Blessed by being asked and blessed by not being asked

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 2013 Conference.

Daisy is the choir director for our ward, and she's doing great at it, but it can be a very discouraging calling! I know just how she feels. I think I have never felt so discouraged in a calling as I did when I was choir director. There really are only a few people that ever come. They are the same 4-5 people. And no matter how much you invite, and make treats, and tell people "you don't have to be a great singer! All are welcome!", and try to sing fun music, and ask the bishopric to keep announcing choir practice—all the other people in the ward seem to think of themselves as "non choir people" and be perfectly at peace with leaving it to others. And for those who have, somehow, established themselves as "choir people"—not even necessarily because their voices are great but just because they are willing to sing, I guess—being one of the 4 people that supports the choir is its own kind of burden, knowing that if you don't go, no one will!

It seemed extra hard to me when that was my calling, because I hate asking people to do things they don't want to do. (I have to do enough of that with my own kids to truly detest doing it at any other time.) I hate "recruiting" or feeling like I'm imposing or seeming like I'm criticizing or judging someone. I get that for some people, it's just too hard to make choir practice right now. For some, it's super intimidating and they feel self-conscious. For some, their other duties won't allow it. I know all that only too well because I've had times of life where I just can't handle choir either. It's not like I think no one has a valid excuse. BUT, as choir director, if that's your calling, you can't just NOT ask anyone to come! You can't just make do with a choir of two people—or at least, it's hard to! And surely not everyone is so busy they can't possibly come? But I hate being that person who everyone else starts to want to avoid because they feel reluctant/guilty/hesitant about what they know you're going to ask them. UGH. So hard. (And poor Daisy! The bishop thought maybe people would support her more because she's a young woman. But no. They do not. I mean, some do! And everyone means well! No one is TRYING not to support her—but the fact remains. And her discouragement makes my own heart hurt extra!)

Anyway, in context of all that, I thought this section of Elder Eyring's talk was interesting:

You asked others of the Lord’s priesthood to help, with confidence that they would respond with compassion. You were not afraid to ask those who have responded most often in the past…You asked them, knowing that in the past they have felt the Lord’s generosity when they chose to help. You asked some already heavily burdened, knowing that the greater the sacrifice, the greater the compensation they will receive from the Lord. Those who have helped in the past have felt the overflowing gratitude of the Savior.

You may [also] well have been inspired not to ask someone to help load and then unload that truck. As a leader you know your quorum members and their families well. The Lord knows them perfectly.

He knows whose wife was near the breaking point because her husband was unable to find time to do what she needed done to care for her needs. He knows which children would be blessed by seeing their father go one more time to help others or if the children needed the feeling that they matter to their father enough for him to spend time with them that day. But He also knows who needs the invitation to serve but might not appear to be a likely or willing candidate.

You cannot know all your quorum members perfectly well, but God does. So, as you have done so many times, you prayed to know whom to ask to help serve others. The Lord knows who will be blessed by being asked to help and whose family will be blessed by not being asked. That is the revelation you can expect to come to you as you lead in the priesthood.

I wish so much that I could have this type of revelation better! I don't know that I have yet experienced that gift. And I get discouraged easily when trying to balance "don't ask too much, don't annoy people" and "people will be blessed by helping even if they don't want to at first!" But this gives me hope that it is possible to find that balance. Maybe someday??