We must first feel our way

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 1979 Conference.

I've been having a lot of conversations, lessons, etc. about recognizing revelation (or following the Holy Spirit…however you want to describe it) lately. It was one of the themes I thought was most prominent in our most recent General Conference, too. And now here is Elder Richard G. Scott, almost forty years ago, with a pointedly relevant insight:

Doubt is spiritual poison that stunts eternal growth. We must first feel our way before we can see it with any clarity. We prove ourselves by making numerous correct decisions without being absolutely sure; then comes a greater knowledge and assurance, not before.

A lady in my ward told a funny story in Relief Society about how, years ago, she had felt a prompting to take some donuts and chocolate milk to the bishop's family. She left the treats on their porch, but unbeknownst to her, the family was in Hawaii that week, and so by the time they got home, what they found waiting for them was just…dried-up donuts and spoiled milk! The lady telling the story was laughing with us about how embarrassed she was, and how she had clearly not felt the "prompting" she thought she had felt to do that little good deed!

But then another lady told a story about how a neighbor had come to visit her at a time she was feeling really sad…and she had refused to even open the door and see the neighbor, but deep down she had still felt the reassurance that God knew her and was aware of her needs. And yet the neighbor likely went away feeling like she'd either misinterpreted or failed at following the spirit!

Another lady suggested that maybe those dried-up donuts and that spoiled milk made a more lasting and memorable reminder of a neighbor's care than the unspoiled treats would have…a story worth telling even years later.

I suppose we all have stories of "feeling our way" in following the spirit. There have been many, many times that I've acted on some impression, feeling slightly sheepish as I do so and even more sheepish afterwards, when it appears that what I did wasn't even helpful or necessary. And I know it's fine, and even inevitable, that we make mistakes as we attempt to follow the Spirit. I think it's good to laugh about it, and try again, and not get discouraged. But I'm also noticing how strong Elder Scott's statement is: "Doubt is spiritual poison that stunts eternal growth. We must first feel our way…"

I'm not saying I need to believe I'm infallible and my every stray thought is the Word of God (obviously)…but maybe I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss my apparent revelation-following failures. Maybe I should trust that God really is able to communicate with me—and that there is always some purpose in the revelation I received, even if it isn't obvious. Maybe I should remember that caring is better than deciding not to try at all!

It's really important to me that I learn to "see with [spiritual] clarity." I want that gift so much! And Elder Scott says the only way to this clarity is to "first feel our way;" resisting doubt while still not being "absolutely sure." There's not some alternate path to spiritual clarity where we ARE always sure! The uncertainty is a necessary part of the process. That makes me resolve to try to be a little more comfortable with the "feeling my way" stage!

Other posts in this series:

• Warnings Offered Before the Flood by G
• Powerful Catchphrases by Jan Tolman