Ziggy's first…year…of kindergarten?

I've been…well, not amazingly consistent about first-day-of-kindergarten pictures for the children. But I have captured most of them, sweetly standing with their backbacks (we always give them a backpack for their 5th birthdays) at the front door. Surprisingly, Ziggy is the first kindergartner to start school in this new house! Teddy started in 2020 just a couple weeks before we moved here.

Of course, since my kindergartners haven't gone AWAY to school for…let's see…thirteen years now, one might question why they would need backpacks? Or to stand by the front door, for that matter? Well, I don't know. But they manage to make all kinds of use of those backpacks somehow! And the front door too!

So, although we are a few months late for the actual start of kindergarten, I made Zig go out and pose with his backpack to make sure we mark his kindergarten year with a picture! It's so fun to have him in school with us. I wasn't sure how it was going to work, honestly. He's always been such a wanderer…spending whole days outside pretending to be a "man" of some kind or other…and living in his own world. It seemed almost a shame to pull him away from that! That's mostly why I waited until he was actually "kindergarten age" based on school deadlines (i.e., age five on Sept 1st) rather than starting him last year (even though he turned five on…Sept 5th!).

This year he was turning six and it felt like the right time. We started school on his birthday and he was pretty excited, but on Day 3 we dragged him in for school from playing outside, and he yelled despairingly, “But I’m afraid I’m going to learrrrnnnnn somethiiiiiinng!!” So that wasn't the most auspicious beginning! Ha!

 

Luckily, I've learned a thing or two about teaching funny, wiggly, imaginative little boys over the years. I lured him in with a unit on Caves…then one on Pirates. And in the new year I'm going to hit him with Emergency Workers and he'll be hooked for life! 😄 I hope so, anyway!

What else to say about Ziggy? He loves dogs (especially huskies at the moment). He loves riding his bike. He (still) loves dressing up and "being" men. He took to reading maybe faster than any other of my kids, or at least as fast, although he's still working his way through the "100 Easy Lessons" reading book. He loves drawing, mostly Police Cars and Fire Engines, but also other surprising and interesting things. He reminds me a lot of little Sebby (in fact I just realized that I titled these pictures "seb_kindergarten_pics" in their file names!) but he's also his own man! I'm so glad he's growing up to be exactly who he is!

And here's a picture from September, closer to his actual first day of kindergarten, just for posterity!

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Nutcracker musings the public has(n't) been clamoring for

Maybe I say this every year, but the girls' progress in ballet is such a marvel to me. I hear them practicing the piano every day. And I see what they are doing in school, their spelling, their math, etc. But—you know how, for example, you might see your young nieces and nephews once a year—and every time, they've grown so much that they look like whole different people? But you never see that in your own kids because you see them every day? Well, ballet is the equivalent of that. I just drop the girls' off at their classes and never see them dancing. I know they're doing it, but in my mind they're just staying about the same skill level all the time. So then when I see them every six months in a performance—it's like they're entirely new dancers! They're amazing! Their improvements are staggering! It kind of makes me wish I could see the rest of their accomplishments through the same eyes, because I'm sure they're making similar progress that is hidden to me by familiarity.

And I also think I say this every year, but Sam's and my outlook on ballet as a whole has been…mixed. We've wondered and prayed a lot about if this is a worthwhile activity for the girls. Obviously there are plenty of good things about it, but the "dance world"…is not really a place we've wanted any of our daughters to end up permanently. We've known far too many deeply troubled dancers, sadly. But I'm sure it doesn't have to be that way…and we do like their little studio, we like that they offer daytime/homeschool classes, we like the things the director does—and does not—focus on. So we've been happy there. But every year it's a debate whether we keep it up another year. The girls LOVE it. They love it more all the time. But is it the best thing to do with time and resources, for them and for our family? That's the question I'm endlessly asking.

So, all of that said, I was astonished when Daisy and Junie told me that "everyone was saying" one of the two of them was going to be picked for Clara in the Nutcracker this year. I just had no idea that this thing which I keep thinking of as "a harmless-enough-for-now hobby that we might not even stick with forever"—might be becoming something they actually, objectively, excelled at. I hadn't realized that they, themselves, might begin to identify in some measure as dancers or ballerinas and not just "girls who did ballet."

Anyway, it's been an interesting realization or shift in perspective for me, and I'm not sure where it will lead. I still don't think they should, or will, pursue ballet past high school—but it's also interesting to think that I might not be the one who decides whether they do or not. And that I might not be the best person to decide. Hmmm! Life is so interesting as kids get older.

