This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Welfare Session of the October 1981 Conference.
Elder Marvin J. Ashton had great advice for ministering brothers and sisters:
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.” You can’t feed them if you don’t know where they are. You can’t feed them if you give them reason to resist you. You can’t feed them if you don’t have the food. You can’t feed them if you don’t have charity. You can’t feed them if you aren’t willing to work and share.
Wherever these lost sheep may be, a necessary ingredient for helping is empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand someone else’s feelings and to feel what he feels. Meaningful help can never be given without empathy for the recipient. This requires gaining the confidence of the person; listening with eyes, ears, and heart; trying to comprehend how this person feels; and then letting him know by your personal performance that you really understand. One who really understands and practices empathy doesn’t solve another’s problems, doesn’t argue, doesn’t top his story, make accusations, or take away free agency. He merely helps the person build his self-reliance and self-image so he can try to find his own solutions.I really liked Sister Barbara B. Smith's talk "A Safe Place for Marriage and Families." She had a lot of good things to say about making our homes places of work and service and love.
Sometimes I think to myself (exasperatedly), "I'm serving other people all day long…whether I like it or not!" But this reminded me that when I do it grudgingly, it's not really even service:
Work becomes service when it is given gladly, often unsolicited, and for the purpose of filling another’s need. I know that service should be learned in a home. And I am very certain that it blesses the home where it is found.It makes me wonder how I can make more of my daily work into service.
More about work in the home:
There is no better way to prepare family members for service in the Church, or in the world of work, and, most importantly, in their relationships with our Father in Heaven than to be accountable in meaningful responsibilities.It is sometimes so tiring to try to get the children to accept their responsibilities, and to be accountable. But there is "no better way to prepare" them for life! That is motivating.
And this next part made me want to do better at expressing appreciation to Sam for all he does for us. He works so hard! All the time! And I DO appreciate it, but do I (and the kids) tell him that often enough? I think we could do a lot better:
It is sometimes the case that a husband or father fails to be honored for the work he does. Because he is gone from the home and the family does not see him at his work, they may not acknowledge the full significance of his contribution. …The wages earned by a man are necessary, but his family’s pride in his work is often more valued by him.
Other posts in this series:
- When Willingness Is Not Enough: Developing Christlike Awareness by Nathaniel Givens
- Integrity is a Universal Talent by G
- Marriages, Families, and Safe Places by Jan Tolman
"It is sometimes so tiring to try to get the children to accept their responsibilities, and to be accountable. But there is "no better way to prepare" them for life! That is motivating." While we are in the midst of it all, it is tiring and we don't see much fruit from our labors. But keep up the good work, never give up, and eventually you will see the fruit! I promise!! The son I always thought was the most lazy of our five is now the hardest working. He is truly astounding! They all thank me for teaching them to work, to know how to take care of a home, and how to learn. Parental paydays seem few and far between when children are young, but they are so sweet and joyful when they are successful adults. You are on the right track, just keep moving forward.
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