! But what does it really mean? I have been trying to study the word and concept of virtue since President Nelson's talk, and in all my study I've not really found much difference between the idea of "virtue" and the idea of just "being good." It seems like for most applications, they are synonymous. Virtue does have the specific connotation of sexual purity, and Sister Dalton emphasized this in her talk: "The core of a virtuous life is sexual purity, and yet this definition has almost been erased by the world. The prophet Mormon taught that chastity and virtue are “most dear and precious above all things” (Moroni 9:9). They go together." But as I read through President Nelson's talk, it seemed like replacing the word "virtue" with "righteousness" or "goodness" would really do just as well.

I won't go into all my thoughts about this subject because I'm still figuring out what they are😁, but there is one theme that has been really prevalent in all the reading I've done, and that is the connection between virtue and power. Sister Cook quoted the Personal Progress manual (I miss Personal Progress!) which said:

Determine to partake worthily of the sacrament each week and fill your life with virtuous activities that will bring spiritual power. As you do this, you will grow stronger in your ability to resist temptation, keep the commandments [remain clean], and become more like Jesus Christ.

I also really liked her idea of forming "patterns of virtue" (reminds me of President Nelson's "spiritual momentum") in this encouraging quote:

Just as the Salt Lake Temple took 40 years to build, stone by stone, you are building a virtuous life, step by step. You have made covenants to be obedient. You have made some good choices. The patterns of virtue you develop now will help you to continually hold fast to the iron rod.

Whether virtue is just "being good" or something more than that, I want to gain the spiritual power that living virtuously will allow. I want my children to gain that power as well! Something another speaker, Sister Ann M. Dibb, said in this session was very hopeful along those lines:

Thinking back to when I was a young woman, I recognize that I did not understand the magnitude of what was happening in my life. I did not realize that my participation in each and every Church activity was helping me develop a lifelong pattern and commitment to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. I didn’t understand that I was being prepared for my future life as an individual, a wife, a mother, and a leader. I didn’t understand that as I tried to choose the right, I was honoring my baptismal covenants, exercising faith, increasing my virtue, and preparing to go to the temple. I couldn’t see all of this then, but in very small, incremental steps, I was becoming a believer—and “an example of the believers.”

I know the same thing has happened to me as I've walked step by step along the covenant path, so I have to be optimistic that my children will learn to desire and qualify for those same blessings, by seeking after virtue as best they can at every stage of their lives!

Other posts in this series:

Virtue—by Rozy

Malachi Promenading (again)

After all his talk about how Daisy should go to Prom in his group because it was his laaaast dance ever in High School etc etc etc…Malachi ended up going to a second prom, this one for his Debate League. He had me take pictures again and for some reason I agreed. (It was fun, actually, because they are fun kids, but the editing takes so long!) Malachi went with his Contractual Girlfriend (long story…and mostly the type of joke of which only Malachi is capable), Cosette, and they made quite a handsome couple! So, because Malachi doesn't get much attention on the blog these days, here are some pictures!

Holy Week and Easter

I like the fact that Holy Week is becoming more widely celebrated in our church (though I suppose as individuals, there were lots of people doing that already—we have been trying to establish Holy Week traditions for over 10 years now). My mother-in-law was on the church Family Home Evening committee when Sam was young in the 1980s, and when she came up with some Easter Week FHE lesson plans, she was told "No—those make it seem too much like we're celebrating Holy Week!" Ha! I wonder why whoever it was was so bothered by that?

Unfortunately, it is hard to celebrate Eastertide "on the same level" as Christmastide when the world around us goes on busy as ever! Right before Christmas, it seems like "public" things slow down in recognition of family parties and so forth. But for Easter week, if we wanted to do anything together as a family, the kids (and me!) had to say no to a bunch of other things. Well, that's okay. We did it. And we had fun together.

Faithfully and consistently

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the April 2009 Conference.

This session had an Elder Bednar talk I don't remember at all, but it's really good! He talked about how the temple is at the center of the gospel and should be at the center of our lives as well. I loved his insight about taking upon ourselves Christ's name in the temple. First he quotes Elder Oaks saying that when we take the sacrament, "we do not witness that we take upon us the name of Jesus Christ. [Rather,] we witness that we are willing to do so. The fact that we only witness to our willingness suggests that something else must happen before we actually take that sacred name upon us in the [ultimate and] most important sense." Then he continues:

"The process of taking upon ourselves the name of Jesus Christ that is commenced in the waters of baptism is continued and enlarged in the house of the Lord…Thus, in the ordinances of the holy temple we more completely and fully take upon us the name of Jesus Christ."

