Montreal Biodôme, priestcraft, smoked meat, and living your religion

Montreal is a cool city! And we liked visiting it. But…it also just made us so happy that we lived in Quebec City instead. In our humble opinion, Quebec City is way more beautiful, way less congested, and just more charming in every way. Quebec City feels so much more foreign and European, too. In Montreal, everyone speaks English! Lots of people know English in Quebec, but they start in French and usually let you persist in French, if you want to. But I don't think anyone spoke French to me in Montreal at all! When we left Montreal we were so happy to get back "home" to Quebec!

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The temple, L’Oratoire Saint-Joseph, and Mont-Royal

Once we realized how bad traffic always was in Montreal, we weren't eager to go into the city too much, but of course we had to drop Malachi off at the airport and pick him up, and we had three temple trips scheduled, so we actually saw quite a bit of the island. 

The temple (in Longueuil, on the far bank of the river) was a highlight, of course! It is tiny—maybe smaller than the stake center that shares its parking lot! But it's beautiful. We loved being there. We had missed it! They had an interesting way of choosing the language of the session—the temple president would just stand at the front of the room and ask for a show of hands whether people wanted French or English! I loved doing it in French when we went in September. It was the perfect situation for understanding—hearing words I am very familiar with in English, accompanied by clear French speech and French subtitles! I understood every word! But strangely enough, both of these later sessions ended up being in English. There are many English speakers in Montreal! I think there are two whole English wards there. It seemed both of the sessions we attended on this trip were split about 50/50 between French and English speakers, so I don't really know how the temple president decided which to do!

The temple is only open Wednesday evening through Saturday, and Malachi left for Utah on Wednesday afternoon, so sadly he didn't get to do baptisms, but Daisy and Junie went with Sam and had a great time. The younger kids and I went to the store and then just played and walked in the (very small) temple grounds. It was such a warm night, we didn't even need coats!

While we walked around I talked to Malachi on the phone. He was in the Detroit airport and had had his wallet stolen!! But it turned out okay. The thief (a cleaning guy in the airport) took a pouch of all Malachi's stuff (passport! Driver's license! Debit card!) while Ky was working on the other side of a table, and Malachi noticed soon afterwards that it was gone and went running after the guy, who he'd seen cleaning there! The guy of course acted innocent and told Malachi he'd already turned the pouch in to his supervisor, but when Malachi tracked it down, his cash and airpods were gone. He filed a police report there at the airport, but without much hope of ever getting anything back. He was so grateful at least to have his passport back so he could fly home!

So that was an adventure.

Sam and I did a temple session the next day while the kids played at a nearby park. Another nice day, happily! The kids found a dead mouse but otherwise had an uneventful time.

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The weak things of the world

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the April 2008 Conference.

It was weird reading the talks from this April 2008 Conference just a week after the October 2007 talks! That conference ended with President Hinckley saying "We look forward to seeing you again next April. I’m 97, but I hope I’m going to make it." But then he didn't make it! This conference session was a solemn assembly sustaining President Monson as the new President of the Church.

I've been reading my mother-in-law's journals from when she was a young mom (she gave them to us for Christmas this year) and just loving them so much. It is fascinating to get a glimpse into what those years of motherhood felt like to her, and I relate so much to both her struggles and her joys. It has made me feel so thoughtful about how fast time goes, the different stages of life, how to measure progress, and a million other things. And one of the main things I have felt as I've read the journals is just a love for who Sam's mom was back then and who she was trying to be! (I love her now too. But it's been fun to get to know her past self!) She was often so tired and discouraged, so sure she wasn't doing anything important, or failing at what she was doing! I just want to take her by the shoulders and say "Stop that! You were amazing! Look at all the good you accomplished! Look at all the people you blessed! Heavenly Father must have loved you and appreciated your efforts so much!" And it's made me want to see my own efforts and failures with a little more perspective as well!

Anyway, having all that on my mind, I really liked this part of Elder Wirthlin's talk:

Everyone has felt tired and weary at one time or another. I seem to feel more so now than I did when I was younger. Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, even Jesus Christ knew what it meant to be tired. I do not wish to underestimate the weight that members of the Church bear upon their shoulders, nor do I minimize the emotional and spiritual trials they face. These can be heavy and often difficult to bear.

I do, however, have a testimony of the renewing power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The prophet Isaiah proclaimed that the Lord “giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.”

For you members of the Church who hold back because of feelings of inadequacy, I plead with you to step forward, put your shoulder to the wheel, and push. Even when you feel that your strength can add little, the Church needs you. The Lord needs you. Remember that the Lord often chooses “the weak things of the world” to accomplish His purposes.

To all who are weary, let the comforting words of the Savior console you: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Let us rely on that promise. The power of God can infuse our spirits and bodies with energy and vigor. I urge you to seek this blessing from the Lord.

I think that's such hopeful counsel and such needed advice. My mother-in-law was so sure she was inadequate, but she was laying the foundation of a great work, and having so many experiences she needed for her own growth! It was hard to see at the time, but looking back it's so obvious! She gave her all to the Lord, and was renewed and strengthened by Him. She may not have felt that "energy and vigor" all the time, but the Lord used her efforts to accomplish such beautiful things! I need to remember that He can use my efforts in the same way.

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Far as the curse was found

This Christmas season I have been pondering an aspect of the power of Jesus Christ which I don't know quite how to name, but I want to write it down while it's on my mind. I noticed it in these lines from "Joy to the World":

No more will sin and sorrow grow

Nor thorns infest the ground.

He'll come and make the blessings flow

Far as the curse was found.

This could mean just generally "the good done by Jesus Christ will be bigger than all the bad things on the earth," but this year I heard it much more precisely, as meaning "the blessings of Jesus Christ will flow to heal every dark and hidden thing that was previously a curse to us." 

Or said another way, "When Jesus comes again, every single wilderness of sadness or despair or pain or unfairness, every single trial and seeming-curse in our lives will be flooded with blessings." 

