A greater sense of purpose and identity

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Relief Society Session of the October 1997 Conference.

I was reading some dumb article earlier this week. Not even worth linking to, it had so many half-truths and weird errors in it, but it was from someone outside our religion, speaking with disaffected and former members and talking about problems they saw in the church. One of these former members said, about people who are still in the church, something like, "I feel sorry for them, because they haven't even discovered who they fully are yet."

I thought that was so interesting, because one of the best things (in my mind) about embracing the gospel is that it DOES help us know who we are! When we come to Christ, we learn exactly who we are and who we can become. And so I was nodding right along when I read what Sister Sheri Dew said in this women's sesssion talk:

There is a direct relationship between how we feel about Jesus Christ and how we see ourselves. We cannot increase our devotion to the Savior without also obtaining a greater sense of purpose, identity, and conviction.

That rang so true to me. If someone in this world does NOT have a sense of purpose, identity, and conviction, what they need is not fewer boundaries…greater license to follow their whims…"mind-expanding" drugs…more passionate political activism…none of those things! What they need is a relationship with Jesus Christ, who will help them see their infinite worth as well as their eternal potential. I love the purpose that I gain through trying to follow Jesus—not that I am necessarily better at following Him than anyone else—but the effort changes me and gives me a reason to seek good and do good. The effort leads me to greater vision and broader perspective. Every time I increase my devotion to Him, my life improves.

And it improves in so many ways. Even better than "discovering who I am," when I seek Jesus Christ, I discover what HE can be to me—how he will guide me, comfort me, support me. And the more I gain that knowledge, the more my own burdens lighten! You know I've been thinking about trust in God, and so I loved Sister Dew's description of how such trust can form:

There are no disclaimers or exceptions in His invitation. We are the ones who determine whether or not we will come unto Him. The drawing near, seeking, asking, and knocking are up to us. And the more we know about the Lord—meaning the more we experience His mercy, devotion, and willingness to guide us even when we may not feel worthy of His direction—the more confident we become that He will respond to our petitions.

As we increase our interaction with Him, we learn for ourselves that He will never betray us, never turn away, never change His criteria for coming unto Him. His attention is riveted on us, His brothers and sisters.

It can be hard to believe that, but when you come to believe it, it really does change your life. And I'm so glad! I don't know what I would do without the purpose and identity I am gaining in God's service.

Other posts in this series:

Women are Important—by Rozy

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Splashing, talking, camping

This was Clementine's face at the moment the air conditioning in the car turned on. I can relate! During this hot weather, I am so grateful we can drive around in comfort in our cooled cars!

Of course, Abe reminds me every week that our summer heat isn't that hot. And it's not humid. So I can't complain, except I sense that part of the way Abe copes so well with the heat in Texas is by feeling superior to all us wimps back in Utah. So I feel it my duty to be sufficiently wimpy! For the greater good, you know.

Anyway, hot or not, here are some of the things our summer has been full of lately:

There is no break in the summer for cross-country runners. Seb and Ky have practice at 7:30 every morning, even Saturdays! They are so tough; they amaze me. They just got back from a week-long running camp in Mt. Pleasant. This picture is from the freshman mile time-trial a couple weeks ago (Malachi won it!). I didn't get a picture of Seb's longer race, but he did awesome as well.

Weird schedules and late nights mean we sometimes find Gussie asleep in strange places!

He was also a little feverish for a day or two, which it feels heartless to be happy about, but it does mean lots of snuggling—my favorite thing with a busy little 2-year-old who doesn't usually have time for such frivolities!

Miss Clementine is not actually walking, but she stands a little bit, and has even taken two or three steps! That doesn't seem right, does it?

We came upon Ziggy "walking" Gus, his pet bunny, on a leash.

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The Sky Lately

It's been hot lately, but there have been lots of clouds and even little rain showers to make it all feel more bearable. Last year at this time temperatures were in the 100's and we were smothered in smoke from the Oregon and California wildfires, and when you went outside it felt like you couldn't even breathe, the heat and smoke were so oppressive. Of course, I was 8 months pregnant at the time too, which I'm sure didn't help matters! This year's temperatures, in the high 90's, seem totally bearable (if you're inside an air-conditioned house all day, which I am, so I realize I have no claim to any real fortitude here). And the storm clouds have made for some wonderful skies and sunsets!

