Always ready to serve

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the October 2010 Conference.

Sam and I were talking recently about finding one's "purpose in life." Some people feel strong pulls to do important things—adopt foster children, start up non-profit organizations, coordinate humanitarian efforts. Some people feel called to move from their comfortable lives to serve in distant places. Some people seem asked to endure greater-than-usual tragedies. There are so many people who have purposes we can see and admire. Of course to some extent, we know, everyone faces times when they have to rise to a calling or a purpose they feel unqualified for. Specific challenges or responsibilities often come looking for us whether we want them or not. And yet—Sam and I were saying, even knowing this, that often in regular life there seems to be no specific purpose in front of us, beyond "just keep trying to be good." There seems nothing epic or interesting about it. Parenthood. Serving in the church. Going to work and raising the kids and trying to keep on top of your responsibilities. In this normalcy, it's easy to feel unimportant or secondary to God's work (even when we know there really IS no "secondary"). It's easy to wonder if we should be finding something grander to contribute—or to ask why we aren't already being given some more obvious directive from God. 

It's not that we want to be "seen of men." Sam and I both grew up with a core belief that the best kind of saint is one who serves quietly and continuously, lifting where he stands. We saw examples of such people all around us in our families and wards when we were young, and we aspired to be like them. But, perhaps because the people doing impressive and important work are also often good, faithful, humble people, we still sometimes feel that sense of insignificance in comparison.

This talk by President Uchtdorf made me think about all these things again. I love his remedy for those feelings of being less-important or unpurposeful:

We are servants of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are not given [our reponsibilities] so that we can take our bows and bask in praise. We are here to roll up our sleeves and go to work. We are enlisted in no ordinary task. We are called to prepare the world for the coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We seek not our own honor but give praise and glory to God. We know that the contribution we can make by ourselves is small; nevertheless, as we exercise the power of the priesthood in righteousness, God can cause a great and marvelous work to come forth through our efforts. We must learn, as Moses did, that “man is nothing” by himself but that “with God all things are possible.” …

Humility does not mean convincing ourselves that we are worthless, meaningless, or of little value. Nor does it mean denying or withholding the talents God has given us. We don’t discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving God and our fellowman. …

I once owned a pen that I loved to use during my career as an airline captain. By simply turning the shaft, I could choose one of four colors. The pen did not complain when I wanted to use red ink instead of blue. It did not say to me, “I would rather not write after 10:00 p.m., in heavy fog, or at high altitudes.” The pen did not say, “Use me only for important documents, not for the daily mundane tasks.” With greatest reliability it performed every task I needed, no matter how important or insignificant. It was always ready to serve.

In a similar way we are tools in the hands of God. When our heart is in the right place, we do not complain that our assigned task is unworthy of our abilities. We gladly serve wherever we are asked. When we do this, the Lord can use us in ways beyond our understanding to accomplish His work.

It's so good to keep this dichotomy in mind, of our relative insignificance but also our grand purpose—the grand purpose all of us are part of—preparing for Jesus' Second Coming. And, once one has contemplated that, there's not much benefit in fretting over it, mulling over and over "What is my purpose? What is my importance? What is my value?"—but instead, we can find our answers and our purpose and our peace in just forgetting ourselves in the service of God and  our fellowman.

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Virtue and Power

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Young Women's Session of the April 2009 Conference.

I thought it was interesting to read Sister Mary N. Cook's 2009 talk on virtue right after studying President Nelson's most recent conference talk on virtue. The Young Women's program had a big emphasis on virtue during these years (I remember when they added virtue as one of the Young Women Values) so it was a frequent theme. I don't think I had quite been called as YW President yet in 2009, but the emphasis was still there whenever I was called, soon after this, I think. I'm sure President Nelson was even involved with some of the discussions and the adding of the new value, etc., and for all I know this General Young Women Presidency influenced his thinking on the subject!

Sister Cook says,

Why is our being virtuous so important not just to our earthly parents but to our Heavenly Father as well? Virtue brings peace, strength of character, and happiness in this life. Our Heavenly Father knew that we would be faced with many choices and challenges, and virtuous living would prepare us to succeed.

