This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the April 2001 Conference.
We've been talking about shepherds and hirelings in Home Church for the last few weeks, so I have lots of thoughts tumbling around in my head about them. Then I read Elder Eyring's talk and it brought out some of those thoughts even more. To me, this was a Motherhood talk…even though it's really a Priesthood talk. Of all the "sheep" in my care, my own little family lambs are the dearest and the most difficult!
Elder Eyring says,
The Savior warns us that we must watch the sheep as He does. He gave His life for them. They are His. We cannot approach His standard if, like a hired servant, we watch only when it is convenient and only for a reward.
I've thought so much about this. Of course a mother would never see herself as a "hireling" watching over her children! We love them so much! But I was thinking about owning a business versus being employed at one. A employee is annoyed when she has to stay late. She leaves quickly the moment her shift is over. She would rather not do the dirty, thankless jobs, and she would certainly prefer free time over going to work at all!
But a business owner wants to go early and stay late, if it will help the business. She does whatever she must to help it succeed. When the work is hard or time-consuming, she accepts it willingly, knowing that her own fortunes are tied to that work. She rejoices when the days are busy and full of customers, even grumpy customers, because she knows that her business's success depends on them.
Even though I'd like to think I'm a shepherd and not a hireling, I have to admit as a mother that sometimes a "hireling" mindset creeps in for me. It's when I resent all the work I have to do, or feel ill-used because I don't have enough time for myself, or get discouraged because it seems like I will never get back the love I put in. All those things make me feel like ME and MY FAMILY are separate (sometimes competing!) entities. But that mindset is the exactly wrong. At my best, I realize that my family IS "my work and my glory." If I own that fact and take pride in it, I'm so much happier!
If I could give one piece of advice about motherhood and homemaking to my girls, it is that they give themselves wholly to it. I know there are so many different family situations, and not all mothers can be full-time in their homes. But like any work, homemaking is much more fulfilling when we take the time to get good at it—when we take pride in it and ownership of it. If we see the work we do in our homes as temporary and temporal, if we feel like "hirelings" there, we can neither love fully nor feel fully loved! I fear that too many women inadvertently end up in that place—unsatisfied and frustrated because they don't see "homemaking" as a "real job" at all, let alone a vocation worthy of sustained effort, practice, consideration, and improvement.
Likewise, I think motherhood is infinitely more satisfying when we see it as not a temporary job, but an eternal one, a role of effort and vocation that is bound up with our very souls and which will bless us as much as it will bless the "sheep" we care for. When I am discouraged with what (I am sorry to say) seems a rather paltry return on my motherhood investment, I have to remind myself what a disappointing prospect I must seem compared to the price Jesus paid for me! And yet he continues to pour effort into me! "The shepherd does not recoil from the scabs of the sheep"! The Good Shepherd has compassion for me. He invests everything in me. And He continues to see my potential when I seem least likely to live up to it. Can I be that kind of shepherd to my children? I want to. Elder Eyring thinks I can!:
It is love that must motivate the shepherds of Israel. That may seem difficult at the start, because we may not even know the Lord well. But if we begin with even a little grain of faith in Him, our service to the sheep will increase our love for Him and for them. It comes from simple things that every shepherd must do. We pray for the sheep, every one for whom we are responsible. When we ask, “Please tell me who needs me,” answers will come. A face or a name will come into our minds.…In those moments, we will feel the love of the Savior for them and for us. As you watch over His sheep, your love for Him will grow. And that will increase your confidence and your courage.Now, you may be thinking: It’s not that easy for me. I have so many people to watch over. And I have so little time. But where the Lord calls He prepares a way, His way.
When I feel overwhelmed with the tasks ahead, I have to remind myself that there is another, better Shepherd who loves my children even more than I do. And I have to remember that He's the one in charge. I am, actually, a sort of hireling for now—but He's training me to be someone better, to be something more. To be the kind of eternal Shepherd He already is.
Other posts in this series:
"You Can't Pet a Rattlesnake"—by Rozy
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