Lodged in Your Heart

Quickly, before the Christmas Season is over, the time has come to post this long-awaited third movie in the trilogy of Hallmark-esque films the girls made in Quebec! This makes us all homesick. Oh, to be ice skating in Place D'Youville again!

Will Holly find Christmas love at the Lodge? Watch and find out! (If you can hear it. The sound quality isn't very good in this one!)

Youtube link: https://youtu.be/D4zsPVygNUc

See the first two movies here:

Apple Cider at Fall times

Off the Field and Onto the Floor

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Consistent care for each other

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the April 2012 Conference.

This week I liked President Eyring's talk about priesthood service in the family. I've (obviously) thought a lot about why so much of life is dedicated to these small circles of people, our families. We spend so much time, patience, effort on so relatively few people—and our work with them is still never really done! I'm sure this mirrors eternal principles about how much time it takes for a child of God to become like God. It's not quick or easy or temporary. It's a lifetime's work. An eternity's work, even. Anyway, I like how President Eyring describes it as "the part of Israel for which we are responsible":

[For all of us with priesthood responsibility], a great work ahead is to lead in saving the part of Israel for which we are or will be responsible: our families.

Then he quotes President Benson:

In an eternal sense, salvation is a family affair. …

Above all else, children need to know and feel they are loved, wanted, and appreciated. They need to be assured of that often. Obviously, this is a role parents should fill, and most often the mother can do it best.

Elder Eyring continues:

But another crucial source for that feeling of being loved is love from other children in the family. Consistent care of brothers and sisters for each other will come only with persistent effort by parents and the help of God.

Ha! Persistent effort. That is…an understatement. I often wonder if such "consistent care of brothers and sisters for each other" is possible at all, no matter how persistent the effort by parents! Not that I never see my children caring for each other. I do. But for all of them to care for all the others, consistently, feels like a very lofty goal. President Eyring suggests that one way to do it is to

Give children opportunities to pray, when they can pray, for each other in the circle who need blessings. Discern quickly the beginnings of discord and recognize acts of unselfish service, especially to each other. When they pray for each other and serve each other, hearts will be softened and turned to each other and to their parents.

There are good ideas here; several things I want to work on in my own family. And President Eyring gives this encouraging promise:

You will succeed through your faith …with the Lord’s help in turning the hearts of your children to each other and to their parents, and with love guiding you to correct and exhort in a way that invites the Spirit.

Other posts in this series:

Priesthood Power—by Rozy 

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A happy way to live

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the April 2012 Conference.

I love, have always loved, Elder Holland's talk about the laborers in the Lord's Vineyard, but I'd forgotten the specifics. This is what I wish more than anything I could get my children to believe (especially with Christmas coming up):

May I plead with us not to be hurt—and certainly not to feel envious—when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blessed. …So be kind, and be grateful that God is kind. It is a happy way to live.

God is so good, so generous, so kind! I see His blessings in my life every day. I love this reminder:

My beloved brothers and sisters, what happened in this story at 9:00 or noon or 3:00 is swept up in the grandeur of the universally generous payment at the end of the day. The formula of faith is to hold on, work on, see it through, and let the distress of earlier hours—real or imagined—fall away in the abundance of the final reward.

My life is crowded with that abundance even now, if I have the patience to look for it.

Merry Christmas!

Other posts in this series:

Faith and fortitude—by Rozy

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50-miler, Red Monkey, Ronald Mcdonald house

 

Malachi came into my room one day last month and informed me that he was going to walk 50 miles in a day, from Saratoga Springs to Centerville, with his friend Jonas. I asked (as everyone who's heard about it since has asked), WHY he wanted to do such a thing! How about 20 miles?, I countered. Or even 26.2? But he was set on 50. At the risk of not doing justice to his complex and personal reasons, I think it had to do with him wanting to do something hard, truly hard, before his mission—just so he would know he could. I actually relate to that. It's the same reason I wanted to run 16 miles on my 16th birthday. Just to know I could, just to say I had, I don't know. Our souls feel the need. :)

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Thanksgiving, the aftermath and foremath

The house always gets worse before it gets better the week before Thanksgiving! Look at dear Teddy…head stuck in the fridge. He was so diligent and cleaned the whole thing by himself! Even took off the freezer door so we could reach all the cracks and crevices. The finished product was a thing of beauty!

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I didn't forget Goldie! Hooray!

Do you remember how a few years ago I was apologizing for not having any first-day-of-kindergarten pictures for poor dear Goldie? How I had decided we would have to make do with second grade? Well…it wasn't true! I DID take first day of kindergarten pictures of her, loads of them! I was looking at old memory cards, and I found a bunch of pictures I had never downloaded! And there she was, cute as a button. September 4th, 2018. It doesn't seem so long ago!

