Always ready to serve

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the October 2010 Conference.

Sam and I were talking recently about finding one's "purpose in life." Some people feel strong pulls to do important things—adopt foster children, start up non-profit organizations, coordinate humanitarian efforts. Some people feel called to move from their comfortable lives to serve in distant places. Some people seem asked to endure greater-than-usual tragedies. There are so many people who have purposes we can see and admire. Of course to some extent, we know, everyone faces times when they have to rise to a calling or a purpose they feel unqualified for. Specific challenges or responsibilities often come looking for us whether we want them or not. And yet—Sam and I were saying, even knowing this, that often in regular life there seems to be no specific purpose in front of us, beyond "just keep trying to be good." There seems nothing epic or interesting about it. Parenthood. Serving in the church. Going to work and raising the kids and trying to keep on top of your responsibilities. In this normalcy, it's easy to feel unimportant or secondary to God's work (even when we know there really IS no "secondary"). It's easy to wonder if we should be finding something grander to contribute—or to ask why we aren't already being given some more obvious directive from God. 

It's not that we want to be "seen of men." Sam and I both grew up with a core belief that the best kind of saint is one who serves quietly and continuously, lifting where he stands. We saw examples of such people all around us in our families and wards when we were young, and we aspired to be like them. But, perhaps because the people doing impressive and important work are also often good, faithful, humble people, we still sometimes feel that sense of insignificance in comparison.

This talk by President Uchtdorf made me think about all these things again. I love his remedy for those feelings of being less-important or unpurposeful:

We are servants of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are not given [our reponsibilities] so that we can take our bows and bask in praise. We are here to roll up our sleeves and go to work. We are enlisted in no ordinary task. We are called to prepare the world for the coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We seek not our own honor but give praise and glory to God. We know that the contribution we can make by ourselves is small; nevertheless, as we exercise the power of the priesthood in righteousness, God can cause a great and marvelous work to come forth through our efforts. We must learn, as Moses did, that “man is nothing” by himself but that “with God all things are possible.” …

Humility does not mean convincing ourselves that we are worthless, meaningless, or of little value. Nor does it mean denying or withholding the talents God has given us. We don’t discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving God and our fellowman. …

I once owned a pen that I loved to use during my career as an airline captain. By simply turning the shaft, I could choose one of four colors. The pen did not complain when I wanted to use red ink instead of blue. It did not say to me, “I would rather not write after 10:00 p.m., in heavy fog, or at high altitudes.” The pen did not say, “Use me only for important documents, not for the daily mundane tasks.” With greatest reliability it performed every task I needed, no matter how important or insignificant. It was always ready to serve.

In a similar way we are tools in the hands of God. When our heart is in the right place, we do not complain that our assigned task is unworthy of our abilities. We gladly serve wherever we are asked. When we do this, the Lord can use us in ways beyond our understanding to accomplish His work.

It's so good to keep this dichotomy in mind, of our relative insignificance but also our grand purpose—the grand purpose all of us are part of—preparing for Jesus' Second Coming. And, once one has contemplated that, there's not much benefit in fretting over it, mulling over and over "What is my purpose? What is my importance? What is my value?"—but instead, we can find our answers and our purpose and our peace in just forgetting ourselves in the service of God and  our fellowman.

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Continue to choose to follow the Savior

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 2010 Conference.

I loved the talk on Agency by the underappreciated (just by me, when I was younger! I love him now) Elder Hales. I thought this insight was so good:

Think of it: in our premortal state we chose to follow the Savior Jesus Christ! And because we did, we were allowed to come to earth. I testify that by making the same choice to follow the Savior now, while we are here on earth, we will obtain an even greater blessing in the eternities. But let it be known: we must continue to choose to follow the Savior.

I think it's interesting that in some ways it seems this has to be an eternal and recurring choice. We have to choose Jesus every day and demonstrate our faith and trust with each act and each thought. But in another ways, I think we can choose it and never look back. I love the fact that as we continue to choose to follow Him, He helps change our natures so that we don't have as difficult of a time choosing. We can point ourselves toward Him and then just keep walking. I feel like I'm doing that now. It's not that the path doesn't still get hard and I don't still stumble. I still keep coming around bends in the road and thinking, "This? I never wanted this!" But I never contemplate turning around or getting off the path anymore. I already know that I'm going where I want to go, and I'm going to keep going there if it kills me (which it definitely will, seeing as death is the end of this mortal journey for everyone, ha ha).

Elder Hales makes that same point here:

…By His perfect life, [our Savior] taught us that when we choose to do the will of our Heavenly Father, our agency is preserved, our opportunities increase, and we progress.

Choosing good means we get to keep choosing good. Choosing obedience means we gain freedom. Choosing faith means we never get stuck, despairing and confused, in sin. We know what to do with trial and sin. We're still learning to actually DO what we know, of course, and faltering along the way, but we aren't damned by our mistakes. We progress through them. That's what continually choosing Christ (as well as once-and-for-all choosing Christ) can do for us.

I also thought this was beautiful:

When we follow the prophets’ counsel to hold family home evening, family prayer, and family scripture study, our homes become an incubator for our children’s spiritual growth. There we teach them the gospel, bear our testimonies, express our love, and listen as they share their feelings and experiences. By our righteous choices and actions, we liberate them from darkness by increasing their ability to walk in the light.

