Some gifts women have

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 1996 Conference.

Elder Scott noticed something I've never noticed in the scriptures! Here's what he says:

Later, “Adam blessed God … and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God.” Adam was thinking about his responsibilities. He was trying to align his performance with the desires of the Lord.

Eve said, “Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.” Eve’s response was characteristic of a woman. She embraced all, wanted to make sure that everyone was considered. 

One response was not more correct than the other. The two perspectives resulted from the traits inherent in men and women. The Lord intends that we use those differences to fulfill His plan for happiness, personal growth, and development. By counseling together they arrived at a broader, more correct understanding of truth.

Isn't that interesting? I like reading about differences between men and women (even though it annoys me when those are overemphasized as they sometimes are…) because it gives me hope that the occasional frustration in trying to understand each other is for a reason! And I like the idea that Adam and Eve, in these two statements emphasized in the temple, were together creating a glimpse of whole truth. It makes me want to do better at seeing purpose in the different ways Sam and I sometimes want to react to or manage things, rather than just wishing we were of "one heart" all the time. I DO want to be of one heart! But maybe my current idea of unity is incomplete. That's an interesting thing to think about.

I also liked thinking about Eve's characteristic of "making sure everyone was considered" because I'm always interested in reading more about spiritual gifts I might have because of being a woman—things I might not know about or have developed yet. Wanting to embrace and bring people together is a gift I'd like to have! 

Sister Elaine Jack tells about another gift in her talk:

Many women have the gift of discernment. Often blessed with the power to know and understand beyond their experience, women draw on this strength as they visit monthly to teach in the homes or to assess needs as directed by the bishop. We use it as we nurture our children and teach them the gospel. We discern, by the power of God given to us through His Spirit that “one thing is needful.” Nothing we do is more important than the work of righteousness in our homes.

Discernment is critical for our times. President Boyd K. Packer has said, “We need women with the gift of discernment who can view the trends in the world and detect those that, however popular, are shallow.” That is exactly what we need.

Again, something I'd love to get better at. It sounds not just helpful, but essential for today, doesn't it? "Viewing the trends in the world and detecting those that, however popular, are shallow"? And discerning how to nurture or what to teach our children? There's nothing I want more! It's comforting to think that maybe I already have the innate ability inside me, and I just need to develop it by getting closer to the Spirit or drawing on the power of faith.

I have to include one last quote from this conference, only loosely related to the above, but it's so good. It's from Elder Holland's talk:

Perhaps you know people in the broad congregation of this conference, or in your local ward or stake—or in your own home—courageous people who are carrying heavy burdens and feeling private pain, who are walking through the dark valleys of this world’s tribulation…

These beloved people seek the Lord and His word with particular urgency, often revealing their true emotions only when the scriptures are opened or when the hymns are sung or when the prayers are offered. Sometimes only then do the rest of us realize they feel near the end of their strength—they are tired in brain and body and heart, they wonder if they can get through another week or another day or sometimes just another hour. They are desperate for the Lord’s help and they know that in such times of extremity nothing else will do.

Well, at least one of the purposes of general conference and the teachings of the prophets down through the ages is to declare to these very people that the Lord is equally fervent in trying to reach them, that when there is trouble His hopes and His striving and His efforts greatly exceed our own and it never ceases.

Of course I knew the truth of that already. But I love the way he says it. Equally fervent! Christ's efforts greatly exceed our own! It's so hopeful, when I think about times of discouragement when I'm desperately reaching for God, to realize HIM reaching equally (more!) desperately out to ME! Such a powerful image.

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Forecasting vs.…Aftcasting?

I found these old pictures of some of Abe and Seb's math schoolwork when they were younger, and it's been making me think about temperaments and personalities. I don't have anything profound to say about it. Just—it's interesting to see personality emerge in your children, and it's so much more complicated than "this child is calm and this child is excitable" or "this child is neat and this child is messy." And it's also interesting to think about what I thought my children would be like, based on how they were at age 8 or 10 or 14—and how what they are like differs from that. I'm guessing it will keep changing as they get older, too.