So we definitely need virtue, no doubt about that! But what does it really mean? I have been trying to study the word and concept of virtue since President Nelson's talk, and in all my study I've not really found much difference between the idea of "virtue" and the idea of just "being good." It seems like for most applications, they are synonymous. Virtue does have the specific connotation of sexual purity, and Sister Dalton emphasized this in her talk: "The core of a virtuous life is sexual purity, and yet this definition has almost been erased by the world. The prophet Mormon taught that chastity and virtue are “most dear and precious above all things” (Moroni 9:9). They go together." But as I read through President Nelson's talk, it seemed like replacing the word "virtue" with "righteousness" or "goodness" would really do just as well.

I won't go into all my thoughts about this subject because I'm still figuring out what they are😁, but there is one theme that has been really prevalent in all the reading I've done, and that is the connection between virtue and power. Sister Cook quoted the Personal Progress manual (I miss Personal Progress!) which said:

Determine to partake worthily of the sacrament each week and fill your life with virtuous activities that will bring spiritual power. As you do this, you will grow stronger in your ability to resist temptation, keep the commandments [remain clean], and become more like Jesus Christ.

I also really liked her idea of forming "patterns of virtue" (reminds me of President Nelson's "spiritual momentum") in this encouraging quote:

Just as the Salt Lake Temple took 40 years to build, stone by stone, you are building a virtuous life, step by step. You have made covenants to be obedient. You have made some good choices. The patterns of virtue you develop now will help you to continually hold fast to the iron rod.

Whether virtue is just "being good" or something more than that, I want to gain the spiritual power that living virtuously will allow. I want my children to gain that power as well! Something another speaker, Sister Ann M. Dibb, said in this session was very hopeful along those lines:

Thinking back to when I was a young woman, I recognize that I did not understand the magnitude of what was happening in my life. I did not realize that my participation in each and every Church activity was helping me develop a lifelong pattern and commitment to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. I didn’t understand that I was being prepared for my future life as an individual, a wife, a mother, and a leader. I didn’t understand that as I tried to choose the right, I was honoring my baptismal covenants, exercising faith, increasing my virtue, and preparing to go to the temple. I couldn’t see all of this then, but in very small, incremental steps, I was becoming a believer—and “an example of the believers.”

I know the same thing has happened to me as I've walked step by step along the covenant path, so I have to be optimistic that my children will learn to desire and qualify for those same blessings, by seeking after virtue as best they can at every stage of their lives!

Other posts in this series:

Virtue—by Rozy

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Access to covenant power

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the April 2009 Conference.

I think it's fascinating that my deepening understanding of covenants in recent years doesn't necessarily mean no one has understood covenants until now. Ha! I mean, it's just that President Nelson is so good at explaining things, and I do think "the Lord is expanding the saints' understanding," so sometimes I feel like all this talk of "power through covenants" and "covenant connection" is some new thing. But I guess everyone who has studied covenants, or who has sought God's power, will eventually come to these same sorts of insights, and for proof we have Elder Christoffersen's talk in this 2009 conference session! It is SO good! And SO packed with doctrine! But I don't think I could have read it even ten years ago and had the context for understanding it that I have now, thanks to all the recent conference talks that have extended my knowledge. Here are a few parts of it that resonated with what I've been thinking about:

We need strong Christians who can persevere against hardship, who can sustain hope through tragedy, who can lift others by their example and their compassion, and who can consistently overcome temptations. We need strong Christians who can make important things happen by their faith.

This is a description of everything I want to be. So, how do I get there? Through the power of covenants, of course:

What is the source of such moral and spiritual power, and how do we obtain it? The source is God. Our access to that power is through our covenants with Him.

Elder Christoffersen explains so clearly the multiple ways that covenants with God give us power. I liked this thought:

First, as we walk in obedience to the principles and commandments of the gospel of Jesus Christ, we enjoy a continual flow of blessings promised by God in His covenant with us. Those blessings provide the resources we need to act rather than simply be acted upon as we go through life.…Obedience gives us greater control over our lives, greater capacity to come and go, to work and create. Of course, age, accident, and illnesses inevitably take their toll, but even so, our obedience to this gospel law enhances our capacity to deal with these challenges.

