SBAMR 2010 (Or, A "Holiday Party"!)

I'm think I'm pretty good at resisting the typical marketing efforts I always get emailed/mailed to me by various retailers, but there's one I am always drawn in by: the Holiday Party.  If anything says, "Stock up on dishes for all your holiday parties!" or "Sparkly dresses for your Holiday Parties!" etc., I can hardly resist.  But it's silly, because I always realize (after thinking "Yeah!  I need this for my Holiday Parties!") that I don't really ATTEND any Holiday Parties.  Not fancy ones that require sparkly dresses, anyway (more's the pity).  Sam used to have a fancy work party but it's morphed from "Fancy party with Spouses and Drinking" (not that the two necessarily go together very well) to "Sort-of-Fancy Lunch for Employees only" to "Free Brunch from 11-2 in the Break Room!"  But I digress.

There is one Holiday Party, however, which I can count on attending.  It's an annual party Sam's family has for Adults Only (and only if you know how many kids a big Mormon family can amass do you appreciate the significance of that statement) at Christmastime, and this year we were in charge of it.  We are given great freedom in choosing foods, themes, etc. for this party, so it turns out differently (and wonderfully) every year.  I assume you know by now how much we love to be in charge of things: well, more accurately, you know how much Sam and I like to have A Project we can work together on.  Yes, indeed.  And so, I give you:

The 2010 Symposium on Breakfast and Ante-Meridian Repast (SBAMR 2010)
Sponsored by the Neo-national Association for the Conservation and Advancement of Breakfast (NOCAB)

Egg wreath!  Festive.  I found this craft in Martha Stewart Living.  (Joke.)

Invite letter.  Click to enlarge.  I suppose this was believeable enough because several siblings said they nearly threw it out as junk mail.  Rather hasty of them, don't you think?

NOCAB newsletter (enclosed with the registration letter).  Touches on historical roots of current controversies in the Breakfast Movement.


Place setting

Part of the buffet spread

It really was quite a feast.  If I may say so.

Name badges (distributed at the door)
As good as the food was, the real delight of the evening came when we began the symposium itself.  We'd mailed out the above schedule and hoped people would come through with some entertaining presentations, but we could not have POSSIBLY foreseen how amazing those presentations would prove to be.  AMAZING, I tell you.  As I set up the stage/podium before the party, Abe asked me if I wanted him to put the box of Kleenex by the podium.  I thought it was a funny idea (very observant, that boy; he knows what is required when Public Speakers are present) but I never envisioned us actually needing/using them.  But it turned out we DID---not for tender emotional moments, but for the sheer hilarity of it all.  We were WEEPING with laughter.  We couldn't even breathe at times.  Or, as President Monson would say: Many, many tears were shed.

I wish I had a transcript (or a video!  If only we'd thought of it!) of everyone's actual remarks.  The presentation titles in the schedule above can only give you a glimpse of the varied and informative topics which were touched upon.  We enjoyed:
originally composed Beatnik Bacon poetry

A heartfelt call for relaxation of our Cultural Biases in the selection and scope of Breakfast Food (and proposals for government subsidies/trade agreements encouraging same).  Oh yes---and did you note the egg-festooned Christmas tree?

An enlightening quiz covering facts and fictions about the History of Bacon

A re-written children's classic incorporating 15-minutes' worth of Broadway showtunes, impeccably timed and sung

A glimpse into the shocking secrets of breakfast-related murder and violence in the Great Beyond (complete with contemporary news accounts and a thrillingly revelatory seance)

 An impassioned plea for greater tolerance and diversity, including de-segregation, in Egg Color

A discourse on Breakfast in Art History, with stunning new discoveries from the field including deeper x-rays of the Mona Lisa and early sketches of Dali's "Persistence of Memory" (early working title: "Persistence of Yolks")

That intrigues you, doesn't it?  All right, I'll include those slides here:

And there was more.  Much, much more.  (Usually when someone says that it means "There was one more thing, which wasn't that great or I would have already listed it."  But in this case, believe me when I say that each presentation was equally stunning in its own way, and only space considerations and lack of pictoral/written images keep me from sharing them all.)  I will share my own contribution, for the sake of space, in its own post shortly.

To sum up: My only regret is not indulging in a sparkly dress for the event (Sam and I both wore "business pajama" attire, as we felt was more fitting).  But it was indeed a Holiday Party to remember, and one of the most enjoyable evenings we've had the pleasure of hosting.  Thank you to all those who had a hand (or mouth) in it.


  1. This is the most useful blog I read. We made your snowflakes this last month, we're in our third year of hosting an annual La Restaurant Fancee for the grandparents, and I made your hummus over New Years with great success.
    This is amazing. I mean, I could have had this idea myself (pat myself on back...) but I never would have taken it to the tenth level, like you did.
    I feel like you and Sam live on a higher plane. Maybe it's a requirement for living at Daybreak, which may be the reason Joel didn't "feel" like we should move there.
    Anyway, I love you. And this blog is pretty much my meat and potatoes, whatever that means. (you'll know what it means, though, because you live on a higher plane)

  2. Beth: Tell Joel I "feel" like you should move here immediately. You are MY meat and potatoes, and by that I mean all that you west-Provonians think it means.

    I miss you!!!

  3. I wish we were friends in reality and not just cyberality. You amaze and inspire me.

  4. My hat is off to you, Sir Percy. I wish I were part of your extended family!

  5. Beth, let me assure you that most of us here in Daybreak do not live on this plane either. Feel free to move here.

    This gathering is truly inspirational.I always suspected your family was this cool. And see how they flock 'round you like bees to honey?

  6. Oh, Mar. Oh, my goodness. And you are not the only evidence that Daybreak is above us all. I have other friends there who are actually making money on their books (as opposed to us west Provo writers who are keeping boxes of out of print works in case we have to start heating the house with actual fire).

    I don't know what to say to you about this. I knew you were special when you managed to wrap yourself in barbed wire on a morning run. And then, when you married Sam, which took a great amount creative vision.

    But I may say that whatever good opinion I have had of myself (what was left to me after reading your past posts), I now feel that I have wasted my life, and that my brain is NOT the quality that I have occasionally hoped it might be - because I would NEVER have thought this up myself, and if I had, I NEVER would have been able to pull it together and deliver the package.

    I feel like a stinking recumbent Botticelli.

    Dang it.

  7. "you married Sam, which took a great amount creative vision"

    Wait, what?

  8. Oh my goodness--what sheer delight and brilliance. I am left with mouth ajar considering the dazzling possibilities of such a party.

  9. THIS is why you are my go-to lady for everything!


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