A vision of the power of patiently teaching truth

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the April 1993 Conference.

I was interested in Elder Scott's talk about correct principles in this session. He starts out talking about missionary work and how important it is for missionaries to have correct principles engrained in them as they teach. Then he takes an unexpected (at least I wasn't expecting it!) turn to motherhood, and he gets pretty passionate about it:

When, as mothers, you are consistently in the home, at least during the hours the children are predominantly there, you can detect the individual needs of each child and provide ways to satisfy them. Your divinely given instincts help sense a child’s special talents and unique capacities so that you can nurture and strengthen them.…

What enduring fruits will result from seeds of truth you carefully plant and thoughtfully cultivate in the fertile soil of your child’s trusting mind and heart? Recently I reviewed the history of many missionaries and found a powerful correlation between exceptional missionaries and mothers who chose to remain home, often at great financial and personal sacrifice.

Elder Scott then says to these mothers:  

You have a vision of the power of obediently, patiently teaching truth, because you look beyond the peanut butter sandwiches, soiled clothing, tedious hours of routine, struggles with homework, and long hours by a sickbed.

President Benson has taught that a mother with children should be in the home. He also said, “We realize …that some of our choice sisters are widowed and divorced and that others find themselves in unusual circumstances where, out of necessity, they are required to work for a period of time. But these instances are the exception, not the rule.” You in these unusual circumstances qualify for additional inspiration and strength from the Lord. Those who leave the home for lesser reasons will not.

I've done a lot of thinking about "correct principles" and enduring doctrines during this whole General Conference Odyssey. I've wondered how I can distinguish between guidance that was specifically needed at the time it was given, and guidance that is universal, timeless, and still relevant. Obviously, I hope and believe there is a lot of the latter, otherwise why would this GCO project even be worth doing? But I certainly don't want to follow the words of former prophets at the expense of the counsel we're currently being given. And I'm sure that there ARE issues where the prophets' emphasis has rightly changed over the years, because LIFE has changed. 

On the other hand, Elder Bednar said this in October 2020:

Some Church members opine that emergency plans and supplies, food storage, and 72-hour kits must not be important anymore because the Brethren have not spoken recently and extensively about these and related topics in general conference. But repeated admonitions to prepare have been proclaimed by leaders of the Church for decades. The consistency of prophetic counsel over time creates a powerful concert of clarity and a warning volume far louder than solo performances can ever produce.

To me, that makes it clear that these past General Conferences contain plenty of counsel that is STILL just as applicable as it ever was, and that's what I usually try to write about! But this issue of women working outside the home vs. staying home with children is one that has been of interest to me. It does seem to be something that is emphasized less often now, but the reasons for that (and I can think of several contradictory reasons why it might be that way) are unclear. I often hear statements about how the church is better off now with less of that "hurtful" sort of counsel. For example, I recently read this statement by Elder Christofferson's brother, Tom Christofferson (whose book I read and really liked):

…It is at least as reasonable to look at what we can do differently to create a more accepting, nurturing environment in the Church, ensuring there is a place for everyone in our worship services, as it is to assume specific language will always determine specific responses. As one quick example: women who worked outside the home were often called to repentance by other congregants when I was young; we’re not perfect now but that certainly happens much less frequently, and my sense is that most young women do not automatically assume they would imperil their standing in a ward if they pursue a professional career.

Of course, Tom Christofferson isn't an official church spokesman or anything, but I think what he says here is a pretty common sentiment, and I even sort of agree with it myself—in that we probably shouldn't ever be "calling other congregants to repentance" or making them feel unwelcome at church based on their careers or lack thereof! So if that is happening less these days, good! On the other hand (if we aren't all out of hands by now)…if there truly is power and blessings in mothers staying home, and some people now don't "have a vision of [that] power"…well, I'm just not sure.

Anyway, I'm not going to solve that question here. And I see more and more as I get older—though I currently DO get to stay home with my kids myself—that staying home with them is no guarantee that my kids will absorb my teachings or be great missionaries or avoid stupid mistakes or ANYTHING, really. I also think that much of this counsel isn't about "not working outside the home" exclusively, as much as it is about sacrificing some things, even good things, for the good of your family. It applies in many ways to both men and women. (And isn't a very popular idea these days, either way!) But because this advice came from an apostle and was repeated many times by other apostles…I think it may pass Elder Bednar's test of "consistent prophetic counsel over time." Something to think about, anyway! I felt power in his statement that

You must be willing to forgo personal pleasure and self-interest for family-centered activity, and not turn over to church, school, or society the principal role of fostering a child’s well-rounded development. It takes time, great effort, and significant personal sacrifice to “train up a child in the way he should go.” But where can you find greater rewards for a job well done?