The joyful burden

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the April 2014 Conference.

Last Sunday a bunch of children got up in sacrament meeting and bore their testimonies. It wasn't coordinated or anything, it just happened to be so, and they all gave such cute little testimonies—not prompted by parents, but just short little sweet convictions: "I know Jesus loves me because he helped me when I broke my arm"—things like that. I knew I was feeling the Spirit during the meeting because I felt such hope and peace about the things I'm usually worrying about; this strong sense of "Everything is going to be okay; God is in charge and He's got everyone in His hands!"

I think that felt particularly good to me because in general, my current stage of life has me constantly feeling the opposite—like everything is complicated and messy and paradoxical and full of struggle. It's not that I don't usually feel like "everything is going to be okay," but it's more like "there is a bunch of stuff I didn't understand about how complex and thorny and stretching it is to walk the path of discipleship and get to the point where everything will be okay."

Two apostles talked about discipleship in this conference session, and you can tell from their talk titles that both of these perspectives are clear to them too: "The Cost—and Blessings—of Discipleship" and "The Joyful Burden of Discipleship." 

In the first talk, Elder Holland says

In addition to teaching, encouraging, and cheering people on (that is the pleasant part of discipleship), from time to time these same messengers are called upon to worry, to warn, and sometimes just to weep (that is the painful part of discipleship).

I am always looking for and hoping for the first part, and I do find it so often—that happy, satisfying feeling of loving and serving and fellowship where you think to yourself, "Ah! The gospel is so good!" And it is. But then at times when I'm weeping and thinking sadly, "Is there a single person in the world who isn't carrying a bunch of heavy burdens very few people know about?"… the other part rings so true too. And Elder Rasband has this reminder:

[Sustaining the prophet and the twelve apostles] is not a mere formality, nor is it reserved for those called to general service. To sustain our leaders is a privilege; it comes coupled with a personal responsibility to share their burden and to be disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Of course Jesus does give us rest from our burdens, but this burden—of aching for other people, of constantly worrying what to do, of being forced to stumble your way through complicated and unpleasant situations hoping to somehow do more good than harm—is not a burden we can lay down. I think I have been looking to lay it down sometimes. Of course I can share it with the Lord and with others! But I shouldn’t be seeking not to have it at all.

The hope comes, I guess, not from somehow closing our eyes and hoping the path will get easier, but from holding to that child-like conviction that "everything will be okay" even as we stumble along not feeling okay. President Eyring, in another talk from this session, talks about finding a way to do both:

I suggest that you take both the short and the long view as you try to give the inheritance of hope to your family. In the short run, there will be troubles and Satan will roar. And there are things to wait for patiently, in faith, knowing that the Lord acts in His own time and in His own way. 

There are things you can do early, when those you love are young. Remember that daily family prayer, family scripture study, and sharing our testimony in sacrament meeting are easier and more effective when children are young. Young children are often more sensitive to the Spirit than we realize.

When they are older, they will remember the hymns they sang with you. Even more than recalling music, they will remember the words of scripture and testimony. The Holy Ghost can bring all things to their remembrance, but the words of scriptures and hymns will last the longest. Those memories will exert a pull that may bring them back when they wander for a time, possibly for years, from the pathway home to eternal life. 

We will need the long view when those we love feel the pull of the world and the cloud of doubt seems to overwhelm their faith. We have faith, hope, and charity to guide us and to strengthen them.

It's easy to feel despair when I think about all the cute testimony-bearing children, "Yes, but what happens in a few years when you forget or reject these sweet little experiences you're having now?" But Elder Eyring promises those things will still be inside them! And Elder Holland also ends on a hopeful note:

[The path of Christian discipleship] is a strait path, and it is a narrow path without a great deal of latitude at some points, but it can be thrillingly and successfully traveled, “with … steadfastness in Christ, … a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.” In courageously pursuing such a course, you will forge unshakable faith, you will find safety against ill winds that blow, even shafts in the whirlwind, and you will feel the rock-like strength of our Redeemer, upon whom if you build your unflagging discipleship, you cannot fall.

I do want to walk the path of discipleship. And I want to do it with optimism and courage even when the cost or the burden is greater than I'd anticipated. If Elder Holland, Elder Rasband, and Elder Eyring can do it, hopefully I can too!