Or maybe "To the exact extent that bad things affected us, to that identical extent the blessings of Jesus Christ will come."

The picture I'm seeing as I imagine this comes from Ezekiel, chapter 47 where he is talking about the temple and the healing waters that will flow from it after Jesus Christ comes again:

Afterward he brought me again unto the door of the house; and, behold, waters issued out from under the threshold of the house eastward: for the forefront of the house stood toward the east, and the waters came down from under from the right side of the house, at the south side of the altar.

Then brought he me out of the way of the gate northward, and led me about the way without unto the utter gate by the way that looketh eastward; and, behold, there ran out waters on the right side.

And when the man that had the line in his hand went forth eastward, he measured a thousand cubits, and he brought me through the waters; the waters were to the ankles.

Again he measured a thousand, and brought me through the waters; the waters were to the knees. Again he measured a thousand, and brought me through; the waters were to the loins.

Afterward he measured a thousand; and it was a river that I could not pass over: for the waters were risen, waters to swim in, a river that could not be passed over.

Everywhere the waters flow, the earth and the land and the waters are healed:

Then said he unto me, These waters issue out toward the east country, and go down into the desert, and go into the sea: which being brought forth into the sea, the waters shall be healed.

And it shall come to pass, that every thing that liveth, which moveth, whithersoever the rivers shall come, shall live: and there shall be a very great multitude of fish, because these waters shall come thither: for they shall be healed; and every thing shall live whither the river cometh.

To me, this doesn't seem the same as Job losing his children and then later, he has new children and it heals some of his sorrow. This is every dead thing being healed—the actual thing that was barren or thirsty or afflicted—this very thing coming back to life as it is bathed in the waters of life. And to me, that means that each specific pain, each figurative hole left in my heart by sin or hurt or misunderstanding, will be specifically and individually healed. Not just "made up for by a different good thing later"—but healed and made, in itself, whole.

Maybe there isn't that much difference between "bad made up for by good later" and "bad turned to good," I don't know. To me it seems significant. I'll try to describe why with an example I can't actually give much detail on, so forgive me, but it's this:

When I was pregnant with Clementine, one of my children said some things that hurt me deeply. This child did not intend or realize the extent of the hurt caused, and indeed apologized soon after, and the whole incident only spanned a few days and I forgave and we all moved on. But the "scar" (for lack of a better word) from the hurt was still there and I could not imagine it ever leaving. Every time I thought about it, it hurt again. It became fainter, but it was like an old wound aching and it was deep and real. I couldn't ever imagine looking back and laughing over this thing, or even dismissing it with "oh, kids are so self-centered" or whatever—it was just a pain in my soul that couldn't go away.

It was actually easy to imagine this thing (and I emphasize it was objectively a small thing, but not small to me) being "swallowed up" by all the other good things in my life. It wasn't something I thought about a lot or was bitter about. It was easily and rapidly balanced out by the many good interactions I had with this child, not to mention all the other blessings in my life. As far as "fairness," I had been "repaid" for this bitter wound a thousandfold. But the actual scar from the actual wound did not disappear no matter how much the rest of me was happy, healthy, and blessed—nor did I think it ever would—and it was fine! It didn't affect my life at all and when I did think of it, I just thought of it as a past sadness that was now part of me.

But recently, to my great astonishment, I have felt certain interactions, words, and experiences go down into that wound and start to heal it! It's as if a specific balm for that specific pain was suddenly devised, something that can fit into the hole left by it and actually start to make that scarred skin re-grow! I didn't ask for this or know it could happen. I could not have orchestrated it on my own. But somehow, it's as if I've been given the perfect parallels to the pain I felt—experiences of joy in those very distinct, specific places that were hurt—to the point that though I still can't laugh about that long-past day, I can imagine a day where the hurt really is gone—healed—the skin made new, with no scar.

It's not that scars are all bad. Like I wrote about last week, there are many pains and trials I don't want to forget, or holes I don't want filled, because they contribute to the fullness I am seeking. But this feels like something different—like a promise that we will not just be "compensated" for the pains of this life, but truly blessed through them. Made whole amidst them. And while that seems so paradoxical, somehow through Jesus Christ, it becomes reality.

It's just made me think that if I can begin to feel this with such a small and unimportant and relatively insignificant wound—what of those even-more-painful wounds, losses, and unfairnesses so many people have experienced? Of course Jesus Christ wouldn't forget them! He can send his healing waters into every single dry spot, every dark corner, and when He does, the very thorns that lurked there, the actual dead plants that withered there, will be transformed by those waters. Not sorrows simply balanced out by joy—but each distinct sorrow healed by its perfectly reciprocal and distinct joy.

I am so grateful for the blessings that flow from Jesus Christ—into the dry wilderness, into the thorny wastes, over the parched earth of sadness and regret and unfairness. I marvel at the detailed, specific, perfectly suited ways that He has healed me, and is healing me, and will heal me. How can I help but rejoice at that news?

Alleluia and Merry Christmas!

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We are not afraid of work

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Relief Society Session of the October 2007 Conference.

This post will be published on Christmas Eve, and during this season with so many family gatherings and  adult kids home for the holiday, I've been thinking a lot about the gift of families. I am constantly in awe of the wisdom of God's plan. My family brings so much happiness, so much fullness into my life. At the same time I am so constantly challenged and stretched by trying to love and understand such a multitude of personalities, opinions, talents, and needs! Somehow Heavenly Father designed our families to be simultaneously our work, and our reward for the work. They provide the challenging "clinical material" we need in order to learn patience and sacrifice…but they are also (in the ideal, anyway) a shelter of love and comfort to us when we most need relief. It's just such a surprising, but effective, system! With these thoughts in my head at Christmastime, I loved this Relief Society session focusing on families and women's role within them.