These top two math pages are Abe's, in case you were wondering.

And the three above are Seb's. It's fascinating to me, the way their brains worked! They were both meticulous and detail-oriented…but in totally different ways. And one of them required considerably more effort on my part to get him to do the math at all. We won't reveal which!

Along those lines, I think it is so strange how you can look at certain baby pictures, once the child is grown, and see that child looking back at you—the little quirk of his mouth, his skeptical expression, his unguarded smile. But when they're babies you can't look forward in time to see which specific little expressions will be part of the older person! I always want to—I want to see which parts of Clementine are just "baby" and which are going to carry through as part of HER. But I can't. It only works retroactively.

It might be something only a family member can see. But look at this:

I can tell it's Teddy, because I can kind of remember what he looked like back then, and he didn't have much hair, and his eyes are blue. But he doesn't look particularly Teddyish. Whereas this:

is so Gus-like! He was only a few months old, but that's HIM. Even though he has light hair now and a different-sized face.

Or consider these. Both rather serious. But something about the left one is a Daisy-face to me. The right one…could be someone else.

 But here, both faces look like the Daisy we know now. Even though one is sad and one happy.

Both Junie-ish

Only mildly Junie-ish

Or these of Goldie. Such a Goldie on the left, not such a Goldie on the right.

I don't know what it is! It's not their hair or their chubbiness or even their expressions, really, that make the difference. It's just…I can occasionally look back and see something that I know now peeking through, and I want to know what it is!

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Things that happened while we were hoping for Spring

Teddy and Malachi were twins! Their favorite color is both green. (Hmm, that was a strange sentence. Green is both of their favorite colors? Both of their favorite color is green? Green is their favorite color, both of them?)

Our amazing "Cabinet Man" (as the little boys call him lovingly) made us some new cabinets for our garage. They are almost done. A locker for (almost) everyone, and a place for everyone's boots and hats and shoes, too! It's going to be amazing. Now all we have to do is get the children to PUT things in their proper places. Do you think they will do it?

The cabinet man had a bunch of wood scraps which he said the girls could keep, and Junie and Goldie got very excited about building a little Calico Critters house. They have hardly used tools before, but they learned how to use the hammer and nails and the cordless drill and even the saw! There were only about…oh…five minor injuries in the course of the two or three days they spent working on it.

It turned out quite cute. It has a second story deck (with slide) and a garden balcony and a climbing vine. And there is a nice table and bed on the main floor. Very cozy.

Some people snuggled in nests

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Repentance is the basis for our hope

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 1996 Conference.

I can pretty much count on always liking President Faust's talks, and this one shows his characteristic compassion and gentleness. My favorite part was actually a quote from President Kimball that I'd never heard before:

Of vital importance is resolving transgression, experiencing the healing process which comes of repentance. As President Kimball reminds us: “The principle of repentance—of rising again whenever we fall, brushing ourselves off, and setting off again on that upward trail—is the basis for our hope. It is through repentance that the Lord Jesus Christ can work his healing miracle, infusing us with strength when we are weak, health when we are sick, hope when we are downhearted, love when we feel empty, and understanding when we search for truth.”

I've been interested in the principle of hope for a long time, but when people are trying to explain what it is, I've usually seen it connected to faith. So this connection to repentance is so interesting. Our hope comes from repentance! From "rising again," as he says. I love that! It makes sense. What could give us more hope in our ability to try again than…trying again? I also like the reminder that even though Jesus Christ works every "healing miracle"—even though all strength and power comes through Him—it is our own deliberate, conscious, specific choice to turn to Him and try again that allows His power into our lives.

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Reflections on halfway, laying hold, and changing hearts

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the October 1996 Conference.

