The language of prayer

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the April 1993 Conference.

This is one of those few conference talks that I remember clearly from when I was younger—Elder Oaks on "The Language of Prayer." I would have been 13 when this was given, and it made a strong impression on me, even subconsciously—I've always felt it was important to try to use "thee" and "thou" in prayers, even when I didn't remember this talk specifically. But along with that impression that we were "supposed to pray" formally like this, I have had many questions over the years and even resistance to the idea. As I've tried hard to grow closer to Heavenly Father, and to make my prayers more meaningful, I've worried that thee and thou put distance between us that makes my prayers feel more stilted or unnatural. Even though I'm fairly fluent in the forms of that archaic speech (thou dost, wilt thou, as thou desirest of us, etc.)—and that fluency comes from hearing my parents use those forms, and from reading the scriptures, I suppose, since it's not like I studied it formally—I have sometimes doubted if that formal language will allow me to "pour out my heart" as President Nelson has instructed us to.

Anyway, with all that background, it was really enlightening to read this talk again (which I remembered as being a bit stern and with not much room for exceptions) and see that Elder Oaks was more flexible about it than I remembered. He talks a lot about growth over time in prayer language, and about not trying to be too flowery, and about the importance of letting those young in our faith, and those of other faiths, pray as they are comfortable doing. He recounts all the arguments you always hear about how other languages use intimate pronouns, and the history of English usage, etc. But yes, he definitely comes down in the end on the side that it's RIGHT and BETTER to use the archaic pronouns.

Here's something interesting, though: in spite of my own internal discomfort or occasional grumpiness about the formal language of prayer, I did have it drilled into me long enough that I've kept it up anyway. I've never quite been able to bring myself to drop into you's (though I do occasionally fumble through the proper "thee" forms and then laugh and hope Heavenly Father is laughing too). And somehow, over time I've come to support the same conclusion Elder Oaks does in this talk, on the reasoning for maintaining thee and thou pronouns! It's sort of the same reason for the Word of Wisdom, or for making Sundays different from other days—it's about setting something apart as special and different and important. Elder Oaks says:

In offering prayers in the English language, members of our Church do not address our Heavenly Father with the same words we use in speaking to a fellow worker, to an employee or employer, or to a merchant in the marketplace. We use special words that have been sanctified by use in inspired communications, words that have been recommended to us and modeled for us by those we sustain as prophets and inspired teachers…

In our day the English words thee, thou, thy, and thine are suitable for the language of prayer, not because of how they were used anciently but because they are currently obsolete in common English discourse. Being unused in everyday communications, they are now available as a distinctive form of address in English, appropriate to symbolize respect, closeness, and reverence for the one being addressed.

And that's exactly what I've noticed. Because I've used, and often stumbled, through the thee's and thou's, those words are now inextricably associated with prayer and with Heavenly Father in my mind. And though I do try to talk to Him as if He's there with me, and as I would truly talk to a friend, it's not QUITE the same, and it's special. There's a certain feeling I have when I'm saying "I thank thee" that just feels like…more…than "thank you." I've come to appreciate that feeling, even desire it, and I think using the archaic language—set apart for only this use—has really helped solidify it in my heart. It feels natural—but not quite natural—and that actually feels like just the right balance. Reading this talk again made me glad that I've persisted in learning "the language of prayer" for all these years!