Bathed in help even during turbulent times

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the April 2010 Conference. 

We started a new decade of General Conference sessions! This is the last full decade we have left and then we'll start on the 2020's! 

There were so many good talks in this session, and each of them seemed to have some pertinent advice for my challenges right now. I particularly liked Sister Julie B. Beck's talk “And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit.” It reminded me of something else I read lately by one of my favorite Catholic writers and mothers, Leila Lawler. She was writing about the concept, much fretted over in some circles these days, of the disproportionate "mental load" women supposedly bear:

The woman of the house indeed has a lot on her mind, because her mind encompasses every facet of life instead of one circumscribed slice of it. She cares for her home, the bodies in it, the neighborhood outside it. She is building the one place upon which it all depends.

Casting this effort as an intolerable burden on her, emphasizing that she is not paid for it, and inciting in her a chafing rebellion against it, undermines her value.

Frankly, the voices of “mental load” amplify narcissism, seeking to convince the wife that she is the only one who is thinking about anything! It is a psy-op, a disruptive tactic.

At the same time, they insidiously cast doubt on her strength for the task. How belittling!

It’s the spirit of contempt, not of cooperation; it creates an atmosphere of conflict, not of collaboration. It hits at the heart of the marital bond of complementary love.

Because after all, everyone has a lot on his mind, not only the mother. The husband relies on his wife to juggle certain — most — details because he is quietly, often stoically, handling others. The children require a world of stability, maintained by a loving heart, so they can be free for the adventure of learning, well, everything.

Making life good for these loved ones is precisely the wonderful and completely voluntary path we housewives undertook when we said “I do.” That it entails work should not come as a surprise.…

Why would we complain about keeping common sense in the world? Get a calendar, write things on the blackboard, organize some of your things, smile as you remind about picking up milk.

Your job is a great one — don’t listen to the serpents who wish to disturb your garden.

I love that reminder not to dwell on "unfairness" and whether or not we should "have to" bear the burdens of wifehood and motherhood. Does focusing on that make anyone happier? Does it lead to clearer vision or greater gratitude? And here is Sister Beck saying essentially the same thing, fifteen years ago:

A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important. A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently.

Then she gives such an inspiring vision of how personal revelation can help the busy woman "bear up her burdens with ease":

Revelation can come hour by hour and moment by moment as we do the right things. When women nurture as Christ nurtured, a power and peace can descend to guide when help is needed. For instance, mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children. Being in the right places allows us to receive guidance. It requires a conscious effort to diminish distractions, but having the spirit of revelation makes it possible to prevail over opposition and persist in faith through difficult days and essential routine tasks. Personal revelation gives us the understanding of what to do every day to increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek those who need our help. Because personal revelation is a constantly renewable source of strength, it is possible to feel bathed in help even during turbulent times.

I loved the implicit trust she shows in our ability to grow up, leave selfishness behind, and truly be women of God:

Entrance into Relief Society signifies that a woman can be trusted and relied upon to make a significant contribution in the Church. She continues to progress as an individual without receiving much outward credit or praise.

She references the Eliza R. Snow quote I've written about before:

Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities.

and then Sister Beck elaborates:

We know we are successful if we live so that we qualify for, receive, and know how to follow the Spirit. When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves. We can feel certain that the Lord is pleased when we feel the Spirit working through us. Peace, joy, and hope are available to those who measure success properly.

I love that so much. It makes me want to straighten my shoulders and refuse to be enticed by the temptation to complain and feel sorry for myself! Why should I? I have the greatest calling in the world, and the means to fulfill it, through the grace of Jesus Christ and the power of God through covenants. If that doesn't bring me "peace, joy, and hope," what will?