It's good to remember that even though, as we are constantly being reminded, we don't have control over all these things (age, accident, illness, trials etc)—that doesn't mean we can't have "greater control" by obeying God's commandments! That's the whole point of His laws—to help us go through life with more (not "all") agency. It feels comforting to know that we will always have the "resources we need" to cope with challenges, if we turn to God's instructions!

I also liked this reminder that whenever we feel the Spirit, we can take it as evidence of God's pleasure and be comforted by that:

…As we honor our covenants…faith expands. In the first place, the promised fruits of obedience become evident, which confirms our faith. Secondly, the Spirit communicates God’s pleasure, and we feel secure in His continued blessing and help.

It's a happy thought that even in my very imperfect days, I might have a few moments of feeling and knowing that God is happy with me. Elder Christoffersen also says:

Our covenant commitment to Him permits our Heavenly Father to let His divine influence, “the power of godliness,” flow into our lives. He can do that because by our participation in priesthood ordinances we exercise our agency and elect to receive it. Our participation in those ordinances also demonstrates that we are prepared to accept the additional responsibility that comes with added light and spiritual power.

I think it's interesting that many people might feel some desire for godly power. But many also don’t want to do something just because God or a prophet [or “an old white man”] says so. And that itself shows that they are not ready for more power, because they wouldn’t use it as God would. Our submission, our willingness to do whatever He says, demonstrates that we are at least starting to learn lessons about what true power means and how the greatest of all must be the servant of all. It shows, as Elder Christoffersen says, that we're ready to start practicing with that power.

I also loved this:

It is the Holy Ghost that reveals how you may clear the next seemingly insurmountable hurdle. It is by the Holy Ghost in you that others may feel the pure love of Christ and receive strength to press forward. It is also the Holy Ghost, in His character as the Holy Spirit of Promise, that confirms the validity and efficacy of your covenants and seals God’s promises upon you.

It's true. I don't fully understand it, but it's true! I can't even say how many times now I have pressed forward blindly, but obediently, and somehow "cleared the next seemingly insurmountable hurdle." And all those promises to covenant Israel President Nelson has wanted us to study really are relevant to our lives! God will send the strength, the helpers, and the wisdom that we need to face absolutely any trial! Those promises are "sealed upon us" as we cling to our covenants, and that is perhaps the most comforting truth of all!

Other posts in this series:

Provident Living—by Rozy

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The power of God manifest

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the April 2005 Conference.

Elder Holland shared such a beautiful testimony of the power of the priesthood:

I have beheld the power of God manifest in my home and in my ministry. I have seen evil rebuked and the elements controlled. I know what it means to have mountains of difficulty move and ominous Red Seas part. I know what it means to have the destroying angel “pass by them.” To have received the authority and to have exercised the power of “the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God,” is as great a blessing for me and for my family as I could ever hope for in this world. And that, in the end, is the meaning of the priesthood in everyday terms—its unequaled, unending, constant capacity to bless.

 It reminded me of what he said in his most recent talk: 

We need to believe in angels and miracles and the promises of the holy priesthood. We need to believe in the gift of the Holy Ghost, the influence of good families and friends, and the power of the pure love of Christ. We need to believe in revelation and prophets, seers, and revelators and President Russell M. Nelson.

I've seen more miracles in my life the past few years than I ever imagined I would see in a lifetime. It may be because I've been looking for them so much more than I used to, but I hope it's also because the power of God is being made manifest more than ever before—"the veil o'er the earth is beginning to burst!" What a blessing!

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Custodians of these commanding powers

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the April 2003 Conference.

Malachi has been writing essays on the idea of a Universal Basic Income (it's for some contest he's doing called International Public Policy Forum—could any name possibly sound more boring?) and it has had me thinking about gospel principles like Consecration, the Law of the Harvest, and how God has a work and a glory. I just don't understand why so many people think getting something for nothing is even possible, let alone desirable! There is something eternally significant about putting in effort to get a reward ("the Lord loves effort"!) 