Sister Beck's talk was especially good! I love every word that comes out of that woman's mouth. I didn't know I liked her so much when I heard these talks for the first time; it's only on the re-reading that I've been so impressed. Maybe I just wasn't in the right stage of life for her wisdom before! She says:

Knowing and defending the divine roles of women is so important in a world where women are bombarded with false messages about their identity. Popular media figures on the radio and television set themselves up as authorities and spokespersons for women. While these media messages may contain elements of truth, most preach a gospel of individual fulfillment and self-worship, often misleading women regarding their true identity and worth. These voices offer a counterfeit happiness, and as a result, many women are miserable, lonely, and confused.

The only place Latter-day Saint women will learn the whole and complete truth about their indispensable role in the plan of happiness is in this Church and its doctrine. We know that in the great premortal conflict we sided with our Savior, Jesus Christ, to preserve our potential to belong to eternal families. We know we are daughters of God, and we know what we are to do. Women find true happiness when they understand and delight in their unique role within the plan of salvation. The things women can and should do very best are championed and taught without apology here.

This resonated with me so much. Motherhood (and marriage too, really) brings so much opportunity for self-doubt and discouragement as it seems perfectly designed to reveal your own shortcomings one after another! So it brings me so much comfort and peace knowing that I am supposed to fill these roles, I am designed to fill these roles, and their difficulty is not because I'm not suited for them, but because they're meant to stretch me and make me grow! I don't know how I could possibly face my own inadequacies if I didn't know that women are meant precisely for this—and thus I am meant to love and nurture—it is my heritage from Heavenly Mother! I find so much strength in knowing that as I continue working at these divine roles, they will bring me ultimate happiness! I think without this knowledge, I would certainly give up the fight!

Sister Beck continues:

We believe in the formation of eternal families. That means we believe in getting married. We know that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. That means we believe in having children. We have faith that with the Lord’s help we can be successful in rearing and teaching children. These are vital responsibilities in the plan of happiness, and when women embrace those roles with all their hearts, they are happy! Knowing and defending the truth about families is the privilege of every sister in this Church.…

Families mean work, but they are our great work—and we are not afraid of work.

A friend of mine said that phrase to me once: "It will be a lot of work, but I'm not afraid of work." It has stuck with me ever since, and I've tried to make it true for me. I think it's mostly true for me. I am often afraid of the unknown, of disappointment, of falling short, all those things—but even if I may dread the work ahead and be daunted by the prospect of it, once I start doing it I can usually just buckle down and do it. I feel connected to my heritage, my grandmothers and great-grandmothers, when I work to bless my family. And I'm so glad to have that heritage, giving me the counterintuitive knowledge that such work, serving others, will bring great happiness to the person doing it! It's so hard to believe it when I'm feeling sorry for myself and overwhelmed and put-upon, but it's true and I've felt it! Sister Beck says that outright here:

Each of you has your own burdens and challenges, which give you the blessing of turning to the Lord for help. We also have the opportunity to assist the Lord by providing relief for others, which is the greatest, fastest solution to loneliness and hopelessness and a sure way to obtain the companionship of the Spirit.

I also loved this great line:

You will receive the help of the Holy Spirit as you focus on essentials and will be given the courage to forego the frivolous.

The "courage to forego the frivolous," to be unafraid of work, and to know exactly what her role is in God's plan! What more could a woman ask for? This gospel has everything we need to bring us the greatest fulfillment and happiness. I'm so grateful for it!

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Saint-Calixte and the Lake House

Before we ever left for Quebec, Malachi decided that he wanted to go home to Utah halfway through, to go to a debate tournament. He was talking about driving (what??? as if we would have let him drive alone across the entire country…in our car) and when I said no way to that, said he would buy his own plane ticket. Well. Sam and I finally agreed since it was his own money. And when he found a pretty good deal to Salt Lake from the Montreal Airport (about a three hour drive from Quebec City), we decided we would go down and stay in Montreal surrounding the days Malachi would be gone, so we could take him to the airport and pick him up without making the whole trip twice.

We wanted to visit Montreal at some point anyway, so it was a good excuse to do it! We found a house in Saint-Calixte, about forty minutes from Montreal (which sounds like it wasn't such a great efficiency after all, but it was forty minutes out in a different direction, not towards Quebec City, and everywhere is far from the actual city of Montreal because traffic is so bad!). After we had booked the rental house, I realized that Saint-Calixte is very near to Sainte-Julienne, where we stayed with the older boys (and baby Teddy!) years ago when Sam did a workshop at the Schoolism House! So that was a fun coincidence. We never got into Montreal proper on that trip at all, but we remember the countryside as being so beautiful and were excited to see it again!

The house we ended up staying at was so cool. It was on the tiniest little island, just big enough for the house and a little yard. You drove in on a small driveway and then were completely surrounded by water! It was beautiful! There were some boats we could use, and I wasn't sure how much we would get to use them, but the kids ended up loving them and getting pretty good with them, so they spent hours rowing around the little lake! So fun. 

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Off the Field and Onto the Floor

If you enjoyed the previous Hallmark Movie, you'll love this one!

Famous soccer player Jacques Hopkin is devastated when a career-ending knee injury sidelines him. But will Miss Sophy's dance studio be the unexpected solution to all his problems?

(This one is worth watching for Daisy's accent alone!😂)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GKTZaF7LNw

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Apple Cider at Fall Times

I must humbly ask the forgiveness of my Dear Readers. I have been terribly remiss in not sharing these videos with you earlier! My girls found themselves at loose ends while we were in Quebec and decided to make "Hallmark movies." They are so good and so funny! I don't know how the girls became such good actors. They seem to have a knack for it!

First, we have "Apple Cider at Fall Times," which Daisy summarizes thus:

When big-city man Jake Collins visits a smalltown cidery, Goldie Ginger is unimpressed. But will the two be able to overcome their differences and pursue the warmer feelings that are beginning to spark between them?

Well? Can you resist such a description? Watch it and find out!