So here she is, the cutest Goldielocks in the world, all dressed up for her first day of kindergarten!

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I had to do it. So I did.

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the April 2012 Conference.

This week, I've been thinking about something from Elder Eyring's talk. The talk is called "Mountains to Climb" and it's actually one I have a few different questions about…but one of them comes from this story of a woman Elder Eyring admired:

I was stunned to learn that [she] had forgiven a person who had wronged her for years. I was surprised and asked her why she had chosen to forgive and forget so many years of spiteful abuse.

She said quietly, “It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I just knew I had to do it. So I did.”

My first thought on hearing this is to be impressed with, as Elder Eyring was, the faith of that woman. My second thought is to consider all the myriad of things that, like that woman, I "just know I have to do" but that I still haven't done. I tell myself (somewhat correctly, I think), "It's okay. These things take time. Improvement takes time. Give yourself time." But I wonder…does saying that show faith? Or a lack of faith? What if I "give myself" so much time that I run out of time? Should I be patiently saying "I'll trust God to help give me the gift of forgiveness in His own time" or should I be urgently praying and working and trying not to be satisfied with my current state? I know the answer is probably "both" but that makes it tricky to know how to improve. 

Elder Eyring does say—somewhat confusingly, I think, after saying "That is why I was unwise to pray so soon in my life for higher mountains to climb and greater tests"—as if just not praying for those things means you won't have them—but anyway, he says, 

I cannot promise an end to your adversity in this life. I cannot assure you that your trials will seem to you to be only for a moment. One of the characteristics of trials in life is that they seem to make clocks slow down and then appear almost to stop.

There are reasons for that. Knowing those reasons may not give much comfort, but it can give you a feeling of patience.…

My mother fought cancer for nearly 10 years. Treatments and surgeries and finally confinement to her bed were some of her trials. …I remember at the time thinking, “If a woman that good needed that much polishing, what is ahead for me?”

If "falling short of what I should be doing" counts as a trial…then this implies that state may last much longer than we wish! And it implies that all of us, no matter how good our intentions, need "polishing" to the very end, and therefore have to be patient with the process!

Maybe the connecting thread between the first woman who forgave because she "just knew she had to," and President Eyring's mother who was so good but also needed "polishing" to the very end—is just that both of them patiently kept turning back to God. They were, I don't know, let's call it "patiently persistent." The first woman actually didn't say how long it took her to "just forgive." Maybe it DID take a long time. But she knew she had to do it so she KEPT trying to do it until she succeeded. And President Eyring's mother, who he says "suffered so long and so much," had to KEEP learning new heights of faith and patience all through the ten years before she died. Being patient with our shortcomings is good. Being persistent at overcoming our faults is good too. Doing both allows us to move (which we couldn't if we didn't persist) joyfully (which we couldn't if we ONLY focused on our shortcomings) along the covenant path. And that's why Elder Eyring can say with confidence:

If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing. In all conditions, we can choose the right with the guidance of the Spirit.…We never need to feel that we are alone or unloved in the Lord’s service because we never are. We can feel the love of God. The Savior has promised angels on our left and our right to bear us up. And He always keeps His word.

(And for a much more eloquent treatment of this balance, which was helping influence my thoughts as I wrote this post, read Elder Matthew Holland's talk from the most recent conference! It's so good!)

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Never inconsequential to the Lord

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Relief Society Session of the October 2011 Conference. 

I love Sister Julie B. Beck! I didn't realize how much of a favorite she was for me until re-reading these conferences. She always has such good things to say! I loved this insight about women in the early restored church:

The great growth of the early Church was made possible because faithful men were willing to leave their families to travel to unknown places and suffer privations and hardship to teach the gospel. However, these men understood that their missions would not have been possible without the full faith and partnership of the women in their lives, who sustained homes and businesses and earned income for their families and the missionaries. The sisters also cared for the thousands of converts who gathered in their communities. They were deeply committed to a new way of life, helping build the Lord’s kingdom and participating in His work of salvation.

Of course I've thought a lot about the sacrifices women made as they let their husbands go off on missions and shouldered the burdens of their families at home. But I hadn't thought about the fact that they had to be there at home so there would be a place to welcome in the ones being gathered. It made me ask for the first time "Gathering…to what?" Obviously there has to be a place to gather scattered Israel to. I guess it's technically "the church" or "God's kingdom," but what kind of a place IS that? Is it a place that feels like home? Is it a place people would want to be gathered into? A place they'd like to stay? If it isn't, what's the point of gathering in the first place? (I guess being gathered to God is the real point. And HE always feels like home. Still, I think as a church we could either reflect or obscure what God Himself feels like, depending on how we treat each other.) Anyway, I like the thought that some people have to go out and find and gather Israel…and some people have to stay back and make a welcoming place for them to gather to! It's kind of like that Boyd K. Packer quote that "the end of all activity in the Church is to see that a man and a woman with their children are happy at home, sealed together for time and for all eternity." Just herding Israel around from one place to another like sheep isn't the point at all. The point is to gather God's lost children from where they are into something better—and WE have to be the thing that makes it better. The point is to bring them home—and we have to be the home. I think that's so interesting!