Neil Peart wrote a line that goes through my head sometimes when I think about doing hard things for the gospel cause—"We will pay the price, but we will not count the cost."  President Faust gave a talk along these lines too:

My dear young friends, there is another great truth that you young men must learn. It is that everything has a price. There is a price to pay for success, fulfillment, accomplishment, and joy. There are no freebies. If you don’t pay the price that is needed for success, you will pay the price of failure. Preparation, work, study, and service are required to achieve and find happiness. Disobedience and lack of preparation carry a terrible price tag. As priesthood holders of this Church, part of the price we need to pay is by living differently from the world. We are the possessors and custodians of these commanding powers which can and do roll back the power of Satan on the earth. With all my heart I urge you to please help us push back the world. We must stand against the wind. Sometimes we must be unpopular and simply say, “This is not right.”

He adds, prophetically:

You young men will be working out your eternal destiny at an interesting time. In the future there will continue to be an increase in scientific discoveries and inventions which will make life more comfortable and easier for many. No doubt medical science will continue to find new treatments and cures not available now. In contrast, the worldly influences of evil will likely increase, and more people will become vulnerable to the deceit and enticement of Satan. You young men will need to become stronger spiritually and morally in order to withstand the temptations and snares of the world.…

I also believe that in the future the opposition from Satan will be both more subtle and more open. While in some ways it may be more blatant, it will be masked with greater sophistication and cunning. We will need greater spirituality to perceive all the forms of evil and greater strength to resist it.

It seems like exactly the call we need in our day. There's nothing I'd like more than to "roll back the power of Satan on the earth," but it won't happen without effort and sacrifice on my part. I want to gain enough power through my covenants to stay strong—and help my children stay strong—against his many deceptions!

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Not a passive power

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the October 2002 Conference.

We had an interesting discussion in ward council about ministering. The bishop was saying how a lot of ministering is happening organically among ward members—people are loving and serving and helping each other—but ministering assignments are not necessarily getting done. Then someone else brought up how he's talked to a lot of people who feel guilty all the time because even though they are doing so many good things—giving rides to a neighbor's kids', delivering a meal, sending an encouraging text message—they feel like it doesn't "count" somehow if they aren't ministering to the people they're "supposed" to minister to.

I can relate to that feeling a little bit, because ministering is something you always feel like you can do better, and it's easy to focus on what more you should (always!) be doing and forget the good you ARE doing. And I also know that so many people are good and do good. So many people serve quietly, without assignment and without notice. And obviously that kind of service does count with God; it is so important to Him! He sees it and appreciates it.

But. I've also been thinking about that "ministering gap" Elder Gong talked about, where people think they're doing enough ministering, but those they "minister" to aren't actually feeling it. And I've been thinking about how many times lately I've heard leaders tell us to do more ministering—not less. More. And to do it face to face, in people's homes. And I've been reflecting on how, despite my own desires to "be good and do good," life just gets so busy and so pressing that unless I have an assignment and feel a sense of duty, I often just don't manage to find time for spontaneous service and involvement with others' lives.

So, I don't know. I don't know if, as a church, we're pressing too hard or doing too much or doing too little. I don't know if, as a church, we're managing "higher and holier" in our ministering—or not. But I do think I am personally more aware of the importance of ministering than I used to be—more committed to it—and I have more of a desire than I used to. Of course I make an effort partly because I "should." But mostly because I want to…and the concepts of should and want to don't seem as far apart as they used to, either. 

Furthermore, I love the way our church handles ministering. To me, ministering assignments distill my vague feeling of "desire to serve" down into an easy channel for action! They give me a way to serve others that's manageable and personal. They help me reach out to women I might not naturally have been drawn to, and they help me learn to love those women. In my last two wards, I can think of at least 16 women I have awkwardly reached out to, served, laughed and cried with, and eventually felt a true connection with—purely through ministering. There is no possible way I would have just spontaneously, out of my good desires, found and befriended all these women on my own. It's miraculous! Of course I try to minister to others in my path too—neighbors, friends, people I have stewardship over, people I work with in my calling. But it really comforts me to know that because I have a ministering assignment (and so does everyone else), no one ought to be overlooked.

