Taking Holy Orders

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Relief Society Session of the October 2000 Conference.

Sister Sheri Dew's talks are so good. They speak to me just as powerfully now as they did twenty years ago, when my life and responsibilities were so different. I remember this talk clearly: Stand Tall and Stand Together. She talks about being a tall teenager who slouched to hide her height, and how her mother constantly told her to "stand up straight." Then she relates that to our need to be willing to stand up and stand out for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I've read several articles or talks by Anthony Sweat that have introduced me to the idea that the covenants we make in the temple initiate us into a "holy order." I love this idea and have been thinking a lot about it. I've read that phrase in books—"He took holy orders"—and have always found it appealing. I can imagine a man stepping into a new life as he puts on his new priestly robes, takes on an appropriately priestly demeanor, and instantly gains gravity and trustworthiness in the eyes of others. I can imagine this new priest perhaps feeling a little strange as people suddenly see him differently—perhaps everyone wants his advice now, or assumes he is somehow apart from the temptations regular people struggle with. He knows that he is still only a man, but for the sake of his Holy Orders, perhaps he acts a little more kind and measured than he did before, assumes a more careful tone when he speaks. Perhaps he decides that since people look to him as a leader, he ought to act a little more like a leader. And as he acts that part, he grows into it.

Or I think of Sam when he first started teaching at BYU. It seemed so strange to both of us that he was teaching these classes he'd so recently been a student in. "I suppose you ought to have some…professor clothes?" I said to him, a few weeks before he started the job. "Professors don't just wear shorts and t-shirts, do they?" It seemed they didn't, so he bought some different clothes—button-up shirts, nicer pants, nicer shoes. At first it felt a little funny seeing him dressed like that every day, almost like he was in a costume. But now those clothes just seem right and natural on him. He grew into the office he'd been given.

Sheri Dew's talk gave me the same feeling. It doesn't much matter if I feel inadequate to these "holy orders" I've taken on. As an endowed member of the Church of Jesus Christ, I carry His authority and have access to His power, and this is no time for shrinking or slouching back into obscurity. Sister Dew says,

 As a teenager I did not realize that blending in with the crowd would never be my lot. Nor is it yours. For as women of God we must stand tall so that we will stand out from the rest of the world. Only in doing so may we hope to find joy. For finding joy and standing tall, not in feet or inches but as ambassadors for the Lord, are directly connected.…

The most effective way to share the gospel is to live it. When we live like disciples of Christ should live, when we aren’t just good but happy to be good, others will be drawn to us because we are “distinct and different—in happy ways,” as President Kimball prophesied. Happy about the way we’ve chosen to live, happy because we’re not constantly reshaping ourselves in the world’s image, happy because we have “the gift and the power of the Holy Ghost,” happy to stand tall so that we will stand out.

I don't particularly like standing out. And by the world's standards, I certainly don't. I'm a mother of far too many kids; I'm not young, not impressive, not up on the current trends, certainly not part of any prominent happenings or conversations. I feel silly seeing myself as some sort of leader or influencer when I'm just…me. But what else should someone who has taken Holy Orders be? As Sister Dew says,

For though some would portray us as dowdy and dominated rather than the dynamic, radiant women we are, no woman is more persuasive, no woman has greater influence for good, no woman is a more vibrant instrument in the hands of the Lord than a woman of God who is thrilled to be who she is.…

My prayer tonight is that we can be…clear about our mission as women of God. This isn’t just a really nice church that teaches really nice ideas so that we can live really nice lives. This is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, endowed with His power and charged with carrying His truth to the ends of the earth.

That's what I want. To be a "vibrant instrument" in God's hands; to be a happy disciple of Jesus Christ who stands tall in His Holy Orders, and who is constantly growing into the woman He wants me to be!

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Easter!

Hooray for Easter, my favorite holiday! This Easter seemed particularly joyful because, after the longest winter ever, it finally felt like Spring. It was warm and sunny and beautiful. With General Conference the weekend before, and then a week of cleaning and preparation during Holy Week, Easter served as the culmination. Hallelujah; Christ is risen!

Here is Jesus preaching to the bunnies during Holy Week. Look how they love Him! He's going to heal that bunny with the broken ear, I think!

We did something new this year. A couple weeks before Easter, we had a Family Home Evening where we chose names of Christ to draw or write. It was so much fun! We all enjoyed it so much that we made multiple names and kept making them for the next few days! (Well…all of us except Malachi and Seb…but at least they did one each, ha ha). We hung all of our names up on the wall and they reminded us of Jesus and our love for Him all week long. So far, we can't bear to take them down!

