Sunflowers

I saw a field of sunflowers over by the high school and decided it was a good excuse to get out the real camera, which I use far too infrequently these days! Phone pictures are so good—they're almost always good enough—but whenever I see photos from the real camera, I remember how much I like them. Can you believe, by the way, that fields of sunflowers like this just grow?? Without anyone planting them? I will never stop being amazed by wildflowers.

Of course I took along all who were willing to come be my photo subjects! (Though I don't think Ziggy quite knew what he was agreeing to…but he's always up for going somewhere in the car!) When we got to the field there were a few other cars there and several teenage girls arranging themselves artfully for selfies. They'd hop out, toss their hair a bit, make kissy lips, and then jump back in their cars and drive off. Ha! 

The field had another attraction: this "heffator backhoe," as Ziggy would call it. I let the boys climb all over it so they'd be in a good mood. :) The girls liked climbing in it too!

Ziggy wanted to get into the scoop, but when he got close to it he became very alarmed and tried to change his mind. He had to satisfy himself that it wasn't going to turn on and start scooping him before he was okay.

Teddy climbed up for a picture. He climbs everywhere with his cast, and the doctor didn't say not to, so I just…let him.

It was really fun to wander through the sunflowers—it's like a corn maze, but less sculpted. There were little clearings and paths; places where the sunflowers were taller than our heads and places where they were tiny baby ones as high as our knees. It was dirty and the sunflowers were scratchy (fine for me in my long pants, but not for the shorts-wearers among us) and the ground was uneven, but there was just something…adventurous and brave about it. The kids liked striking off on their own and feeling like they were hidden in their own little secret hideaways when they crouched down. The boys keep asking me if we can go back.

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Shun Contention. Seek Godliness.

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the April 1989 Conference.

It's weird. If you had asked me 20 years ago if contention was a problem in my life, I would have said no way. I considered myself a pretty easygoing, non-confrontational, even patient person (ha! what did I know?) and I figured that since I didn't like contention, it would be pretty easy to avoid it.

Now I feel like contention—dealing with it, trying to avoid it, trying to inspire those around me to avoid it—is a major everyday issue. It's one of the things I get most discouraged about in both family life and society, and it seems to be only getting worse all the time.

President Nelson spoke about contention in his Maxwellishly-titled talk, "The Canker of Contention." Here are a few excerpts:

My concern is that contention is becoming accepted as a way of life. From what we see and hear in the media, the classroom, and the workplace, all are now infected to some degree with contention. How easy it is, yet how wrong it is, to allow habits of contention to pervade matters of spiritual significance, because contention is forbidden by divine decree…

The work of the adversary may be likened to loading guns in opposition to the work of God. Salvos containing germs of contention are aimed and fired at strategic targets essential to that holy work. These vital targets include—in addition to the individual—the family, leaders of the Church, and divine doctrine.

This made me shudder: "salvos containing germs of contention"! Ugh! But it's true and I can think of about fifteen of these just offhand—topics that I could bring up in pretty much any group of people and instantly cause an argument. The thing that makes me feel worst about it, though, is that I know I'm not immune myself. And half the time I don't know which way I'm failing the most—by not defending my faith and beliefs vigorously enough, or by not being compassionate enough toward those who want to attack them. It's easy enough to say (as President Nelson does in this talk) "we can disagree without being disagreeable"—but exactly how to do that is a pretty big question for me, both on a macro level in society and on a micro level in my own home!

Luckily this talk has some ideas about that:

What can we do to combat this canker of contention? What steps may each of us take to supplant the spirit of contention with a spirit of personal peace? 

To begin, show compassionate concern for others. Control the tongue, the pen, and the word processor. Whenever tempted to dispute, remember this proverb: “He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.”

"A man of understanding holdeth his peace"…that's pretty powerful. To me, it means being reeeeally selective about the times I even get into those argumentative "discussions" at all. But, unfortunately, I have also learned that I can't actually avoid them altogether, especially when the contention has an urgent consequence or is within my own family. President Nelson advises:

But the ultimate step lies beyond beginning control of expression. Personal peace is reached when one, in humble submissiveness, truly loves God. Heed carefully this scripture: 

“There was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.” 