I also really loved this:

The kind of work the sisters of this Church are asked to do in our day has never been too modest in scope or inconsequential to the Lord. Through their faithfulness, they can feel His approval and be blessed with the companionship of His Spirit.

I think I could never hear this too much—that my work is not inconsequential. I know it isn't and yet it just feels SO much like it is, from day to day! But I can see evidence of God's approval when I feel His Spirit. As Elder Eyring said a couple years ago, "If you have felt the influence of the Holy Ghost today, you may take it as a sweet evidence that the Atonement is working in your life."

One more thing that struck me was the kindness and generosity with which Sister Beck talked about the Visiting Teaching program (which was still in existence at this time, but was making some changes): 

Throughout the years, Relief Society sisters and leaders have learned one step at a time and have improved in their ability to watch over others. There have been times when sisters have focused more on completing visits, teaching lessons, and leaving notices when they have stopped by their sisters’ homes. These practices have helped sisters learn patterns of watchcare. Just as people in the time of Moses concentrated on keeping long lists of rules, the sisters of Relief Society have at times imposed many written and unwritten rules upon themselves in their desire to understand how to strengthen one another.

With so much need for relief and rescue in the lives of sisters and their families today, our Heavenly Father needs us to follow a higher path and demonstrate our discipleship by sincerely caring for His children.

I think I just liked the acknowledgement that ALL the programs of the church, and all their different iterations and emphases, have been helpful and good for their times. Sometimes I feel bad about how people talk about visiting teaching like it was this outdated Pharisaical thing that we've grown so far past in our current enlightened state. And yes. We have been asked to be higher and holier. But all the things we've done in the past HAVE been important and served important purposes! They weren't just wasted. They helped us learn! They taught us patterns! They formed habits! Sometimes I think the younger women who were never around for Visiting Teaching missed out on some lessons I'm grateful I learned—lessons about consistency, accountability, face to face interaction, pushing through discomfort, speaking together of sacred things, etc. Ministering obviously can, and maybe should, still include those things, but since they aren't overtly mentioned, it's easy to forget them. And Sister Beck says that even the "unwritten rules" we "impose on ourselves" might have served good purposes at certain times. I like that view of the past—the generous view rather than "Everyone was only going through the motions back in the bad old days!" I like it because it gives me hope that all the things we try to do in the church now, all our imperfect and clumsy attempts at figuring out how to best help and serve and love each other—even if these attempts end up needing correction and change later on—still serve important purposes. They are not inconsequential. They still help us "learn one step at a time." They still advance us along the path towards God.

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Merry Halloween

It's bad to put Halloween pictures up in December! Embarrassing, really! Yet here we are. Our number of trick-or-treaters are dwindling—this is Goldie's last year, and then there will be only 4 left!—but the older girls got given animal suits by some friends, so they at least had costumes to wear when they took the littles out. We did our usual firepit-and-hot-chocolate thing in the front yard, and had hordes and hordes of people come by. We went though 19 batches of crock-pot hot cocoa and over 350 cups!😱 

There's a fun excitement in the air in our neighborhood with so many families out and kids trick-or-treating…I like it. And it was warm and nice! We didn't even need jackets till after dark! So good for Halloween!

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After the workings of the Spirit

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 2011 Conference.

I really liked Elder Matthew O. Richardson's talk about teaching. As I read it I was thinking about how much my teaching methods and preparation has changed over the years. I think I have always fancied myself a pretty good teacher. I used to prepare such great (I thought) Young Women's lessons for my Laurel Class! And they participated so well and were so appreciative! It was a joy to teach them. But teaching my own children as they got older was…not at all the same. Ha! Some of them were NOT appreciative (quite the opposite) and did NOT participate. And lesson prep for Home Church had to be so different because it was every week, on top of whatever else was going on for church, so my mindset and processes had to change, and they have basically kept changing ever since! I have definitely struggled with this balance:

While we are all teachers, we must fully realize that it is the Holy Ghost who is the real teacher and witness of all truth. Those who do not fully understand this either try to take over for the Holy Ghost and do everything themselves, politely invite the Spirit to be with them but only in a supporting role, or believe they are turning all their teaching over to the Spirit when, in truth, they are actually just “winging it.”