The morning after we got our names of Christ hung on the wall, I discovered another one had been carefully written and added by Ziggy. I love it so much!!!

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How kind, how powerful, and how close

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 2000 Conference.

There were a few different threads that connected for me through this Conference session. Elder Busche said this:

Freedom for most people of the world means “freedom from” the absence of malice or pain or suppression. But the freedom that God means when He deals with us goes one step further. He means “freedom to”—the freedom to act in the dignity of our own choice.

Then, as I was thinking about choice and the power of choices, I read this from Elder Eyring:

I have had prayers answered. Those answers were most clear when what I wanted was silenced by an overpowering need to know what God wanted. It is then that the answer from a loving Heavenly Father can be spoken to the mind by the still, small voice and can be written on the heart.

The concepts lead to each other—God allowing us to choose and giving us freedom to act—and then giving us loving guidance about what to choose and how to act. On the surface it seems like, "Is that real choice if He's going to turn around and tell us what we're supposed to choose?" But in reality it is so good! And so merciful! Among all the many choices before us, and their confusing tumble of consequences, and the lies that Satan tells—Heavenly Father can speak with clarity and show us which will bring real happiness, real power. And on top of that, we can then use that power (which came from choosing what He would have us choose) to actually draw those we love toward God and happiness as well. Isn't that the power every parent longs for?

Of course Elder Eyring brings it right home (like he always does):

Some parents are listening with this question: “But how can I soften the heart of my child now grown older and convinced he or she doesn’t need God? How can I soften a heart enough to allow God to write His will upon it?” …

At first I thought he wasn't going to answer, because he starts to talk about how feeling the weight of our own sins leads us to need God—and obviously that's something only the person himself can do, not something a parent can do to help. But then he gets to this:

Alma knew what we can know: that testifying of Jesus Christ and Him crucified had the greatest possibility of his son coming to sense his need for the help only God could give.

I love that. He also gave this advice: 

I can’t remember a sermon from my mother or my father about prayer. They prayed when times were hard and when they were good. And they reported in matter-of-fact ways how kind God was, how powerful and how close.

Those aren't hard things—testifying frequently of Jesus Christ, and reporting on Heavenly Father's goodness. So it's encouraging to think that those small actions can bring the power of God into our lives and the lives of our children.

Other posts in this series:

Comforting Voices—by Rozy

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As a warm, spiritual cloak

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 2000 Conference.

I loved President Faust's talk where he shares experiences that led to his growing testimony. Because I serve in Primary right now, I've been noticing when people share their first experiences with the Spirit, how often they turn out to have happened in Primary—during their Primary years, usually, but even sometimes during Primary itself, while singing a song or listening to a teacher. It makes me see my callings (as a mother and as a Primary leader) differently, and with more weight. I think I'm realizing as never before how important those first years are for children as they build their conceptions of who God is and how they feel about Him. When I first had children, it felt like those early years would last forever, and I felt no particular urgency about utilizing every moment. Now (for good or ill) I feel almost panicked about the importance of teaching the gospel early, while the children will listen, knowing how little time I have.

President Faust described some of his sweet early experiences, and I just pray that my children have had some of these too:

The first cornerstone of my testimony was laid a long time ago. One of my early recollections was having a frightening nightmare as a small child. I still remember it vividly. I must have screamed in fright during the night. My grandmother woke me up. I was crying, and she took me in her arms, hugged me, and comforted me. She got a bowl of some of my favorite rice pudding that was left over from dinner, and I sat on her lap as she spoon-fed me. She told me that we were safe in our house because Jesus was watching over us. I felt it was true then, and I still believe it now. I was comforted in both body and soul and went peacefully back to bed, assured of the divine reality that Jesus does watch over us.

That first memorable experience led to other strong confirmations that God lives and that Jesus is our Lord and Savior. Many of these came in response to earnest prayer. As a child, when I lost things such as my precious pocketknife, I learned that if I prayed hard enough, I could usually find it. I was always able to find the lost cows I was entrusted with. Sometimes I had to pray more than once, but my prayers always seemed to be answered. Sometimes the answer was no, but most often it was positive and confirming. Even when it was no, I came to know that, in the Lord’s great wisdom, the answer I received was for my best good. My faith continued to grow as building blocks were added to the cornerstone, line upon line and precept upon precept. There are far too many of these to be chronicled individually; some are too sacred to utter.