But for now, it has been just such a novel and surprising few months helping the three of them (especially Daisy and Junie) get ready for what was, legitimately, a major performance in which they played major roles. (Their studio is, obviously, not Ballet West or anything. But still! The girls worked really hard!) Daisy ended up getting cast as Clara, and we all wished she could have shared the part with Junie. But Junie's (six!) parts were challenging and amazing too. And Goldie keeps catching up in levels with girls way older than her. They're all remarkable. I've loved ballet ever since I was a little girl (watching it, mostly—I never took enough lessons to be remotely serious about it), watched good friends dance their way through the Nutcracker from Gingersnap all the way through Sugarplum Fairy, and I would never in a million years have guessed one of my own daughters could ever be Clara! And I was just so surprised and happy for her to get the chance!

(First moments on stage. Note Maid Junie pushing Fritz right out there!)

So there's all the backstory. But then there's another story too, and it feels like one of those things that is almost too special to share, but then it also feels like I can't share these pictures and NOT the story behind them. Just consider this a journal entry for Daisy to read and remember when she's older, I guess! Because here's what happened: the girls did the matinee performance, in which they had a bunch of parts but another girl was Clara. And during the hardest dance, the Russian dance, Daisy and Junie are alone onstage with their friend Levi, and it's SO fun to watch. They just leap and twirl all over the place.

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Consumed with Costumes

I think my girls love wearing their ballet costumes above all other things! Besides getting to wear make-up for the performance, I suppose. They do love that too. Things were weird with the dress rehearsals this year (something about the middle school where they perform charging more money…it's crazy how much it costs to rent out a [sorry to say it, but rather dim and mediocre] school auditorium!) so it seemed like they never had their costumes on in the daylight. And there was never any time! We were always rushing everywhere…rushing to get to class on time, rushing home to make dinner, rushing to Young Women's and Activity Days, rushing from cross-country practice, rushing to pick up Malachi from work…it makes me tired to remember it.

I did get a few photos at one of the dress rehearsals, when they were taking pictures of Daisy for the program.

I love this view of Daisy and her teachers looking over the photos, surrounded by racks of costumes…they were telling her things like, "Okay, lift your leg a little straighter and curve your arms a little more!" It took forever to get the shot exactly how they wanted it! (Meanwhile I was getting more and more annoyed about the dinner getting cold at home!)

(Daisy's smile was a little forced too after doing this for the ten thousandth time)

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Who so singularly loves us

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 2003 Conference.

I'm late posting this week, Christmas week, so I'll just leave you with a quote from one of my favorite talks of all time—Elder Holland's beautiful talk on God the Father.

That single, riveting scene [of God weeping over the world] does more to teach the true nature of God than any theological treatise could ever convey. It also helps us understand much more emphatically that vivid moment in the Book of Mormon allegory of the olive tree, when after digging and dunging, watering and weeding, trimming, pruning, transplanting, and grafting, the great Lord of the vineyard throws down his spade and his pruning shears and weeps, crying out to any who would listen, “What could I have done more for my vineyard?”

What an indelible image of God’s engagement in our lives! What anguish in a parent when His children do not choose Him nor “the gospel of God” He sent! How easy to love someone who so singularly loves us!…

Jesus did not come to improve God’s view of man nearly so much as He came to improve man’s view of God and to plead with them to love their Heavenly Father as He has always and will always love them. The plan of God, the power of God, the holiness of God, yes, even the anger and the judgment of God they had occasion to understand. But the love of God, the profound depth of His devotion to His children, they still did not fully know—until Christ came.

So feeding the hungry, healing the sick, rebuking hypocrisy, pleading for faith—this was Christ showing us the way of the Father, He who is “merciful and gracious, slow to anger, long-suffering and full of goodness.” In His life and especially in His death, Christ was declaring, “This is God’s compassion I am showing you, as well as that of my own.”…

I bear personal witness this day of a personal, living God, who knows our names, hears and answers prayers, and cherishes us eternally as children of His spirit. I testify that amidst the wondrously complex tasks inherent in the universe, He seeks our individual happiness and safety above all other godly concerns.

