Not weight but wings

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 1999 Conference.

This Conference Session was really good—I liked all of the talks, and they seemed especially…I don't know, General Conference is often like this, but especially just…solid and basic and foundational. People were thinking about the new millennium ahead, this was the last meeting in the old Salt Lake Tabernacle, and I just felt a spirit of seriousness and determination from these talks, like there was no time to waste on anything superficial or unnecessary.

Elder L. Tom Perry had a cool quote in his talk (from some guy named Harry Emerson Fosdick) which was this:

Some Christians carry their religion on their backs. It is a packet of beliefs and practices which they must bear. At times it grows heavy and they would willingly lay it down, but that would mean a break with old traditions, so they shoulder it again. But real Christians do not carry their religion, their religion carries them. It is not weight; it is wings. It lifts them up, it sees them over hard places, it makes the universe seem friendly, life purposeful, hope real, sacrifice worthwhile. It sets them free from fear, futility, discouragement, and sin—the great enslavers of men’s souls. You can know a real Christian, when you see him, by his buoyancy.

I've been thinking about this a lot this week. I talked to a friend a while ago who seemed to feel a little adrift. She has some specific health struggles which make everyday life hard, but to me it seemed like the hardest part for her is that she doesn't feel much purpose. She has free time and money and hobbies, even fun opportunities to travel, but though they can keep her busy, none of those things seem to make her feel truly joyful and excited about life. It's interesting to me, because I can (and do sometimes) look at her life with awe and a touch of longing. It looks so different from mine right now. She kept asking me, "But what do you do for yourself? When do you have time for you?" And I kept thinking, "Well…I don't. I generally feel overwhelmed. But, which of us is happier right now?"

It's not true, actually, that I don't have any time "for me." I have lots of moments here and there, I have date night with Sam every week, I have a temple close by, my schedule is flexible. So I'm not complaining (at the moment—I do often complain—but it's not justified, is what I'm saying😄)—but I just think it's interesting that because I have the purpose the gospel of Jesus Christ gives me, because I have a calling and a family who needs me and lots of people around me to serve, I really do feel a sense of happiness and buoyancy that makes no earthly sense. Of course I have days of discouragement, like anyone does, but the gospel in fact does "see me over hard places" and make "sacrifice worthwhile." Ever since I read this quote I've been thinking about how all the "weight" in my life comes from worry, sin, failure, confusion, etc.—but never the gospel. The teachings of Jesus Christ, and the knowledge that I can repent and I can always trust Him—the promises to covenant Israel which President Nelson had us study and which I KNOW God will fulfill in my life—the feeling of God's love and His concern for me—these are the things that make the weight bearable. These are the things that really do lighten my burdens. I am SO grateful to have this knowledge in my life!

I also love this that Elder Richard G. Scott said in his talk:

The Lord has placed currents of divine influence in your life that will lead you along the individual plan He would have you fulfill here on earth. Seek through the Spirit to identify it and carefully follow that direction that the Lord has put in your life. Align yourself with it. Choose, willingly, to exercise your agency to follow it. Do not be overcome by concentrating solely on today, its challenges, difficulties, and opportunities. Such preoccupations must not totally capture your attention so as to consume your life. Oh, how I would encourage you to weave deeply into the fabric of your soul the recognition that your life now is a part of a much bigger plan the Lord has for you. You lived part of it in the premortal existence. You were valiant there and came here because you wanted to grow and enjoy greater happiness. What you decide to do now will affect how well you fulfill that divine, personal plan He has for you.…

It is wondrously simple and so incomparably beautiful. As you continue to live righteously, you will always know what to do. Sometimes the discovery of that may require significant effort and trust on your part. Yet you will recognize what to do as you meet the conditions for such divine guidance in your life: obedience to the commandments of the Lord, trust in His plan, and the avoidance of anything that is contrary to it. The more closely you conform your life to the doctrine of the Lord, the more capacity you will have to do what the Spirit inspires you to do.

I love the idea that living the doctrine of Christ (which I think just means having faith, acting, and repenting in a continuous cycle) will give us "more capacity to do what the Spirit inspires us to do." As I've been studying about fulness, I've thought a lot about capacity as well, and here Elder Scott seems to say that continual repentance and continual efforts to improve will have tangible results: more capacity, which means more power—more space to be filled with the power and blessings of God. Just as with the quote above, I feel a great gratitude when I reflect on the "currents of divine influence" that have led me to be on this path of learning, slowly, to truly trust God and His plan for me.