25 things about . . . my husband

I have greatly enjoyed reading the lists of "25 things" people have been coming up with about themselves on Facebook. (Facebook! Who would have thought.) It's so interesting to see what people choose to bring out about themselves . . . definitely some things you would have never found out in casual conversation!

Anyway, I thought this would be a fun exercise to do on behalf of someone else I know well: namely, Sam. I have endeavored to reveal only things that are fit for public consumption (nothing too embarrassing---I hope). I just like him so much. Sometimes I wish I were a more gushy, sappy person (ala Stephanie Nielson---that sounds like criticism, but it isn't, I think it's sweet) so I could actually make it obvious to the whole world how much I adore him, but although I'm feeling sappy inside, I just tend to be more matter-of-fact about it. So the list form works for me. And I already know I'm going to get too long-winded, so feel free to make a graceful exit now. Otherwise, gird up your loins and let's begin.


25 things you might not know about Sam

1. He doesn't have much of a temper---he's pretty easygoing---but as a teenager he once punched a hole in the wall and broke his hand. He explains this to me by saying, "It's really not as hard to punch a hole in the wall as you'd think."

2. As a kid, he watched Star Wars every day for about 2 years. He doesn't appear to be a "Star Wars" nerd (what is the name for that? not a "Trekkie"--) now, but every once in a while he'll surprise you by coming out with some obscure bit of knowledge about the Star Wars universe ("It's stupid that they did ___ in episode 5 because so-and-so was always intended to be ___ kind of character; that why George Lucas set ___ up in the first place." [Sorry that example is so vague as to be nearly useless, but I'm too ignorant to do any better.]) which reveals just how much, how alarmingly much, he really knows.

3. He has a great singing voice, but it only gets displayed in its full glory when he's singing either a.) real opera arias with made-up words or b.) Disney songs. Otherwise he tones himself down.

4. He's a good sport about doing things he doesn't really like, e.g. wearing a beard to be "the old year" on New Year's so my mom can take a picture, dressing up for nativity scenes, lip synching for talent shows, doing "discounted" drawings for extended family members' various projects/flyers, etc.

5. He uses his fingernail clippers (the ones on his keychain) for everything. They're like his Swiss Army Knife. And he always seems kind of mad or surprised when they aren't adequate for some task or other. If his clippers don't work, he will try the edge of a key. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES will he get out the scissors. And for cooking, he favors the exclusive use of a particular spatula, which he presses into duty for any conceiveable kitchen task.

6. He loves movies like the BBC version of "Pride and Prejudice" and long adaptations of Dickens ("Our Mutual Friend," "Bleak House," etc.). Watching movies like that is one of our favorite things to do together, and then we talk about them endlessly afterward, very nerdily ("What do you think Dickens was trying to get at with the murder of Rogue Riderhood? Was it meant to be ironic, or arouse our pity?"). (Of course, he also made me watch "Transformers" with him. . .)

7. He doesn't get a chance to read very much, but when he does he gets really into the book he's reading: I mean really into it, like taking notes, writing up outlines, describing at length how he could incorporate its ideas into other philosophies he's read about, bringing it into 70% of our conversations, etc. (If I had a dollar for every time he's said, "It's like in that Robert McKee book I read on 'Story' . . . " I'd be a rich woman.) He wants to someday write a book (about Art and Design Principles) himself, and so everything must be examined in light of his ever-expanding Grand Unified Theory.

8. He says he doesn't like the shower as hot as I do, but sometimes I get the feeling that he's just making a token protest, and that he actually is enjoying it, deep down.

9. He's really good at telling stories. On Sunday nights we cuddle in our bed with the kids and sing songs and tell stories (one of us starts a story and then the other one finishes it), and he always comes up with something really awesome, even when I give him a really uninspiring start.

10. He makes fun of the way I say "egg." I say it "Aygg" with a long A, and he says it "ehgg."

11. He had whooping cough a year ago and he's still not really over it. He was really, really sick for a long time---like, coughing up blood, almost passing out because his throat would close up, having panic attacks because he couldn't breathe, etc. He didn't sleep more than 2 or 3 hours at a time for about a 5-month span because he would wake up with coughing fits. He is much better now, but he still gets a really bad cough anytime the air is bad or he has a cold (which has been all winter, naturally). The actual disease is gone after the first 2 weeks, so he wasn't contagious or anything, but I guess all the scarring in your throat and lungs can cause problems for a long time beyond. But I don't think most people ever had any idea how sick he was. (Although if you've been around him, you've probably heard the cough.) He still went to work and survived on no sleep for all those months, and didn't really complain, but he was just SICK, and he still is sometimes. It is really sad. And he just keeps being really brave and good about it all. (Moral: get your tetanus boosters every 10 years! The whooping cough vaccine is in there too.)

