Monday, November 5, 2012

Random Thoughts, Curmudgeon Edition

I recently passed by a billboard that urged, "Don't let good food go bad!" Stricken to the core by this public-spirited message, I promptly abandoned my previous determination to let the rest of the food in my fridge rot. Thanks, "Food Safety Working Group"!

Speaking of idiotic ad campaigns, I can't help being struck by Bach homes' slogan, "Don't be a chicken: get Bach Bach Bach." Surely anyone could see that if you "get Bach Bach Bach," you ARE being a chicken? And if they didn't want the negative connotation of "chicken," why did they bring it up?

I really can't stand the phrase "little ol' me."

You know what would impress me? Someone who could go through her house selecting which lights she wanted on or off, and then flipping the corresponding light switches in a confident and unerring manner. 4+ years in this house, and it still takes me three tries to get the living room light on every morning.

Sam has sign language interpreters that come to help one of the students in his class at BYU. He was telling me they occasionally appear perplexed. "What were you talking about when they seemed confused?", I asked. "I think it was after I started talking about 'Peter and the Leviathan,'" he said.

It annoys me when a company's slogan purports to speak for its customers. For example, our health insurance website that calls itself "My Cigna," or loyalty programs called "My Rewards" or "My Way" or whatever.  Don't put words in my mouth, especially inane/falsely perky phrases I would never actually use. It's condescending and makes me hate you.

Here's a parenting reality I never anticipated: the perpetual, subconscious awareness that one of your kids might throw up. It can lurk dormant for months at a time, but the second I hear a certain type of throat-clearing/cough coming from the kids' bedroom, or the moment someone starts crying for no reason at the dinner table, this awareness spurs me into instant supersonic action. (Sometimes to no purpose, but better safe than sorry!)

It's funny how quickly something cute (your kids singing songs from "The Sound of Music" around the house) can turn into a sort of never-ending nightmare.

From the great Thomas Sowell: "Wishful thinking is not idealism. It is self-indulgence at best and self-exaltation at worst. In either case, it is usually at the expense of others. In other words, it is the opposite of idealism."

3 comments:

  1. Laughing my head off. Oh, the irony that one woman's beef is another one's dark chocolate. Do you, honestly now - ever yell at the radio and TV? Especially when they shovel out declarative imperatives? BUY THIS!! VOTE FOR THIS!! CALL NOW!! I have to admit that, now the kids are gone, I often answer right handily, "The HELL I WILL." One I love: "You DESERVE (fill in the blank with something that will cost you money and make them profit)," How devalued the language has been ever since somebody got it into their heads to produce newspapers. No, snake oil probably started it.

    And today I am particularly fasted (umm- thank you new OS that just decided I was particularly "fasted" without asking me) is this: The ward announced the date of the Christmas party a couple of weeks ago. I have a traditional Christmas party every year and had picked a date = I have people flying in for it - and hurray, the ward thing was the week BEFORE.

    Then my friends who are the activity committee wanted desperately to do MY Christmas pageant, the one the primary forced me to write about thirty years ago. And I went to great lengths (heights, actually, as the bools were on the top shelf) to find the book and script for the thing. They ran gleefully off, ready to pull of a MAJOR Christ-centered party -

    And yesterday, I get the ward newsletter, in which they announce that the party will be on - what date? THE ONE I ALREADY INVITED 35 people to attend - the safe one, the one clear of the old date. Then my friends went to China. THEY WENT TO CHINA. And I can't get hold of them, and I can't change it. And I'm VERY FRUSTRATED. Not only that, but LDS tools, a nifty little smart phone thing that has your whole ward organization on it? Doesn't work anymore. So before I realized they had gone to China, I spent hours trying to figure that our while I was sick at home from church yesterday.

    So. There you are. Curmudgeons unite.

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  2. Jordan was particularly entertained last week when he saw me rushing to place a newspaper in front of the cat seconds before he produced a lovely little hairball. I made it just in time.

    This is wonderful assortment of things, Marilyn.

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  3. A perfect start to the holiday season. =) After five years I still can't remember which light switch to use for my kitchen.

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