Thus, love of God should be our aim.…

Through love of God, the pain caused by the fiery canker of contention will be extinguished from the soul.…

Shun contention. Seek godliness. Be enlightened by eternal truth. Be like-minded with the Lord in love and united with Him in faith. Then shall “the peace of God, which passeth all understanding,” be yours, to bless you and your posterity through generations yet to come.

I keep wishing I could "shun contention" by going off to live all by myself in a hermit's cottage in the mountains. I would only let people who agree with me in every particular come to visit. :) But I have to assume that such a life wouldn't teach me the lessons I needed to learn. I need to learn how to shun contention here in the real world, in the middle of messy, contentious, aggravating real life. I need to learn how to seek godliness as contention's antidote. And I have to just hope and trust that my children and those around me will someday decide within themselves to do the same!


Other posts in this series:

Become your own judges—by Nathaniel Givens
The Kindred Family—by G.
And my soul cries "Is anyone there?"—by Jan Tolman

5

Whacking, romping, hobbling

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Let's start out with some sunrises. July has had such beautiful skies! (You can click on these pictures to enlarge them, I should mention.)

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• We have some cute little boys in this house, I must say. Their sisters like to dress them alike.

• Someone discovered that Baby Gus likes to hold a stick in his little baby hand and WHACK things with it. Unfortunately the children take great delight in this and any child who takes care of Gus now takes great pains to always give him his "whacking stick." I hear phrases like "Where is Gussie's whacking stick? He wants his whacking stick!" floating in from the other room. The results of all this whacking are predictable: lots of laughing and giggling and loud banging sounds, punctuated with "Ow! Gussie!" every so often.
(He is not, I'm sorry to say, the only baby to take great pleasure in whacking things.)

• He also grabs toes.

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• Our kids love to read on the porch swing. Even Ziggy. Here he is reading A Woggle of Witches.
• My brother Kenneth and his family came to Utah for a funeral, and we got to spend an evening together on Lucy's birthday. Kenneth and Abe were banished to the "kids table."

• When my mom brought out Lucy's birthday cake, Ziggy gasped and yelled "It's my birthday!" After that, who could deny him the chance to help Lucy blow out her candles?

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• There's always some sort of elaborate game going on around here. One day it was a pretend birthday party for Daisy, who had been sad for some reason.
• Another day it was three-legged races.

• Another day it was old-fashioned children like in All-of-a-Kind Family. They had aprons and pinafores and Daisy was old enough to wear long skirts and her hair up. And Teddy had his shirt pinned to his shorts. It was darling.

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Oh, Ziggy. He is still wearing whatever he finds, however it takes his fancy.

2

Hurt while trying to help

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the April 1989 Conference.

Oh Elder Maxwell. Who besides him would give a talk titled "Irony: the crust on the bread of adversity"?? I don't even know what that means. I think it means that the hardest kind of adversity is the kind that seems unfair. And maybe I haven't had very much of that in my life—though  I've certainly sometimes felt that my trials were unfair. But even without fully understanding all of it, I liked this talk. And there is one line that just keeps replaying in my head. I think it's because it's the perfect encapsulation of how it feels to raise a difficult child:

Can we absorb the irony of being hurt while trying to help? 

Well? Can I?

I think I have to learn to. And it's something I'm working on (like I wrote about here). I want to learn to love like Jesus Christ loves—and he absorbs whatever unfairness and pain we cause him, willingly.   How can I be like Him if I'm not willing to do the same?

2

Cedar City trip

Last year after we visited my friend Rachael in Canada, we wanted so much to get together again! She was planning to come to Utah this summer for a family reunion, and we thought maybe we could plan something around that—and then we thought it wouldn't work out—and then we thought it would again—and finally we booked a condo down near Cedar City and made plans to go to the Shakespeare Festival and let our families spend time together again! We were so excited!