This made me think that wherever our children end up choosing to walk (because it is their choice)—in darkness or light or some of each—and no matter how long they wander as they figure themselves out—that by teaching them the gospel in our homes, we have given them the gift of it being easier to find the light, easier to recognize it (and its lack), and easier to walk in it when they choose to do so. We haven't taken the burden of choice from them. But we've lightened it meaningfully by showing them that there is a choice, and that choosing God leads to light and progress in every way.

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The Economy of Heaven

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the October 2010 Conference.

I was going to write about a different talk today (Elder Uchtdorf's; I love it; it makes me feel so peaceful) but I can't stop thinking about a phrase from another talk so I guess I'm going with that! The phrase is "economy of heaven," and this is the context of it (from the talk Gospel Teaching and Learning by David McConkie):

Brothers and sisters, it is contrary to the economy of heaven for the Lord to repeat to each of us individually what He has already revealed to us collectively.

I think it stuck out to me because I'd just encountered that word in the Come Follow Me lessons; Doctrine and Covenants (section 77):

Q. What are we to understand by the book which John saw, which was sealed on the back with seven seals?

⁠A. We are to understand that it contains the revealed will, mysteries⁠, and the works of God; the hidden things of his economy concerning this earth during the seven thousand years of its continuance, or its temporal existence.

So what are the hidden things of "his economy"?? I can find just a few more times the exact phrase "economy of heaven" has been used by prophets and apostles:

1. In the economy of heaven⁠, God does not send thunder if a still, small voice is enough, or a prophet if a priest can do the job. (Neal A. Maxwell)

2. It is contrary to the economy of heaven for the Lord to do for us that which we can do for ourselves. (J. Devn Cornish)

3. In the economy of heaven the Lord never uses a floodlight when a flashlight is sufficient—and so it is in receiving personal revelation. (L. Lionel Kendrick; he must be playing off of Elder Maxwell here)

4. Disciples of Jesus Christ understand that compared to eternity, our existence in this mortal sphere is only “a small moment” in space and time. They know that a person’s true value has little to do with what the world holds in high esteem. They know you could pile up the accumulated currency of the entire world and it could not buy a loaf of bread in the economy of heaven. (Elder Uchtdorf)

5. When the saint of God considers, and the visions of eternity are open to his view … he soars above the things of time and sense and bursts the cords that bind him to earthly objects. He contemplates God and his own destiny in the economy of heaven and rejoices in a blooming hope of an immortal glory. (John Taylor, quoted here by Brian K. Taylor)

There may be more, but those were about all with that exact phrase, and what strikes me about the first three is that they…I don't know quite how to say it, but they sound a little mean. Stingy, you know? Like God is going to expend the minimum effort on us that He can. If he can help us with LESS effort, He will. And maybe that is fine. Maybe there's some divine conservation of energy principle which makes that make perfect sense, like then He'll have more energy left over to help other people or something (though with an eternal and all-powerful God, that hardly makes sense). Regardless, I am willing to accept that perhaps there's some celestial principle behind "Use the minimum possible effort/resources needed to do the job." Why not? God is in charge and if what He gives us does do the job—what else matters?

However. Also. That interpretation doesn't really make sense with the way Heavenly Father seems to have worked in my life. True, there are many times when I've received small, seemingly unimpressive answers to prayer. (Though very seldom unimpressive to me!) But on the whole, one of the most defining characteristics of God is that He’s so generous. In fact, often the "economy of heaven" often seems to mean that He blesses multiple people through one thing. He helps you and he helps those you’re helping. He's not minimizing effort, He's maximizing it! So I feel like "the hidden things of His economy" can’t mean that God is trying to save Himself time or effort by "reusing" revelation multiple times on different people. There must be something else to that “economy.”

The fourth and fifth quotes, above, maybe hint at that a little bit. Elder Uchtdorf's seems to say that the worth of a soul is much higher than rational calculation would tell us; meaning God will go to much MORE effort for one of His children than seems reasonable or "economical." And indeed that is what I've seen in my life. God seems to do an extraordinary amount of work to arrange things, put plans in place, move earth and heaven, all for the tiniest most personal little tender mercies—things you'd think would never warrant so much effort! Why? How does that fit into "the economy of heaven"?

And the John Taylor quote implies that if we really understood the economy of heaven, it would give us hope and confidence because God is so magnanimous, so generous with the riches of eternity. Again, this is consistent with the God I've seen—never stingy, never holding back, but just eager to pour down blessings the moment we turn to Him, even when we are so undeserving.

So, possibly "the hidden things of His economy" mentioned in the Doctrine and Covenants hints at just that (apparent) contradiction. Maybe God does "re-use" His revelations and "never send thunder if a still small voice will do" etc etc.—but—those things doesn't show the laziness or lack of effort we might ascribe to them. Maybe somehow those things are even more evidence of His care. Maybe the fact that He somehow manages to take these words Joseph Smith received and wrote down two hundred years ago for someone else—multiple someone elses—and still make those words relevant and helpful and inspired for ME today, not to mention for all the other people reading them in all times and places since they were given, is the most extravagant "economy" of all. Maybe that still small voice will be better and more lasting and more sustaining than thunder ever could have been.

It's like the loaves and the fishes: what could have been one blessing becomes many, sent out in baskets to bless larger and larger circles of people, until what was simply nourishing for the first receiver becomes astoundingly miraculous for the thousandth. Maybe when we see those "hidden things" come to light, we will be astonished at how God has made abundance out of the smallest effort and prosperity out of the poorest gift. And we'll realize our mortal minds didn't really understand the "economy of heaven" at all.

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