And I've seen more and more how essential it is to remember this:

Those who teach after the manner of the Spirit understand they teach people, not lessons. As such, they overcome the urge to cover everything in a manual or teach all they have learned on the subject and focus instead on those things that their family or class members need to know and do. Parents, leaders, and teachers who mirror how the Spirit teaches learn quickly that real teaching involves much more than just talking and telling. As a result, they intentionally pause to listen, carefully observe, and then discern what to do next. When they do this, the Holy Ghost is in a position to teach both learners and teachers what they should do and say.

I rarely feel like I do this very well in the moment—I'm always realizing later that I should have said (or not said) something, and when I'm teaching my own children there are sometimes so many logistical and managerial problems (to say nicely what I mean, which is that the kids fight and distract each other)—that I can barely string two thoughts together, let alone "carefully observing and discerning" anything! But Elder Richardson has an encouraging analogy at the end of his talk about climbing a mountain with his daughter, and he says this:

I think back on my experience hiking with my children. We agreed that every time we stopped to catch our breath, rather than focusing exclusively on how much farther we needed to go, we would immediately turn around and look down the mountain. We would take in the scenery and say to each other, “Look how far we’ve come.” Then we would take a deep breath, quickly turn, face uphill, and start climbing again one step at a time. Brothers and sisters, you can parent, lead, and teach after the manner of the workings of the Spirit. I know you can do this. I testify you can do this, and lives will change.

I like that, and it seems like a good idea—to resolve to focus on how far you've come rather than how far you have to go. I definitely have a long way to go with teaching like the Savior did, but I am certainly getting a lot of practice, so I guess that's worth something!

Other posts in this series:

The Song They Could Not Sing—by Rozy

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We arise and choose to wait upon the Lord

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 2011 Conference.

I loved Elder Robert D. Hales' talk about waiting on the Lord. That's a phrase that I've often wondered about, because when you are trying to get revelation about something, and it's not coming, there's no real way to know if you're, a.) asking the wrong questions, b.) not ready to understand the answers, c.) supposed to try harder and with more urgency, d.) supposed to "wait upon the Lord." And then what does it even mean to "wait upon the Lord"? Well, Elder Hales will tell us:

What, then, does it mean to wait upon the Lord? In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust. To hope and trust in the Lord requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long-suffering, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end.

To wait upon the Lord means planting the seed of faith and nourishing it “with great diligence, and … patience.”

It means praying as the Savior did—to God, our Heavenly Father—saying: “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.” It is a prayer we offer with our whole souls in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Waiting upon the Lord means pondering in our hearts and “receiv[ing] the Holy Ghost” so that we can know “all things what [we] should do.”

As we follow the promptings of the Spirit, we discover that “tribulation worketh patience,” and we learn to “continue in patience until [we] are perfected.”

Waiting upon the Lord means to “stand fast” and “press forward” in faith, “having a perfect brightness of hope.”

It means “relying alone upon the merits of Christ” and “with [His] grace assisting [us, saying]: Thy will be done, O Lord, and not ours.”

As we wait upon the Lord, we are “immovable in keeping the commandments,” knowing that we will “one day rest from all [our] afflictions.”

And we “cast not away … [our] confidence” that “all things wherewith [we] have been afflicted shall work together for [our] good.”

So basically…everything. "Waiting on the Lord" means we do everything. Have faith, stand fast, press forward, keep the commandments, pray, etc etc etc. Ha! It makes sense, but it's not as helpful as I would have liked. But this was:

Tests and trials are given to all of us. These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His Son. He already knows, and we have the opportunity to learn, that no matter how difficult our circumstances, “all these things shall [be for our] experience, and … [our] good.”

Does this mean we will always understand our challenges? Won’t all of us, sometime, have reason to ask, “O God, where art thou?” Yes! When a spouse dies, a companion will wonder. When financial hardship befalls a family, a father will ask. When children wander from the path, a mother and father will cry out in sorrow. Yes, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Then, in the dawn of our increased faith and understanding, we arise and choose to wait upon the Lord, saying, “Thy will be done.”

Somehow this made more sense to me. Waiting on the Lord is not just "doing everything." It's absorbing the trials and challenges that come to us, and being challenged by them (because that's what they're designed to do!)—and then, in our confused and shaken and perhaps wounded state, at that point choosing again to keep seeking God. I love how Elder Hales says "we arise and choose to wait upon the Lord" because I have been at that point and I know what it feels like. All the feelings that come first—the uncertainty, the fear, the discouragement, the exhaustion—are part of what comes next: our decision to stand up and move forward anyway. Of course, "moving forward" means continuing to do all the things we know we should do, but it also means holding on to our belief those things are working—that they matter—that they make a difference. And we believe that because we trust God. We trust him enough to wait for His promises to be fulfilled.

