It is so easy to love those who are active and responsive and sometimes so difficult to do the same for those who are inactive and rebellious.…And then from Elder Maxwell:
[But] to be successful as a teacher of youth, one must truly love each of them regardless of his activity. Without sincere love, one can hardly qualify as a leader…
Remember the Lord’s hand is in this work. He can bring about those circumstances in which such souls are “in a preparation to hear the word.” His Spirit can prod the prodigals—some of whom will come to their senses. And as that happens, however, let us run to greet them while they are “yet a great way off.”This feels to me like a principle that I need to better apply as a parent. I've been thinking about these questions:
How can I find ways to love my children even in the moments they are most difficult to love?
Knowing they have to make their own choices and they do not always choose well—how can I still "run to them" while they are "yet a great way off"?
Other posts in this series:
I can tell you how I've done it. We have three sons who've chosen to try the world's ways. The oldest of the three would stay away from home, not visiting us for long periods. He was afraid of what I would think of his new tattoo, or new piercing. I finally had to tell him, "Joe, I love you no matter what you do. I don't love what you do, but I LOVE YOU! Please don't be afraid of coming home." When we would see him I'd wrap my arms around him and remind him of how much I love him. We drove long distances to be with him on his special days and at his activities. He's a mechanic so we ask him for advice and ideas about what might be wrong with our vehicles. It's not easy to see those we love depart from the gospel path, but continuing to extend love while still reminding them of the teachings of their youth, has helped our family stay close. I continue to have hope that the Lord will bring into their lives someone who will connect with them in a way that will lead them back.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great example! I love this! I think a lot about you and your boys, and it's always so hopeful to me to see the way you continue to love and encourage them. They are so lucky to have you!
DeleteI have 5 who are often rebellious and unlovely and who actively work to be unlovable. They are often a great way off--mentally, emotionally, spiritually--and I cannot describe how hard it is to get up and go to meet them where they are. I fail quite often. But as my 7 yo "Brother" wrote in the psychiatrist's office this week, "I am sooreey. Im trying."
ReplyDeleteThere are so many hard things about your situation. But that little glimpse of effort and hope from your boy makes me feel like crying. That "trying" is what Heavenly Father asks of any of us, I think.
DeleteI love that Maxwell quote and I feel its truth often -- that He knows when and how and where He can touch hearts and that He isn't just abandoning any of our loved ones ever. But yes! It is so easy to love the ones being . . . loveable! Ha! I need this reminder to press on in love and patience with those who are acting quite the opposite.
ReplyDeleteI also recently read this article, which seems applicable. It makes such a good point about how loving those who are hard to love may be the MOST important part of Christianity. https://www.nationalreview.com/2018/12/christmas-truths-and-choices/
Delete