This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 2011 Conference.
The idea that repentance is a joyful doctrine has, as far as I can tell, been taught constantly since at least Alma's time:
And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!
In his talk this session, Elder Christofferson reiterates that point yet again:
Repentance is a divine gift, and there should be a smile on our faces when we speak of it. It points us to freedom, confidence, and peace. Rather than interrupting the celebration, the gift of repentance is the cause for true celebration.
I'm so curious, with this knowledge being so available and so widely dispensed, why is it that every time anyone ever speaks about repentance, they say, "I used to think repentance was a terrible thing!" or "When I was young I was scared of repentance!" Is it just human nature to feel bad for doing wrong, and fear the consequences? Does it stem from our parents punishing us for breaking rules, so we learned to associate mistakes with sadness? Is it because Satan obscures the doctrine, trying to get us to misunderstand it? It's probably some combination of all those things, all of which I've felt myself. But it's interesting that even once we have experienced repentance for ourselves and know better, we still sometimes shrink away from teaching others that good news:
If we do not invite others to change or if we do not demand repentance of ourselves, we fail in a fundamental duty we owe to one another and to ourselves. A permissive parent, an indulgent friend, a fearful Church leader are in reality more concerned about themselves than the welfare and happiness of those they could help. Yes, the call to repentance is at times regarded as intolerant or offensive and may even be resented, but guided by the Spirit, it is in reality an act of genuine caring.
Pretty strong words. I don't want to be one of these people (and am pretty sure I've erred more often the other direction with my kids, in being too harsh and not patient enough), but I'm just not sure how far "inviting others to change" should go. What is the difference between recognizing what I can’t change about those I love (and deciding not to push too hard and cause conflict)…and being a “permissive parent” who is selfishly withholding correction and teaching that could lead to greater happiness for my children? And I think I'd feel even more hesitant as a church leader (though I don’t know that I’ve ever been in a position with a specific directive to “preach repentance”…unless we all should be doing that). With so much counsel given these days to "just love people" and "meet them where they are," these words from Elder Christofferson seem jarring. I don't actually think there is a conflict—certainly not when we understand the doctrine mentioned earlier about repentance bringing joy!—but it is definitely not an easy area to navigate! Maybe that's the point; maybe struggling to find the balance teaches us needed lessons about the nature of love. But I wish I were better at it.
Elder Christofferson also has this encouragement, though, which I love:
Real repentance, real change may require repeated attempts, but there is something refining and holy in such striving.
I suppose that's just as true for my efforts to teach and exemplify the gospel to my family as it is for my more individual mistakes. It takes a long time to get it right. It takes mistakes from leaning too far to one extreme and then perhaps too far to the other. But that striving itself is holiness to the Lord.
Other posts in this series:
The Divine Gift of Repentance—by Rozy
"With so much counsel given these days to "just love people" and "meet them where they are," these words from Elder Christofferson seem jarring." I believe it was Elder Holland who said something like, yes, come as you are, but don't stay as you are. Perhaps we can think of new converts or returning saints as babes, or little children who need a lot of guidance and patience as they learn the ways of the church. We certainly accept them as they currently are, but we help them learn and change to become better. I like the idea of encouragement to repent and do better between saints as we navigate the covenant path and endure to the end together. This talk was so encouraging to me!
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