Other posts in this series:

The Book of Mormon—by Rozy

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Some nice November days

A few pictures from this beautiful November. I can't remember a nicer one! Even if we had to enjoy it while watching our car be towed away… We were able to get it fixed, though, which with a car this old is a blessing every time.

A meeting of the Baby Parker fan club. We love him!

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More effort than I thought I could

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the October 2011 Conference.

When I read through these General Conference Sessions there are always talks I love. And there are usually talks I find less compelling. And very rarely there is a talk I actually don't like for some reason—it confuses me, I'm put off by the tone, or whatever. But I don't know if I've ever quite felt like I felt about Elder Eyring's talk in this session. I like it. And I am inspired by it. But it also left me feeling…tired and discouraged. So much so that I wasn't going to write about it at all, not knowing quite HOW to. And of course I know if there is ever a problem with God's word, that problem is on MY end! But for whatever reason I keep coming back to this talk when I sit down to write. So here goes.

President Eyring talks about how priesthood holders (but I always equate that to any God-given responsibility, motherhood being the biggest for me) have been more prepared than they realize for whatever will be asked of them. He says:

Our Heavenly Father has been preparing us since we were taught at His knee in His kingdom before we were born. He is preparing us tonight. And He will continue to prepare us as long as we will let Him.

I like that image—being taught at our Father (and Mother)'s knees. And it's reassuring to think that even when we don't feel prepared or capable, God would never leave us incapable of what He asks of us. He has always known exactly what we need and has given it to us for our good. It's also reassuring to remember that our own inexperience and mistakes in no way negate this heavenly help:

[My priesthood leader] saw beyond the reality of who I was to the possibilities that lie inside someone who feels weak and simple enough to want the Lord’s help and to believe that it will come.…Don’t worry about how inexperienced you are or think you are, but think about what, with the Lord’s help, you can become.

Next, President Eyring gives two examples from his life of when older, more experienced priesthood holders worked longer and harder than their younger brethren. Here is one:

I was…the new commissioner of education for the Church. I knew that President Gordon B. Hinckley was staying somewhere in that same hotel on his separate assignment to Japan. I answered the ringing phone just after I had lain down on the bed to sleep, exhausted by having done all I thought I had the strength to do.

President Hinckley asked in his pleasant voice, “Why are you sleeping when I am here reading a manuscript that we have been asked to review?” So I got up and went to work, even though I knew that President Hinckley could give a better review of a manuscript than I could possibly do. But somehow he made me feel that he needed my help.

He tells these stories to show how tireless and selfless these amazing leaders had learned to be, and I do see that! I'm amazed by it. You can tell President Eyring has spent years analyzing the lives and habits of the prophets he was so fortunate to work with, and it has paid off in his becoming just like them! I see this SO much in who he is today. Still going. Still working. His wife gone. But still giving when I would probably have stopped to rest and give up long ago.

Great teachers have shown me how to prepare to keep the oath and covenant when time and age will make it harder. They have shown and taught me how to discipline myself to work harder than I thought I could while I still have health and strength.

But here is the part that left me tired: "work harder than I thought I could." He says it more than once:

Great priesthood trainers have shown me how to build that strength: it is to form a habit of pushing on through the fatigue and fear that might make you think of quitting. The Lord’s great mentors have shown me that spiritual staying power comes from working past the point when others would have taken a rest.…

I can’t be a perfect servant every hour, but I can try to give more effort than I thought I could. With that habit formed early on, I will be prepared for trials later.

I guess that just worries me, because if your standard is "always do more than I think I can do," how then do you ever know if you’ve done enough?? You could always give more. And his stories make it sound like the prophets basically never rested. (He also tells a story about President Kimball collapsing [or falling asleep? it is unclear] in a meeting, and having to be carried out in his chair by members of the Twelve, and then weakly chiding them for leaving the meeting and sending them back to work!) I know the Doctrine and Covenants talks about how we should "waste and wear out our lives" in service, and the prophets and the Twelve Apostles literally do this, but I guess I hadn't quite applied it to myself yet and now that I think of it, it scares me!

It's not that I don't want to give my life in God's service. I actually do want that very much, because I want to become like He is. BUT, I think I just hoped it would become easier as I went along; that even though I struggle and feel inadequate now, I would grow enough in experience and wisdom over time that someday I would feel mostly joy and hope and confidence. But no, apparently not:

We are being prepared for priesthood service that will become more challenging with time. For instance, our muscles and our brains age as we do. Our capacity to learn and remember what we have read will diminish. To give the priesthood service the Lord expects of us will take more and more self-discipline every day of our lives.

