This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Welfare Session of the October 1979 Conference.
Paradoxically, the most successful way to assist someone in need is by leading them into the service of others…
It [is] when they [give] of themselves in the Lord’s way that their circumstances [begin] to improve.and here:
Let us be ever mindful that the greatest blessing of the welfare system is derived by the givers.What I've been pondering this week is how to take advantage of this principle in our family life.
As I've worried about certain of my children this week, I keep thinking that what they truly need are the blessings of service described above. They need those "blessings derived by the givers"! But how can I teach THEM that that's what they need?
Occasionally we do service projects together. The children have household jobs, of course, and I try to emphasize how those things are a way of serving the family. Their primary classes and youth groups also give them periodic chances to serve. But…I don't know if any of those things are teaching that explicit cause-and-effect relationship: When I serve, I am the one who benefits. When I need to improve my circumstances, that is when I should seek to improve someone else's!
I know the blessings are greatest when service is given freely and consciously. I know I should "teach correct principles" and then leave the rest to their own agency. So how can I help my children be "givers," not because they have to, but because they want to? I know it would help them with their own struggles, if only they could see that vision!
Other posts in this series:
Other posts in this series:
- Losing What Your Parents Had by G
- Council Meetings by the Handbook by Jan Tolman
Good question! I have similar concerns. One wonderful gift of giving that we participate in every year is our dance group. We work hard at rehearsing with pictures of the elderly on the walls, so that we remember why we are rehearsing. Our director pulls down these pictures and holds them reverently while she talks about how blessed we are to get to serve. Then we go perform for the actual nursing home residents in our community, and the kids go around talking to the people. When the kids are beaming with joy, we moms point out how wonderful it is to serve. I hope these opportunities and teaching moments are helping the kids learn to want to serve.
ReplyDeleteI think the director showing her own reverence for service, and how much she loves serving those specific people, MUST have an effect on the kids! And then your follow-up as moms, explaining to the kids WHY they feel so happy afterward. I love both those ideas. And none of that seems manipulative or coercive. Just like... "Service is great! Come and see!" :)
DeleteYes! That’s the first thought I had as I read the quotes! How can I give my kids this?! I think being assigned to help little ones with things helps. But does it help when they feel grudging about it? I think I perhaps need to just start subtly noticing and encouraging the things that they would enjoy doing for or with a younger sibling. I don’t know that they even have to realize they are serving for it to allow this benefit. Like Goldie loving softball and Penny feeling self conscious because they’ve been playing it at school against each 5th grade class — so having Goldie go out and pitch to Penny, etc. Or Abe help Jesse assemble something. I imagine it is happening all the time at your house and maybe we both just need to become more aware of where and how it already is occurring or easily might and then try to encourage and amplify those opportunities? That might be one small way.
ReplyDeleteYes! This is so good! Starting with things they already are inclined to like...but then showing how doing those things FOR someone else makes them even sweeter! I love that! It seems daunting to just think of "service opportunities" out of thin air, but trying to "amplify" ones that come up naturally seems much more doable.
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