During his talk in this session of Conference, President Hinckley read some of the questions and answers from the interview he had recently done with Mike Wallace for 60 Minutes. This feels like it was in the fairly recent past, but I had forgotten how annoying and adversarial many of the questions were. President Hinckley always maintained that Mike Wallace had been polite and professional, but I remembered, reading it, how much I despise this entire style of "journalism" with its "gotcha!" tone and hurried pacing. President Hinckley responded well, but the format didn't really allow for him to say anything substantial. And I guess that wasn't the point. Hearts usually change based on combinations of experiences, not sound bites.

I've been reflecting on this General Conference Odyssey project lately. I'm the only participant still doing it regularly right now, as it turns out. It's a little sad because part of what I liked about the idea in the first place was reading these talks with a group of other people and seeing what insights they came up with! I don't blame anyone for prioritizing other things instead. I've wondered if I should prioritize other things instead. I'm not sure what's keeping me going. A bit of stubbornness, probably, since when I started I questioned if it was possible to commit to ANY weekly project for 14 years, and I kind of wanted to prove that it was. But beyond that, there's just something I like about knowing that I'm gaining at least a cursory relationship with everything the prophets have said in the recent past—ever since my parents were raising their first children, all through my growing-up years, into the years I was starting a family of my own, and all the way back to today. 

If I keep reading at this same rate, I'm about halfway through, with seven years to go. I'll finish sometime around 2029, which means my oldest son Abe will be 27—only 9 years younger than I was when I started reading these talks and writing about them. Honestly, I'm hoping the Second Coming of Jesus Christ will have occurred by then, but I'm also more and more aware of how quickly seven years goes by. And I'm really enjoying this connection with the church's past, its growing "canon," along with the scriptures. I know it's what our current prophets are saying now that matters most, but I like it when someone quotes an older talk and I can think, "Hey, I remember that!" And I like seeing the continuity of the doctrine; I like hearing the way the previous General Authorities loved and pleaded with their people; I like realizing that "the youth" they were pleading with then are the leaders and teachers now. I like seeing the way Heavenly Father guides his covenant children step by step, and how the Savior's voice is in and through it all. It's not quite like reading the Old Testament—but it's got some of the same generation-binding feeling, thinking of my parents following prophetic counsel as I try to now, and as I hope my children will someday too.

So, for now, I'll keep reading (hoping someone else will join or rejoin me at some point). I love this reflection about some of the tangible, life-changing blessings a simple study of our Conference "canon" can yield. Like Nathaniel, I feel like it's been nothing but good for me, and while it's mostly the reading that's good, it's the writing (or the prospect of writing) that makes me a much better reader, so I'll keep at that too. Most weeks I feel like I have nothing very worthwhile to say, but trying to synthesize and restate what lessons I'm learning is a tangible way for me to "lay hold" on these words. 

And I guess that's the thing about hearing the words of the prophets, whether they're ancient or modern or anywhere in between. This is something you hear missionaries say all the time, but I think about it every time Conference comes around again: it's the spirit of Jesus Christ that changes hearts. President Hinckley's interview on 60 Minutes wasn't going to "convert" anyone. And neither is President Nelson or President Oaks or President Eyring's talk in conference. Yet every time I listen or read, I feel my own conversion deepen! How is it done? I think it's because it's not their words that change me. It's not even the goals I make based on those words, exactly, because I fail at those, as often as not. It's just…continuing to engage, because the Spirit comes when I act. Whenever and to whatever extent I make the active effort to look for meaning and guidance from God—I find it.

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Keeping our balance and moving forward

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week we take a break from the October 1996 Conference to respond to the General Conference that happened a few days ago, the April 2022 Conference.

It was a good Conference, as always! The transcripts were put up on the church website yesterday or today, but I haven't read any of them yet. I wanted to type out my quick notes before I read them, because it's sometimes interesting to see what I heard compared to what the speakers actually said! Ha!