!!! More and more? That's not reassuring at ALL! It's overwhelming, in fact. What is the point of all that preparation he was talking about earlier if you're just going to keep having challenges you feel unprepared for? What is the point of doing all you can do if you're just going to still feel inadequate because you didn't somehow do more than you could do? How can you ever go to sleep at night feeling satisfied if all you can think is, "Well, President Oaks probably isn't sleeping right now, and I shouldn't be either." It's too much!

Ha, I know that's a bit of an exaggeration. And I know we aren't literally supposed to drive ourselves to the point of collapse (and very few people are in danger of doing that, probably me least of all). I assume there are a lot more of us doing too little who need stirring calls to do more, than there are people doing too much in God's service who need to be reined in. So I don't actually think there is anything wrong with this talk. But it was sobering to me. And daunting. Am I really prepared to give my whole life to God? To keep giving to the very end? I would like to answer yes, but I think realistically, I am very far from that ideal.

I'll end with a slightly more comforting description, though, of what it's all about and who is on our side:

[Doing all God asks is really about] steady preparation over the years, through all our strength in what might appear to be little tasks with small consequences.

My prayer is that we may keep our priesthood covenants to qualify ourselves for eternal life and those we are called to train. I promise you if you do all that you can, God will magnify your strength and your wisdom. He will season you.

Ultimately, I guess it comes down to faith: faith that God will help us do whatever we have to do. Faith that we'll keep being prepared and keep being sustained and keep being magnified as long as we have to, until Heavenly Father finally calls us home (…to engage in even more work on the other side…but let's not think too much about that!).

Other posts in this series:

Testimony—by Rozy

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Field trips, jello, blankets

 

Junie went through a short phase of wanting to make interesting jello creations. I thought this diagonal cross-cutting layer was pretty innovative!

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Something refining and holy in such striving

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 2011 Conference.

The idea that repentance is a joyful doctrine has, as far as I can tell, been taught constantly since at least Alma's time:

And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!

In his talk this session, Elder Christofferson reiterates that point yet again:

Repentance is a divine gift, and there should be a smile on our faces when we speak of it. It points us to freedom, confidence, and peace. Rather than interrupting the celebration, the gift of repentance is the cause for true celebration.

I'm so curious, with this knowledge being so available and so widely dispensed, why is it that every time anyone ever speaks about repentance, they say, "I used to think repentance was a terrible thing!" or "When I was young I was scared of repentance!" Is it just human nature to feel bad for doing wrong, and fear the consequences? Does it stem from our parents punishing us for breaking rules, so we learned to associate mistakes with sadness? Is it because Satan obscures the doctrine, trying to get us to misunderstand it? It's probably some combination of all those things, all of which I've felt myself. But it's interesting that even once we have experienced repentance for ourselves and know better, we still sometimes shrink away from teaching others that good news:

If we do not invite others to change or if we do not demand repentance of ourselves, we fail in a fundamental duty we owe to one another and to ourselves. A permissive parent, an indulgent friend, a fearful Church leader are in reality more concerned about themselves than the welfare and happiness of those they could help. Yes, the call to repentance is at times regarded as intolerant or offensive and may even be resented, but guided by the Spirit, it is in reality an act of genuine caring.

Pretty strong words. I don't want to be one of these people (and am pretty sure I've erred more often the other direction with my kids, in being too harsh and not patient enough), but I'm just not sure how far "inviting others to change" should go. What is the difference between recognizing what I can’t change about those I love (and deciding not to push too hard and cause conflict)…and being a “permissive parent” who is selfishly withholding correction and teaching that could lead to greater happiness for my children? And I think I'd feel even more hesitant as a church leader (though I don’t know that I’ve ever been in a position with a specific directive to “preach repentance”…unless we all should be doing that). With so much counsel given these days to "just love people" and "meet them where they are," these words from Elder Christofferson seem jarring. I don't actually think there is a conflict—certainly not when we understand the doctrine mentioned earlier about repentance bringing joy!—but it is definitely not an easy area to navigate! Maybe that's the point; maybe struggling to find the balance teaches us needed lessons about the nature of love. But I wish I were better at it.

Elder Christofferson also has this encouragement, though, which I love:

Real repentance, real change may require repeated attempts, but there is something refining and holy in such striving.

I suppose that's just as true for my efforts to teach and exemplify the gospel to my family as it is for my more individual mistakes. It takes a long time to get it right. It takes mistakes from leaning too far to one extreme and then perhaps too far to the other. But that striving itself is holiness to the Lord.