Then the pandemic hit, and everything was uncertain—though we had hope things would be better in July. But of course, when July came…nothing was better. The Shakespeare Festival was cancelled, the border was closed, and we were SAD.

But. We still had the condo rental we couldn't cancel without a fee, so (without Rachael! *sniff!*) we went to Cedar City anyway. It's a beautiful place to visit. A relatively short drive away, but different enough to feel interesting. Sam's sister lives there, too! We pass through fairly frequently on our way to other places, but we haven't actually stayed there for almost ten years! Our last trip there was when Junie was a baby!

We actually stayed in Brian Head, which is a ski resort town in the mountains above Cedar City. It's up at 10,000 ft. altitude, and when I went running, I could tell! I thought I was used to high altitude, but 4400 ft. doesn't really compare, I guess. I was dying on the hills! It was really beautiful, though. Seb ran there too (much faster and farther than me) and it was fun to pass each other and wave.

Mornings really are the prettiest time in the mountains!

I love watching the sun start to light the tops of the trees.

Some parks were closed for the pandemic, but Cedar Brakes, just up the road from Brian Head, was still open. I've always loved Cedar Brakes—it's like Bryce Canyon, but smaller. I think it's more impressive in some ways because of how much color variation there is in the formations. It worked out well, anyway, because there are lots of viewpoints and not as much hiking. Since we hadn't brought the hiking backpack for Gus, that suited us nicely!

3

It always works

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the April 1989 Conference.

I was reading Elder Gong's talk from our most recent Conference, and this line stood out to me: "Because 'God himself atoneth for the sins of the world,' the Lord’s Atonement can make whole not only what was but also what can be."

I've been wondering how Jesus "makes whole what can be." I think it has to do with possibilities—all the things that we hope for ourselves and our children, which hopes often seem so out of reach that we almost don't dare call them hopes anymore. In some ways I think I was a much more hopeful person twenty years ago than I am now, because I've now had more glimpses into the difficulties and disappointments that inevitably come into people's lives over time, and I sometimes can't see any way past those things.

But I know we are supposed to hope. And I try to. I want to believe that Christ can do for us not only what seems likely and possible, but what seems quite unlikely and impossible! And this quote from Elder Richard G. Scott back in 1989 is a perfect reminder of that:

Trust in the Lord. He knows what He is doing. He already knows of your problems. And He is waiting for you to ask for help… 

The Savior gave his life that you and I can correct mistakes, even the most serious ones. His plan is perfect. It always works for each one who follows the rules.

"It always works!" You can't get more hopeful than that. I'm so glad for apostles that point me toward such joyful realities.


Other posts in this series:

It's Dangerous to Go Alone—by Nathaniel Givens
Magnifying the Priesthood as Women—by Jan Tolman

3

The fundamental method for those who seek to know God

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the April 1989 Conference.

Dallin H. Oaks gave a great talk in this session where he talked about how revelation can aid us in all areas of our lives:

We seek learning by studying the accumulated wisdom of various disciplines and by using the powers of reasoning placed in us by our Creator. 

We should also seek learning by faith in God, the giver of revelation. I believe that many of the great discoveries and achievements in science and the arts have resulted from a God-given revelation. Seekers who have paid the price in perspiration have been magnified by inspiration.

I've seen this, and written about it, myself. But President Oaks has a larger point to make:

The acquisition of knowledge by revelation is an extra bonus to seekers in the sciences and the arts, but it is the fundamental method for those who seek to know God and the doctrines of his gospel. In this area of knowledge, scholarship and reason are insufficient… 

The Lord’s prescribed methods of acquiring sacred knowledge are very different from the methods used by those who acquire learning exclusively by study. For example, a frequent technique of scholarship is debate or adversarial discussion, a method with which I have had considerable personal experience. But the Lord has instructed us in ancient and modern scriptures that we should not contend over the points of his doctrine …Similarly, techniques devised for adversary debate or to search out differences and work out compromises are not effective in acquiring gospel knowledge. Gospel truths and testimony are received from the Holy Ghost through reverent personal study and quiet contemplation. 