As far as overall themes, I definitely felt a strong emphasis on responding in Christlike ways to opposition. And not just the usual trials of mortality (though I'm sure we all need work on dealing with those too), but specifically opposition directed at us by Satan or enemies of the church. The focus on eliminating contention and being a peacemaker in spite of whatever comes our way seemed to run through practically every talk!

The other major emphasis I saw was missionary work. As I've been thinking about it, that topic actually goes well with being a peacemaker, because we can't share the gospel effectively until we're full of God's love! And maybe I was more attentive to the missionary themes because of Abe being on his mission right now. (Although I know, I know, not only full-time missionaries can share the gospel!)

All right, here are my hasty thoughts and favorite tidbits, from my none-too-coherent notes (at least I was able, unlike last time, to take a few notes). All quotes are paraphrases from my notes and not the speakers' exact words, but I'll link to the actual talks as well.

• Favorite talk by far was President Nelson's on Sunday. Can that man give a bad talk? He's always been a good speaker (and I should know; as part of this General Conference Odyssey I've read every Conference talk he's given since he was first called) but I feel like his talks since he became President of the Quorum of the Twelve and then the President of the Church have just gotten more and more insightful and full of power. I can imagine myself studying every part of this talk and I hope I can figure out how to put it all in to action! I was struck by the part about "burying our tempers, sharp tongues, and resentment" as well as outright "contention." As a conflict-avoider, I sometimes need reminding that just because I don't go around yelling at people (though I do more of THAT then I'd like to as well, with my poor children)—doesn't mean I have a heart free of contention. 

• I liked his theme of ending ALL conflict "even within our own hearts"—and that phrasing gave me the idea that maybe even my internal battles (with MYSELF!)—trying to banish cynicism, learn to hope for the best, and trust God to prevail—could be a type of "conflict." I can seek peace from those conflicts as well as the external kind! President Nelson's plea to "do the spiritual work to seek miracles" seems related. I need to learn to actively choose, lay hold of, grasp onto, hope and trust in the Savior! And it's encouraging to think that those efforts can build on each other to create the "spiritual momentum" I so need.

• I also needed the reminder that "it can be hard to let go of what seems fully justified anger—and yet, as followers of the Prince of Peace, we must." 

• From President Oaks, I liked that "the bearing and nurturing of children is a joyful and sacred duty." Also that "the family is centered not just in mortality, but in eternity."

• I was struck by President Ballard's story about losing the sight in one of his eyes—during General Conference!! Of all the times you'd think God would be there in the details helping the participants…but President Ballard didn't seem bothered by the "unfairness" of that at all. Instead, he trustingly spoke of what he is grateful for and how his trial helped him see that more clearly. It was a real-time example of the kind of faith and trust I was talking about above! I also liked when he said "The Lord already knows you—a mission helps you come to know Him."

• Elder Holland had a characteristically pithy insight about "beginning our search for happiness by embracing the bounty we've already received." What a cool way to say we're happier when we're grateful! I also liked his phrase "the discipline to guard against negative attitudes," and how he linked "discipline" to "disciple." Sometimes negative attitudes seem…inevitable, with things how they are in the world. So it was good to remember that disciples of Christ choose another way. (Another echo of President Nelson's charge above!)

• Elder Uchtdorf's talk was another of my favorites, maybe tied with President Nelson's. I liked it partly because I felt there was more in there than I could comprehend at the time. His bicycle/balance analogy seems like it could be life-changing, if I could actually apply it! I liked the parallel he drew between the scriptural command to "offer our whole souls as an offering" and the ability to keep our discipleship undivided.  He said something like, "Balance is not dividing your life between a bunch of competing interests, one of which is discipleship. Instead, balance comes when we focus on our destination and get pedaling, keeping our balance and moving forward in a constant direction. The motivating power beyond it all is Jesus Christ." 