(YouTube link: https://youtu.be/36gj92_BvJo)

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Guests in Quebec

I was hoping that some people would come and visit us while we were in Quebec, because it seemed like it would be so fun to show everyone our favorite things! Our older boys came, and that was wonderful, but I didn't know if anyone else would make it. (My mom was thinking of coming, but then couldn't, so that was sad.) But one day Sam got a random message to his work email from one of Malachi's friends, asking if he could come and visit Malachi on a certain weekend! We hardly even know the boy, Evan, but I knew he was a nice kid (all of Ky's friends are) so we said yes—and then he asked us to keep it a surprise for Ky! I was hoping Ky actually liked him and wouldn't be unpleasantly surprised by the visit, haha.

And then, my friend Andrea who lives in Maine and so kindly let us stay in her house on our way to Quebec, decided she wanted to come visit too! With her eight kids! (Actually, two of her kids are grown and living elsewhere now. But then she has a French exchange student living with her too. So seven kids.) I was super excited to see her but also had to tell her, "Okay, but you understand we have no extra beds, right? So you'll all just be sleeping wherever we can manage to put you? Probably the floor?" She said she was up for that, and so it was decided! And…it was the same weekend that Evan was coming!

That's 19 people staying in our little house, if you're counting.

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Gently bestowed

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 2007 Conference.

Regarding miracles and tender mercies: I have noticed that the "smaller" the miracle (meaning more specific, personal, and/or of relative unimportance), the more miraculous and personally impactful it can feel. (I've written about this before.) It's just so unbelievable to think of the God of the Universe concerning himself with my washing machine, or my child's lost stuffed animal, or anything like that. So I loved this quote from Elder Robert D. Hales:

By unwavering faith, we learn for ourselves that “it is by faith that miracles are wrought.”

Generally, those miracles will not be physical demonstrations of God’s power—parting of the Red Sea, raising of the dead, breaking down prison walls, or the appearance of heavenly messengers. By design, most miracles are spiritual demonstrations of God’s power—tender mercies gently bestowed through impressions, ideas, feelings of assurance, solutions to problems, strength to meet challenges, and comfort to bear disappointments and sorrow.

Other posts in this series:

Service—by Rozy

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You are missing from me

I'm writing this somewhere in South Dakota, sitting in the passenger seat of our van and looking out at the endless rolling grasses, so different from the trees and rivers and lakes we've left on the road behind us. I'm surrounded by coats and shoes and stuffed animals that have been thrown at me by exuberant and/or fighting children. I'm thinking about what needs to be done when we get home. Unpacking, of course. Cleaning up the inevitable grime that it didn't ever occur to Seb, dear boy, to even look at in the past six months. Laundry. Wrapping the pile of Christmas presents that arrived in the mail while we were gone. Figuring out a new schedule as we re-start piano lessons, ballet, regular school, Malachi's new job, and on and on and on. 

But I don't want to think about all those things. I want to think about where we were, what I miss. I don't know why I miss it so much when I have so much good to return to. Anyway, how much can you miss something you've only known for half a year? How much can you love it?

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We remember Him and come to love Him

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 2007 Conference.

I've probably read Elder Eyring's "O Remember, Remember" talk ten times, because it's where he talks about keeping a journal of how he saw the Lord's hand in his life, and I re-read it when I'm working on my own such journal (which I call a "tender mercies" book—I always re-read the Elder Bednar talk about the Lord's tender mercies too).

And it's fitting that I write about this "remembering" talk this week, our last week in Quebec, because remembering has been such a theme for us this place—je me souviens!

This time, I noticed some new things in the talk, though, probably because I had just barely read his priesthood session talk (which I wrote about last week) and he repeated some of the same themes. It's interesting when you can find clues to what the apostles are thinking and pondering at a given time in their lives! In the priesthood session talk Elder Eyring described how important it is for our confidence to remember how much God has helped us in the past. In this talk he zeros in on that teaching to urge us to proactively do something to make sure we remember! He says:

When we struggle, as so many do…the enemy of our souls can send his evil message that there is no God or that if He exists He does not care about us. Then it can be hard for the Holy Ghost to bring to our remembrance the lifetime of blessings the Lord has given us from our infancy and in the midst of our distress.

That's true. Part of the reason we even need to "remember" is because our natural tendency is to forget! So, Elder Eyring says, we should use this "simple cure" (fix your forgetting problems with this one weird trick!😄):

The key to the remembering that brings and maintains testimony is receiving the Holy Ghost as a companion. It is the Holy Ghost who helps us see what God has done for us. It is the Holy Ghost who can help those we serve to see what God has done for them.

And not surprisingly, doing this goes back to the cycle of the Doctrine of Christ and our covenant promises:

Heavenly Father has given a simple pattern for us to receive the Holy Ghost not once but continually in the tumult of our daily lives. The pattern is repeated in the sacramental prayer: We promise that we will always remember the Savior. We promise to take His name upon us. We promise to keep His commandments. And we are promised that if we do that, we will have His Spirit to be with us. Those promises work together in a wonderful way to strengthen our testimonies and in time, through the Atonement, to change our natures as we keep our part of the promise.…

When we persist in doing that, we receive the gifts of the Holy Ghost to give us power in our service. We come to see the hand of God more clearly, so clearly that in time we not only remember Him, but we come to love Him and, through the power of the Atonement, become more like Him.

I love that cycle: trying to keep the commandments and so receiving the spirit, then seeing God's hand because of the Spirit, then loving God more and wanting to serve Him more because of seeing His hand in our lives!

I also love Elder Eyring's answer to the question (a good one!) about what happens when someone doesn't have a place to jump into the cycle, perhaps someone (as he says) "who knows nothing about God and claims no memory of spiritual experiences at all?" Even for that person, he says:

Even before people receive the right to the gifts of the Holy Ghost, when they are confirmed as members of the Church, and even before the Holy Ghost confirms truth to them before baptism, they have spiritual experiences. The Spirit of Christ has already, from their childhood, invited them to do good and warned them against evil. They have memories of those experiences even if they have not recognized their source. That memory will come back to them as missionaries or we teach them the word of God and they hear it. They will remember the feeling of joy or sorrow when they are taught the truths of the gospel.

