Never inconsequential to the Lord

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Relief Society Session of the October 2011 Conference. 

I love Sister Julie B. Beck! I didn't realize how much of a favorite she was for me until re-reading these conferences. She always has such good things to say! I loved this insight about women in the early restored church:

The great growth of the early Church was made possible because faithful men were willing to leave their families to travel to unknown places and suffer privations and hardship to teach the gospel. However, these men understood that their missions would not have been possible without the full faith and partnership of the women in their lives, who sustained homes and businesses and earned income for their families and the missionaries. The sisters also cared for the thousands of converts who gathered in their communities. They were deeply committed to a new way of life, helping build the Lord’s kingdom and participating in His work of salvation.

Of course I've thought a lot about the sacrifices women made as they let their husbands go off on missions and shouldered the burdens of their families at home. But I hadn't thought about the fact that they had to be there at home so there would be a place to welcome in the ones being gathered. It made me ask for the first time "Gathering…to what?" Obviously there has to be a place to gather scattered Israel to. I guess it's technically "the church" or "God's kingdom," but what kind of a place IS that? Is it a place that feels like home? Is it a place people would want to be gathered into? A place they'd like to stay? If it isn't, what's the point of gathering in the first place? (I guess being gathered to God is the real point. And HE always feels like home. Still, I think as a church we could either reflect or obscure what God Himself feels like, depending on how we treat each other.) Anyway, I like the thought that some people have to go out and find and gather Israel…and some people have to stay back and make a welcoming place for them to gather to! It's kind of like that Boyd K. Packer quote that "the end of all activity in the Church is to see that a man and a woman with their children are happy at home, sealed together for time and for all eternity." Just herding Israel around from one place to another like sheep isn't the point at all. The point is to gather God's lost children from where they are into something better—and WE have to be the thing that makes it better. The point is to bring them home—and we have to be the home. I think that's so interesting!

I also really loved this:

The kind of work the sisters of this Church are asked to do in our day has never been too modest in scope or inconsequential to the Lord. Through their faithfulness, they can feel His approval and be blessed with the companionship of His Spirit.

I think I could never hear this too much—that my work is not inconsequential. I know it isn't and yet it just feels SO much like it is, from day to day! But I can see evidence of God's approval when I feel His Spirit. As Elder Eyring said a couple years ago, "If you have felt the influence of the Holy Ghost today, you may take it as a sweet evidence that the Atonement is working in your life."

One more thing that struck me was the kindness and generosity with which Sister Beck talked about the Visiting Teaching program (which was still in existence at this time, but was making some changes): 

Throughout the years, Relief Society sisters and leaders have learned one step at a time and have improved in their ability to watch over others. There have been times when sisters have focused more on completing visits, teaching lessons, and leaving notices when they have stopped by their sisters’ homes. These practices have helped sisters learn patterns of watchcare. Just as people in the time of Moses concentrated on keeping long lists of rules, the sisters of Relief Society have at times imposed many written and unwritten rules upon themselves in their desire to understand how to strengthen one another.

With so much need for relief and rescue in the lives of sisters and their families today, our Heavenly Father needs us to follow a higher path and demonstrate our discipleship by sincerely caring for His children.

I think I just liked the acknowledgement that ALL the programs of the church, and all their different iterations and emphases, have been helpful and good for their times. Sometimes I feel bad about how people talk about visiting teaching like it was this outdated Pharisaical thing that we've grown so far past in our current enlightened state. And yes. We have been asked to be higher and holier. But all the things we've done in the past HAVE been important and served important purposes! They weren't just wasted. They helped us learn! They taught us patterns! They formed habits! Sometimes I think the younger women who were never around for Visiting Teaching missed out on some lessons I'm grateful I learned—lessons about consistency, accountability, face to face interaction, pushing through discomfort, speaking together of sacred things, etc. Ministering obviously can, and maybe should, still include those things, but since they aren't overtly mentioned, it's easy to forget them. And Sister Beck says that even the "unwritten rules" we "impose on ourselves" might have served good purposes at certain times. I like that view of the past—the generous view rather than "Everyone was only going through the motions back in the bad old days!" I like it because it gives me hope that all the things we try to do in the church now, all our imperfect and clumsy attempts at figuring out how to best help and serve and love each other—even if these attempts end up needing correction and change later on—still serve important purposes. They are not inconsequential. They still help us "learn one step at a time." They still advance us along the path towards God.

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Solace from the Comforter

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 2010 Conference.

I liked this little tidbit from Elder Jay E. Jensen's talk. He was talking about how President Monson was so good at ministering to the widows and the sick and everyone he met. This does seem to have been a special gift of President Monson's—ministering to the "one"—I remember many people talking about it at his funeral. But sometimes when I've heard stories of him, or other faithful bishops and young men's leaders who are so persistent and so successful at reaching straying youth, I have thought, "Yes, that is definitely the ideal…but what about when church leaders don't minister to our youth in that way? What about all the people who don't have a President Monson in their ward or in their life?" I've usually concluded, "Well, we just have to try to BE those loving, ministering people for those around us, and trust God to make up for the shortcomings of ourselves and others." 