• Elder Uchtdorf also said, "It is all one work, one joy, one holy purpose—that of loving and serving God and his children in a hundred different ways." I need to give it more thought, but I think that will mean something like taking everything I'm doing, and thinking of it ALL in relationship to how it can bring me closer to Christ. Like, how can I come to Christ through cooking—teaching my children—serving in my calling—grocery shopping—helping Seb with math homework—writing letters to Abe—planting flowers—getting the children to stop fighting—etc. Ha! Like I said, I'm not sure exactly how to do this, but I love the idea of sort of bringing all the threads of my life into one place like that!

• I loved Elder Bednar talking about "heed not." I definitely need to improve in the ability to "pay no attention to" mockers or scoffers or attackers. I also thought this tied in with the thoughts on finding peace and being grateful from the other speakers I've mentioned, when Elder Bednar said "Faith fortifies us…it's a principle of action and power that gives us the capacity to press forward while focusing on joys." Sounds exactly like President Nelson's spiritual momentum and Elder Uchtdorf's bike riding!

• I also thought it was powerful to think with Elder Bednar about the "covenant connection that binds us with Savior and Father. It's deeply personal and powerful as we are drawn to Him. He becomes an influence on our every desire thought and action…It's hard to describe, but it is real and a source of spiritual strength. It gives us courage and helps us not heed the wicked." I love the idea of it being the covenant relationship that saves us from caring what the Great and Spacious Building thinks! It makes sense. If I know Jesus loves and approves of me, what do I care if anyone else does?

• And that's exactly where Elder Christofferson took his talk, yet another one about being refined by our trials. He said, "Rather than get angry with God, get close to God." And, "Having a relationship means continuing to turn to God!" I love that. It reminds me of the idea that we can ONLY "fail" by ceasing to try. That's a very comforting doctrine to think of in relation to my own children, and I like it as it pertains to being a child of God too!

• Elder Andersen's talk (another favorite) made me notice the word "quench" for the first time in the scripture about the fiery darts of the wicked. He said something like "Quenching means cooling and calming. How do we quench? Not by shrinking—but always void of anger or malice. The strength to do this comes from faith in Jesus' words about peacemakers." He also pointed out that "sometimes Jesus said nothing, and sometimes we also have to resist the impulse to respond at all. We have to simply withdraw from the circle of anger and contention. We can move away and bless the lives of others without totally isolating ourselves in our own corner." 

• "Whenever we show love to our neighbors, we preach the gospel," said Elder Stevenson. So simple and powerful.

• I also thought this was logical (and empowering) from his talk: "We share all kinds of other things with those around us—movies, food, favorite places to travel, etc.—so why not add the things we love about the gospel too? We are just sharing what we love. There are hundreds of possible invitations we can give. This is not a new program, but just part of who we are." It reminds me so much of Uchtdorf's talk on balance. It makes me think that this testimony and conviction and relationship with the Savior should be just…beaming out from us, almost without effort (though of course it DOES take effort, and the Lord loves effort). But I got the idea that sharing the gospel doesn't have to be…a separate thing. It's just who we are. How we live. The balance that keeps us pedaling forward. None of this is new doctrine but it's a new way for me to think about it!

• I liked Elder Renlund saying that "when we don't feel God's love, we can try to improve our receptivity by asking if our own love is constant."

• Elder Gong's talk was great. He intrigues me. I wish I could just hear him tell us his whole life story. But I loved his theme of "gather in both directions—as daughters and as mothers and aunts and cousins. Gather pictures and record memories. Let the adventure of family life be natural and spontaneous." It encapsulates everything I want to do with this family blog, and makes me want to expand that outward to family history and learning more of my parents and ancestors. 

• And just a little snippet from Elder Mark L. Pace's talk that stuck out to me—this was what someone had listed to Elder Pace as being one of the blessings of studying the "Come Follow Me" curriculum—"I've been able to know my husband's heart more deeply and open my own heart more deeply to him as we study the scriptures together." That is a pretty profound blessing, when I think of it. As someone who likes to know other people's hearts and share my own, but sometimes feels like I'm not good at it—especially as my children get older and more opaque to me—I love the idea that studying the scriptures together could bring this benefit.

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