I loved this talk when I first heard it. But I didn't, couldn't, feel the truth of it half as powerfully before having the experiences I've had in the last 20 years; before having children of my own whom I have loved and cried over and feared for and often failed. My great and only hope rests in the love of our Heavenly Father and His perfect plan and His perfect son. Because of Them, all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well. I am so grateful for that truth!

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Four Lucias

What's this? Am I really posting about Santa Lucia Day before Christmas? I suppose I haven't actually pressed "publish" so I shouldn't count my chickens yet…

We've celebrated our share of Santa Lucia Days on the wrong day, due to scheduling conflicts. We've also gotten up early-early to have the rolls done before morning departures. This year looked like it was going to be a get-up-early year, but then I found out Malachi didn't need to be at cross-country in the morning, so we did a sort of hybrid where I got up early-early to make a pan of rolls for Sam before he left, and then we did Wave Two a little later for everyone else. It meant the girls didn't get to bring Daddy his lussekatter and cocoa in bed…and they were sad about that…but at least everyone else got a bit more sleep!

One more hug for Blankie…

…then to work! It was still dark enough to work by candlelight, which was cozy and nice. The camera actually makes the room look lighter than it was!

I decided to try something new and make the lussekatter dough the night before. Then as I was doing that, the girls reminded me that I had actually done the same thing last year! Huh. I have no memory of it, but it must have worked. It worked fine this year too. I made the dough at 11 pm or so, put it in the fridge for the bulk rise, got up (just for a minute) at 3 am and punched it down and put it on the counter for another bulk rise, then got up at 5:30 am to do the rest of the shaping and the rise on the pan. 

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The most commonplace of lives

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the October 2003 Conference.

I like reading talks about the Priesthood. They feel so much more relevant to me than they used to—even the ones from back before people talked as much about women's connection to priesthood authority and power. My understanding of those principles has grown a lot in recent years, I think. But the talk I noticed most in this session was about something I don't feel very knowledgeable about—connection to our ancestors. President Faust said,

We can have exciting experiences as we learn about our vibrant, dynamic ancestors. They were very real, living people with problems, hopes, and dreams like we have today.

In many ways each of us is the sum total of what our ancestors were. The virtues they had may be our virtues, their strengths our strengths, and in a way their challenges could be our challenges. Some of their traits may be our traits.

I'm so interested in this idea. I can see lots of ways I resemble my mom and my dad. But I just don't know my farther-back ancestors well enough to make those connections! My mom often told us stories about our pioneer heritage, so I know about Robert Gardner and Alma Helaman Hale coming across the plains, and the Fonnesbecks leaving Denmark and coming to Cache Valley, and I've read histories of the Nelsons who settled in Malad and then Milton. But I've never seen myself in any of those people, and maybe that's just because I haven't looked? Or I haven't tried hard enough to see them as real people like me? I definitely haven't helped my kids learn much about them either. I do feel a sense that my ancestors matter, that they care about me and I should know them better. But I just haven't found a way to DO that yet, I guess. So it will be something I keep working on!

President Faust continues:

It is a joy to become acquainted with our forebears who died long ago.…

I have been fascinated by learning of some of the unknown, ordinary people whose records tell of heroic lives. Arthur R. Bassett once said: “Who among us wants to throw stones at their own ancestors? I, for one, am intrigued by their battles—their victories as well as their defeats. … I am fascinated by what may seem the most commonplace of lives, because I have come to realize the excitement that is concealed in the commonplace.”

 

Other posts in this series:

Individual Responsibility—by Rozy

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In the Hands of God

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 2003 Conference.

I liked Elder W. Craig Zwick's talk "The Lord Thy God Will Hold Thy Hand." He talks about the symbolism of God's hands and how they show care and power. It's a symbol I've always liked too! Elder Zwick says:

To be in the hands of God would suggest that we are not only under His watchful care but also that we are guarded and protected by His wondrous power.

Elder Zwick tells an experience where he blessed his tiny premature baby and was amazed that his own hands could hold such power and authority from God. I've felt that same amazement as Sam has given priesthood blessings to our family. But even beyond that, I was struck by the image of trust implied by being held in someone's hands (as we hold a baby). It just feels so touching to imagine God holding us in his hands like that—gently and carefully, carrying us wherever we need to be. Elder Zwick says,

The great plan of happiness includes a proverbial roller coaster of challenging times along with the most joyful times. Yes, we all have our moments of difficulty and heartbreak. Occasionally, they are so difficult for us that we just want to give up. There are times when our steps are unsteady, when we feel discouraged and even reach out in desperation.…

Just as little children trust, each of us must have that same childlike, unreserved trust. We must all remember that we are sons and daughters of God and that He loves us very much. If we truly understand who we are, we will have an unfailing source of hope and comfort.

