Saturday, September 18, 2010

Moments


I can't even remember where I first ran into this video (Sam?), but every time I watch it, it makes me so thoughtful.  It's just so strange to think that all these little everyday things, accumulated, are what make up a life.  The things you've done so many times and never really even thought about---like the girl hooking up her bra strap.  I mean, I've done that every day for so many years now; I don't even think about it, but I see that motion and I can FEEL it in my arms---and this is something that is now part of the mosaic of my life.  And turning the page of a book.  How many times have I done that?  Millions?  Then there's the kid slamming a locker.  I used to do that several times a day.  Now I haven't done it for years.  But it's so familiar.  Or the frisbee landing on the roof---I see that and think, "yeah!  I know that feeling!"---even though again, it's been years.  All these moments and motions, so different, some significant and some so insignificant---but they're all equally part of our mortal experience. 

I guess that what's so fascinating to me about this train of thought.  What is going to characterize my life, when I'm looking back on it someday?  I mean, of course it will be the kids and the milestones and the challenges and so forth.  I have those important moments in my memory: the moment of release in childbirth; looking at my dad's body in his coffin; watching the sunset over the cliffs in England. But also in that kaleidoscope of memory, and just as real, are those moments of midnight waking, my eyes blinking open to the dark.  Brushing my hair out of my eyes as I run.  Cracking an egg.  Stumbling over the edge of a curb.  Sliding the clasp around to the back of my necklace.  Which moments make me ME?  It has to be ALL of them, right?  Doesn't that fascinate you?  Doesn't it make you glad to be a living person, who gets to experience all these things?

4 comments:

  1. Yes! I find these moments fascinating as well -- the human experience is so encompassing. As hard as it can be at times, I'm so appreciative that I've gone through the difficult and the mundane. Life would be so unfulfilled if everything was easy and entertaining at all times, so every moment really does count. I'm trying to make more of an effort to appreciate the simple things, so you honed in on my current mood. Thanks for posting!

    WV: dazerseq

    I must figure out a definition! Maybe some sort of dream state? (Just saw Inception). :)

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  2. those collages they make out, an image, like a painting of a face made out of thousands of tiny thumbnail photos - it's kind of like that. I did learn, when I was pretty young - in high school, after I'd read "Our Town" in class - that it's good, for short bursts, to notice "every, every minute." (New-ironed dresses . . . )

    But you can't live that way. The moments have to be real, and for them to be real, they have to be unnoticed, undeliberate, part of an un-self-conscious flow. Or you end up stumbling over your feet, or weeping into YouTube saying, "It's amazing - what does it mean???" all the time.

    The trick of the moments is that - they take care of themselves, and they are the atoms that make up your substance. And there is the miracle.

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  3. By the way, for a moment, I had changed my blogger ID from K to BarnCat. Then realized I probably shouldn't have done it.

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  4. You need to warn me when blood is involved. Gross. I pretend those moments don't exist. Especially when I'm pregnant and hoping to avoid exactly what you just "made" me watch. Gross, gross, gross.

    Too tired to be philosophical--but I love your blog. My favorite part of the video was when the kid ran and made all the birds fly up. And the mud puddle. And the missed bus. I hate it when that happens.

    The new baby. Now--that is an unforgettable moment.

    And when I danced with my hubby at our reception (the night before we got married).

    And when I watched my family drive away and leave me on my own for the first time. I was 17.

    The thing about moments is they only really mean anything to yourself and so you can't express them.

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