Find relief in charity

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 1991 Conference.

I really liked Sister Aileen H. Clyde's exploration of charity in her talk "Charity Suffereth Long." This part struck me as important:

It is interesting to me that Jesus chose a Samaritan as an example of love unfeigned for the Pharisees. …this teaching must have caused at least some of them to see in new ways and with new spirit the freedom to love that Christ was offering them. That is the challenge for us, to allow Christ’s teachings, magnified by the Holy Spirit, to guide us to his ways of seeing and being.

As I was thinking about this it occurred to me that to some extent with Christ's teachings, the more surprising and challenging a concept seems, the more important it is for me to ponder it. The things that most go against what I would have assumed can show me the places where my thinking most needs to change! I can think of several teachings from the brethren, even recently, that have been challenging to me like that—not that I haven't believed them, but they haven't immediately been easy or "tasted good" to me in the way some doctrines do. It seems like a good idea to consciously work on "allowing" those doctrines to guide me to "his ways of seeing and being" rather than resisting them.

This is another quote I liked:

Now, understanding charity or being charitable is not easy. And our scriptures have not indicated that it would be. Even “charity suffereth long” requires our thoughtful interpretation. The “suffering” that may come from loving is the result of our great caring. It comes because another matters to us so much.

To avoid that kind of suffering, we would have to avoid what gives us life and hope and joy—our capacity to love deeply. As an antidote against the suffering that will surely come as we have loved ones die, or see them struggle or be misled, or have them misunderstand us or even betray us, we can find relief in charity to others. We accepted bearing one another’s burdens and mourning with those who mourn, as we accepted Christ in our baptism. His spirit and power will comfort us as we extend ourselves in help and love to those who need us.

I think there's such an interesting paradox here—one of those "challenging teachings" I was just talking about above. Sister Clyde says that charity leads to suffering because we care about others. And that's true—the older I get, the more amazed I am at the courage it takes to allow yourself to form new relationships. For example, to accept a new child into your family once you know what that means. Once you have even glimpsed the potential heartache in families and relationships, you really have to hang on to faith in Heavenly Father's promise that the "good seed" of his plan for us will always lead to "good fruit."

But the second part of the paradox is true too—that without charity, the suffering is even worse; and in fact it's charity that ends up giving us relief from suffering in the end. Even when people hurt us and relationships are complicated, because charity brings Christ's love into the picture, being charitable blesses us even when the people we are trying to have charity for do not. I guess that's just another way of saying "when you are in the service of your fellow beings, you are only in the service of your God"—but I like the reminder here that the scary act of "extending ourselves" in love comes with its own immediate reward of comfort and power through the Holy Spirit. That's a reminder I need as I feel like I'm extending myself to (or even past!) my very limits almost every day!

Other posts in this series:

Joy and Mercy, Elder Oaks—by G.