And then he gave this interesting insight:

Imagine the wounds in [Jesus'] hands. His weathered hands, yes, even His hands of torn flesh and physical sacrifice, give our own hands greater power and direction.

It is the wounded Christ who leads us through our moments of difficulty. It is He who bears us up when we need more air to breathe or direction to follow or even more courage to continue.

I haven't thought about how much comfort "the wounded Christ" gives, but it's true. Part of what helps me want to trust Him is remembering what He was willing to go through in order to truly understand me—the wounds he accepted so He would know how to succor His people. Knowing He did this, knowing He will always act from a place of compassion and understanding, gives me such confidence that He can lead me out of any difficulty.

Other posts in this series:

The Standard of Truth—by Rozy

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An indeterminate period of Fall

I don't know why it seems so indecent to post pictures of early Fall when it's late Fall. For some reason this is the time of year time passes so fast that each group of pictures feels like it belongs to some unreachable, unfathomable past. Was all of this only a month or two ago? Seems unlikely. But here we are.

Ziggy got some birthday money from Grandma Nielson and pestered Sam until he took him out to the store to spend it. (It was a month past his birthday by then.) Somehow he found this cute little barking husky dog and he was SO HAPPY. He even had some more money left to buy some little toy cars. Half the time, I deposit the birthday money for the kids and have them pay their tithing on it, and then forget about it (sorry Grandma). But I should remember to let them go out and spend it more often, because it is so fun for them!

Here are some other goings-on from October and November:

Pretty temple

———

Coloring in the sunlight

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 Beautiful sunrise! I like the brief window of days when the sunrise happens right at the time we're getting up for scriptures. Seems like it doesn't last long.

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Persuaded of Promises

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the October 2003 Conference.

Sister Anne C. Pingree's talk was named from one of my favorite scriptures (Hebrews11:13): "Seeing the Promises Afar Off."

Faith, the spiritual ability to be persuaded of promises that are seen “afar off” but that may not be attained in this life, is a sure measure of those who truly believe.

It matters not where we live or what our individual circumstances may be. Each day our righteous living can demonstrate a faith in Jesus Christ that sees beyond mortal heartaches, disappointments, and unfulfilled promises. It is a glorious thing to possess a faith that enables us to look forward to that day “when all that was promised the Saints will be given.”

A few years ago when President Nelson asked us to study God's promises to Covenant Israel, I made a list and hung it on my bathroom wall. It's still hanging there, and sometimes I forget to even see it, but every time I start reading it I'm overcome with gratitude. I've found so much hope and comfort in these promises! This talk reminded me that I should revisit them again (and maybe even start looking for more to add to the list)!

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Thanksgiving, and a Flight

 

Thanksgiving was great! If one measures one's Thanksgiving success by numbers of pies made, it was our best ever—ten pies!

Only a blurry picture of them, sadly, as if through the lens of memory. O that we were still eating these now! Chocolate Chip Cookie Pie (3), Lemon Sour Cream Pie (3), Caramel Apple Cheesecake (1), Pomegranate Cream Cheese (2), and Peanut Butter Chocolate (1).

A better picture of the caramel apple cheesecake. This was my favorite this year. SO good.

And lemon sour cream, my other perennial favorite. If I could only have one kind of pie for the rest of my life, it would be this one.

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Every day looking forward to new adventures

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Young Women's Session of the April 2003 Conference.

A senior couple in our ward gave their mission farewell talks last Sunday. It was one of several missions for the man (I think he said nine! Including several service missions from home), but the first for the woman (his second wife). They're going to Angola, and she was SO excited. It was so cute and so inspiring to listen to her talk about her nervousness, her excitement, and her faith, and to hear her bear testimony in her new, broken Portuguese. Just like when I heard Elder Rasband speak in the October Conference, I felt drawn toward that time in my life when I'll (God willing) get to serve a mission with Sam! When that time comes, I want to feel the excitement and enthusiasm this sister radiated!