But I also liked what Elder Jensen said about this exact question:

But sometimes there is no one like President Monson, no home teacher, no caring sister available to minister in time of need. In those situations I have come to find solace and direction from the Comforter, another role of the Holy Ghost.

I like the idea that Heavenly Father, knowing mortal leaders and assignments would often be imperfect, sent another comforter who will never fall short, who will always be there for us in our hard times. Basically, the Holy Ghost is my ministering brother and perfect priesthood leader and best friend all in one! He can help and comfort me when there's no one else. And He can teach ME how to improve at ministering to others too.

Other posts in this series:

Nuggets and Pearls—by Rozy

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To do uncommon things for others

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Relief Society Session of the October 2009 Conference.

I thought a lot about ministering as I read the talks in this session. There was a lot of emphasis on Visiting Teaching from the speakers, and as I remembered those days it made me miss the clarity of all the sisters just expecting each other to come once a month and share a message. I liked those little messages, and I liked the discussions they led to. I know I could still bring such a message on a ministering visit…but now I feel like it would be weird. Ah, well. I am doing my best to learn how minister in a more Christlike way. Here are some quotes from the various talks about visiting teaching that also apply beautifully to ministering:

Sister Julie B. Beck said this:

A sister in this Church has no other responsibility outside of her family that has the potential to do as much good as does visiting teaching.

and this:

It is our blessing to pray for another sister and receive inspiration as to how the Lord would have us care for one of His daughters.

Sister Silvia H. Allred said:

I have witnessed the same miracle in the lives of many women in different parts of the world. They embrace the gospel, and Relief Society helps them strengthen their faith and grow spiritually by giving them leadership and teaching opportunities. In their service, a new dimension is added to their lives. As they progress spiritually, their sense of belonging, identity, and self-worth increases. They realize that the whole intent of the gospel plan is to provide an opportunity for us to reach our fullest potential.

And Elder Eyring said:

[Covenant-keeping women] have done and are able to do uncommon things for others and to find joy even when their own unmet needs are great.

I want to be better at ministering. It seems like every time I start to feel real friendship for a sister, my assignment gets switched and I'm back trying to reach out to a stranger again! But even that does, gradually, help me build small relationships which can slowly grow into bigger ones. My current ministering sisters have only visited me once. We talked for 20 minutes or so. And they've dropped off a treat a time or two. So our contact has been very minimal, but even with that, when I see them at church or an activity, I feel a little warm feeling of familiarity and recognition: "Oh! There's Sister Merrill!" I feel like I could go sit by them. They smile at me. It's all on the very most basic level of friendship—we aren't sharing secrets or life advice yet—but it is a start, and a happy start at that. It always surprises me how relatively few contacts it takes to get to that point. To do "uncommon things," we first have to do common things!

Now, of course, our goal is to do more and become more to each other. But in my experience, that does happen naturally as we keep connecting with each other—even through awkward and imperfect connections. Ministering really is such an amazing and inspired opportunity for sisterhood!

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Not a passive power

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the October 2002 Conference.

We had an interesting discussion in ward council about ministering. The bishop was saying how a lot of ministering is happening organically among ward members—people are loving and serving and helping each other—but ministering assignments are not necessarily getting done. Then someone else brought up how he's talked to a lot of people who feel guilty all the time because even though they are doing so many good things—giving rides to a neighbor's kids', delivering a meal, sending an encouraging text message—they feel like it doesn't "count" somehow if they aren't ministering to the people they're "supposed" to minister to.

I can relate to that feeling a little bit, because ministering is something you always feel like you can do better, and it's easy to focus on what more you should (always!) be doing and forget the good you ARE doing. And I also know that so many people are good and do good. So many people serve quietly, without assignment and without notice. And obviously that kind of service does count with God; it is so important to Him! He sees it and appreciates it.

But. I've also been thinking about that "ministering gap" Elder Gong talked about, where people think they're doing enough ministering, but those they "minister" to aren't actually feeling it. And I've been thinking about how many times lately I've heard leaders tell us to do more ministering—not less. More. And to do it face to face, in people's homes. And I've been reflecting on how, despite my own desires to "be good and do good," life just gets so busy and so pressing that unless I have an assignment and feel a sense of duty, I often just don't manage to find time for spontaneous service and involvement with others' lives.

So, I don't know. I don't know if, as a church, we're pressing too hard or doing too much or doing too little. I don't know if, as a church, we're managing "higher and holier" in our ministering—or not. But I do think I am personally more aware of the importance of ministering than I used to be—more committed to it—and I have more of a desire than I used to. Of course I make an effort partly because I "should." But mostly because I want to…and the concepts of should and want to don't seem as far apart as they used to, either. 