I find this so comforting when I think of my loved ones who don't seem to remember or believe that God is working in their lives. I get scared that their unbelief will always just lead to more unbelief until they're lost forever, but that's not how God works. He works so hard and so patiently to bring us back! He has been involved in our lives "from our childhood" (Elder Eyring also emphasized that in the priesthood session talk)—for every person on earth! And so I can have faith that He will keep patiently waiting for the right time, the right stage of readiness, the softening of the heart—and then He will send His spirit at that exact time to help my loved ones remember what they once felt and once saw. God will show them that He has always been there, lovingly working in their lives, even when they didn't know it. I love to think of that time of realization coming in their lives, and maybe it will come as I show an example of remembering God's hand in my own life!

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Spooky Walk, Lost Gus, and Halloween

 

Do people celebrate Halloween in Québec, you ask? Yes. They do. I don't know if they do trick-or-treating quite like Americans do (but there is some form of it…though when we asked a friend who grew up here, "What do French speakers say at the door for 'trick-or-treat'?", he said, "I don't know, I don't think we say anything. Just hold your bag out for candy!" Hahaha. Shocking!) but there were lots of decorations around the city. I don't know if it's a mischief-making night here like it is in some big cities either? I hope not. We didn't see or hear any mischief going on, but who knows. Anyway, we didn't expect any trick-or-treaters at our house and we didn't get any. And we didn't go out ourselves either. That's only fun when you know your neighbors and all their kids, anyway, in my opinion.

BUT it was fun seeing the Halloween things throughout October and having our own little family Halloween party. We will always remember it!

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St. Patrick's Cemetery

This was a Sunday where everything around the whole city was pretty, every single tree and every single street! After church, Sam and I dropped the kids off at home and drove to an area just a little outside the radius of where we usually walk, a ways past the Plains of Abraham above the river.

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Parc Valéro Les Écarts

We have been to the island so many times, it's kind of funny that we haven't been over the other bridge to Lévis (on the south bank of the Saint Lawrence) very often! We drove down to Montreal that way the first time we went to the temple. And we've been over a couple other times. But it takes long enough to get there that we haven't done it a lot. So it was fun to visit this pretty bike and hiking park (bikers and hikers on separate trails, luckily, ha!) one day when the girls had a Jeunes Filles activity and we had to go that direction anyway!

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Parc Chaveau

This is a great park! It's along the Riviere Saint-Charles about twenty minutes from the city center. Malachi ran out that direction a few times, along the river (he runs 12-13 miles every Saturday without fail) but I don't think he quite got this far. We had a couple good picnics here, though, and it was fun to see the differences between Summer and Fall.

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Pain in service

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the October 2007 Conference.

I loved Elder Eyring's talk, "God Helps the Faithful Priesthood Holder", so much! I don't think I'd ever read it before but it seemed so applicable to anyone feeling inadequate to the great task ahead, which is the state I've been in as a parent for the past ten years or so (and seeming to get less confident as time goes on)!

Elder Eyring starts out by talking about how much confidence we can gain from remembering God's goodness in the past. He describes the assurance he has felt from God while he is praying:

“Haven’t I always looked after you? Think of the times I have led you beside the still waters. Remember the times I have set a table before you in the presence of your enemies. Remember, and fear no evil.”

Then, beautifully, Elder Eyring says this:

So to the new deacons: remember. He has always taken care of you from your childhood. To the new quorum presidents: remember. To you fathers with children who are a challenge to you: remember, and have no fear. What is impossible for you is possible with God’s help in His service. And even when you were very small and in the years since, He has with His power and His Spirit gone before your face and been on your left hand and on your right hand when you went in His service.

Ah! I love that so much! It reminds me of Elder Andersen's luminous stones talk. Just reading this calms my troubled soul because I have to admit, yes! God has always taken care of me! And I see Him taking care of each of my children too. How can I doubt he will keep doing it?

My other favorite part of the talk seems a little contradictory, honestly, in context of this first part. These are words you don't hear very often:

But it is never going to be easy for you or for those you serve. There will always be pain in service.

I understand what he's saying here, actually. It goes along with "what a fulness means" and it's something I'm struggling, little by little, to comprehend. That "pain in service" is real, and feeling it can hurt enough to drop you into exhaustion and discouragement. It can even trick you into thinking that love and service might not be worth it, after all. But that's why Elder Eyring brings it up in the first place—to reassure us that the pain is planned for and doesn't mean we're doing it wrong. He continues:

That is in the nature of what you are called to do. Think of the Savior, whose service you are in. At what point in His mortal life can you see an instance when it was easy for Him? Did He ask easy things of His disciples then? Then why should it ever be easy in His service or for His disciples?

The reason for that is suggested by the phrase “a broken heart,”…The scriptures sometimes speak of people’s hearts being softened, but more often the words describing the state we seek for ourselves and for those we serve are a “broken heart.” This may help us accept that our call to serve and the need for the repentance we need and seek will not be easy. And it helps us understand better why testimony needs to go down into the hearts of our people. Faith that Jesus Christ atoned for their sins has to go down into the heart—a broken heart.

This, too, is "what a fulness means." And Elder Eyring suggests so reasonably and practically what we can do to combat that "pain in service," those feelings of being overwhelmed and inadequate and discouraged:

Now, tonight let us decide together what we are going to do. All of us, whatever our callings may be, face tasks that are beyond our own powers. I do and you do. That’s true from the simple fact that success is to get testimony down into the hearts of people. We can’t make that happen. Even God won’t force that on anyone.

So success requires people we serve to choose to accept the testimony of the Spirit into their hearts. The Spirit is ready. But many people aren’t ready to invite the Spirit. Our task, which is in our power, is to invite the Spirit into our lives so that people we serve will want to have the fruits of the Spirit in their lives—the fruits that they can see in ours.

