Cool

A couple years ago. The one and only time I've ridden a Segway scooter. They were letting you try them out at Thanksgiving Point for some reason. And I know, I know, they are SO nerdy, although at the time I felt like I was pretty cool on this thing. And have you ridden on one? They are FUN. Worth the nerdiness, I tell you.

Today I'm going to write about something that everyone already knows. I'm sorry. But maybe the fact that everyone already knows it; even I know it, for goodness' sake---is part of what makes it so interesting to me. Because I don't know why I can't just internalize it and let it go, but for some reason it's something I have to keep struggling with again and again. So okay already, here's what it is:

It doesn't matter if people think you're nerdy.

Deep, eh? :)

I'll tell you what prompted it. I was reading what someone had written about how they had to move to "the suburbs," and it was really hard for them because they were this hip, urban-type person and now they were having to go to a boring, homogenous, white-bread, insular community and give up the rich vibrant fulfilling life of diversity and challenge which they'd enjoyed in the big city. And it was hard to be tolerant of so many unenlightened, non-thinking "suburbanite" Mormons but they were learning to do it (by being "patient" with the presumably unbearable political ignorance of these cretins).

The moved-to community in question, incidentally, was the one I live in. So Sam and I were talking about how much it bothers us when people generalize so much about such a large group of people, and make assumptions based on preconceptions---and how you always find what you look for in other people, so if you are looking for weirdos and provincialism, so you can scoff at it, of course you'll find it, but that doesn't mean that's all there is----and how we don't ever want to become smug and look down on people who choose a different kind of place to live than we've chosen, or think our life experiences make us better than someone else's, etc. etc. (I could go on and on about all this, and I DID last night)---

and I just kept feeling so bothered by it all. I think what it came down to, is I'm a provincial, un-hip, boring, suburbanite myself. By some measures. And I hate thinking of someone deciding before they even know me, that I fit every stereotype they can devise about what that means. And really, I hate thinking of someone deciding such a thing about anyone. (Although I know I often do it too. Judge too hastily, that is.) I kept wondering how I could get people to STOP THINKING THOSE THINGS! Stop generalizing! Keep an open mind! Be more generous to others! and so forth.

But then I woke up this morning and thought suddenly, Why am I worrying about this? What am I, trying to win some hip, urban cool-ness contest? WHO CARES??! The truth is, I AM nerdy. I'm not cool. I don't know much about the latest music or the latest fashion; I love my backyard and my neighborhood parks; I buy Great Value brand chocolate chips; someday I'm sure I'll be driving a minivan. And I'm totally okay with all that, until some silly thing has me questioning it again. But honestly. As soon as I think about it rationally, I realize it's okay if people assume that I've gotten my beliefs simply by default, or that because I fit some stereotypes I fit all the others too. Because I know that isn't true, and one of the beliefs I have come to (NOT easily) is that the best thing you can do is be generous towards others, because you never truly know who they are or what they've been through. Whether they seem to fit every stereotype you slap onto them, or not.

And I need to just be happy when I make good choices and learn good things, and try harder when I don't, and not worry about whether or not anyone else is thinking those are good efforts or not. Because for ME (and us---our family), I'm so happy---I mean, last night we told the boys a story about The Pea That Didn't Want to Be Eaten (it was a real nail-biter) and then they went to bed and Sam and I put together a puzzle called "Rainbow Forest" while we listened to opera arias and made fun of the German ones [German! Can you believe it's a real language?] and ate peanut butter ice cream. And it didn't involve anything that could remotely be considered "cool" (I don't think, but as you know I'm not really up on these things), but it was lovely. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.