I have seen some persons attempt to understand or undertake to criticize the gospel or the Church by the method of reason alone, unaccompanied by the use or recognition of revelation. When reason is adopted as the only—or even the principal—method of judging the gospel, the outcome is predetermined. One cannot find God or understand his doctrines and ordinances by closing the door on the means He has prescribed for receiving the truths of his gospel. … 

In the acquisition of sacred knowledge, scholarship and reason are not alternatives to revelation. They are a means to an end, and the end is revelation from God.… 

In our day we are experiencing an explosion of knowledge about the world and its people. But the people of the world are not experiencing a comparable expansion of knowledge about God and his plan for his children. On that subject, what the world needs is not more scholarship and technology but more righteousness and revelation.

Coming from a family of physicists, I've always had an appreciation of the role of reason in our search for truth. I love books like The Faith of a Scientist and sites like Mormon Scholars Testify. I've  seen firsthand how logic and faith can reinforce each other. But I'm also learning, as I get older, that sometimes God's ways defy earthly reason.

It seems so reasonable that we ought to learn to be good debaters—to dazzle others with our logical  reasons why their worldview is wrong. I've wished often that I had more of a gift for defending my beliefs bravely. And I certainly think God has a place in His work for others who do have that gift! Maybe I can even develop it more myself. But President Oaks himself, who does have that gift, testifies that "debate and adversarial discussion" is not God's way.

I don't know what that means for me sharing truth with others. I think there's certainly a place for sharing and even defending. But President Oaks says there's also a place for silence:

When attacked by error, truth is better served by silence than by a bad argument. 

I just think it's so interesting, in our world of shouting and tumult, to be reminded that "gospel truths and testimony are received from the Holy Ghost through reverent personal study and quiet contemplation," and that "scholarship and reason are [only] means to an end"—means intended to lead us that humble, quiet, seeking place where we can receive pure knowledge from God. And maybe we will have to keep some of that knowledge held patiently within ourselves until we have an equally quiet and personal opportunity to share it.

Revelation is the only path to learn truths about God and how to become like Him. No wonder President Nelson is pleading with us to become better at receiving it!


Other posts in this series:

The shortest distance is a straight line—by Nathaniel Givens
Do we follow the prophet enough?—by Jan Tolman

0

Longest Day Party

There have been a few times what we do on the Summer Solstice could be classified as a REAL party. You know, one with exciting "party food" and maybe even a few little decorations…but…it's been a long time ago now. (That reminds me. In French, when you want to say how long ago something was, you just say "it is" or "it was" after the amount of time. Like, "I last saw you it is four months." Or "I started learning French it is ten years." There's something I like about that. I don't know why.) At any rate, I did real party preparation it is at least six years…ha ha. Still, nothing wrong with a hastily-thrown-together celebration that doesn't make a person wilt with exhaustion to even contemplate!

This year ours looked like:

• Holding our celebration at a park a few blocks away instead of in the canyon or somewhere else exciting…but there were fire pits, which makes anything fun!

• Turkey Sandwiches on English Muffins, toasted on a griddle over a fire and turned very clumsily with marshmallow-roasting sticks

• Milk in plastic cups

• S'mores with IKEA chocolate…the very best kind of chocolate for s'mores…acquired earlier that day by a VERY intrepid individual (myself) who, when greeted with the horrifying block-long LINE to even enter Ikea—instead of turning away in defeat, entered the wrong way through the market and even mustered up the courage to walk right past the employee who was clearly at the door to make sure no one broke any rules…and who happily didn't even bat an eye at this line-avoiding backwards-store-entering…but indeed approved it!

So you see it was a very satisfactory party in spite of everything.

Our group included three big boys.

And three small boys. Goodness, they all look quite serious, don't they?

Baby Gus was content to chew his stroller strap…for a time.

And to top it all off, three girls! On a playground.

The kids always enjoy clambering around in a net.

Even Malachi! Here's he's challenging his sisters to race on some sort of obstacle course.

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