So this talk helped me learn two things I can do when I feel inadequacy or pain as I try to serve:

1. Remember that God has always helped me and will always help me, and

2. All I really have to do is invite the Spirit into my life, and God will do the rest.

Such beautiful truths to hold onto!

Other posts in this series:

Procrastination—by Rozy

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Félix Leclerc Arboretum

We knew the Île d'Orléans would be beautiful in Fall, and it was. There's basically only the one road around the island, with many intriguing glimpses of little wooded areas that would be so pretty to go off and explore (probably all private property)—but luckily there was a small public trail that looked promising. I'd been hoping we'd find somewhere to walk down through all the trees you can see growing on the hills (banks?) that slope down to the river. It was nice because we got to walk through the forest and also through a sort of marshland.

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Maze games, island pumpkins, and non-festive holidays

Ah, Fall just got lovelier and lovelier in Quebec City! Even just the view from our balcony was breathtaking. Those distant mountains looked so colorful when the air was clear! I took enough pictures for a lifetime but still don't feel like I got enough. How sad to be talking about Fall in past tense now…though I have to admit we've had a very nice November, I certainly can't complain…but I do wish October and the beautiful trees could last forever!

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The transforming power of charity

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 2007 Conference.

Elder Wirthlin gave such a good talk on Christlike love! He helped me realize something new about it. He said:

The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of transformation. It takes us as men and women of the earth and refines us into men and women for the eternities.

I have been aware of and appreciated this function of the gospel already—it's one of the things I most hope for, that I can keep progressing long enough to have this great transformation. But then Elder Wirthlin says this:

The means of this refinement is our Christlike love. There is no pain it cannot soften, no bitterness it cannot remove, no hatred it cannot alter. …

The most cherished and sacred moments of our lives are those filled with the spirit of love. The greater the measure of our love, the greater is our joy. In the end, the development of such love is the true measure of success in life.

When we love the Lord, obedience ceases to be a burden. Obedience becomes a delight. When we love the Lord, we seek less for things that benefit us and turn our hearts toward things that will bless and uplift others.

As our love for the Lord deepens, our minds and hearts become purified. We experience a “mighty change in … our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.”

I never really thought about what it is that effects the transformation from Natural Man into Saint. But it makes so much sense that it's charity or pure love! It makes sense because everything starts with God's love—the Plan of Happiness, our existence here on earth, the gospel of Jesus Christ. "We love Him because He first loved us." Feeling God's love is the start of everything good. And once we feel it, like I wrote about here, it sets off a positive chain reaction of wanting to share love with others—feeling it more ourselves as we do—and seeking to share it even more!

Elder Wirthlin continues:

Because the Savior laid down His life for us, we have a brightness of hope, a confidence and security that when we pass from this worldly existence, we will live again with Him. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can be cleansed of sin and stand as partakers of the gift of our Almighty Father. Then we will know the glory that God “hath prepared for them that love him.”

This is the transforming power of charity.

Knowing that charity has such transformative power—when felt, when sought, when shared—makes me want to seek it even more. I want to feel and benefit from its transforming power!

Other posts in this series:

Payments and Dividends—by Rozy

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Aurora in Quebec City!

 

I never imagined I would get to see the Aurora Borealis at all…let alone in Utah! However, Quebec City does seem like a somewhat more likely place to see them, so when we came here it did cross my mind that they might be visible at some point. But who has time to keep abreast of such things? There are aurora trackers you can check, but…you have to check them! I never think of it!

Luckily there are those in my circle who DO think of it. Sam is one of them. Seb is another. My brother Karl is another. So in October I was made aware that there had been a large coronal mass ejection which might cause aurora. Sam kept an eye on the predictions throughout the next day or two, though, and when it looked like it was going to be disappointing, we forgot about it.

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Ordinary lives among ordinary families

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the October 2007 Conference.

I have no memory of ever hearing President Packer's talk in this session, but I loved it! It was a very personal talk, and I always like hearing people's stories, but I also just liked the reminder of how the power of the church really does come from so many ordinary individuals all just trying their best! Of course it doesn't always work perfectly because we don't work perfectly, but just imagine how amazing it would be if you could duplicate this in any other organization:

Once the gospel is preached and the Church is organized, there is an inexhaustible supply of faithful brothers and sisters who have that testimony and are willing to answer the call to serve. They commit themselves to the work of the Lord and live the standards required of them.

Members have had the Holy Ghost conferred upon them after their baptism. The Holy Ghost will teach and comfort them. They are then prepared to receive guidance, direction, and correction, whatever their position or needs require.

That self-teaching, self-building, self-correcting function that the Holy Ghost serves for each calling is so amazing! I can learn how to teach a bunch of teenagers about Jesus, or how to help a group of children learn songs about the gospel, or how to inspire a group of ladies to dive deeper into the scriptures—even when I have no experience, no real aptitude, no leadership skill—I can learn all of that anyway, step by step, from the Holy Ghost! It's a miracle, and one I've actually experienced multiple times.

President Packer then tells this story:

Forty-six years ago I was a 37-year-old seminary supervisor. My Church calling was as an assistant teacher in a class in the Lindon Ward.

To my great surprise, I was called to meet with President David O. McKay. He took both of my hands in his and called me to be one of the General Authorities, an Assistant to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

A few days later, I came to Salt Lake City to meet with the First Presidency to be set apart as one of the General Authorities of the Church. This was the first time I had met with the First Presidency—President David O. McKay and his counselors, President Hugh B. Brown and President Henry D. Moyle.

President McKay explained that one of the responsibilities of an Assistant to the Twelve was to stand with the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as a special witness and to bear testimony that Jesus is the Christ. What he said next overwhelmed me: “Before we proceed to set you apart, I ask you to bear your testimony to us. We want to know if you have that witness.”

