This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Relief Society Session of the October 2008 Conference.
"Happiness, Your Heritage." I remember this talk well from when I first heard it. I thought it was so interesting that Elder Uchtdorf picked out these two specific traits of God—creation and compassion—to highlight and suggest we emulate. This time, I thought it was interesting to think about the tension inherent in this gift of creation:
Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty.
I agree with this wholeheartedly. I don't know that I truly identify as a "creative person," but in this context, in wanting to take "unorganized matter" and make it more beautiful, I have felt (and still do feel) this desire. A large part of my enjoyment of motherhood has come in trying to create a home and a family life full of beauty. Where the tension comes in is that I'm gradually realizing how few things I really do have the power to "mold." I used to be so optimistic (idealistic? naive, maybe?) about getting my kids to "turn out" this or that specific way. And of course I should believe, need to believe, that I can influence my children—what would be the point of motherhood otherwise? But the cause-and-effect relationship—of what I want my children to do, and try to teach them to do, and what they actually do—is, to my sometime discouragement, not very strong. It's not that I'm unhappy with who my children are. I actually love seeing some of the surprising and unexpected ways their own personalities come into being. But there is much less "molding like clay" to raising children than I perhaps anticipated at first.
Elder Uchtdorf mentioned this in another talk, in fact—the idea that we as parents can nurture and provide environments for growth, but the growth and progression of another person is not within our control. I think when I first envisioned taking the "unorganized matter" of my home and children and molding it into "something of beauty," I had in mind that I'd have more control over the final result. That indeed would have brought "deep satisfaction and fulfillment"!
But now I'm realizing that I have to find fulfillment in the process of simply creating, as best I can, an environment of beauty and love. Not in the final result. Not in the choices of others. But in the process and joy of serving and bringing good, whatever good I can, into the world. In the work and effort of nurture and development. And I have to trust Jesus Christ and His power to ultimately "give the increase," in His own time and His own way.
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