Unity is not an ideal. It is a necessity.

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the April 1998 Conference.

President Hinckley's talk on testimony was so good from this conference! But I couldn't not choose Elder Eyring's talk on unity to write about. I've been trying to understand unity for so long, and it still baffles me. Luckily, you can count on Elder Eyring to shed light on anything! He starts out rather boldly:

At the creation of man and woman, unity for them in marriage was not given as hope, it was a command! …Our Heavenly Father wants our hearts to be knit together. That union in love is not simply an ideal. It is a necessity.

Then he says,

All of us have felt something of both union and separation. Sometimes in families and perhaps in other settings we have glimpsed life when one person put the interests of another above his or her own, in love and with sacrifice. And all of us know something of the sadness and loneliness of being separate and alone. We don’t need to be told which we should choose. We know. But we need hope that we can experience unity in this life and qualify to have it forever in the world to come.

All of this is so true. We DO know the difference—even when my children are the most rebellious or the most determined to pull apart from others, lashing out at everything and everyone in their distress—I can sense that underneath it all, they LONG for inclusion and togetherness. They need it. Contention makes them feel defensive and alone.

And the needing hope part is true too. I can't count the number of times I've decided that true unity is impossible on this earth, only to be forced to confront the fact that God still commands us to seek it! I've speculated that maybe it's just the effort to create unity that God requires, but I need to work on having hope that it's actually within reach, in this life, as Elder Eyring says! So—what's his advice on finding that hope?

[Jesus] made clear how the gospel of Jesus Christ can allow hearts to be made one. Those who would believe the truth He taught could accept the ordinances and the covenants offered by His authorized servants. Then, through obedience to those ordinances and covenants, their natures would be changed. The Savior’s Atonement in that way makes it possible for us to be sanctified. We can then live in unity, as we must to have peace in this life and to dwell with the Father and His Son in eternity.…

The Holy Ghost is a sanctifier. We can have it as our companion because the Lord restored the Melchizedek Priesthood through the Prophet Joseph Smith. The keys of that priesthood are on the earth today. By its power we can make covenants which allow us to have the Holy Ghost constantly.

Where people have that Spirit with them, we may expect harmony. The Spirit puts the testimony of truth in our hearts, which unifies those who share that testimony. The Spirit of God never generates contention. It never generates the feelings of distinctions between people which lead to strife. It leads to personal peace and a feeling of union with others. It unifies souls. A unified family, a unified Church, and a world at peace depend on unified souls.

It seems like he's saying our hope comes through keeping covenants, which makes sense. We know our covenants give us access to power, and specifically to the companionship of the Spirit. The Spirit changes us and makes us ABLE to be unified where we can't, by ourselves. That's probably why Zion seems so out of reach to me sometimes—because I'm thinking of myself (and others) as we are right now. And it IS out of reach. But we don't have to continue to BE who we are right now!

Elder Eyring goes on to talk about praying and reading scriptures as a family, and taking the sacrament, nothing new (it's never anything new! Only my understanding deepens over time)—and then he says this interesting thing:

There are some commandments which, when broken, destroy unity. Some have to do with what we say and some with how we react to what others say. We must speak no ill of anyone. We must see the good in each other and speak well of each other whenever we can.

At the same time, we must stand against those who speak contemptuously of sacred things, because the certain effect of that offense is to offend the Spirit and so create contention and confusion.…An inspired, loving rebuke can be an invitation to unity. Failure to give it when moved upon by the Holy Ghost will lead to discord.

As a parent, I of course know this is true—there are times I know I MUST stop my children from doing what they're doing to each other, even if it causes more contention for the moment—but I wish I knew HOW to give "an inspired, loving rebuke" better. I don't really trust myself to keep the Spirit while I'm doing the rebuking—I get too caught up in impatience or anger or indignation myself. I don't know how to achieve that in public life either, so my usual method is to say nothing. That's probably the right thing sometimes, but I wish I was better at knowing when my failure to speak will actually "lead to discord" as Elder Eyring said.

I also liked this:

There is a protection against pride, that sure source of disunity. It is to see the bounties which God pours upon us not only as a mark of His favor but an opportunity to join with those around us in greater service. A man and his wife learn to be one by using their similarities to understand each other and their differences to complement each other in serving one another and those around them. In the same way, we can unite with those who do not accept our doctrine but share our desire to bless the children of our Heavenly Father.

I like the idea that unity doesn't require similarity in every area. (I've actually learned this before, but forgotten, and probably part of my hopelessness about it has been that misunderstanding about what "unity" actually means!) Here it sounds like Elder Eyring is saying that, paradoxically, we can use BOTH our similarities and our differences to become more unified with each other. I can understand this most easily in marriage, because there are so many areas where I'm weak and Sam is strong, and I'm grateful for the difference! Now I just need to broaden my gratitude to areas where I currently feel frustrated about differences in viewpoint and approach, and enlarge it to apply to people in my ward or neighborhood or other circles as well!

Other posts in this series: 

Timeless Testimonies, by Rozy