That was a very long preface to two quotes I liked from President Faust's talk to the Priesthood brethren. This whole session was so good—just a classic, wonderful, old Priesthood Session (I miss those!). Elder Ballard gave the "Raise the Bar" talk about missionary work. President Hinckley gave one of his awesome, hard-hitting "rise up and be men!" talks. And President Faust, quoting David O. McKay, said this:

“The very essence of Priesthood is eternal. As it finds expression in life it manifests power. We can conceive of the power of Priesthood as being potentially existent as an impounded reservoir of water. Such power becomes dynamic and productive of good only when the liberated force becomes active in valleys, fields, gardens and happy homes; so the principle of power is manifested only as it becomes active in the lives of men, turning their hearts and desires toward God, and prompting service to their fellow men.” 

If we aren’t serving others, then the priesthood really doesn’t benefit us because it is not a passive power. Brethren, be generous with the power of blessing which comes through the priesthood, especially to members of your own family. Remember that the Lord has said, “Whomsoever you bless I will bless.”

That's what I feel about the ministering assignments I've been given. They help unlock the power I ought to be using all the time to serve others. My calling does the same thing, and so does my role as a mother, of course. All those divinely-given roles give me a place to keep my covenants and a way to demonstrate my commitment to God. Obviously I don't always live up to those covenants, but I'm so grateful for at least the chance to put them into action! Then I loved what President Faust said to sum it all up:

The Master taught us that “whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.” Some of the most rewarding times of our lives are those “extra mile” hours given in service when the body says it wants to relax, but our better self emerges and says, “Here am I; send me.”

I've found that to be true! Of course I fall short of the mother, wife, friend, and ministering sister I want to be. But it's rewarding to even make the effort!

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Priesthood models

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the October 2001 Conference. 

I liked this reflection from from Elder Keith K. Hilbig about things he'd learned from other Priesthood holders. I know my sons have learned so much from their quorum leaders and bishops and other men too! But I was struck by the way Elder Hilbig talks about his Home Teaching companion. I really miss this dynamic in the church for my boys. When I was growing up, my brothers had great Home Teaching companions, older men, that went with them faithfully every month. But even though my boys have always had ministering companions assigned (also older men), they have never actually been taken out ministering! (Well—maybe twice. Out of all of them.) I can't really blame the men too much, because I know Sam has had other boys assigned to him in the past and hasn't gone with them either—it's hard to coordinate schedules with a teenage boy, especially a reluctant one! And it's even hard to get your own boys to go with you sometimes. So I understand the difficulty.

Still, I wish, wish, wish, that some older priesthood holder would just square his shoulders and DO it!  Take my boys to go minister! Keep asking them and don't give up until it happens! What a blessing and an example that would be. I know Sam and I could and should facilitate service for our own children. But there is something really cool about having someone else in the ward take on that role and be that kind of example.

Anyway, here is Elder Hilbig:

I was able to learn the importance of priesthood service not only by observing my grandfather, father, and brother magnify their callings but also from the brethren in my ward who were priesthood models to me. 

As a newly ordained teacher in the Aaronic Priesthood, my first home teaching companion was Henry Wilkening, a high priest nearly 60 years my senior. He was a German immigrant, a shoemaker by trade, small in stature, but an energetic and faithful shepherd to the families assigned to us. I trotted behind him (for he seemed to walk and to climb stairs much faster than I could) during our monthly visits, which took us into sobering environments new to my sheltered experience. He expected me to present part of each lesson and to make all the appointments, but mostly I listened and watched as he aided brothers and sisters with various spiritual and social, economic and emotional needs previously unknown to me as a 14-year-old. 

I began to realize how much good could be done by a single faithful priesthood bearer. I watched Brother Wilkening forging a strong priesthood link for himself through his loving service to those families in need—and to me in my youth. 