Furthermore, I love the way our church handles ministering. To me, ministering assignments distill my vague feeling of "desire to serve" down into an easy channel for action! They give me a way to serve others that's manageable and personal. They help me reach out to women I might not naturally have been drawn to, and they help me learn to love those women. In my last two wards, I can think of at least 16 women I have awkwardly reached out to, served, laughed and cried with, and eventually felt a true connection with—purely through ministering. There is no possible way I would have just spontaneously, out of my good desires, found and befriended all these women on my own. It's miraculous! Of course I try to minister to others in my path too—neighbors, friends, people I have stewardship over, people I work with in my calling. But it really comforts me to know that because I have a ministering assignment (and so does everyone else), no one ought to be overlooked.

That was a very long preface to two quotes I liked from President Faust's talk to the Priesthood brethren. This whole session was so good—just a classic, wonderful, old Priesthood Session (I miss those!). Elder Ballard gave the "Raise the Bar" talk about missionary work. President Hinckley gave one of his awesome, hard-hitting "rise up and be men!" talks. And President Faust, quoting David O. McKay, said this:

“The very essence of Priesthood is eternal. As it finds expression in life it manifests power. We can conceive of the power of Priesthood as being potentially existent as an impounded reservoir of water. Such power becomes dynamic and productive of good only when the liberated force becomes active in valleys, fields, gardens and happy homes; so the principle of power is manifested only as it becomes active in the lives of men, turning their hearts and desires toward God, and prompting service to their fellow men.” 

If we aren’t serving others, then the priesthood really doesn’t benefit us because it is not a passive power. Brethren, be generous with the power of blessing which comes through the priesthood, especially to members of your own family. Remember that the Lord has said, “Whomsoever you bless I will bless.”

That's what I feel about the ministering assignments I've been given. They help unlock the power I ought to be using all the time to serve others. My calling does the same thing, and so does my role as a mother, of course. All those divinely-given roles give me a place to keep my covenants and a way to demonstrate my commitment to God. Obviously I don't always live up to those covenants, but I'm so grateful for at least the chance to put them into action! Then I loved what President Faust said to sum it all up:

The Master taught us that “whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.” Some of the most rewarding times of our lives are those “extra mile” hours given in service when the body says it wants to relax, but our better self emerges and says, “Here am I; send me.”

I've found that to be true! Of course I fall short of the mother, wife, friend, and ministering sister I want to be. But it's rewarding to even make the effort!

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This has to spring from the heart

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the October 1997 Conference. 

Some time ago, maybe around the time the church changed "visiting teaching" to "ministering," I started thinking about ministering and assignments. It has never bothered me that we have ministering assignments in our wards—in fact, I love it because it means (theoretically) that no one gets forgotten. It makes sense to me that even though heartfelt, spontaneous actions are good, planned and dutiful actions can also be good. But, something about the change in focus with ministering made me think about other ministering stewardships I might have in my life—the unassigned ones. I thought about various people I interact with and feel a certain pull toward—and I recognized that "pull" as the spirit telling me, "These people are your personal ministering responsibility as well."

I'm not perfect at it, but as I've worked on "official" ministering in my ward, I think I have improved at remembering these other people in my life too, and I try to reflect on them and widen that circle from time to time as well. I try to remember them in my prayers and think of small thoughtful ways I can reach out to them. Even though I do honestly love most of these people, thinking about them isn't automatic; it takes effort and intent. It's easy to get caught up in my own life and forget. Even a smile and a friendly word across the back fence takes a certain amount of outgoing-ness and commitment that isn't effortless for me. So I have to work at it, and I am working at it.

I thought about all of that as I read this talk, "Care for New Converts" by Elder Carl B. Pratt. I really liked this quote:

Brothers and sisters, we have the richest blessings that God can give to His children. We have the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We ought to be the most open, friendly, happy, kind, considerate, thoughtful, loving people in the whole world. Now, we do pretty well at fulfilling callings, at going to meetings, at paying our tithing; but have we learned to truly live the second great commandment: “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself”? This is not something that can be assigned to the elders quorum or to the visiting teachers; this has to spring from the heart of every true disciple of Christ, a person who will look automatically and without being asked for opportunities to serve, to uplift, and to strengthen his fellowman.

We are reminded of the Savior’s words, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35). Will nonmembers, new converts, and visitors to our chapels recognize us as His disciples by the warmth of our greeting, by the ease of our smiles, by the kindness and genuine concern that shine in our eyes?

I don't think I can claim to "look automatically" for these "extra" service opportunities, the ones outside of my official callings and assignments. But I'm trying to look for them…un-automatically; that is, I'm trying to THINK to look for them. I definitely have the desire to do so. I have seen so clearly the difference it makes in a ward, and in my own life, when there are loving friends who take their unassigned moments and use them to "serve, uplight, and strengthen" others! I have been the recipient of this kind of love many times, and it makes me want to be that kind of friend myself for those in my own personal "ministering" circle.

Elder Pratt concludes:

In building the kingdom of God, every positive act, every friendly greeting, every warm smile, every thoughtful, kind note contributes to the strength of the whole. It is my prayer that we may be open and outgoing, friendly, and helpful to all who come among us.… Let us conscientiously look for occasions to show that love which the Savior admonished us to have when He said, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another.”

Other posts in this series:

Wisdom—by Rozy

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