This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 2005 Conference.
Elder Ballard gave a great talk about families in this conference session. He gave this warning about destructive attitudes of the day, and this has only gotten worse in the years since:
Rampant materialism and selfishness delude many into thinking that families, and especially children, are a burden and a financial millstone that will hold them back rather than a sacred privilege that will teach them to become more like God.
A friend and I were talking the other day about the blessings that come with having a large family, and laughing a little about how hard those blessings are to describe to young people just starting out. Even as you speak them you can hear how weak and pathetic they must sound to someone who doesn't see what you see. "Well…yes…it's true you likely won't be able to do a lot of travel or trips to Disneyland. Or pay for all your children's college tuition. Or have very nice cars…or very nice anything. And it's true you will often be scrambling to find even a tiny bit of time for your own spiritual development…and you'll wish for more hours in the day…and you'll feel overwhelmed much of the time…and you'll be constantly tired."
Most young couples' eyes glaze over and you've lost them by that point! And who knows if they even comprehend what you want to say next: "But…but…if I could just make you understand—it's worth it. Every single sacrifice—everything you can't do, everything you have to do and wish you didn't, everything you look wistfully at other people doing—it's all swallowed up and brought to insignificance by the joys and growth and fullness you do receive!"
It is discouraging, because I wonder how such knowledge can possibly be passed on in a culture where the values and expectations depart so wildly from God's values! Yet through experience, little by little, somehow we can come to gain a testimony of these counterintuitive truths. Elder Ballard says:
And yet most parents throughout the world continue to know both the importance and the joy that are attached to natural families.
Yes. We learn it as we go. And we can also learn it by having faith in prophets who tell it to us. Elder Ballard quotes Joseph F. Smith saying:
“There can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home, and every effort made to sanctify and preserve its influence is uplifting to those who toil and sacrifice for its establishment. Men and women often seek to substitute some other life for that of the home; they would make themselves believe that the home means restraint; that the highest liberty is the fullest opportunity to move about at will. There is no happiness without service, and there is no service greater than that which converts the home into a divine institution, and which promotes and preserves family life.”
I have gained, and am still gaining, a testimony of this principle: no happiness without service, and no service greater than in the home. It's not self-evident. But it's true. And this "sacred privilege" which God has given us, of being tied to others in family relationships, will truly be our best chance to become like Him.
Other posts in this series:
Start early and be steady—by Rozy
This is so good. And I felt this so personally last fall when I was just feeling so overwhelmed one night by all the duties and responsibilities of being a mom and trying to serve in the church and on and on. I'm sure I've already told you, but I was just sort of thinking, "But how can there be any real joy or rest in the Celestial Kingdom if there is work ... forever". Hahah. I knew I was being dramatic. But still, my answer came quite clearly and so similar to so much from the quotes you shared above -- simply that there was no true or full joy without serving God and his children. And it's interesting, especially during some of those years when it seemed EVERYONE was little and needing help with every basic need at all times, how often I did just feel missing out on or failing because I couldn't devote time to, not just frivolous fun, but to even spiritual practices, etc. But now, while I am still in the thick of it, but having some small bit of at least their physical needs slightly lighter, I am starting to see more clearly what you quoted right at the start -- that in all this stress and work -- I have been growing and learning and becoming more like God than I have often even remotely recognized.
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