I've always thought of taking upon ourselves Christ's name as so much a part of baptism, I haven't thought as much about how we do it again and more fully later in the temple. I like the idea of baptism as only the beginning of an apprenticeship in which we can later gain more authority, power, and ability to act as Jesus Christ would act and see things as He would see them. 

Elder Bednar summarizes something he says multiple temple presidents told him about the temple: 

There is a difference between church-attending, tithe-paying members who occasionally rush into the temple to go through a session and those members who faithfully and consistently worship in the temple.

He then quotes a scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 109 (which President Nelson has recently had us study too):

“We ask thee, Holy Father, to establish the people that shall worship, and honorably hold a name and standing in this thy house, to all generations and for eternity;

“That no weapon formed against them shall prosper; that he who diggeth a pit for them shall fall into the same himself;

“That no combination of wickedness shall have power to rise up and prevail over thy people upon whom thy name shall be put in this house;

“And if any people shall rise against this people, that thine anger be kindled against them;

“And if they shall smite this people thou wilt smite them; thou wilt fight for thy people as thou didst in the day of battle, that they may be delivered from the hands of all their enemies.”

Elder Bednar equates those words, "honorably hold a name and standing in this thy house," with the description temple presidents gave about people who "faithfully and consistently worship in the temple." It makes sense to me that becoming established in the Lord's temple, not just attending there but "worshiping" there, is a necessary part of our transformation to become more like God. And it makes me want to try and more fully immerse myself in temple worship, and in taking upon myself Christ's name as I do so!

Other posts in this series:

Choices—by Rozy

Rachael, King Elizabeth, Bunnies

Let's start off this post with a Clementine update! 

Update: she is cute. And we love her SO SO SO SO much.

Reluctant season changes

The end of March always seems like a surly toddler to me, trying to resist going to his nap and insist he doesn't need one, even though it's clear to everyone else that a nap is exactly what he does need. March hangs onto winter long past the time it makes any sense. We're ready for Spring. The trees are ready for Spring. Even the bulbs are ready for Spring, but March insists on having a few more snowstorms just to show you that it can. 

Well. I don't mind March snow, just as I don't mind toddlers trying to stay awake through their naps much, anymore, and for much the same reason—I know it will be over soon enough. And we need the water, after all, don't we? So I've rather enjoyed the back-and-forth spring and snow this year. 

Now ask me if I'm accepting my children's season changes just as gracefully?

(The answer is no. I want Clementine and Gus to stay EXACTLY LIKE THIS FOREVER.)

Never closer than in suffering

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the April 2009 Conference.

All the talks in this session were so good! They were given on Palm Sunday, so many of them were about Easter and Jesus Christ, and it was nice to read them during Holy Week. It was hard to choose what to write about, but one of the quotes I liked most was (of course) from Elder Holland's talk, "None Were With Him":

But Jesus held on. He pressed on. The goodness in Him allowed faith to triumph even in a state of complete anguish. The trust He lived by told Him in spite of His feelings that divine compassion is never absent, that God is always faithful, that He never flees nor fails us.

This is something I hadn't considered before—that Jesus showed the same trust in Heavenly Father that I am trying to learn! I had thought (because of this talk) about Him feeling lonely and abandoned, but I hadn't thought about Him clinging to trust anyway, that He would have to courageously "against hope believe in hope" and trust His Father hadn't abandoned Him even though it felt like He had. In my head I can imagine a sort of barrier or veil symbolizing the withdrawal of the Spirit that had to be placed between the two of them so Jesus would truly experience all that we feel. But it's beautiful to imagine Heavenly Father on one side, as Elder Holland says "never…closer to His Son than in these agonizing final moments of suffering." And Jesus standing right next to Him on the other side, holding on to trust that soon the veil will be parted and He will again see and feel His Father who has been there all along.

I was telling Clementine the Easter story at bedtime one night this week. When my kids get hurt they always say "I have a bleeding spot!" so I told her about how Jesus had "bleeding spots" all over his body from feeling our pains and sorrows. When I got to the part about how Jesus died and His spirit went to heaven, Clementine interrupted me urgently—"And then he ran to Heavenly Father and told him he had a bleeding spot? And Heavenly Father kissed him?" I loved her sweet certainty about what should happen when we get hurt—and I love to know that it really is what happened, and what will happen for us if we turn to our Father through our pains and sorrows. Elder Holland's words are some of the most comforting I have ever read:

Brothers and sisters, one of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said, “I will not leave you comfortless: [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].”