Other posts in this series:

The Divine Gift of Repentance—by Rozy

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Shifting rooms, shifting seasons

With Sebastian moving to Denver, we had some space to shuffle kids around to different rooms. Teddy moved out of Malachi's room and into Sebastian's old room. Ziggy moved downstairs to be with Teddy. Clementine moved out of the girls' room to go upstairs and share with Gus, where Ziggy used to be.

Daisy, Junie, and Goldie cleaned their room SO well. They cleared out every drawer, every shelf, every corner, and got rid of things they weren't using. Then they asked if they could paint their room and we said yes. They picked out the prettiest peachy-pink color!

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The gnome spectrum, goodbye to Seb, &c.

 

Let's just start right out with a gnome: A gnome with a gnome-ball on his hat, to be precise. (Something's weird about his hands too. Are they also gnomes? Or bunnies?) Gus drew this gnome.

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Butterfield Canyon

We love the Cottonwood Canyons so much, we've probably neglected the west side canyons more than we should have! There are fewer places to drive up on the west side, but the trees are still pretty and it's much faster to get there, so one day in October when we didn't have much time, we zipped up to Butterfield Canyon for a picnic. We were in our big van and the road got VERY narrow for a while. Three of the kids were crying because they were scared of the cliff on one side. I was a little scared too, to be honest, but I put on a brave face. Anyway, the road was paved and we were fine. (But next time I drive up…I'll take the smaller car.)

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Denver trip with Seb

So…Sebastian took a job at the Denver Airport and moved to Denver! It was all quite sudden. When we were in Oregon, Seb was still working at UPS Cargo in Salt Lake and trying to decide if he wanted to work de-icing again this winter. When some jobs came open at United in Denver, he applied just to see what would happen. He has wanted to work for an actual airline (they have better benefits than the contractors he's worked for) but it's hard to get hired here in SLC because they don't have as many employees here. He was kind of surprised when he got offered the job! He was considering it, talking over pros and cons with us, and then suddenly the next day he told me he'd accepted the offer! We were surprised and a little taken aback because it happened so quickly, and he would have to move in a month! But we were also glad he was being brave and moving forward. He'd been wanting to make a change for a while and this was a great chance for it!

Seb found some apartments for rent online, and we narrowed them down a bit, but felt like he really ought to see them in person. He had to go to Denver for a badging appointment and drug test at the airport anyway, so I decided to go with him for a quick overnight trip so we could check some places out. I felt sort of underqualified to help, since I have never apartment hunted before myself! I lived at home in college, then in London, then with Rachael in her grandpa's house while he was living elsewhere. And then I got married! So I don't know anything. But I could provide moral support (and the benefit of my years of wisdom of course🙄). Oh, and unlike Seb I'm old enough to rent a car. So that was something.

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We have the faithful promise of God

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the October 2011 Conference.

I loved this quote from President Uchtdorf about God's promises:

Please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever. We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him. Have hope and faith in that promise. Learn to love your Heavenly Father and become His disciple in word and in deed.

Other posts in this series:

You matter to him—by Rozy 

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Fall near Strawberry Reservoir

 

As we're having a school unit about fish [or Oceans, to be precise, but river salmon will do for our purposes] at the moment, we took a little field trip up to Strawberry Reservoir to see the Kokanee Salmon spawning. Spawning salmon are super interesting. Do you know they change color (from silver to bright red) and their whole heads change shape as they swim upstream to spawn? And did you know they don't eat ever again from the time they start their journey? They just swim home, lay their eggs, and die. 

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Lightning, Conference, Fall days rushing by

I posted about Ziggy's baptism but not the birthday that preceded it! I think it was a happy day for him. It's great to be eight, after all!

Gus drew this ADORABLE birthday card of Ziggy with a dog

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Future blessings now

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Young Women's Session of the April 2011 Conference.

This week I noticed this, from Sister Dalton's talk:

As this couple knelt at the sacred altar, they received promises beyond mortal comprehension that will bless, strengthen, and assist them on their mortal journey.

I think it's interesting that these promises bless us before we’ve even truly started to do our part, and certainly before we've received their fulness. And there are so many of God's promises that are like that. They guarantee amazing blessings if we live up to them and are faithful—but then the blessings start coming almost as soon as we get the promises in the first place! Just trying to live the covenants is itself a blessing! Just thinking about the future promises, absorbing what they mean, shaping ourselves to hope for them—all of those things bless us continually all through the process of actually learning and growing into people that are able to receive the promised blessings!

Other posts in this series:

Guardians of Virtue—by Rozy

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Dinners, Dancers, Players, Wig-makers

We had a little funeral for our bunny Nutmeg when we buried him, but we wanted to have another celebration where we could talk about and remember him. We decided we should set up our dinner out on the hill, since Nutmeg loved to hop around out there so much.