The many priesthood men I observed while growing up taught me that providing priesthood service to others is not dependent upon a particular title or specific calling or formal position in the kingdom. Rather the opportunity arises from and is inherent within the fact that one has received the priesthood of God.

Other posts in this series:

Sacrifice—by Rozy 

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Never let the power lie dormant

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Priesthood Session of the April 1997 Conference.

I've been watching our lawn the last several weeks as it comes out of dormancy. It's so interesting as it changes—first it is SO brown and dead it looks like it will never come back! And then little patches become greenish, and then larger patches—and finally it's all green and growing like crazy, so fast you can hardly keep it mowed! (And then the summer heat comes and sometimes some of it dies again. But we won't talk about that.)

I thought about that when I read President Faust's talk. He says, "Brethren, we must never let the great powers of the holy priesthood of God lie dormant in us."

I think it applies to women too, as we exercise the power of the priesthood that comes through our covenants, and the power of faith that President Nelson has been trying to teach us about. And I like that way of saying it, because it implies that it's already there, waiting and ready to be accessed! We just have to activate the power by keeping our covenants and being willing to act.

I recently got a new calling in my ward (Primary President), so I've been thinking about how often that faith-based action is something we have to pretty much initiate ourselves. Heavenly Father doesn't seem to want us to wait to act until we know what to do! Ha. It seems backwards, and I guess sometimes we do get instructions, but many times we have to get the ideas for our initial fumbling steps just in the midst of our own uncertainty. Every day I think, "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing next! But…I guess I could try making a list of the children…" or whatever comes to mind as I'm casting confusedly about. And then as I act on that, I start to feel more confident, and I begin to get inspiration on the next thing to do. 

Did I already talk here about the "ready, go, set" mentality Sam teaches his students about in Animation? He teaches them that you can't get everything in place, perfectly lined up and conceived and planned, before you start working on a project. You can do some planning, but after that, the only way to progress is to just START! You can't actually be successful until you start, falter, fail, make course corrections, improve, and keep moving forward toward your goal.

Heavenly Father seems to have something similar in mind for us by having us do SO many things before we feel ready. Baptism, temple covenants, marriage, parenthood, and callings all come before we're fully "prepared." We have to start trying to figure things out, start having experiences, before we can really learn anything useful! It goes against my nature—I would really rather wait to be Primary President, or any other thing, until I knew how to do it well! But that's not how it works, apparently.

President Faust brings up this same idea when he says:

Many years ago we were taught by President Harold B. Lee a fuller meaning of the direction from the Lord: “Let every man stand in his own office, and labor in his own calling.” He said: “It becomes the responsibility of those of us who lead to let, to permit, to give opportunity for every man to learn his duty. …Help is not helpful if we assume the prerogatives that belong to that individual.” This fuller understanding also means that presiding officers of the Church should be careful not to usurp the responsibilities and duties of those they are called to direct.

And why shouldn't we "usurp" the responsibilities of those we lead? I think it's because they, too, won't learn until they act! I've been thinking about this with myself and my primary presidency, and it makes me want to think about how I can "give opportunity" for my own children to do more in their "own offices," too. It wouldn't be good for them if I allowed the power of their faith "go dormant" by denying them the chance to act for themselves!

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Power and Trust

 This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the October 1995 Conference.

Man, there was a lot of powerful doctrine taught in this conference! I don't even know which talk to choose. I loved Sister Beckham's talk, Elder Scott's talk, and President Packer's talk, but I guess I'll just highlight a couple quotes from the first two because they're about things I've been studying.

First, Sister Beckham had so many interesting things to say about power. She talked about bullies and fear and power in elementary school, and then told about how when her handicapped brother was born, she discovered a new kind of power:

A force that was just the opposite of my outside world started to be felt inside. There seemed to develop a new dimension of love, tenderness, compassion. I watched my mother and dad make adjustments in lifestyle to lovingly care for a child who in his five-and-one-half years never learned to sit or speak but who warmed an entire room with his smile. The whole town seemed more gentle, interested, concerned. My outside fears were diminished. I felt securely attached because my mother and brother were there. My parents were home at night. Our home seemed more warm, full. There was a different power. It seemed to grow from the inside. It felt more permanent, unlike the temporary power I felt with my friends. It was calm and peaceful—the power of goodness, the power of love.