I did the best I could. I bore my testimony the same as I might have in a fast and testimony meeting in my ward. To my surprise, the Brethren of the Presidency seemed pleased and proceeded to confer the office upon me.

That puzzled me greatly, for I had supposed that someone called to such an office would have an unusual, different, and greatly enlarged testimony and spiritual power.

It puzzled me for a long time until finally I could see that I already had what was required: an abiding testimony in my heart of the Restoration of the fulness of the gospel through the Prophet Joseph Smith, that we have a Heavenly Father, and that Jesus Christ is our Redeemer. I may not have known all about it, but I did have a testimony, and I was willing to learn.

I just like that so much. Even though I know objectively speaking that "church leaders" aren't some special class of people (and obviously I have seen church leaders be all-too-human in certain situations, and have been an all-too-human leader myself)—I still find myself thinking, "Well, the Seventies, though! And the Twelve Apostles! They really are a special sort of person with a special sort of testimony." And of course in one sense that's true. They are experienced and wise. They have special keys. But for some reason it just seems so powerful to me what President Packer says here, that anyone might have what is required to be a special witness of Christ: "an abiding testimony…of the Restoration of the fulness of the gospel through the Prophet Joseph Smith, that we have a Heavenly Father, and that Jesus Christ is our Redeemer." I guess it's powerful to me because I DO have that! And just like Elder Packer was, I am willing to learn! And that is really enough to serve in any position God requires!

President Packer continues:

As General Authorities of the Church, we are just the same as you are, and you are just the same as we are. You have the same access to the powers of revelation for your families and for your work and for your callings as we do.

It is also true that there is an order to things in the Church. When you are called to an office, you then receive revelation that belongs to that office that would not be given to others.

No member of the Church is esteemed by the Lord as more or less than any other. It just does not work that way! Remember, He is a father—our Father. The Lord is “no respecter of persons.”

We are not worth more to the onrolling of the Lord’s work than were Brother and Sister Toutai Paletu‘a in Nuku‘alofa, Tonga; or Brother and Sister Carlos Cifuentes in Santiago, Chile; or Brother and Sister Peter Dalebout in the Netherlands; or Brother and Sister Tatsui Sato of Japan; or hundreds of others I have met while traveling about the world. It just does not work that way.

And so the Church moves on. It is carried upon the shoulders of worthy members living ordinary lives among ordinary families, guided by the Holy Ghost and the Light of Christ, which is in them.

I love that, and it inspires me to do a little better in my little part of the church, wherever I am and whatever my calling is!

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Stretch themselves again and again

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Young Women's Session of the April 2007 Conference.

In Sister Julie B. Beck's talk this session, there were two thoughts about repentance I really liked. First, I liked the way she applied this scripture (originally given to Joseph Smith) to all of us:

It is Satan who puts hopeless thoughts into the hearts of those who have made mistakes. The Lord Jesus Christ always gives us hope. He says:

"Thou wast chosen to do the work of the Lord, but because of transgression, if thou art not aware thou wilt fall. 

"But remember, God is merciful; therefore, repent of that which thou hast done which is contrary to the commandment which I gave you, and thou art still chosen, and art again called to the work."

And I really liked this quote she shared from President Kimball too:

The cultivation of Christlike qualities is a demanding and relentless task—it is not for the seasonal worker or for those who will not stretch themselves, again and again.

The stretching process isn't easy, but it results in growth, and I do want growth!

Other posts in this series:

Modesty is more than just not showing skin—by Rozy

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You will come to know Him better

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the April 2007 Conference.

I loved Elder Eyring's talk in this session! I want to quote all of it, but I'll confine myself to a few favorite parts. He starts out by citing a bunch of scriptures that talk about the importance of "this day" and warn against delaying our choice to commit to God. Then he talks about how easy it is to forget the urgency of "this day":

All of us will need His help to avoid the tragedy of procrastinating what we must do here and now to have eternal life. For most of us the temptation to delay will come from one or both of two feelings. They are polar opposites: one is to be complacent about what we have already done, and the other is to feel overwhelmed by the need to do more.…

Complacency can affect even the seasoned adult. The better and the longer you serve, the more likely that the tempter can place this lie in your mind: “You have earned a rest.” You may have been the Primary president in your little branch twice. Or you may have worked long and hard on your mission and sacrificed so much to serve. Or perhaps you were the pioneer in the Church where you live. The thought may come: “Why not leave the service to the new people. I have done my part.” The temptation will be to believe that you will return to serve again, someday.…

This rings so true because I have felt it to some degree myself, and I've seen the results of it in other places. Abe served in a little branch on his mission where there were a number of members who just…got tired of doing everything. Of always being the one with a calling. Of always have to help others. Of never really being appreciated or having a rest. And it totally makes sense! I suppose in a Zion society no one would have to bear those lopsided burdens! But…the trouble is (and this is what Elder Eyring points out), if we start thinking that way, we actually are depriving ourselves of blessings, actually limiting our own ability to have joy in God's service. Elder Eyring says:

It is hard to know when we have done enough for the Atonement to change our natures and so qualify us for eternal life. And we don’t know how many days we will have to give the service necessary for that mighty change to come. But we know that we will have days enough if only we don’t waste them.…

In the hardest trials, as long as you have the power to pray, you can ask a loving God: “Please let me serve, this day. It doesn’t matter to me how few things I may be able to do. Just let me know what I can do. I will obey this day. I know that I can, with Thy help.”

Then he continues:

For those who are discouraged by their circumstances and are therefore tempted to feel they cannot serve the Lord this day, I make you two promises. Hard as things seem today, they will be better in the next day if you choose to serve the Lord this day with your whole heart. Your circumstances may not be improved in all the ways which you desire. But you will have been given new strength to carry your burdens and new confidence that when your burdens become too heavy, the Lord, whom you have served, will carry what you cannot. He knows how. He prepared long ago. He suffered your infirmities and your sorrows when He was in the flesh so that He would know how to succor you.