Of course we haven't been fire-free. This was from an enormous wildfire just over the mountains in Tooele. The smoke cloud was huge and ominous!

The smoke made all the sunlight orangey-pink

And I thought this was cool—even the shadow of the smoke on the mountains was red!

Our neighbors' daisies are out in force right now. They look so good all through July! Even they turned gold in the smoky light.

This was another day when the smoke was gone. Such a huge, amazing storm cloud over the mountains!

More pretty golden light, just from the sunset this time instead of smoke

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Block Party

We have such cool neighbors. Every year for the Fourth of July, they close off the street (kind of a half-circle of houses by our hill) and have a big party. We were sad we had to miss it last year when we were out of town, but this year we made sure to be here! Our neighbor gets a taco truck and a shave ice truck to come, and then he cooks a million hot dogs and everyone brings side dishes to share. It was 97 degrees outside, but we had the best time sitting and talking with people and watching the kids playing foursquare on the street. It feels like the right thing for the Fourth, like some old-fashioned small-town potluck you'd read about in Pollyanna or Little Britches. We loved it.

We made 10 gallons of homemade root beer for the party, which is always so fun. Who doesn't love watching dry ice at work?

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Our power to nourish will be increased

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 1997 Conference.

Continuing with what is now a multi-session theme about helping new converts, President Eyring focused his talk on nourishing "those tender in the gospel." I naturally read this as a talk about how I can nourish my own young "lambs," of which I have plenty these days! My children, of course, and also the primary children under my care—all of them needing to be converted and strengthened in the gospel of Jesus Christ. President Eyring says:

All of us have tried at some time to nourish another person’s faith.…And we have had our disappointments. Someone we love may not have accepted our attempts to nourish their faith. We know from painful experience that God respects the choice of His children not to be nourished. Yet this is a time to feel renewed optimism and hope that our power to nourish will be increased.…

The place to start is with our own hearts. What we want with all our hearts will determine in large degree whether we can claim our right to the companionship of the Holy Ghost, without which there can be no spiritual nourishing. We can begin today to try to see those we are to nourish as our Heavenly Father sees them and so feel some of what He feels for them.

I like to think that the place to start is "our own hearts." Now that I'm becoming so painfully conscious of my inability to make anyone do anything, it's comforting to know that there IS an aspect of spiritual nourishment I can always control, and it's my own effort to have the Spirit with me. The Spirit can then help me see and feel the things I need understand about my struggling children.

President Eyring shows he's got a lot of personal experience with this when he says:

It is wise to fear that our own skills are inadequate to meet the charge we have to nourish the faith of others. Our own abilities, however great, will not be enough. But that realistic view of our limitations creates a humility which can lead to dependence on the Spirit and thus to power.

He goes on to describe how to get this power to nourish:

There are two great keys to inviting the Spirit to guide what words we speak as we feed others. They are the daily study of the scriptures and the prayer of faith.

The Holy Ghost will guide what we say if we study and ponder the scriptures every day. The words of the scriptures invite the Holy Spirit. The Lord said it this way: “Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men.” With daily study of the scriptures, we can count on this blessing even in casual conversations or in a class when we may be asked by a teacher to respond to a question. We will experience the power the Lord promised: “Neither take ye thought beforehand what ye shall say; but treasure up in your minds continually the words of life, and it shall be given you in the very hour that portion that shall be meted unto every man.”

We treasure the word of God not only by reading the words of the scriptures but by studying them. We may be nourished more by pondering a few words, allowing the Holy Ghost to make them treasures to us, than to pass quickly and superficially over whole chapters of scripture.

I'm often worrying about finding the right thing to say as a parent these days. It feels like so many situations are so delicate that one wrong word will spiral everything downward into misunderstanding and defensiveness and hurt. I'll lie awake in bed at night rehearsing what I should say, and then when the moment comes, it's unexpected and different than I imagined, and all my rehearsals are useless. So this promise—that by treasuring up the scriptures I will be able to have my "tongue loosed" when it matters—is very precious to me. I am counting on it, because it's all too clear that my own wisdom and effort in this area is just not enough!