Then she relates the story of a girl whose mother had multiple sclerosis and was bedridden. The girl told of the blessings of having her mother close by and available, even though the mother couldn't do many of the usual household tasks. After the mother died, the daughter said,

“One of the hardest moments in my young life was the day I returned home from school to an empty house and walked down that long hallway to her bedroom. My built-in counselor and confidante was no longer there, but she had given me those eternal, intangible gifts of love, wisdom, and acceptance. I will be forever grateful for her goodness.”

Then Sister Beckham explains: 

This strong woman, though physically helpless, had the power to love, to motivate, to inspire, to perpetuate righteousness, to do good. 

I'm so interested in the ways we can gain true power through righteousness and through the priesthood and our temple covenants. I've pondered those words from Doctrine and Covenants 121 a million times—"without compulsory means." It becomes clearer to me every day that "compulsory means" will never work to bind my children to Jesus Christ. Obviously only their own choices can do that—and yet where is my role? What can I do? What power or influence can I summon when their own choices are hasty or foolish or ill-informed? I want so much that power Sister Beckham describes—to love, motivate, inspire, perpetuate righteousness. Elder Eyring has talked about it recently (and me too)—how a righteous mother can "mold living clay to the shape of her hopes." I pray every day for that kind of influence, and though I'm always afraid I'm not righteous enough to truly call such power down, I have to remember that Jesus Christ, from whom the power comes, IS good enough.

That goes along with the part I liked from Elder Scott's talk on trusting the Lord. I've talked before how trusting the Lord involves some component of trusting ourselves—in that we trust Him to work through our imperfections. But I like how Elder Scott phrases it here, that trusting God means almost forgetting about our own feelings in some ways:

This life is an experience in profound trust—trust in Jesus Christ, trust in His teachings, trust in our capacity as led by the Holy Spirit to obey those teachings for happiness now and for a purposeful, supremely happy eternal existence. To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning. To produce fruit, your trust in the Lord must be more powerful and enduring than your confidence in your own personal feelings and experience.

In other words, it doesn't matter if I think I'm not good enough/strong enough/patient enough to have the influence I want to on my children. I have to say to myself, "I trust the Lord MORE THAN I trust my feelings that I'm not going to succeed at this. He has said that He will help parents trying to teach their children. So even though my personal experience and feelings tell me Your children won't listen to a single word you say (ha ha, but I mean it—sometimes I really think that)—or You've tried and tried to teach this and nothing makes any difference—I have to trust God who sets forth the contrary view: they will listen, it will make a difference.

Elder Scott continues:

To exercise faith is to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing with you and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good even though you cannot understand how He can possibly do it. We are like infants in our understanding of eternal matters and their impact on us here in mortality. Yet at times we act as if we knew it all. When you pass through trials for His purposes, as you trust Him, exercise faith in Him, He will help you. That support will generally come step by step, a portion at a time. While you are passing through each phase, the pain and difficulty that comes from being enlarged will continue. If all matters were immediately resolved at your first petition, you could not grow.

I don't need to see HOW on earth someone like me can possibly have enough power to help change people, hearts, and minds. I don't even need to see continual proof that it is happening! I just have to be patient and trust that God knows what He's doing, and that He put me where I am precisely because I can have an influence there. It seems incomprehensible, but that's what God has promised! Then Elder Scott says this, which I love so much:

Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love.

Trusting God, I think, means I internalize this truth—feel it—hold onto it when things feel hard. Priesthood power is real. It's real in that Jesus has the power to save ME and bring me through hard times. And it's real in that He also lends His power to me, through covenants—granting me a real and literal ability to draw those in my circles, those I love, back toward Heavenly Father. Trust in Him, not my own merits, unlocks the power only He can give.

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