Household Duties (part III)

Who is this handsome man? I'm still figuring that out myself. These lists are really just my way of naming him, you know. Give me another 50 years and I'll have a portrait that begins to approach all he really is. For now, in honor of his birthday, enjoy installment #3 of Sam's Household Duties:

• Marvelling at the various visual effects produced by polarized sunglasses
• Surprising me from time to time by using phrases such as "Troll lore"
• Unerringly leading the way out of movie theatres
• Trying not to read the comments on articles, reading them, and then being mad
• Saying "I'll go deal with it" when I say "I hear someone out of bed"
• Editing for clarity
• Editing for brevity
• Making guacamole
• Knowing what day it is
• Engaging in mutually enjoyable ranting ("It's so satisfying to rant with someone who agrees with you!")
• Patiently answering the question, "What other movies is this guy in?"
• Going home from church to get things I forgot
• Holding people on slides

• Finding my glasses
• Finding my phone
• Putting bacon on the pan for baking (first separating the pieces with a butter knife)
• Choosing the kind of popcorn
• Scooping people up
• Squeegeeing the shower doors
• Running the garbage cans out to the street (overcoat flapping)
• Pronouncing the name of the company Wacom as "walk'um" (which is correct, apparently, but not good)

• Speaking for babies
• Regarding haircuts: believing, with touching naïveté, that "it doesn't have to be now" means "it will be sometime soon" rather than "it won't be for another three weeks"
• Throwing out moldy things
• Periodically becoming fed up with all the papers on the computer desk
• Getting the mail
• Lovingly saving up and presenting me with stacks of junk mail
• Making milkshakes
• Researching/wanting the latest cameras and lenses
• Telling me to "go with my instincts" when I'm about to take food out of the oven
• Carrying sleeping children
• Doing the voice of that guy in the seminary movie: "This-here pump works just fine!"
• Remembering the correct spelling of avocado
• Keeping abreast of current astronomical events (e.g., eclipses, meteor showers)
• Knowing what that star/planet is, when asked
• Approving of cute baby clothes purchases
• Approving of new shoes
• Assuring me I didn't look stupid when I tripped/stumbled/fell