Effortless

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 1980 Conference. 

I think a lot about "rats in the cellar." (You know the C.S. Lewis quote.) That is, I think a lot about who I "really am" and how my behavior shows, or doesn't show, that. One thing I am frequently lamenting is how rarely I have the "right" reaction as my first reaction! A common phrase for me to say in my prayers is, "I'm sorry I have to try so hard for [desirable trait]. I wish I could do it instinctively instead of with such effort!"

I just can't help but notice how natural goodness looks in people I admire. "She doesn't even have to TRY to be nice!" I think wistfully. "She just IS that way!" It seems like it would be so great to effortlessly think the best of people, for example, instead of having to force away envious thoughts or unfair judgements first.

But lately I've been wondering if I'm overestimating the benefits of having something "come naturally." I think it's probably still a good "someday" sort of goal to strive for (maybe if I practice being nice for fifty more years it will become second nature!) but it may not be as important as I thought it was.

Here's why I think it might not matter: I was practicing the piano accompaniment of some difficult choir music, and I wrote above one passage, where the notes cascade down in a sort of waterfall:  "Effortless!"—meaning, this part needs to sound effortless. And then as I was bashing out the notes over and over again, and circling accidentals and writing in fingerings, I was snickering to myself about that word "effortless." I thought, "If this ends up sounding 'effortless' I will really have fooled people! No one will know how much 'effort' was actually involved."

And I was thinking: would it matter at all if this had been really easy for me? Assuming that the final performance is beautiful—would it be MORE beautiful, somehow, if it was arrived at without effort? Would people hear that lovely waterfall passage and think, "Nice… but I hope she didn't have to practice that part much!" Ha ha. Obviously…they wouldn't care! At "final performance" stage, it really doesn't matter.

But of course, "final performance stage" isn't where I'm interacting with people, most of the time. So I feel self-conscious because my "effort" is so obvious! There was a bit of discussion in Relief Society a few weeks ago about not wanting to seem "forced" when ministering to others. None of us like feeling awkward, and one lady asked, "When you are just getting to know someone, how can you make sure it doesn't seem forced? I never want someone to think they are only an assignment to me!" I totally relate to that sentiment, and I've even sometimes thought, "It would be better for me not to visit someone at all, if I don't come across as a real friend!"

But when I think of ministering as a skill, like playing the piano, it's absurd to expect it not to be awkward at first! Of course it's awkward when two people try to get to know each other on a new level! Of course it feels a bit forced! We should be surprised if it doesn't! It makes sense to me that easy and "effortless" ministering (which of course takes a lot of effort) can only be developed after repeated less-than-perfect attempts. And it makes sense that putting in those first awkward efforts is a vital step on the way to getting better at it!

Elder Marvin J. Ashton presents two sets of corollaries about doing hard things:

Those who yield to adversity become weaker. [But] to the valiant, it is a stepping-stone to increased power. 

Satan wants us to feel unequal to our worldly tasks. [But] if we turn to God, He will take us by the hand and lead us through our darkest hours.

Or to rephrase that, it is only through effort that things become effortless. That is why adversity is so valuable. It shows us that we are weak, at the same time it gives us the means and the motivation to become strong. Because as Elder Ashton says, it is only as we turn to God (even in our powerlessness) that He can grant us increased power.

Other posts in this series:

• Power to Overcome the World by Jan Tolman
• Facing Adversity with Dignity by Nathaniel Givens