Building

I have these thoughts sometimes that I want to write about so I can get them sorted out in my own head. But I always feel like it takes me too many words to work through it. So I am going to try to be concise here, but bear with me.

Here are two verses of scripture (God is speaking): "And ye shall build it [the temple] on the place where you have contemplated building it, for that is the spot which I have chosen for you to build it."

and

"If ye labor with all your might, I will consecrate that spot that it shall be made holy." (Doctrine and Covenants 124:43-44)

Here is how I read what was happening in these verses:

1. Some people had an idea of where to build the temple. It seemed like a good spot to them, but they weren't sure if it was "the right spot."
2. God revealed to them that, sure enough, it WAS "the right spot." The very spot He had intended, in fact.
3. (That means they were probably getting revelation and feeling spiritual direction on the matter before they even knew it. That's why the spot felt "good" to them in the first place, why they "contemplated" it at all. But they weren't sure at first if it was merely their own feelings or if it was God's will.)
4. In spite of that coincidence of God's will and their own will (both wanted to build in the same spot!), God gave them conditions for success: "IF ye labor with all your might," THEN He would "consecrate" the spot and "make it holy"---that is, He would make that spot as good and right as they envisioned it would be.

Here is how I've seen this simple pattern carried out in my own life (obviously, there are also times when the pattern has NOT applied):

1. I think about a big decision, what "spot" to settle myself in for the next little while. I begin to develop a preference. I think, "This is what I feel like choosing." But I'm not sure if it's truly right; if it's God's will on the matter.

2. After a time, I receive some sort of confirmation that indeed, it IS God's will as well as my own. Sometimes this confirmation comes in the form of a sort of glimpse of where that path will lead. Not a vision really---more of a wish or hope, an "envisioning" of what will result from the choice. Obviously I have a vision, in that sense, of what will eventually be built on that "spot" I chose to build on; that's the reason I wanted to build there the first place. But I think this vision of "what could be" is enlarged, maybe, or focused, by revelation and the spirit.

---Now---here is the interesting thing. Once I have envisioned the eventual results of my choice, and even had them confirmed by the spirit, I might think, "I have seen the future---now I can wait for it to happen. Hooray!" But . . . . that's not right. Because in order to make this thing real, I must

3. "labor with all my might," so that God will actually REALize/"consecrate"/"make holy" that "vision" which was really just a hope or a possibility when I glimpsed it. In other words, if the beautiful results I "envisioned" (and thought were true premontions when I made the choice) are not happening yet---I just need to keep working harder, and eventually, God will "consecrate" my efforts and make that vision real.

[Of course I say "eventually." It's always "eventually," right, since we never know the timetable? :) But still a true principle, I think.]

And I'm sure there are situations where this doesn't apply---like of course there are times when our will and God's will DON'T line up, or where our "vision" of things to come is really just wrong. But I guess it just struck me that even when we ARE making the right choice, the choice God wants us to make, we're STILL not "guaranteed" anything UNLESS we work at it "with all our might." That's what makes the possibilities turn into realities. So maybe, if there's some vision we once thought we glimpsed, but it isn't becoming reality like we hoped it would, maybe the vision wasn't wrong or untrue---maybe we just still have more work to do on making it real.

Which is really not that revolutionary of a concept, I guess. But I can see it at work in my own life. When I was making the decision to marry Sam, for example, I tried hard to follow all the counsel I'd heard in Marriage Prep. classes and so forth: make sure you choose someone that is your best friend, but don't get caught up too much in emotion; follow your heart, but also make sure you follow the spirit; there is no "one and only," but "just anyone" won't do either; don't expect a bolt of lightning, but expect that God will answer because it's so important---etc. It's already hard to recognize true revelation, I think, and in such a decision you feel so much worry about getting it RIGHT---this one thing, I must get right!

So, I tried to go about it correctly. I figured out what I wanted to do, and I prayed about it and tried to listen objectively, and I wanted so badly just to KNOW the future. And I didn't get a vision, exactly---but I got something which is hard to describe, but which I'm sure is not an uncommon feeling. Kind of an "envisioning," like I said before. In some ways maybe it was merely a hope or a daydream: "Won't it be such fun---think of how cute our little home together would be---what an adventure, our kids will be so adorable" etc. But then it was more than that---it was kind of a conviction that these things could be, and a glimpse of how they might be, and an overall feeling of: YES---if you choose this---it could be something wonderful, astonishing, miraculous.

Anyway, that was enough for me at the time, and now, already, those good things I "envisioned" have been realized in many areas. But not the way I might have thought; not in a gentle, passive way like I was a spectator watching a movie of my future gradually unfold and become my reality. More like this: that reality has come as I have wrestled with it, as I have done things I didn't want to do or didn't know how to do, or as I have made mistakes and then tried to repent of them.

Just like the Lord didn't consecrate that spot of ground for the temple until the saints had "labored on it with all their mights." And when they'd built up that monument to the Lord, using their hearts and wills and possessions and time, then he was able to show it back to them and say: "See? Just as I promised you---just as you envisioned it---but now, through your labor, even holier."

