Their children will be at home

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 1998 Conference.

Our Stake President has been talking a lot about balance lately—the need for balance in our families and maybe especially our children's lives. He counseled us to evaluate our activities and make sure they're in line with what we really want for our families, and to ponder how much time we allow for less "urgent" but spiritually important things in our families, like studying the scriptures together, eating dinner together, going to church activities, etc. 

The timing of this counsel was funny because it came right before I went to a cross-country parent meeting where the coach had nearly the polar opposite attitude—going on and on about how single-minded and dedicated "championship teams" needed to be, and how important it was not to be distracted by work or church activities or family trips or other "non-essentials." Ha! I was annoyed by it even though I sort of understood why he felt he had to set those priorities. But come on. What happened to hobbies and pursuits you do just for fun? Those don't seem to exist in high schools these days.

Anyway, I thought about all this as I read Elder Packer's talk, "Parents in Zion." He talks about how important it is to have our children "at home":

Some youngsters receive very little teaching and support at home. There is no question but that we must provide for them. But if we provide a constant schedule of out-of-home activities sufficient to compensate for the loss in those homes, it may make it difficult for attentive parents to have time to be with and teach their own children. Only prayer and inspiration can lead us to find this difficult balance.

We often hear, “We must provide frequent and exciting activities lest our youth will go to less wholesome places.” Some of them will. But I have the conviction that if we teach parents to be responsible and allow them sufficient time, over the long course their children will be at home.

There, at home, they can learn what cannot be effectively taught in either Church or school. At home they can learn to work and to take responsibility. They learn what to do when they have children of their own.

I've come to feel the truth of this need to have children "at home" in whatever ways we can manage it. (Convincing my children of the value of this is another story.) Obviously it doesn't mean they are always literally at home. But I do feel an urge to simplify and take advantage of whatever time we can reasonably be together, and being "at home" is a big part of that. And my great hope is that, even when my children grow up and move out, they will be "at home" in the sense that they stay close to the family and the truths they learned at home.

Elder Packer also said this, which I hadn't thought about as part of my role on Ward Council:

The ward council is the perfect place to establish the balance between home and Church. Here the brethren of the priesthood, themselves fathers, and sisters of the auxiliaries, themselves mothers, can, with inspired insight, coordinate the work of the organizations, each of which serves different members of the family.

I don't generally speak up much in that ward council meeting because I feel like "what does the Primary have to do with this?" But it was interesting thinking that part of my usefulness there can be as simply a mother, speaking for what I feel is best for families. It inspired me to say something last Sunday from my perspective as a mother. :)

Then, my favorite thing in the talk was this promise Elder Packer ended with (and I'm clinging to it!):

As the world grows ever more threatening, the powers of heaven draw ever closer to families and parents.

Oh how I hope that is true! We need those powers so much!

Other posts in this series:

"Becoming Like Christ"—by Rozy