And then I liked this too:

It takes a childlike heart to feel the promptings of the Spirit, to surrender to those commands, and to obey. That is what it takes to be nourished by the good word of God.…And that is why we can be so optimistic in our charge to nourish the new members of the Church. However much or little they knew of the doctrine, they have just submitted humbly to the ordinance of baptism and received the right to the companionship of the Holy Ghost. And so the very tenderness of their faith, which leads the Savior to refer to them as lambs, comes at a time when they have proven themselves willing to do what the Savior asks of them.

It applies to children as well as to new members, and I feel like it applies even to teenagers and youth, even though I am not accustomed to thinking of them as "lambs!" They may act less childlike, but they ARE still young in the gospel, and we can have great reason to hope that Heavenly Father will send extra help as we try to nurture these lambs he loves so much—"power beyond our own," as President Eyring puts it. I need it! I need it constantly! There's nothing I want more than to truly nourish these little people I love so much, ultimately leading them to come and seek nourishment from the Savior themselves!

Other posts in this series:

The Basics—by Rozy

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New Harmony

We've driven south on I-15 a fair amount over the years, for vacations and visits to my brothers and quick trips to St. George. I always look out the window at the small towns along the way, Kanarraville and Meadow and Enoch and so forth, and wonder what they're like and who lives there. There's never time or a good reason to stop (especially when the signs say "No services," which always makes me wonder even more what brought people to live in that town at all!), but I still like thinking about what those places might be like! 

This summer the children had so many camps and commitments that we decided we should just go on a quick trip somewhere close to home. And as luck would have it, I found a rental house between Cedar City and St. George in a little town called New Harmony. I love staying in houses a bit off the beaten path, and this one was on a ranch with animals, so it sounded like it would be perfect. And it was!

We deliberately didn't plan much to DO, because we all felt like we just wanted some rest! But we did venture out to a few things, like the temple in Cedar City, and a play at the Shakespeare Festival (which, I am sorry to say, was the worst play I have ever seen. It was "The Sound of Music" and they did it WITH MASKS ON! So we couldn't see the actors' faces or hear their words, but we could hear their heavy breathing and masks rasping on their mics, and they all looked like acolytes of some strange cult…and when Captain Von Trapp and Maria kissed each other it was like two albatrosses clacking their beaks together. I can't get the image of it out of my head! Ha!).

The town is pretty far out west of the freeway, and the house was up on a hill that looks across at Kolob Canyon, a place I'd never been but had seen on a map as part of the geological layer that also forms Zion National Park. From the deck you could see the red fingers of rock sticking up from the mountains to the east.

This was our first family trip without Abe, which was so strange! We missed him. But we got to talk to him twice while we were there (he was allowed to call on Father's Day as well as his regular P-day) and we walked him all around and showed him everything, so that felt almost like having him with us.

One of my favorite parts of being in a new place is going out to run by myself in the mornings. It's such a good way to explore (even though I don't go very far!). 1000 bonus points if there are bunnies…and there were! I saw ten of them one morning! Four on another.

Can you find the bunny above?

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Kolob Canyon, a bike park, and a few other things

On our recent trip to Cedar City/St. George area, we didn't venture out much, but we did do a few fun things. We visited the playground where Teddy broke his leg a few years ago! This is the very slide where the incident occurred.

We took up way more than our share of seating at various restaurants, as is our custom.

Daisy quite liked these power line…thingies…we saw everywhere. Can you see that they look like penguins?

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The spirit of strengthening and overlooking faults

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 1997 Conference.

I used to think that, like Joseph Smith, I had a "native cheery temperament." But then I started to wonder if it was just that I (unlike him) had led a relatively easy life! And lately, as the tests of parenting have gotten more difficult and the world around us seems to be getting worse and worse, I've worried that perhaps I am, in fact, becoming a rather gloomy person! Hmm.

So, I liked President Faust's talk where he took a balanced look at some of the gospel ideals of justice and mercy and faith. I especially liked this part:

Indeed, moral standards must be maintained. In large measure, those who are disobedient punish themselves.…Those entrusted with judicial responsibility in the kingdom of God must see that the Church remains clean so that the living waters of life flow unimpeded.

However, true religion is not looking primarily for weaknesses, faults, and errors. It is the spirit of strengthening and overlooking faults even as we would wish our own faults to be overlooked. When we focus our entire attention on what may be wrong rather than what is right, we miss the sublime beauty and essence of the sweet gospel of the Master.