It's so interesting that as a parent, you don't KNOW if or when these things are happening in your children's hearts! You just have to hope! 

And then I loved these words:

At times I have stumbled and been less than I should have been. All of us experience those wrenching, defining, difficult decisions that move us to a higher level of spirituality. They are the Gethsemanes of our lives that bring with them great pain and anguish. Sometimes they are too sacred to be shared publicly. They are the watershed experiences that help purge us of our unrighteous desires for the things of the world. As the scales of worldliness are taken from our eyes, we see more clearly who we are and what our responsibilities are concerning our divine destiny.

I humbly acknowledge that these many experiences have nurtured a sure knowledge that Jesus is our Savior and Redeemer. I have heard His voice and felt His influence and presence. They have been as a warm, spiritual cloak.

This is what I was trying to describe in this recent post—the "warm, spiritual cloak" that comes when you feel God's love and comfort in the midst of difficulty and even your own failures. I'm sure President Faust, at the time of this talk, had come through many more of these experiences than I yet have. But I still feel I am starting to understand what he knew—that the Savior has a personal interest in me and in my struggles, and that Heavenly Father is giving us, step by step, the experiences we need most.

Other posts in this series:

Lead Kindly Light—by Rozy

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Joke-the-day

Sometime, in the mists of the past, one of our boys did a thing where he would get up on our little art table and yell "Joke of the Day!" and then tell a joke. (Some of the kids think it started with Seb? But he claims it was Abe.) We only know this secondhand, since it was a silly thing they would do on our date nights while we were gone. Anyway, in that strange alchemic transmission between siblings, this private joke has carried on all the way down to Clementine, and she sometimes stands up in her high chair and yells "Doke-da-day!" in a triumphant voice. Sam and I are constantly astounded at how much our children are influenced by things and people that…aren't us. Astounded and a bit terrified. Heaven help us all!

Here is a sampling of some of the other baffling and funny things that happened in these parts recently:

• There was a marriage proposal on the hill by our house! I was sitting with Sam in his office and saw these people milling around, spreading out blankets and setting up vases and scattering rose petals hither and yon. "Someone's going to propose," I said, and proceeded to stop what I was doing and watch them for the next 30 minutes. After a while the helpers skedaddled and then I waited with great anticipation for the happy couple.

Pretty soon we saw a photographer skulking around the side of the hill, and we knew they must be getting close, because after all what's a proposal these days without a dedicated photographer and videographer and maybe a few drones getting shots from above?

It was pretty cute. The boy took the girl's hand. She covered her mouth in shock. You could tell exactly what was going on without hearing a thing.

Awww! He asked her! And she said yes! So sweet. This isn't the first marriage proposal on this hill, by the way, and I'm sure it won't be the last. It's a great spot! Unless you don't want people watching you from their windows. Hee hee. I ought to encourage all my daughters' boyfriends to propose there! 

• The boys playing church again. Here they are being the bishopric. They gave some pretty good talks!

• Gus and Zig love helping put away the chairs after church, now that we're the last ward in the building. It is the cutest. My favorite part is how all the men and older boys help them and humor them and let them bumble around getting in the way. Good men—how I love them!! And the church that helps form them!!

Another day of putting chairs away. Wearing an "ear" hat from Sunbeams, this time. ("He who has ears to hear, let him hear!")

• Speaking of church, we had Stake Conference recently, and it would have been a great meeting, but they had the closed captioning on, and it just…was a bit distracting. It is rather hard to catch the spirit of a talk when you are reading words like this beneath it. The choir songs were particularly bad! Sam and I were gasping with held-in laughter, trying to maintain reverence for the sake of the children! 

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Cocooned

A hard, cruel month, February. The cruelest? Yes; I think, with all due deference to T.S. Eliot, that it might be. At least…this February was. Hard and dark and full of…well, I can't even describe it all. And I won't, in this place. But you know the miracle? (There's always a miracle. I'm learning that, slowly.) The miracle is that in the coldest, darkest parts of it, I felt…cocooned. Wrapped in love and protection and stillness. I even took the picture above (sitting in my chair, literally wrapped in my yellow blanket) to help me remember what it felt like—to help me remember that the tender mercies of God really are over all those who love him. He is so good!

