To lay down your life, even an hour at a time

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 1996 Conference.

There were lots of good talks in this session! One by Elder Cook, who had just been called to be a Seventy. It was interesting to realize that even though I felt like I'd never heard of him before his call to the Twelve, here he was serving and sacrificing, all these years before I even noticed him or knew he existed. There are so many people doing that—all over the world. Not just future apostles, obviously, but faithful men and women I never WILL hear of. Interesting to think about.

President Nelson also gave a great talk on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and Elder Bruce C. Hafen talked about Covenant Marriage. He mentioned something that I think became a theme of his—he wrote a whole book about it later with his wife—which is this:

Christ’s life is the story of giving the Atonement. The life of Adam and Eve is the story of receiving the Atonement, which empowered them to overcome their separation from God and all opposition until they were eternally “at one,” with the Lord, and with each other.

I love that idea as it relates to the temple—it has helped me see Jesus Christ in the temple ceremonies much more clearly.

Elder Hafen also used the image of "laying down our lives, a day at a time, for the sheep of our covenant" which really resonated with me. He tells a cute story about his wife helping one of their children (the child about whom she'd earlier said, “The Lord gave us that child to make Christians out of us"—haha—such a relatable sentiment!):

One night Marie exhausted herself for hours encouraging that child to finish a school assignment to build his own diorama of a Native American village on a cookie sheet. It was a test no hireling would have endured. At first he fought her efforts, but by bedtime, I saw him lay “his” diorama proudly on a counter. He started for his bed, then turned around, raced back across the room, and hugged his mother, grinning with his fourth-grade teeth. Later I asked Marie in complete awe, “How did you do it?” She said, “I just made up my mind that I couldn’t leave him, no matter what.” Then she added, “I didn’t know I had it in me.” She discovered deep, internal wellsprings of compassion because the bonds of her covenants gave her strength to lay down her life for her sheep, even an hour at a time.

Of course we know that a good shepherd will "lay down his life for his sheep." But laying down your life "one hour at a time" is such a big commitment—or rather, it requires such constant commitment. It does take great strength! You have to choose to give and love and sacrifice again and again! It's such an apt description of a parent's attempt to love his or her children as the Savior would love them. 

It's both daunting and reassuring to know that these constant, hour-to-hour efforts are the only way to truly lead our children into the fold of God. And I, too, have said to myself after a particularly long hard stretch of "laying down" my own pride or expectations or inclinations—"I didn't know I had it in me." (That's usually after I've first said, "I DON'T have it in me"—but then I've just kept trying because…that's what parents do.)

Elder Eyring continued on that same theme when he told about some Home Teachers who kept up their efforts for years upon years. Elder Eyring met the recipient of their attention on a plane:

He told, with a touch of exasperation, of another night when he came home from a long business trip, put his car in the garage, and then came out to find his home teachers standing there, smiling. He said to me something like, “And there they were, right in my face, with another plate of cookies.”

That made me laugh, because it's exactly what I'm afraid of—being an annoyance to the people I'm trying to serve. But as a parent or a friend, I have to remember why I keep trying even when I feel awkward or annoying or unwanted. It's because of my covenant relationship with Christ—my love for Him, and His for me. I feel that more and more.

Elder Eyring goes on:

Such work is an opportunity, not a burden. Every member has made the covenant in the waters of baptism to be a witness for God. Every member has made a covenant to do works of kindness as the Savior would do. So any call to bear witness and to care for others is not a request for extra service; it is a blessing designed by a loving Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ.

It's such a good perspective—and a true one. Last week I had a few days in a row where I was constantly busy doing things other people needed. That's not unusual in a big family, of course, but this stretch was particularly noticeable because I had a bunch of other things I really wanted to get done—also for other people, but things that had been nagging at me for some time and I'd really been wanting to check off my list, and I couldn't do them because of the constant stream of more urgent needs. I felt so frustrated, because I'd been so busy but not accomplished anything I wanted to! 

Anyway, at the end of one of these days I had a prompting to write down everything I'd done that day. It was a huge list, and it struck me that every item on it was something I'd done to serve someone else. And my perspective suddenly shifted as I thought how grateful I was to have such endless opportunities to serve. I really felt it—not that I became instantly unselfish, but I just reflected on the fact that I really do want to be a better person. And what better way to become one than to serve God's children? 

I thought, "What ELSE could I have been doing that would have brought such fulfillment? What other kind of life would I even want?" It made me feel so thankful for motherhood and the built-in service that comes with it. It really does require giving your life hour by hour…sometimes all of the hours…but it brings such deepened love and growth in return. In that moment of reflection, like Elder Eyring said, the work felt like "an opportunity, not a burden…a blessing designed by a loving Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ."