Opposites, but both are necessary

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week we take a break from the historical Conference Sessions to write about the Conference we just had, the October 2017 General Conference.

I've said before that I like looking for paradox when I want to understand some gospel concept better. I think I first got the idea from my Uncle Hale, who, as a physicist, loved that sort of thing. But lately I'm realizing that what is interesting and exciting on a theoretical level can be just…difficult, in real life. Trying to make sense of the very real conflict that comes from forced decision-making: things that must occupy the same spaces of time, and yet cannot be done simultaneously. Wanting multiple things that can't coexist, and thus confronting all the places where my will conflicts not only with God's will, but even with…itself. Wanting to be stretched, but not being sure which direction to stretch in.

I ran across a good blog post recently which included this quote by Rabbi Dov Lev:

Success in life is predicated on two distinct undertakings: On one hand, an organism must advance and expand. On the other hand, it must protect and nurture. These two undertakings are opposites, but both are necessary for success. . . The same is true on every level of societal and personal existence.*

*The quote above goes on to say, "It was with this theme that God created two distinct genders, to work together in unison to accomplish their ultimate goals," and the linked post explores this theme. I like it, but that's not really where I'm going with this post.

This sums up exactly the conflict that disturbs me—I would say "lately," but it's ongoing, really. How does one "advance and expand" without doing so at the expense of "protecting and nurturing"? We need both. Our children need both. How to have self-awareness without despair? Hope without entitlement? Contentment without stagnation?

I needed General Conference this month.

So many speakers addressed this balance of opposites. I could sum up the message of Conference (my personal message, I mean) as "Optimistic self-improvement." Or maybe: "You're doing great! Now do better." Ha! My notes are scant (I was nursing a baby pretty much nonstop), so these quotes are just paraphrases. But the theme was everywhere!

Protect and nurture. Advance and expand. Somehow, I need to do both.

President Uchtdorf:
The kingdom is full of people who feel inadequate…Blessings come not because of our abilities but because of our choices. 

President Eyring:
When we are focused on love of God and others, we become fearless.
[Reading the Book of Mormon daily] has produced a sense of optimism about what lies ahead, even as the commotion in the world seems to increase. 

Sister Bingham:
Knowing Christ better helps us know ourselves better. 

Sister Oscarson:
Some of our most significant service opportunities are small and close to home. 

Sister Jones:
Doubting our own worth is an indulgence we can't afford. 

Elder Hallstrom:
Do you have the faith not to be healed? 

Elder Christofferson:
Let us not be content with where we are, but neither let us be discouraged. 

Elder Holland:
I would hope we could pursue personal improvement in a way that doesn’t include getting ulcers or demolishing our self-esteem. That is not what the Lord wants for children or anyone else who honestly sings, “I’m trying to be like Jesus.” 

Elder Rasband:
Sometimes we consider changes in our plans as missteps on our journey. Think of them more as first steps to being on the Lord’s Errand. 

Sister Eubank, quoting President Hinckley:
You don’t … build out of pessimism or cynicism. You look with optimism, work with faith, and things happen.

Other posts in this series:

• Social Media in General Conference by G
• The Essence of the Gospel is Service by Jan Tolman