Other posts in this series:

Christ, Our Savior—by Jan

I am not alone—by Rozy

Agents of our Heavenly King

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the April 2009 Conference.

I have always loved Elder Uchtdorf's talk "We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down." I still think about it frequently. But there were a few parts I didn't remember. I know we've all been struck in the last several General Conferences (2020 and on) with how seriously and urgently President Nelson and the apostles are talking about the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, so I was interested to notice that this talk was no less urgent about it:

Dear brethren of the priesthood, we live in the latter days. The gospel of Jesus Christ is restored to the earth. The keys of the priesthood of God are given again to man. We live in an era of anticipation and preparation, entrusted by God to prepare ourselves, our families, our world for the approaching dawn—the day when the Son of God will “descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God” and usher in His millennial reign.

We have been entrusted with the holy priesthood and charged with the responsibility, power, and right to act as agents of our Heavenly King.

These are the things that matter most. These are the things of eternal value that deserve our attention.

It's so easy, even now, to forget the larger picture about the work of building God's kingdom. I was saying to my mom the other day (when she asked me what I was making for Easter dinner, haha) that it takes a supreme effort to wrench my awareness toward anything beyond what urgently needs my attention in the next 7 days. I do plan ahead, because I have to, but there are specific times I set aside for figuring out the next week's dinners or the next year's curriculum, and other than that I'm mostly just trying to keep my head above water! So it's definitely important for me to make that supreme effort and remember why am I really doing any of this at all:

Our Heavenly Father seeks those who refuse to allow the trivial to hinder them in their pursuit of the eternal. He seeks those who will not allow the attraction of ease or the traps of the adversary to distract them from the work He has given them to perform. He seeks those whose actions conform to their words—those who say with conviction, “I am doing a great work and cannot come down.” …My dear brethren, like Nehemiah, we have a great work to do. We stand overlooking the horizon of our age. It is my fervent prayer that in spite of temptations, we will never lower our standards; that in spite of distractions, wherever they may come from, we will not lose focus on what matters most; that we will stand resolute and together, shoulder to shoulder, as we valiantly bear the banner of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Other posts in this series:

Doing a Great Work—by Rozy

Excited, enthusiastic, delighted, joyful

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week we take a break from past conferences to talk about the conference that just took place, the April 2025 Conference.

Another great conference! We were away from home for the previous two General Conferences (in Quebec in October, and in Texas in April!) which is unusual for us, so it felt good to be back doing the old familiar things. And I loved hearing the Tabernacle Choir singing so many of the new hymns so I could hear how pretty they are!

Here are some of my quick impressions, with apologies for my bastardization (you don't mind me using that word about conference, do you? haha) of the quotations—the official transcripts aren't out yet!

• Sister Amy Wright saying that we need to "infuse the light of Christ into every corner of our lives." And that while parental love can help and comfort our children, only Jesus and Heavenly Father's love can save them!

• Sister Runia's talk was really good. I loved her last talk (Oct 2023 Conference) too. I loved the idea that God cares more about what happens after our mistakes than the mistakes themselves. And I like her insistence that God isn't sad or disappointed in us for needing to repent, but instead "excited" and "delighted" and "joyful" when we do! I am sometimes hesitant to use those kind of words about Jesus and Heavenly Father, feeling that surely they sometimes must be disappointed and exasperated and displeased with me. But my patriarchal blessing refers to "the enthusiasm" with which Jesus anticipates some of the contributions I will make, so I've thought a lot about that. Does He really feel "enthusiastic" about my work and progress? I have to believe He does. It's interesting to think of Him like that. And I love the idea of pondering, "What would the Savior say if He were praying for me?" 

• Elder Patrick Kearon spoke on much the same theme (and with similar words about the way God feels about us). I liked his emphasis on the fact that if we want to truly receive the full effect of this knowledge, we have to actively draw close to it, cling to it, and rejoice in it. "Don't complicate it." As we see life through the lens of God's personal love for us, "life takes on new brilliance and beauty." I love that.