Judgment, the weightier matter of the law mentioned by the Savior, cannot be separated from the other two: mercy and faith.…I am frank to admit that when I say my prayers, I do not ask for justice; I ask for mercy.

I like the reminder that true religion is more about the "beauty and sweetness" we find through Jesus Christ than about anything else. We are so blessed by his mercy and love! And I think this counsel applies even when we are thinking of ourselves and our own failures—that we shouldn't be looking primarily for our "faults and errors," but thinking more about strengthening—and asking how God can make our weak things become strong.

I noticed recently that although Mormon is the person I credit for coming up with that idea—God making our weak things become strong—it actually appears much earlier, in 2 Nephi 33:4: "And the words which I have written in weakness will be made strong unto them." 

I love imagining Mormon knowing and loving and pondering Nephi's words, and then eventually adding to them with his own testimony of how God works through our weakness. And then I love how President Faust's words in this talk add to and enlarge that message even further. Certainly humility and acknowledgement of sin and weakness are important, but our attention, our focus should be most of all on Jesus Christ and what He will do—what He is doing—to strengthen and save us.

Other posts in this series:

I remember—by Rozy

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This loss must stop

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the October 1997 Conference.

There was was a lot of emphasis during this conference on new converts to the church, and how to best love and fellowship them. I remember hearing these talks (or at least the emphasis and discussions that came from them in our wards) and feeling a horror, even then, of being the person that didn't reach out in love and thus would be responsible for some tender soul falling away. I still feel that. I really want to make friends with everyone in my ward; to notice people who are distant or lonely and to welcome them so they feel loved. BUT the trouble is that during church I'm so focused on just managing everything! Picking up toys from the church bag! Making sure Clementine has been nursed! Keeping track of both Gussie's shoes! Calling after Junie not to forget her scriptures! Dealing with Ziggy's sudden inexplicable crying fit! Unlocking the nursery cupboard for the nursery leaders! Finding the announcements clipboard to pass around for the teachers! It's nonstop, and when church is over I find myself realizing I didn't say a WORD to the unfamiliar people I passed in the halls, let alone chat for a few moments to help them feel at home. I really need to work on getting my focus off of my list of duties and leaving room for more smiles and friendship.

I think it's easier to have friendly conversations at activities or ward dinners or other places where I'm not in charge of anything and I don't have to keep the kids quiet, but for someone like the Bishop, it's got to be a constant struggle all the time to make sure things are running smoothly while still being aware of individuals and helping everyone feel seen and loved! I guess this is also why it's so important to fellowship our neighbors everywhere, not just at church, because there is often more chance for quiet, one-on-one, meaningful interaction in other situations.

Here's what President Hinckley said about befriending and loving converts:

With the increase of missionary work throughout the world, there must be a comparable increase in the effort to make every convert feel at home in his or her ward or branch. Enough people will come into the Church this year to constitute more than 100 new average-size stakes. Unfortunately, with this acceleration in conversions, we are neglecting some of these new members. I am hopeful that a great effort will go forward throughout the Church, throughout the world, to retain every convert who comes into the Church.

This is serious business. There is no point in doing missionary work unless we hold on to the fruits of that effort. The two must be inseparable.

Then he read a letter from a man who had been neglected and forgotten by his ward, and drifted away from the church as so many do. President Hinckley said about this,

Someone has failed, failed miserably. I say to bishops throughout the world that with all you have to do—and we recognize that it is much—you cannot disregard the converts. Most of them do not need very much. As I have said before, they need a friend. They need something to do, a responsibility. They need nurturing with the good word of God. They come into the Church with enthusiasm for what they have found. We must immediately build on that enthusiasm. You have people in your wards who can be friends to every convert. They can listen to them, guide them, answer their questions, and be there to help in all circumstances and in all conditions. Brethren, this loss must stop. It is unnecessary. I am satisfied the Lord is not pleased with us. I invite you, every one of you, to make this a matter of priority in your administrative work. I invite every member to reach out in friendship and love for those who come into the Church as converts. 

