To express my deepest identity as a woman

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the April 2008 Conference. 

I loved this part from Sister Susan W. Tanner's talk:

I take great delight in my role as a nurturer, which allows me to express my deepest identity as a woman. I never fail to be struck by the way that women, young women, and even little girls seem to have an instinctive interest and ability in nurturing. It is not only a mother’s primary responsibility but also part of our “individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” To nurture is to teach, to foster development, to promote growth, to feed, and to nourish. Who would not shout for joy at being given such a blessed role?

In today's world there is a lot of confusion about what "identity as a woman" even means. It seems so shortsighted to me when people in the trans movement reduce womanhood to "liking pink" or "wearing high heels." But equally ridiculous when women limit their own capabilities by saying things like "I'm not really the nurturing type." Of course women have many and varied talents! Of course all of us also have areas in which we need growth! But we also can count on the fact that as women, we all have the potential to be like Heavenly Mother, the ultimate nurturer! 

So I like the truth expressed in the order of Sister Tanner's statement here—our deepest identity as women is expressed through nurturing. So the identity is who we are or can be—strong, capable, smart, perceptive, powerful daughters of God. And how we express those traits is by caring for and loving those around us! In other words, as women we use our strength, intelligence, abilities, perceptions, and power to serve and nurture others. And it doesn't matter if we feel like we're "good at" doing it; of course none of us are that good at it without practice. We learn it by doing it; we develop all of those traits as we do it. Nurturing is the process by which we grow into the kind of woman our Heavenly Mother is! 

It reminds me of what people sometimes say to me when they learn I have ten children (or when they learn that I homeschool them). They say: "Oh, you must be so patient." Or "Oh, you are a saint." It's so funny to me because it is SO untrue. My ten children make absolutely sure that I will never feel patient (as I sometimes assumed I really was before becoming a mother!). Homeschooling shows me in great and painful detail all the ways I am NOT a saint. But…the one true part is that I do think that these roles as mother and teacher are shaping me and letting me practice patience in ways I wouldn't necessarily do otherwise. I am able to "express my identity" (or more accurately develop my identity) as a patient person by stepping into roles that demand a patient person. Maybe eventually I'll really get there.

And that is what being a woman really is, I think. It is willingly assuming the role of nurturer to nourish and serve those within our stewardship, and it is rejoicing in the growth that comes as we do so. I agree with Sister Tanner: "Who would not shout for joy at being given such a blessed role?"

Other posts in this series:

True Religion—by Rozy

Modern-day Prophets—by Jan