• Sister Camille N. Johnson. Another great talk from her. I have never considered in the slightest that there might be a difference between being "healed" and being "made whole," but I'm intrigued by that new thought. Malachi really liked this talk too (he loves it when someone surprises him with a new insight). I liked her phrase "the blessing of becoming acquainted with God."

• I don't have any specific quotes from Elder Steven Lund's talk but I liked it for its vision of what the Priesthood can be for our boys and men. He either said, or I just had the thought, that the priesthood gives men and boys everything they need to become who they need to become. I had a very similar thought come to me through inspiration years ago, when Sebastian was 11 or so, and I have become more convinced of it over the years.

• I liked S. Mark Palmer's talk (and accent). He talked about the fallen willow tree that was, in fact, able to be saved. I loved the person he quoted in his talk: "My parents decided to love me. They stuck to that one big decision" even as their child wandered from the gospel, and because of that, "the one thing that was not hard about returning was the feeling of being back home where I belong." 

Another thought I had during his talk was that although I always notice the scriptures about how in the Last Days "even the very elect shall fall away"—it doesn't say anywhere that those very elect will not also come back! I've been listening to a few episodes from that "Come Back Podcast" and it has so many beautiful stories of that very thing happening. It's good to remember that when I'm feeling discouraged with how many people seem to be turning away from their former faith.

• Elder James Rasband's insight from Doctrine and Covenants 109 about how going to the temple will allow the "hearts of all people to be softened"—not merely our own hearts, but even the hearts of those we love and care about who are not going to the temple! 

• Elder Steven D. Shumway's talk was one of my favorites. He was the one who started with the story about how overwhelmed he felt with his general authority calling, and then asked "why does God give us callings and ask things of us that overwhelm us? I loved "God delights to honor us [there's that word again] when we say yes to serving. Saying yes to Christ is saying yes to the most abundant life possible." And I love that he connected our service with being prepared for the Second Coming of Jesus—saying that our willing work to serve and build God's kingdom is the best possible way to be prepared for that day!

• So many people talked about service as the way to happiness, which isn't a new concept or anything, but I noticed a specific aspect to those promises that I've also heard the guy from The Other Side Academy talk about before; i.e. that our service anywhere in God's vineyard will (somewhat mysteriously) help those closest to us as well, and bring inexplicable happiness even though we sorrow over those we cannot yet reach. Bishop Gerald Caussé mentioned this idea, that even when we've done all we can in one situation and can't do any more for now, we can keep serving elsewhere and trust the "compensating blessings" that will come, even to the point that angels will assist us from the beyond the veil. Elder John McCune also reiterated that "you can't be happier than your most unhappy child" is false when we have a gospel perspective. He said that because we are bound to the Savior, we can find and grasp joy in keeping our covenants even when others don't, and when sorrowful things surround us—we are actually endowed with the power to have this joy! And President Eyring talked about it too, quoting in the Doctrine and Covenants when Joseph and Hyrum were told as they went off to serve God in other places, "your families are in mine hands."

• Elder Uchtdorf was great as always. "Most people experience church first as how they feel and how we treat each other." I think it's so true for young children in Primary too. Their first experience of the gospel is how they feel when they are taught about it. When I was a primary teacher I was so anxious to try and at least just make the children feel that I liked them, that I enjoyed being with them, whether or not they listened to me very well! I don't know if I succeeded at that but I did think about it a lot! And I want to make sure I'm making that effort to everyone I see at church, not just the children.

• Elder Christoffersen's talk on worship and Elder Soares' talk on reverence seemed like companion talks. Neither of those subjects are something I would have predicted would be that important to speak about, but as I think about what Elder Soares said, how casualness and irreverence is more and more the norm in our world, it makes sense. I thought it was very interesting to connect A.I. to this topic too!

• I thought it was so interesting when Elder Rasband said something like "More education means more access to good employment, which means more access to opportunities to serve." I like to think of education as being all directed toward that end goal! Not toward "a good job" (which is a good goal, and what I've always thought of before, but it's incomplete)—because why do we want a "good job"? The best reason is so that we can serve others. Starting with our own families, of course—Sam's education has been such a blessing to me and our children because of how it's allowed me to be home with our family. But others as well. I was talking to one of my sons after conference and trying to convey this same principle—that everything he can learn, every talent he can develop, will be so much more valuable and fulfilling to him when he is able to use it to serve others! We know people who have learned about topics as varied as cars, home repairs, family law, owning a business, beekeeping, music—and then used that knowledge to absolutely serve and bless us in ways they never would have been able to without that education. And that's not even taking into account people who make lots of extra money, or work up to lots of extra time away from their jobs, and then use that money and time to directly serve and bless others, which I know could also have been part of what Elder Rasband meant. 