In this Young Women's Session of conference, the Young Women's Presidency spoke on the theme of "Pressing forward with a perfect brightness of hope." I love learning about hope and I liked all three talks, but I especially thought Sister Beck's take on "the three great hopes" was interesting. (She says the three great hopes are the Atonement, the Resurrection, and Eternal Life.) This is what she said about the third one:

With the hope of the Atonement and the Resurrection, you have a third great hope, the hope of eternal life. Because you have a Savior, you can plan for a future that extends beyond this life. If you keep the commandments, you are promised eternal life. You can also prepare yourself by studying and learning and by becoming “acquainted with all good books, and … languages, … and people.”

I never thought about learning and preparing for the future as especially "hopeful" actions, but of course they are. And it seems particularly hopeful to prepare for an old age full of useful, fulfilling service—even knowing that your mind and body will be gradually slowing down. My Mother-in-law's sister was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's and it's been sad and eye-opening to think about what she must be thinking and feeling through that diagnosis. My Dad died before he ever met seven of my children. My Grandma had mini-strokes that changed her personality in the last ten years of her life. There are so many unknowns! But I love the thought that we're preparing for "a future that extends beyond this life" and that the things we work for, desire, and hope for will be part of our futures, in this life or beyond it.

It's a little funny to be thinking about old age while listening to these talks to the young women! But I guess it's because back when I first heard this talk, I was a young mother (baby Abe was 6 months old!) with all my family life still ahead of me. Now I'm looking ahead to the next stage as our children will leave home and start their own families. Admittedly that time is a long way away for Clementine—but now I know how fast it goes. And it makes me feel the same half-fear, half-curiosity to see what that next stage will really be like—and how will I handle it? Well, I want to handle it like so many wonderful women I know—my own mother and mother-in-law among them—who just keep preparing for the future with hope! Sister Beck says:

My mother has stayed in the Savior’s path with unshaken faith in Him (see 2 Ne. 31:19) all the days of her life. She wakes up every day looking forward to new adventures. For her, life is so interesting, and she still has so much to learn.

Because you have a Savior, you also believe in a happy, eternal life of creating, serving, and learning. You are already in the strait and narrow path, and there is hope smiling brightly before you.

I want to keep working toward this happy life of creating, serving, and learning too!

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Do these children know that we love God?

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the April 2003 Conference.

First of all. In this session I learned that what I have always thought/feared about Elder Scott is true! Elder Spencer V. Jones recounts:

While attending a youth fireside with Elder Richard G. Scott, I noticed five youths scattered among the congregation whose countenances or body language almost screamed that something was spiritually amiss in their lives. After the meeting, when I mentioned the five youths to Elder Scott, he simply replied, “There were eight.”

Elder Scott could see into our souls! I knew it! He always seemed like he could, and now we know he could.

Next: there were two talks I loved in this session. One was Elder Packer's "The Golden Years," and I don't know why I liked it so much. I don't think I am in my "golden years"…yet. I didn't even highlight any specific quotes from the talk. But the talk just gave me this sense of excitement and purpose (potential purpose?). It made me wish I had more life experience and wisdom (even though I know that gaining such experience and wisdom is usually…hard) and it made me grateful for the things (even hard things) I've come to know so far. It made me want to get to know the older people in my family and ward better, and to learn from them more. It gave me a shift in perspective about my own upcoming "golden years"—realizing that they can be beneficial and important not only for my own growth, but also for those I can serve and mentor—and it reminded me that all stages of life are part of God's plan!

The other talk was Elder Holland's talk "A Prayer for the Children," which I feel like I've quoted here several times, because I think about it a lot. (The part I always remember is: "From a grandfather who is cynical to a son who is agnostic to a grandson who is now looking desperately for what God had already once given his family!" Oh, it's so sad!)

But there are other parts I'd forgotten. I liked this:

Even then we know that some children will make choices that break their parents’ hearts. Moms and dads can do everything right and yet have children who stray. Moral agency still obtains. But even in such painful hours it will be comforting for you to know that your children knew of your abiding faith in Christ, in His true Church, in the keys of the priesthood and in those who hold them. It will be comforting then for you to know that if your children choose to leave the straight and narrow way, they leave it very conscious that their parents were firmly in it.

For some reason it doesn't always feel comforting to me when people say things like, "As long as you did your best with your kids, you don't have to worry." Because I very rarely feel like I am "doing my best," and I always think I should be doing a better best! But this was comforting—to think, instead of "doing my best"—do I have faith in Christ and in his true church and in the keys of the priesthood? YES! I do! No question about it. Do I, and have I, let my children know about that faith? Again—yes! Certainly I haven't lived it perfectly. But I don't think there would be any question in their minds whether or not I really believed. 

