Known, valued, and good

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the April 2002 Conference.

I loved the talk in this session by Sister Gayle M. Clegg about seeing the good in others. This has been a consistent theme in my own revelation for the past several years (which means, I guess, that I'm not doing it well enough yet!). She tells a cute story about a troubled boy she worked with at school who had all kinds of behavior problems. But when she asked him if he'd like her to fill out a report card for him he said, "Only if it says I'm a good boy." She wrote out a little card with all his strengths and good points she could think of. I think it's so sweet to think about how much he loved seeing that "report card"! Then Sister Clegg says:

Every child needs regular reports affirming, “You are known. You are valued. You have potential. You are good.”…

Whatever your mother tongue, learn to teach and speak in the language of heartfelt prayers and joyful testimony so that angels, earthly and heavenly, can encircle and minister to us. We need gospel mentors who speak the language of praise and friendship.

We need to give regular spiritual report cards that affirm our goodness in each other’s eyes.

When my Sebby was little, after he'd been naughty and I was scolding him, he didn't seem to have much reaction. Little Abey would cry and say he was sorry, but Sebby would just look at me with what seemed like unconcern or defiance. It used to frustrate me so much. I would scold longer and louder, just trying to get him to BE SORRY for what he'd done. But every once in a while he would actually break down and cry. And then I would realize he had felt those sad and sorry feelings all along, and he just hadn't wanted to or been able to show them! And I'd feel so awful for not just gathering him into my arms and loving him instead of berating him so much.

I still do that, I think, so often. I look at other people, my older kids included, and feel like someone needs to make them see how they're wrong or inconsiderate or whatever. And they need to feel sorry! But if I listen to the spirit, I know that's the wrong focus and the wrong choice! And this talk reminds me of it too. Even the most resistant, stubborn, prickly person really does want to know that he is known, valued, and good. How I wish to get better at remembering and doing this!

Other posts in this series:

The Lifeline of Prayer—by Rozy