The other promise I make to you is that by choosing to serve Him this day, you will feel His love and grow to love Him more.…

By serving Him this day, you will come to know Him better. You will feel His love and appreciation. You would not want to delay receiving that blessing. And feeling His love will draw you back to His service, wiping away both complacency and discouragement.

It's so fitting that God's love—which we feel more and more as we serve Him and His children—is the cure for both extremes, for the complacency and for the discouragement. It's exactly what every person needs. And it's available to us at all times! We just have to begin somewhere (this day!), reaching for that love by making some effort to serve the people around us.

Other posts in this series:

"Mom, are we Christians?"—by Rozy

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Quebec City mornings

I love the early mornings here in the city, and when I manage to get outside for a walk I love them even more. I don't ever get tired of seeing all the landmarks in different weather and different light. Someone said to me the other day (when we were in Montreal), "I think Quebec City is the most beautiful city in North America." I think so too! Every one of these little vignettes could be its own postcard, especially when no people are out and the light is just right (and with Fall in full swing!), but taken together in real life they are breathtaking. I feel so lucky to live here and get to know these places for myself!

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Festival de Magie, Conference, Cruise Ships, etc.

In September, the "Festival de Magie de Québec" came to Quebec City. For several days, there were free magic shows all afternoon in Place d'Youville up the street, and there were magic classes and bigger magic shows in the evening in a couple different venues. It was also our neighborhood's annual street fair, so there was lots to go see and do! Rue Saint-Jean was closed to cars, and the stores moved their merchandise outside onto tables or under tents. Very festive. As we walked along the street, we also saw lots of little crowds gathering around various wandering magicians (from the festival, no doubt) out demonstrating their tricks. I told Malachi he should come out and do card tricks (you wouldn't believe the amazing things he can do, I am in awe) but I don't think he ever did.

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Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupré

Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupré is the name of a cathedral (and the town by the cathedral) not far from Quebec City. ("Sanctuary-Shrine," its website says. And basilica. So…not a cathedral? I don't know.) We see signs for it every day, and we see the spires of it in the distance when we drive to L'Île d'Orléans or up the river toward Tadoussac. But we kept putting off actually visiting it…because it was so close and easy, I guess. I kept weighing it against other excursions and thinking, "Well, we can go to Sainte-Anne anytime…" Finally when the Fall weather was at its best I thought, "Won't we be sorry if we miss it altogether!" So we packed our obligatory picnic (truly, you have never known such picnickers as us on this trip…it borders on the absurd) and went.

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Healing power and hope

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the April 2007 Conference.

I remember Elder Oaks' talk from this session with a great weight of memory. When I read it, I immediately travel back to that time. It's not a happy time, not easy to write about. At the time of this conference, Sam and I were divorced. Yes, we divorced for a brief time. There is so much backstory and context I could put around that statement, but it's not something I've ever wanted to hide—just something that's hard to bring up out of nowhere, especially since our life has (thanks be to God!) moved on to such a happier place now. (And if you're thinking, "Well, I'm sure it wasn't her fault!"—it's not true. It was my fault.)

So when I heard Elder Oaks say his first words—"I have felt impressed to speak about divorce"—I knew he was talking to me. But not in the usual, benign way, "the Lord inspired this message and it feels like it could be just for me!"—no. You see, my parents are friends with Elder Oaks and I knew they had written to him about my circumstances. So I was pretty sure this talk was actually written because of me. As I listened to it at this difficult time, I didn't disagree with any of his points. I wasn't even offended when he said things like…

The kind of marriage required for exaltation—eternal in duration and godlike in quality—does not contemplate divorce.

and 

I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance.

and

Think first of the children.

I knew he was right. I even agreed with him, in theory. But I felt great and far-reaching despair because I assumed I had already failed, already forfeited my chance at obeying these doctrines.

The story of the next few months and years is too much to be told here—I would tell you in person, if you asked me. For now I will just say that Elder Oaks' advice that in a marriage, both spouses

should balance current disappointments against the good of the past and the brighter prospects of the future

—felt literally impossible to follow for me at that time. I saw no brighter prospects and I could hardly believe in them. Only unbroken dimness ahead as far as I could imagine. I'm sure Satan was working as hard as he could to make me believe that was all there would ever be, and I believed him, for a time. But now I can see that Elder Oaks was right. There was a much brighter future ahead. And I also believe in this promise as I could not dream of believing it then:

Under the law of the Lord, a marriage, like a human life, is a precious, living thing. If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them. We do not give up. While there is any prospect of life, we seek healing again and again. The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him, the Lord will help us and heal us.

Re-reading this talk brings, as I said, a great weight of memory with it. In spite of all I've learned since that time, I'm still learning and processing my experiences. I still feel sadness thinking back on them, though the sadness has mellowed. Oddly, I found peace this time in reading the talk that came before Elder Oaks' talk, by President Faust about Forgiveness. He quotes Brigham Young as saying:

Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation.

I know this doesn't excuse sin and it doesn't take away agency and consequences. But it is comforting doctrine. I can see many so ways I have grown since this, and in part because of this, difficult time. Those lessons were necessary for my growth. There were significant blessings along the way. And Sam's and my marriage has grown too. I look back now, as I could not then, with the perspective that President Oaks described for couples who worked through marriage difficulties:

[They] emerged with their marriages even stronger. That prospect began with their mutual commitment to keep the commandments, stay active in their Church attendance, scripture reading, and prayer, and to work on their own shortcomings. They “recognized the importance and power of the Atonement for their spouse and for themselves,” and “they were patient and would try again and again.”

And I can be thankful for this most important lesson of all, one I began to learn from divorce many years ago and and am still learning now through my continuing experiences:

All who have been through divorce know the pain and need the healing power and hope that come from the Atonement.

I do know that. And I am grateful to know that. These experiences are leading me, as Brigham Young said, toward salvation, and I am so thankful that they are!

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