He elaborates even further:

Do our children know that we love the scriptures? Do they see us reading them and marking them and clinging to them in daily life? Have our children ever unexpectedly opened a closed door and found us on our knees in prayer? Have they heard us not only pray with them but also pray for them out of nothing more than sheer parental love? Do our children know we believe in fasting as something more than an obligatory first-Sunday-of-the-month hardship? Do they know that we have fasted for them and for their future on days about which they knew nothing? Do they know we love being in the temple, not least because it provides a bond to them that neither death nor the legions of hell can break? Do they know we love and sustain local and general leaders, imperfect as they are, for their willingness to accept callings they did not seek in order to preserve a standard of righteousness they did not create? Do those children know that we love God with all our heart and that we long to see the face—and fall at the feet—of His Only Begotten Son? I pray that they know this.

I pray that they know it too. Again—I don't do these things perfectly. And I'm constantly working on making them more apparent, more sincere, more obvious to my children. I often worry that my example isn't good enough or my faith isn't strong and clear enough, but if the question is simply "Do you really love God?" then yes. I can answer yes. And I think this is such a beautiful image for those of us (all of us?) who worry so much over our children—

Brothers and sisters, our children take their flight into the future with our thrust and with our aim. And even as we anxiously watch that arrow in flight and know all the evils that can deflect its course after it has left our hand, nevertheless we take courage in remembering that the most important mortal factor in determining that arrow’s destination will be the stability, strength, and unwavering certainty of the holder of the bow.

Unwavering certainty. Do I have that? About most things—no. But about the fact that God loves me, and I love Him? Yes! I know it, and I hope my children know I know it.

Other posts in this series:

Follow the Instructions—by Rozy

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Red and Barny

The little pumpkin patch we liked to go to in years past had a homeschool discount day! That was happy news because it's lately gotten too expensive for us to go…at least not all of us. But we could manage a discounted weekday morning (if we skipped ballet) so we packed up and went!

Interesting looks on these two boys' faces

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Halloween on Morn and E'en

Halloween! Our ward had a trunk-or-treat this year in mid-October. I admit I'm not really a fan of trunk-or-treats (or, I guess, I'm not a fan of trunk-or-treats IN ADDITION to regular trick-or-treating…it feels like overkill) but people came up with such fun themed costumes and themed trunks, it was really fun to see. Several families even had little games for the kids to play at their trunks! So that was fun. And, of course, the children are always happy for a chance to wear two different costumes!

Goldie and Daisy came up with Goldie's amazing pirate costume with stuff we had around the house (the coat is from Seb's British Soldier costume years ago!). They even made a gold earring out of a paper clip! So cute. And of course, she needed a little parrot on her shoulders! (Gus did NOT want Clementine wearing his Caw Costume. He had to be hastily gotten out of the way while this picture was taken.)

Then nothing would do but that Gus also got into the Caw Costume, so HE could be the pirate parrot!

Goodness, they are cute!

Ziggy had a different costume in mind, but when he saw Goldie he decided he would be a pirate too, and figured out how to make it happen.

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Your peace of mind depends upon your trust

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the April 2003 Conference.

This was such a good session of Conference and I had a hard time choosing which talk to write about! Elder Maxwell of course is always amazing. Sister Tanner gave a wonderful talk on motherhood, home, and family, subjects I am always interested in. Elder Neuenschwander's talk on holy places has provided the theme I've been focusing on with my children this year about making our home a place of refuge. I've been trying to get them to internalize this principle:

Amidst the bustle of the secular world, with its certain uncertainty, there must be places that offer spiritual refuge, renewal, hope, and peace.…Our homes, likewise, are holy places filled with sacred space. Though not always tranquil, our homes can be filled with the Spirit of the Lord…The establishment of our homes as holy places reflects the depth of sacrifice we are willing to make for them.

So I loved all of that! But even so, my favorite talk was Elder Scott's, titled (with great exactness) "The Sustaining Power of Faith in Times of Uncertainty and Testing." He said a lot of things about faith that gave me new ways of looking at it. For example, I've heard so many times that true faith is always founded in Jesus Christ, not in some other thing. But I loved this expanded or more specific definition:

To employ its power, faith must be founded on something. There is no more solid foundation than faith in the love Heavenly Father has for you, faith in His plan of happiness, and faith in the capacity and willingness of Jesus Christ to fulfill all of His promises.