• Elder Stevenson (who likes bunnies, by the way—we know this because he told a bunny story once, and also because he calls them "bunnies," and also because he said his Easter decorations used to be mostly bunnies!) had one of the best stories of conference—the one about the mean customs officer being transformed and smiling when she saw the picture of Jesus. I love how Elder Stevenson said something like "Jesus can connect people and bring us out of our mundane, routine actions to something higher and holier."

• Elder Gong's felt like a talk I'm going to like when I read it again. He was circling around the topic of weeping for sorrow and joy, and then he brought in how Jesus's presence was a blessing to Egypt even as Egypt sheltered Jesus, and I think it was an analogy of how we and those of other faiths can reinforce and bless each other, but it also felt like another call-out to that idea that when we serve anyone, anywhere, our own loved ones end up being blessed. Then he talked about how spiritual sequence and convergence are part of divine patterns. I'm not sure what he meant by that, but I thought about the liturgical year that those of the Catholic faith celebrate, and how those yearly rhythms undergird their understanding of the world, the gospel, and their faith itself. Seasons do the same thing for me, more so every year, as each season makes me think about gospel parallels. I also just read something about how during each sacrament meeting, we live a microcosm of the Easter Story by singing a hymn and solemnly commemorating Christ's death and burial, then hearing His voice again through words and songs, and being grateful anew as our fellow saints bear testimony that He is risen! So maybe this is what Elder Gong was getting at too. All these cycles, along with our personal cycles of of sorrow and joy and faith and struggle, keep leading us closer to the fulness God has in store for us.

And then dear President Nelson. He still does not look old at all. I love his happy face and his enthusiastic voice. I will need to study his talk but I am so intrigued by the connection of virtue, charity and confidence. I love the reminder to take intentional steps to grow in confidence and get closer to God. I loved his earnest and heartfelt assurance that God is urging him and prompting him to tell us to prepare for the Second Coming of Christ! 

Other posts in this series:

Covenant Confidence—by Jan

Bunny hill, Our sisters, Prom

You know it is getting along toward Spring when you see bunnies out hopping on the hill! Or at least one bunny. Accompanied by a passel of barefoot children. Look at that lovely rainbow-shaped hop! Nutmeg may be ten years old, but he still has a bounce in his step when the occasion calls for it!

Phoenix trip with Junie

Every once in a while I see really cheap plane tickets to Phoenix, and my first thought is, "We could go visit my brother Kenneth!" And my second thought is, "We could have those fish tacos again." I don't know what it was about that taco place we tried in Phoenix several years ago. Maybe just that it was really hot and the lemonade slushies tasted so good? Or that I am already predisposed to like fish tacos, so if they're above average I like them disproportionately? But I remember them with a fond sigh every time I think of Phoenix.

At any rate, plane tickets to Phoenix were $38 (!!), Junie had been complaining nonstop (hee hee, not really, but she had mentioned it several times) about how she was the ONLY one of the children who hadn't ever been on a plane [besides Goldie, but Junie never admits that, because I went to Russia when I was pregnant with Goldie and Junie says that counts]—and Kenneth and Sheila said we could stay at their house, so—we went!

It was really sweet how Goldie and Daisy reacted when I told them we were going to take Junie on a tiny trip. They could have been envious or resentful or annoyed. But they were only thrilled and excited. Daisy immediately started planning out how we could keep it a total surprise. She and Goldie would pack Junie's suitcase secretly while Junie was babysitting another family. And we'd load it in the car before she got home. And then the night of the trip we would tell Junie we were going to get ice cream and ask if she and Sebastian wanted to come. And then Daisy would ask if she could come, and act really disappointed when we said no. And then Seb would take us to the airport instead of the ice cream store. It was all surprisingly devious and it went like clockwork! When we got to the airport Junie was so surprised and confused. Even as we handed her her backpack and started walking in, she was saying, "Is the ice cream store in the airport?" It was late at night, she was wearing Goldie's shoes (ha! We didn't plan for her grabbing the wrong shoes as we went out the door!), and she said it felt like she was in the strangest dream.