Things we accept in fictional dialogue, that are never actually said in real life

Exhibit A: the repeated fragment (aka "the Lord of the Rings Movie Rule").
"Oh Samwise, will we ever reach the end of this dark place?"
"Indeed we will, Mr. Frodo. Indeed we will."

I think this one is intended to add weight and finality to a saying that doesn't have enough weight on its own. You feel you can't simply end the scene/chapter with "Sure we will!" so you add in another just for good measure.

Exhibit B: The prescient interruption
M: I don't know if you're mad or . . .
P: Desperately in love?

Interrupting to finish someone else's sentence? Who's quick enough on the uptake to do that? Takes too much foreknowledge on the part of the interrupter. And even if that part worked out, the interuptee would still be finishing his/her original sentence, rendering the interruption too hard to hear/decipher.


Exhibit C. The lovey-dovey full name (aka the "Work and the Glory" rule)

"You'll be the death of me yet, Jenny McGee!"

[often used in combination with exhibit A:
"You're a spirited woman, Jenny McGee! A spirited woman!"]

According to books and movies, there's no term of spousal endearment like the full name. (A close second: calling your wife "Mrs. ___": "What a woman you are, Mrs. McGee! Come and kiss me!") But I've never heard this usage in real life. For the child in trouble, yes. But for your spouse? What are you, a telephone directory? If your spouse doesn't know who is being referred to when they hear their first name alone, something is wrong. ("Jenny? Jenny who? Oh . . . Jenny McGee! That's ME!") And if you think "Mrs. McGee" is a good substitute for "darling" . . . something is also wrong.


Well? Any others?

10 comments

  1. I don't have any more bad examples (yours were too good), but I think there are good examples of this, too. Like nearly any witty exchange in a Jane Austen book or Oscar Wilde play. But we accept those BECAUSE it's _so much better_ than anything we'd say in real life. It's like geek fantasy for linquists.

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  2. And no, "linquist" wasn't the word verification. That's just me typing like an idiot.

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  3. Totally true, Sam (not about your typing---it could happen to any of us). Lines such as "To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness" or "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."

    I only wish I could say things like that in casual conversation.

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  4. I gotta tell you that I pretty much finish EVERYBODY'S sentences. Not so much evidence of a quick mind, but of impatient arrogance, I think. Quick? Yeah. Appropriate? Not so much.

    Actually, when you use a full name like that, it's usually when you're really mad - John Sebastian BACH, look at the MESS all OVER this HARPSICHORD!!!" So if anybody did that to me, even in the sweetest terms, I'd be looking for the entrance to the doghouse . . .

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  5. Oh, so much I love the losing parent line. Wish I had that kind of thing in me, dang it.

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  6. This post was awesome, Marilyn Nelson Nielson, this post was awesome!

    I laughed so hard, especially at the Work and the Glory one because that really got to me when I was reading all 10,000 pages of the series how Nathan would always say "I love you, Lydia McBride" and then she would always kiss him fiercely. That just doesn't sound right to kiss someone fiercely. Does it?

    Discuss.

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  7. I (until last week that is) referred to Joel ALL THE TIME as "President Williams" just to taunt him. It was so much fun and it never ceased to get to him. Tee hee. I love just thinking about the ways I continuously needle him. Saying to him, "High Councilman Williams" just doesn't sound as good, but I don't mind. There's too many awesome high council jokes to get him with now. I've moved on to a higher/lower set of jokes now! Ha ha!

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  8. Rob is the master of the prescient interruption and it is very, very, VERY annoying.

    But thanks for brightening my day, and kudos on forming an actual thought so soon after childbirth. Were I the comparing type, I'd feel inadequate.

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  9. I've always thought that line from LOTR was awkward. Also, the one where Frodo says they'll also remember Sam in future songs. Lines like those only work in epic fantasy I've decided. I imagine it took several takes to get them just right. How did Daisy's 2 week appt go?

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  10. Marilyn, you are absolutely hilarious.
    And I can offer one example of endearing full-name usage. My brother in law is referred to as Michael Burns by all of us, including his wife. I think it's partly to distinguish him from my brother Mike. But it really is a term of endearment. In fact, on one family occasion he was selected to give the closing prayer at church. When the bishopric member who was conducting announced that Michael Burns would offer the closing prayer, it actually struck me as strange. "That's kind of a personal thing to be announcing from the pulpit."

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