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Memorial Day 2009*

(*Warning: this post probably contains too many pictures)

We had a fun time up in the canyon on Memorial Day.

Malachi was a tiny man. (See his rugged camping shirt?) (I think he looks like my brother Philip in this picture; I'm not quite sure why.)

He thought the campfire smoke was really funny, for some reason. I thought he would complain when it got in his eyes, but instead he laughed.

Ky kept himself very busy gathering up every rock in the vicinity and presenting it to me or Sam with great fanfare: "OCK!" (Not to be confused with "guck" [truck] or "kock" [clock])

He also thought he could hike uphill and downhill and anywhere he pleased (anywhere his brothers went), and he did pretty well, for the most part. He wasn't too bothered by his falls, anyway. I think he liked being able to go off on his own like a big person.

He thought this muddy hill (above) was a slide, and kept trying to inch himself down it on his bottom. (Didn't work---not quite muddy enough)

I don't have as many pictures of Abe and Seb because they were off in the woods exploring (and playing The Gunnywolf, they told me) most of the time. They loved going off on their own and climbing things and collecting things and so forth (not unlike Ky, come to think of it).

They did find time to bring me several dandelion bouquets, though. Our sweet boys. We love them.

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It's hard to hold a monkey

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Funny

• We had a jug of milk on the table that was about 3/4ths full. Sebby asked, "What is a gallon?" I pointed to the jug and said, "This much is a gallon." Then Abe interjected---"That's more like a 'gibbous gallon,' don't you think?"


• Sebby words: "iceburgers" for "icebergs" and "hand appetizer" for "hand sanitizer" (both food-related . . . hmmm . . . coincidence?)


• Malachi was saying, "kock! kock!" for "clock." Sebby told me, "Mommy, he says it just the right way, except he forgets to say the 'w'!"

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Thinnings*

*with great self-control, I resisted the urge to call this post all the things that first came to mind, like "dining on thinings" or "dinning on thinnings" or "in the thick of the thinnings"---feeling it would be unseemly after my comments here

I thinned my lettuce garden yesterday, leaving me with what are apparantly called the "thinnings" (as a novice gardener, I learn a lot from the internet) but what look like the cutest, tinest, greenest little baby salad you've ever seen. (The picture doesn't show how tiny and cute they were. Some of you real photographers could do them justice.) They were SO tender and good---spinach and arugula and other spring greens, and I tossed in some oregano and some lemon thyme from the herb garden too.

We ate them with parmesan cheese and lemon juice and olive oil on top---very simple and summery.

And also with these:

Scrambled eggs with chive blossoms, which delighted the boys. I read somewhere that you could eat the chive blossoms, so ever since my chives flowered we've been looking for an opportunity to do so. They taste like chives. (Surprise!) Maybe a little stronger. They're good.

And smoothies: (strawberries and raspberries have been on sale, so we're having these nightly now: no recipe, just plain yogurt and frozen fruit and honey, blended up. Yum)

And these, which are just rolls made from the artisan bread we love so much (okay, there is a recipe for that, from Beth, here it is):

I think it's my favorite kind of dinner. No recipes, everything ready in 20 minutes (well---because I keep the bread dough on hand in the fridge all the time, so it was no trouble), but tasting like a fancy restaurant. And tasting like Spring-almost-Summer. (Sprummer? Sumpring? No; heavens no! Please forgive me for making that attempt.)

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He thinks he is a person.

But he's too little to be a person! Isn't he?

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Win-win-win

One of Sebby's jobs is to transfer the diapers from the washer to the dryer, and start the dryer going. He LOVES the washer and dryer (especially the dryer vent---it opens when the dryer goes on), he loves the smell of laundry, he loves warm clothes, and he loves sorting colors and handing me the clothespins and gathering up hangers to put on the clothesline. So he's a good little helper.

The thing is that Malachi really, really wants to be a good little helper too, and Sebby is not always pleased to have Ky's help (especially when it consists of undoing what Sebby has just done). But lately Seb seems to have decided that a supervisory role is just as fun as an active one, and here he is happily instructing Ky on the finer points of diaper-drying.

Seb is very careful to make sure Ky does everything right.

And when they're done, Seb shows off the dryer working to Ky as proudly as if he were personally responsible. And Ky is just as delighted as if he'd never seen it before. And everyone is happy. (Including me, having just been saved bending over to do this myself!)

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Backyard flowers

Our backyard is just about done, and it's looking really nice. Everything is still kind of new and puny-looking, of course, but it improves upon closer look:

Herb garden---everything is still pretty small, but growing. My lettuce garden is in another raised bed like this. Tomatoes, zucchini, squash, onions, and peppers are in our plot at the community garden down the street.

And I'm excited to see how everything looks next year as the plants start spreading and getting bigger.

Lilies of the valley---coming along. We hope they'll spread over this whole area eventually, as my mom's have at her house.

These are from Mom's yard. SO pretty.

And lastly, these. Not from the yard (although I do have a yellow rosebush), but so beautiful!

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