More than sweet voices

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Relief Society Session of the October 1980 Conference.

I loved this women's session! Sister Shirley Thomas was my across-the-street neighbor all through my growing-up years, but by the time I was old enough to get to know her, she wasn't in the Relief Society General Presidency anymore. I knew that she had had that position, but I'd never read any of her talks! So it has been really fun for me to read them and hear them in her familiar, sweet, gentle voice.

She and her husband, Bob Thomas (as we knew him—"Robert K. Thomas" in his professional circles) were such lovely people. We often had Family Home Evening with them, and they would tell us stories of their time as mission presidents in Australia. My brothers and I loved staying there talking until late at night, laughing and none of us wanting to leave. We watched the Olympics at their house every two years (since my family didn't have a TV), popping in at all hours hoping to see the sports we liked best. We watched BYU games too, or church broadcasts or anything else. They never made us feel like we were inconveniencing them! After my brothers left home, I mowed the Thomas' lawn, and also frequently "grandma-sat" for Sister Thomas' mother, Sister Wilkes, when they had to go out. On these occasions Sister Thomas would make a special effort to buy something she knew I liked—macaroni and cheese—for me to make for our meal. It was clear she wasn't very familiar with it and had never made it herself, because she always bought some strange kind—microwaveable, or something; I don't even know where she found it!—rather than the usual kind in a box.

Anyway, Sister Thomas' kindness and gentleness come through in her talk, but she was so much more than just a sweet-voiced woman. All of these ladies were! They were smart and determined and forthright. They understood and allowed for differences among women. They spoke strongly in behalf of education and lifelong individual development. It makes me so annoyed when I hear people make statements about how the church is "finally" addressing the needs of single sisters, or how the church "always used to teach" that women should "only be in the home." Hogwash. Every one of these old conferences has contained compassionate, understanding talks that confront the hard realities of life, make allowances for all kinds of circumstances, and show a grasp of the world just as "nuanced" as anything we see today. One of the talks, given by a single sister, was a beautiful and honest reflection on the difficulties of single life, and the way that Relief Society, properly functioning, helped her fill those holes and ease those sorrows by bringing purpose and perspective. It was easily as sensitive and inspiring as any of the talks we hear now! I love discovering all these amazing women from a previous generation!

Here are some of the statements I loved from this Women's Session. From Sister Shirley Thomas:

A young woman came to our office recently to talk about Relief Society; and when asked if she might like to help with a project we had to do, she replied, “I would like very much to do that, but I should tell you that I will ask some hard questions.” We could tell her that we do not turn from hard questions. Fortified by the true principles of the gospel, Relief Society women must accept the challenges of the day. 

…The emphasis on education given in the Relief Society program is designed to help a woman make a place in her life for learning, for learning as much as she can, and for developing her gifts and talents. What she learns will expand her influence for good as she then teaches and blesses others. 

…Children depend upon mothers to tell them what is wrong—what is wrong and right about words, about life, and about the world with which they are trying to cope. I think it is not possible for a mother to be overtrained for her role.

From Sister Mary Foulger:

As a mother I have made mistakes. Regardless of culture or country, we all make mistakes in our mothering. But through repentance and the atonement of Jesus Christ, and by continually communicating his love, miracles can happen, wrongs can be righted. Never give up. Never let your arms hang down.

From Sister Addie Fuhriman:

I am aware of the struggle it is for one to be hurt, lonely, or in pain, and to have to wonder if there is someone who knows you well enough that he or she will respond to you. But if you assume that part of another’s responding to your needs lies in your willingness to share your ideas, feelings, and values, then faith becomes a blessing that fortifies you in sharing yourself with others. Sharing and responding are the process of sisterhood. 

…It seems impossible at times to give my heart to someone when there isn’t someone who has made that same commitment to me. Without that reciprocating, human commitment, it becomes easier to give one’s heart to a task, job, or perhaps inanimate object. Nevertheless, the comfort and companionship of hope can allow you to give self and love and will lessen the risk associated with the act of commitment. Concepts embedded within lessons of service, personal relationships, forgiveness, and daily acts of love can help you say, “My heart is yours”—and say it to one or many.

And from Sister Barbara B. Smith:

Be sensitive to life’s transition, both for yourself and for others.

I'm still pondering on what that last statement means, exactly. It struck me as important, but I'm not sure I fully understand it. Maybe it means that life's transitions are hard, and we should be understanding when others go through them? Or that as life's transitions come, our focuses change, and different things become important—so we should be sensitive to the differing needs of our sisters? I'll have to keep thinking about it.

It's obvious, though, that these women were impressive and inspired—prophetesses, we might say—and in tune with the needs of their day. Which, it turns out, are not so different from the needs of our day! I'm learning a lot from them.

Other posts in this series:

• Having Faith to be Planted by Nathaniel Givens
• When We Gather Israel, We Gather Ourselves by Jan Tolman