I don't know that I've ever heard someone say in conference that we have "failed miserably" before! It's so sad! And here's what I was thinking as I read this talk: more than ever these days, every person at church is like a "convert." Everyone is vulnerable to drifting away or even actively walking away! Someone said in a sacrament meeting talk last week, "Assume anyone you meet might have one foot out the door, and might walk the rest of the way out any minute." I think it's true. We all know so many people who choose not to stay. While I know we can't MAKE people stay in the church, each one who leaves is a great loss to us—to the body of believers that is working to become Zion. So I feel such urgency that no one feel neglected—converts, longtime members, children, youth. I need to do so much better at reaching out and befriending; of looking up from my own busy-ness and my own checklists to see who else needs my attention! 

That's what I want for my own children as they interact with their church acquaintances. I've felt it more and more as they get older. I tell my son that he should go to church and activities not just for himself, but to help others, and it's true. But what I don't tell him is how much I want someone to look up and brighten when he enters a room, to smile and ask him questions and remember who he is, to notice when he's gone, and to enlist his help with meaningful work that makes him feel needed and useful. I want people to treat him as the "convert" he truly is, as someone who needs extra love and care and nourishment. And I know mothers and fathers all over the world are praying the same thing for their children. I want to be an answer to their prayers!

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June-y in the Great Outdoors

As distinct from Junie, you know. I love June! June is the Friday of Summer. (And Spring is the Friday of the year, which is why I choose it as my favorite season even though I probably love Fall just as much.) In June, summer is just beginning and feels like it might last forever. The days are still getting longer. The clouds are glorious and the weather usually is too. You still have so many things to look forward to…and everyone plays outside late into the warm evenings…and the sunrises make it worthwhile to get up early and drive the children to all the hundred places they seem to have to go.

And the roses! The roses are out in June. I planted all my roses from bare-root starts last year. And then we had SUCH a hot summer with so little rain, and our drip line wasn't working well for some of the time, and after we went on a trip I was truly sure they would ALL die. I was very sad.

But then, this year, they have come up beautifully! Even a very sad one in the corner looks like it might recover. And these pinky-peach ones in the front bed have been just glorious! They are not yet a PROFUSION of roses as I'd like them to be. But they are coming along very nicely, considering! (Considering what? Well…considering that I don't really know how to take care of them, nor DO I take much care of them. Although I did have Daisy dig some rose food down around their roots this spring. And I did do a little pruning, carefully.)

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Creativity and Showmanship

As you may recall, Goldie loves to decorate cakes and cookies and basically make any food look pretty. She draws page after page of "feasts" with all kinds of delicious-looking food on lovely platters. Here are the cakes she made with play dough one day.

And here is what Junie made: a "piggy pop"!

Then, I've had some air-dry clay sitting with the school supplies for a long time, waiting to be used for some school project. Goldie kept asking me to use it, and I kept saying no, it was going to be used for school. But finally I came to my senses and realized there was no point saving it forever when she was DYING to use it now! So I said yes, and she was thrilled. All three girls spent the next several days at the kitchen table making the most DARLING play food for their Calico Critters to eat. It was sooo cute!

I was really worried about the environmental impact of the air-dry clay, so I was very reassured to read that it was "SAFE MATERIAL," and even using "green environmental protection formula"! Whew! What a relief. It was also wonderful to know that all those colors would be just the thing for the girls to "fondle admiringly," and of course, to realize how well their "creativity and showmanship" would be developed in the process!

And look! Here is some creativity and showmanship now! Junie's adorable fruit assortment.

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Spring Ballet

I admit that I am still a bit surprised when I see these little girls of mine dancing like…real dancers! I know they work very hard at their classes twice a week. And I know they go to extra rehearsals and practices quite often—too often, I sometimes think, as I am driving them there—but I don't usually get to see them doing anything more than leaping around the house getting in people's way and eliciting frustrated "Stop dancing!"s from all and sundry. And in my head they are still tiny ballerini like they were here:

But no. They are getting actually rather good! Daisy got to dance on pointe for this performance! And they were in the big ballet (Swan Lake) as well as the little one (Carnival of the Animals). They were all fish (that's what their costumes are above), and then Junie and Goldie were in the Polonaise and Daisy and Junie were Young Princesses.

I did the preliminary step of putting their hair in ponytails. But then Daisy did everyone's buns (including her own) in these perfect cinnamon-rolls.

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