In February we had the biggest snowstorm I can remember. It started late one night as I went outside to wave goodbye to Seb and Malachi, who were going off to a movie together. I've never seen snow build up so quickly! I was worried about the boys, but luckily the roads weren't too bad until after they got home.

When I looked out at the back deck before bed I was amazed how much snow had already accumulated!

Sam shoveled a path inside for the boys.

The next morning, the snow had piled up even higher and drifted into huge mounds! Even our front porch was covered with it!

And the back porch was all rounded up with snow-muffins and marshmallows and buns. Even the string lights were strung with fwuffballs instead of bulbs!

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We Participate in Miracles

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week we jump back to the present to write about the April 2023 Conference that just took place!

Some random and not very well-developed impressions from April Conference:

• I think the speakers always do a good job of bringing in Jesus Christ, no matter what their subjects are. But this conference seemed particularly Christ-focused to me. I felt there was a more-than-usual emphasis on thinking of Him, teaching of Him, coming to know Him, accessing the power of His atonement, and other such fundamentals. I loved it.

• I missed Elder Holland.

• When President Nelson didn't speak at all on Saturday, I wondered if he was wasn't feeling well. But then he gave his talk on Sunday with such energy and intensity! He seems so full of life. He's amazing! His talk was amazing. I know I'll find myself studying it over and over as I attempt to absorb these lessons of kindness, charity, and peacemaking. "True disciples build, lift, encourage, persuade, and inspire." I want that to describe me! 

And this: "In highly-charged situations filled with anger—remember Jesus Christ.…He will magnify your efforts beyond your loftiest imagination!"

• Sister Cardon's talk on Saturday morning was one of my favorites. (Why is the Saturday Morning session always so good? Maybe it's just because I haven't had time to get sleepy yet. :) But it seems like it often has three or four of my favorite talks in it!) I liked what I thought it was going to be about ("Never give up an opportunity to testify of Christ"—i.e. share your testimony) but then was surprised when she turned the topic more to finding opportunities to gain a daily personal witness, or have a personal encounter, with Him. I love the idea of seeking Jesus everywhere and every day. And I loved the way Sister Cardon described all the usual things we do (prayer, scripture study, the sacrament, etc.) as sacred opportunities to have that encounter and see His miracles. All the time she was talking, I just felt so happy and so grateful to be sitting for two days and listening to these wonderful people teaching me more about Jesus. What a beautiful tradition.

• Another favorite talk—Elder Carl B. Cook's about "just keep going with faith." That's such a necessary message for me right now! I was stricken to the core by his example about being asked by President Packer to speak three times in one meeting (even though it had a "happy ending" and he was glad he perservered…it just fills me with terror to think about! Goodness! Even though I love the man, I am so glad I never met Elder Packer in person!) but I liked the principle behind it, i.e. that it's those very challenging, stretching, scary experiences which give us the opportunity to see the miracle of Christ's enabling power in our lives. It's a lot like Sister Cardon's talk, in fact—the idea that following the gospel—wherever it takes us!—gives us marvelous opportunities to come to know Jesus Christ personally.

(I just hope when I meet Jesus personally that he doesn't ask me to speak three times in Stake Conference…)

• While we're talking about funny stories, Elder Allan D. Haynie's talk was awesome too. Of course I loved the water bottle story. And the talk as a whole made me think of Elder Holland's prophetic warning (way back in 2003!) where he said:

Parents simply cannot flirt with skepticism or cynicism, then be surprised when their children expand that flirtation into full-blown romance. If in matters of faith and belief children are at risk of being swept downstream by this intellectual current or that cultural rapid, we as their parents must be more certain than ever to hold to anchored, unmistakable moorings clearly recognizable to those of our own household.…

We can be reasonably active, meeting-going Latter-day Saints, but if we do not live lives of gospel integrity and convey to our children powerful heartfelt convictions regarding the truthfulness of the Restoration and the divine guidance of the Church from the First Vision to this very hour, then those children may, to our regret but not surprise, turn out not to be visibly active, meeting-going Latter-day Saints or sometimes anything close to it.

I've been so worried about that happening ever since! I would be so horrified if my children didn't see and know my convictions and my faith! In my notes on Elder Haynie's talk, I wrote that he said (something like) (my notes are never very reliable in the particulars):

We who are adults now have an even weightier responsibility to follow the living prophet, not just for ourselves but for our children. I must never ease up on fundamentals and never give any indication that prophetic counsel can be discarded, or I will be a source of confusion in the lives of the rising generation. If I haven't done it as well as I could have up till now—repent!