12. He holds his breath when he's concentrating or thinking hard. He doesn't really know he's doing it until I say, "Breathe, dear!" and then he lets it out sheepishly all at once. He also has this one spot that he gets nervous about---right at the base of the center of his ribcage, what's that bone called? oh yeah, sternum. Anyway he feels like that's his vulnerable spot because someone could poke it and crush his lungs. (??) I don't know why I feel like those two things are related---maybe because he holds his breath if anyone gets too close to his sternum too. (I hope he's not mad that I revealed his weak spot to potential enemies. None of you are potential enemies, right? Don't let it get out.)

13. He often falls asleep while I'm talking to him at night, but he never admits it. He keeps grunting out "uh-huh" or "yeah, I'm awake" in his sleep until he finally stops responding at all.

14. He has really long arms, like a monkey. His "wingspan" is several inches longer than his height.

15. He'll throw himself enthusiastically into anything he decides to do, with no embarrassment. For example, we've been doing this thing for the last year where we go through the alphabet and do an activity starting with a different letter each weekend (we take turns thinking of what to do). I think a lot of husbands wouldn't get into it, but he's had us hunting all over Salt Lake Valley on an Arthurian Quest, giving oral reports on assigned topics, going to the ballet, having cooking contests, writing bad poems, holding a Mad Tea Party, having a progressive dinner at different restaurants, etc. He is creative and gets excited about his ideas---which makes everyone else get excited too! I think this is why he's so successful as a Concept Artist at work. He comes up with great visions of where a project can go, and then has the skill to project that vision outward so that everyone else can see it too.

16. He loves geology. Whenever we drive anywhere, he keeps a keen eye on the rocks and mountains and comments on them excitedly ("Did you see that? That is such a great example of a lateral glacial moraine!"). On our drive to Arizona he was in heaven; pointing out cinder cones and lava fields and explaining to the boys how the rock formations had stratified into distinct layers seen in formations across two states. He kept peering out the window saying things like "There MUST have been some catastrophic eruption to form that kind of crater pattern!!", and then when we arrived he would NOT REST until he'd looked up our route on Google Earth and confirmed his theories via Roadside Geology of Arizona.

17. Once he fell asleep on the bus and, without knowing it, leaned over to rest on the shoulder of the guy next to him. He woke up to feel the guy shrugging him none-too-gently off (with an expression of grim distaste on his face).

18. He's not a very good card-shuffler. But he's in denial about it (he always thinks it's the condition of the cards, or the table is too slick, or his hands are too slippery, etc.). Lots of times the cards end up shooting out of his hands and all over the floor (much to his chagrin).

19. He gets some kind of weird dry skin on his fingertips, so he puts lotion on his fingers all the time. Like every half-hour throughout the day. And he rubs it in with these kind of weak, namby-pamby circular motions so it just gets on his fingertips instead of his whole hands. There are tiny jars of lotion all over the place: in the silverware drawer, in the bathroom, in his backpack, in the car. He also wears yellow rubber gloves when he's doing something like washing the dishes or changing a diaper.

20. Speaking of changing diapers, he can change a cloth diaper, complete with safety pins, on a baby faster than most people can do a disposable one. (Not quite as fast as me, but nearly.)

21. He's really strong and he works out at the weight room most days, but he's not always yammering on about "lifting" (he calls it "exercising" or the more acceptable "lifting weights"; thank heavens) or "glutes" or "lats" or "reps" or whatever. In other words, he has the perfect combination of work ethic, non-obsessiveness, health-consiousness, and humility.

22. He really likes my cooking, and (even better), says so. Honestly not a day goes by where he doesn't compliment the food and thank me for it. It's rubbed off on our boys, and you wouldn't believe it, but it's true: they say "Thank you for making this nice dinner for us, Mommy!" nearly every night. I know. Amazing. I'm so lucky.

23. He can come up with comebacks to my brothers when I can't. All my life I've been cursed with clever brothers who say clever and funny things (about/directed at me---how disappointed my mom was when she had a girl instead of another boy---etc.), and all I can do is laugh and say lame things like, "nuh-uh!" or, "YOU're the one she said that about!" But Sam is always coming up with these great responses. Like he's the one who told them (my last name was Nelson before---now I'm a Nielson---and my brothers were saying how I'd defiled the true Nelson name etc etc.) that, like President Hinckley, we Nielsons say to the Nelsons: bring all the good that you have and let us add to it. Perfect!

24. He's the type of person who, when he comes home and the kids are crying and his wife is still not dressed and there's no dinner made, says, "Oh good, you haven't started dinner, because I was hoping you'd let me cook something for YOU tonight!" Really. And then he does it.

25. He's really, really funny. And I love it when sometimes he'll come home from work and confess to me, "I was so pleased with myself when I said ____ to you yesterday and made you laugh, that I said it today to my friends at work, and pretended I was just thinking of it for the first time." He can make me laugh all the time, even when I don't feel like laughing. And when I DO feel like laughing, he can make me laugh until my mouth hurts and my cheeks hurt and my stomach hurts and I can't even stand up anymore. I love it.

And now you know. And Happy Birthday, my love; you're the best thing that ever happened to me!