I actually find all of those things easy to believe! I already believe them! The hard part, of course, is making my thoughts and actions line up with those beliefs—but I still like the idea that if I cling to and build on them, they will be a strong foundation for me.

He also defines the phrase "trial of your faith" a little differently. I always thought having your "faith tried" meant "having something really hard happen to you." But Elder Scott says 

Every time you try your faith, that is, act in worthiness on an impression, you will receive the confirming evidence of the Spirit. Those feelings will fortify your faith. As you repeat that pattern, your faith will become stronger.

I like the idea of trying your faith meaning just—trying it out. Using it. Practicing it. "Trials" give us the chance to practice, but so do everyday decisions and small annoyances. All of those things can help us improve. He says:

Faith will forge strength of character available to you in times of urgent need. Such character is not developed in moments of great challenge or temptation. That is when it is used. Character is woven patiently from threads of principle, doctrine, and obedience.…

Our Father’s plan is marvelous. Your exercise of faith builds character. Fortified character expands your capacity to exercise faith. Thus, your confidence in conquering the trials of life is enhanced. And the strengthening cycle continues. The more your character is fortified, the more enabled you are to exercise the power of faith.

And then here was my favorite part of the whole talk. You can, of course, imagine Elder Scott saying this in his calm, steady, reassuring voice:

No matter what occurs, no matter how topsy-turvy the world becomes, you can always have the sustaining power of faith. That will never change. The perfect love of your Father in Heaven will never change. His gospel plan gives life meaning and can assure your happiness. His plan is not only to prove yourself here on earth but also that you may receive the growth that comes from correct decisions prompted by faith, enabled by your obedience.

Why worry about future calamities or uncertainties over which you have no control? Your righteous character magnifies the probability that you will never have to suffer them. When challenges and testing do come, your faith will lead you to solutions.

He makes it sound so simple! And it is simple! The extent to which we trust Heavenly Father is the extent to which we'll find peace no matter what hard things we face. Elder Scott says it even better:

Your peace of mind, your assurance of answers to vexing problems, your ultimate joy depend upon your trust in Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.…Remember an unfailing, continual, ever-present source of peace and comfort is available to you. It is the certainty that your Father in Heaven loves you no matter what your circumstance, no matter what winds of trial, turmoil, or tribulation whirl about you. That certainty will never change. Your ability to access that support depends on the strength of your faith in Him and in His certain willingness to bless you.

I want and need the ability to access this certainty, this peace and comfort. I need it all the time! And I love the fact that it doesn't depend on me avoiding mistakes or muscling through challenges with more willpower or being a stronger person or anything like that. It just depends on my trust and faith, on me being willing to "try" that faith over and over, and leaving the ultimate outcome in God's hands. I think I can do that! Elder Scott makes me feel like I can.

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Eclipse, sad parties, bats

We didn't plan to go anywhere for the Annular Eclipse (anywhere into the path of totality, I mean) because it seemed like all the campgrounds and everywhere would be crowded, and the Annular eclipses aren't quite as impressive as total ones anyway (I had heard). So I got out our eclipse glasses, but I wasn't expecting much. But then even the partial version we got here was amazing! We were running outside to look every few minutes because it felt so strange and exciting!

One thing I didn't realize is that the light would change so drastically. I guess I should have known, because it was definitely noticeable even an hour or more before the total eclipse we saw in Idaho, but it surprised me this time anyway. Even inside it felt cool and…watery. Why watery? I guess the only place I've noticed that filtered half-light before is underwater!

The prism-rainbows in our library were affected by it. Here they are on a normal day, little circles and stripes of spectra.

And here during the eclipse—rainbow crescents! I love them!

Our hands cast funny crescent shadows out of what should have been circles

Some people gathered on the hill, which made it feel festive

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One leafy day

We made it up the canyon once this Fall. Once! I'm sad we didn't manage to find more opportunities, but it's been that kind of year…we didn't do our wildflower hike this summer either. Ah, well. We are so blessed to have had even one morning under the beautiful yellow trees! We had to take a small break in the middle for piano lessons, and then we zipped back up for the last precious hour or two of sunlight before evening fell.

We considered leaving the younger kids home with Malachi, who had too much homework to come with us (that's too often the case these days!). But when it came down to it, no one wanted to go anywhere without Clementine and Gus the Good. So we brought them along!

Hero pose

Grinning Gus

Gorgeous Goldie

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