• I need to re-read Elder Juan D. Uceda's talk. I missed part of his story about the man who came back to church activity, but it seemed like it was such a good one! Mostly I just thought Elder Uceda's delivery was so arresting and heartfelt, you could feel his goodness and sincerity. Makes me want to give weight to anything he says!

• I drew some good puffer fish during this conference, I must say. (I like to draw puffer fish when I'm…uh…listening intently but also trying to stay awake.) My pens (these, if you must know; they have a lovely bold stroke) were particularly suited for puffer fish, I think.

• Another great Seventy talk—Elder Vern P. Stanfill! The imperfect harvest becoming perfect with Christ's help! Such a great concept and something I need constant reassurance on. 

"Our clumsy efforts can lead to miracles and in the process we can participate in what ends up being a perfect harvest. The Savior will use us to accomplish his work and be part of miracles." 

And his great summary of what Christ might have said to Peter after "Wherefore didst thou doubt"—

"Oh Peter, if you could see yourself as I see you, you would not fear. I love you. You got out of the boat!"

Also, Elder Stanfill had a great tie. It looked like it was a couch from the 1970's…but brought back with fashionable quirkiness.

• And another: Elder W. Mark Bassett of the Seventy. Wow, strong work from the Quorum of the Seventy this Conference! I loved his reminder of the "4th Day" Jesus (reminds me of Michael Wilcox's "4th Watch God," a very similar concept)—the Jesus that comes and saves and heals us even when every other indication makes it seem like it's too late. I also loved the concept of us doing whatever we can do to participate in the miracles—rolling away the stone, coming forth/rising from despair, loosing ourselves or others from the things that bind them. Such a beautiful idea that Christ both gives us what we cannot do, and helps us rise to what we CAN do, as he performs miracles in our lives.

• On that note, and from Sister Camille Johnson's talk, I never knew that "relief" comes from the French relever—"to raise." That's a ballet word, so I can imagine the movement that goes with it, but knowing that relief is raising ourselves and others (out of sadness and want and misery—to life and light and goodness) gives me a whole new vision of the Relief Society. I love that idea so much. I love the reminder to emulate, in our treatment of others, the way Christ raises us, and I love the image of lifting and rising up that goes with that beautiful French word. I'm going to think of us as the "Relever Society" from now on!

• So many good things and I haven't even gotten to any of the Twelve Apostles yet! There were so many good ones, I can't write about them all. I loved Elder Eyring's talk on personal peace. He's so optimistic—or maybe I should say faith-filled. And I love it when he talks about the "inborn desire to love and be loved" given to every child. That's a common theme of his, the "longing for home" deep inside each child of God, and I've become convinced over the years that that longing was instilled in us by our Heavenly Mother. I'm fascinated with the idea of nurturing that longing for home (meaning our heavenly home as well, of course!) in my children.

• Dear Elder Uchtdorf. Bless him for saying that "Jesus Christ is the strength of parents." And bless him for saying that you can't tug on the stem of a flower or force open its bud to make it grow. Such a good analogy! His best line:

"Let God work his miracles. Don't give up because of what you've done wrong in the past. Have hope in Christ and in the future!"

• I missed much of Elder Bednar's talk and was very sad about it. Looking forward to reading it as soon as I can.

• Congratulations to Elder Neil L. Andersen as the dark horse winner of "Favorite talk by one of the Twelve" (a very competitive race!). His talk was full of mind-expanding truths. Who had ever thought to examine that phrase "caught hold upon" in Alma's conversion story? Not me. But I have had my soul cry out, "Oh Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy upon me!" more than once in the past few months, and I love the idea of finding a way to "shape, strengthen, and secure that thought" to make it more powerful in my life. I love the idea that choosing to trust and "lay hold" of Jesus Christ is a physical, tangible action we can take which will lead to physical, tangible blessings in our lives.

• Elder Gong! I loved his ministering stories! "Faithful consistency brings miracles."

• Coming to the end here, I'm realizing there really was a definite theme (see for yourself! I'll put all the related words in green!) running through Conference, at least for me: the idea that Christ will do personal miracles in our lives and we can participate. As we lift (raise! relieve!) others, Christ will do the same for us. What a beautiful Easter message!

Other posts in this series:

Three themes I heard in General Conference—by Rozy

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