We used bunny dishes, of course!

Sebastian is no longer a teenager, and does not usually act like one, but he was soooooo embarrassed that we were eating on the hill. He almost died of embarrassment. He kept saying angrily, "Why are we doing this? Everyone is going to see us!" I am (slightly) sorry to report that Malachi and I thought this was so funny that we kept saying things like, "Wait, is that someone looking out the Curtis's window? Are those binoculars?" Seb was NOT amused. He eventually came and sat on the ground with the kids, but I'm honestly surprised he did that much. And he beat a hasty retreat as soon as he'd eaten. Well. It is probably not the last time his family will embarrass him, unfortunately!

Meanwhile the rest of us had a lovely time. I want to always eat on the hill! The weather was so perfect and the views so beautiful!

Afterwards we came in and unveiled the little reading corner we made where Nutmeg's cage used to be. It will be a good cozy spot to sit and remember him!

And we ate fruit pizza with peaches on it, since peaches were Nutmeg's favorite! (I'm so happy that he got to have one the morning he died!)

Goldie made some bunny garlands and put out bunnies in Nutmeg's honor

And then we looked at pictures of Nutmeg and talked about how much we loved him. It was a good celebration!

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Apparently it was a very celebratory few weeks, because we also had our House Anniversary Celebration. Goldie made the decorations for our dinner on the back deck. I both can and can't believe we've been here five years!

(Goldie also made a mini version of the big banner, just for me 😍)

This picnic blanket had been washed earlier and hung up here on the clothesline to dry, so Goldie made use of it for her decorations. So clever!

We feel so grateful to get to live here!

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Gus made these wonderful drawings of the planets, with music to go with each (in the style of Gustav Holst, of course!). His spelling is the best and I hope it never improves. :)

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Daisy off to ballet with her sisters. Life is so good now that she can drive them all! :)

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The roses were looking so good all through September!

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Gus and Clementine got invited to a neighbor's birthday party and were so excited to go! The family asked for no presents, so they bought a little bouquet of flowers for the birthday girl. 

They reminded me so much of little Daisy, also going off to a birthday party almost ten years ago:

Off they go!

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The girls and I have participated in this "Magic Yarn Project" quite a few times in the last year because we know a lady who is involved with the organization. They make princess wigs for children who have lost their hair to cancer or some other condition. (Not just princess wigs, actually—they do some really cute boy hats too!) Our part so far has been attaching the long strands of hair to the little crocheted beanies, so it can then be styled. It's kind of soothing and fun just to get in the rhythm of tying on the yarn strands. The girls brought a couple of their ballet friends with us this time!

We've done Moana and Elsa before, and this time we got to do Aurora!

When the wig is all done you get to package it up with cute stickers and cards, and enclose a little picture of yourself to go with it. It was so fun to see so many finished wigs ready to go out to their recipients! I think there were almost 400 of them made on this day!

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Malachi asked a girl to Homecoming (I disapprove of "Hoco"…tsk tsk) in…well…exactly the way you'd expect Malachi to ask someone:

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A clean and organized cupboard, courtesy of Gus

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A bunny girl

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Our "field trip" days are mostly in Provo this year, since the girls go to math classes there on Tuesdays. We have had fun discovering some beautiful parks and enjoying the beautiful weather! I love Y Mountain in the Fall!

Gus, unbothered by his recent bonk, explaining to me something about the game he is playing

Clementine with my mom

BYU Bookstore

Clementine saw this baby in the baby swing at this park, and promptly went up and sat on the connected seat so she could swing him. His mom didn't seem to mind, and neither did he!

It was the little kids' turn to do a BYU campus golf cart tour, and they really liked it! I had to get a picture of Gus and Clementine to match the one of Daisy and Malachi I got earlier this year:

Sometime all too soon it WILL be Gus and Clementine getting ready to go to college, and I will be saying sadly, "Where do the years go?"

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Shrimp alfredo, made and photographed by Junie on her Dinner Helper night

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Ziggy has been obsessed with SWAT teams lately. He heard someone talking about them around the time of the Charlie Kirk shooting at UVU, and immediately wanted to know everything about what they do. Sebastian or someone showed him a picture of riot gear, and ever since then he's been using everything he can find to dress up as a "SWAT man."

Convincing—and scary!

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Clementine in a too-small sweater

Clementine in a too-big dress

Clementine with the little car she always makes for "the bats"

Clementine feeding Evie a tiny piece of fruit pizza

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Lastly, some sunsets!

Moon!

This is such a beautiful time of year!

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