Treasuring up

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Women's Session of the October 1979 Conference.

This week I read the talk given by President Kimball called "The Role of Righteous Women." You know that talk, or at least about it—because Sister Eubank used her entire talk this last October to reiterate and expand on what President Kimball said. She took the charge he gave back then, and passed it on to the women in the church today. I loved her talk, so it's no surprise I loved President Kimball's original, too!

Here are a few highlights. President Kimball said:

I stress again the deep need each woman has to study the scriptures. We want our homes to be blessed with sister scriptorians—whether you are single or married, young or old, widowed or living in a family. 

…Become scholars of the scriptures…After all, who has any greater need to “treasure up” the truths of the gospel (on which they may call in their moments of need) than do women and mothers who do so much nurturing and teaching?

Sister scriptorians! I love that! (Although, it's a funny word to use, since I've never heard anyone ever claim to BE a scriptorian. Everybody always just says they AREN'T one, when making comments in church. Ha ha.) And I've been thinking about "treasuring up" truth since my friend wrote about it recently. She said:

[Lately] I’ve become more aware of the scripture in me. Words and verses that I must surely have put there over the years. I’ve wondered, on occasion, why the push to read scripture when current talks, etc. are often spoken in a way that more naturally appeals to me. But I’ve neglected perhaps to recognize how, much like poetry and song, scripture can float into my head.… 

And I’m seeing more and more that it is not random floating at all. It’s The Spirit bringing scripture to my mind – and more importantly to my heart. It seems to somehow be a sacred language of The Spirit that, if we simply put it in us, he can call up in a way that opens understanding, soothes fears, and guides decisions. Lately, I take note the minute words of scripture pop into my head. I acknowledge that I am learning how to hear God. And I want more scripture in me – to facilitate hearing Him more frequently.

I feel just the same: I want more scripture in me! Like President Kimball says, we women NEED these truths stored within us so we can call upon them in moments of need! I often have bits of scripture come into my head, and I've learned that when I look up those phrases and read the verses nearby, there is often even MORE enlightenment waiting for me. But when the time comes to share that enlightenment with others…I feel like I'm always stumbling over my words or saying the wrong thing in important conversations. Especially when those conversations come upon me unexpectedly! But I'm trying to just trust that because I do try to treasure up those words of the scriptures, somehow Heavenly Father will speak through me when it matters most—or maybe make my words come across clearer or better than they really are.

I've also noticed that sometimes those "treasured up" words that come back at the right time are…hmm, I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, but they're…my OWN words! Ha ha. Not really my VERY own. I'm often dissatisfied at the time with how inadequately I capture what I WANT to say, when I try to write down spiritual experiences or truths that I'm learning. But later, on re-reading—in my scripture journal, or even on this blog—something I had previously learned will strike me again with new force, and give me an insight that I need particularly at that time. It's amazing, the way God uses everything so efficiently! He can bless me with a spiritual experience…and then bless me with it again when I think back on it later!

Here's one more related passage I liked from President Kimball's talk:

All of you need to drink in deeply the gospel truths about the eternal nature of your individual identity and the uniqueness of your personality. You need, more and more, to feel the perfect love which our Father in Heaven has for you and to sense the value he places upon you as an individual. Ponder upon these great truths, especially in those moments when (in the stillness of such anxiety as you may experience as an individual) you might otherwise wonder and be perplexed.

I see this instruction—to "drink in deeply" the truths about how much God loves us, and to "ponder upon" them frequently—as another way to "treasure up" God's word. Sometimes I worry that I'm getting too…needy. Or greedy. Or something—when I want to feel again and again that God loves me. I wonder, "Shouldn't I already know this? God has blessed me so much. And He has helped me so often in the past. Of course he loves me! I should never question that!" And I don't question it, exactly…but His love is something I can never get enough of feeling, and when life gets hard or tiring, I want more of it! So I appreciate President Kimball's reminder that it's a good thing to seek for, and a good thing to ponder upon. Of course we have to sometimes experience loneliness and uncertainty, where we just trust, but don't feel, that God is near. But perhaps if I do a better job of "treasuring up"—noticing, remembering, writing about, pondering about—the reality of God's love whenever I feel it strongly, it will be even more of a reassurance to me during the more difficult times.

Other posts in this series:

• Nuclear Power by G
• Women: Choose Your Side and Be All In! by Jan Tolman