Dad's Valentine



As long as I can remember, my Dad always left a little handwritten Valentine and a treat (usually some candy from the bulk bins at the bookstore---mint truffles, those sour balls, or the pink and green and yellow mints) by our plates at breakfast. (He always made our breakfast.) And before that, on Feb 12th, there was also some little note and present (a pretty rock, a hard-carved wood ring, etc.) at my Mom's place to mark the anniversary of their engagement. Dad never really seemed to get over feeling just amazed and overwhelmed that Mom had married him. He said so often. And now I always connect those two events, Valentine's Day and my parents' engagement, in my mind.

It was a sad Valentine's Day for us this year because we are missing our good Dad, who died Friday. Until just before he died, he had a ventilator tube in his throat and couldn't talk. But in spite of that, I did get to witness some of the sweetest exchanges of love I've seen. Here was my favorite:

Mom: (in Dad's ear) "Mark, do you remember that today is the anniversary of the day you asked me to marry you?"

Dad: [nod]

Mom: "Forty years ago today you asked me to marry you, and forty years ago tomorrow, I said yes!"

Dad: [nod]

Mom: "Thank you for asking me. I love you so much! Do you remember?"

Dad: [nod-nod-nod-nod-nod] [squeezes hand]

[*By the way, his funeral will be Friday at 1 p.m., at the church by my mom's house, if you are interested in coming.]

10 comments

  1. Marilyn, I am so very sorry about your dad! I have such fond memories of him -- he was so soft-spoken and kind, brilliant yet humble. Thanks for sharing such a sweet story! I wish I could make the funeral!!! I'll be thinking of your family.

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  2. This was such a beautiful tribute, Marilyn. That picture of your reading with your Dad looks so much like your boys.

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  3. I miss your dad. A gentleman among men, he was. But I console myself by imagining him helping Schrödinger ascertain the whereabouts of his cat.

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  4. Bless your heart, baby. I had no idea this was going on. Your piece was lovely, and I am thankfully moved by the love in it.

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  5. Marilyn, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. What a wonderful thing that your dad asked, and your mom said yes. They built such a marvelous life together. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  6. Marilyn,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad but what a sweet post. Let me know if I can help you in anyway on friday, I'd be glad to.

    Jen

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  7. Hi Marilyn,
    I'm so sorry about your dad. Kirk just told me he passed away and I rushed over to your blog. Thanks for sharing that sweet exchange of love. I will be thinking of you and your family this week.

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  8. Marilyn,
    Although we won't be able to make it to the funeral, I want you to know that our hearts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. I'm so sorry. Words seem so inadequate when it comes to losing a parent.
    Katy and Sandin

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  9. You still bite your thumb when you're looking at stuff, sometimes, just like in the picture. Bless your mom's heart. When I saw her at the temple yesterday, I thought she looked more beautiful than I ever remember her looking.
    I keep crying about your dad, mostly thinking about your loss and your mom's/family's loss. But you all looked so great yesterday, so I guess mine and everyone else's prayers are doing something good!
    Thanks for being my friend, and for sharing the greatness of your dad with everyone.

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  10. how sweet and special. I wish I could come on friday. Aren't we lucky to have the gospel in our lives to comfort us and get us through?

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