Our place in His kingdom

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the General Women's Session of the October 2014 Conference. 

I find myself thinking about "confidence before God" frequently ever since President Nelson's talk last year. (His last Conference talk! 😢) It's such an interesting idea—the thought that our own lack of confidence is often what keeps us from receiving more from God. You'd think, with pride being such a danger to our souls, that maybe confidence would be dangerous too. And perhaps some kinds are. But not the confidence that lets us boldly approach the throne of grace, because that is based on obedience and trust in God. President Nelson said,

As we diligently seek to have charity and virtue fill our lives, our confidence in approaching God will increase. I invite you to take intentional steps to grow in your confidence before the Lord. Then, as we go to our Heavenly Father with increasing confidence, we will be filled with more joy, and your faith in Jesus Christ will increase. We will begin to experience spiritual power that exceeds our greatest hopes.

As I read the talks from this October 2014 Women's Session, two of them helped me understand that concept better. One was President Uchtdorf's, where he said:

The promised blessings of God to the faithful are glorious and inspiring. Among them are “thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths.” And it takes more than a spiritual birth certificate or a “Child of God Membership Card” to qualify for these incomprehensible blessings.

But how do we attain them?

The Savior has answered this question in our time:

“Except ye abide my law ye cannot attain to this glory.

“For strait is the gate, and narrow the way that leadeth unto the exaltation. …

“… Receive ye, therefore, my law.”

For this reason, we speak of walking the path of discipleship.

We speak of obedience to God’s commandments.

We speak of living the gospel joyfully, with all our heart, might, mind, and soul.

At first glance this seems a little confidence-undermining, if anything: is he saying just being a child of God isn't enough? That's just what we fear, isn't it? We fear that we aren't good or important or chosen enough to receive what God has? But actually Elder Uchtdorf doesn't say anything about "good enough." He says discipleship, obedience, living the gospel. Just like President Nelson's emphasis on virtue, his emphasis here is on what we can do to become like God, and obedience is one of the things we can actually most easily do! Because obedience includes repentance, all it really takes is our own desire and willingness, and then making one effort, one step at a time, according to our best understanding.

But then this, from Sister Jean A. Stevens, made the last connection for me:

Covenants with God help us to know who we really are. They connect us to Him in a personal way through which we come to feel our value in His sight and our place in His kingdom.

Something about this explanation works for me. I know covenants give us power, but in this way they also give us confidence. Keeping covenants helps us (correctly) feel that our place is with God! It's almost like covenants prove to us, when we would otherwise (also maybe correctly) feel those "I can't possibly be good or important or chosen enough" feelings, that we DO belong with our Heavenly Father. We belong there because we've chosen to get on the path to get there! Sort of like you wouldn't be afraid to ask your piano teacher for help learning a piano piece. That fact that you couldn't already play the piece wouldn't stop you; that's the whole reason you're there. Your clumsiness and your ignorance as you first try to fumble through the notes wouldn't make you think, "Oh, I shouldn't be here. I can't play for my piano teacher sounding like this!" You'd know that you already signed up for lessons. Your teacher is sitting there next to you for the entire purpose of helping you be a better pianist. Why not show him exactly where you are and ask him the questions that will help you improve?

Our covenants with God can work the same way. "Of course I should ask God my questions, I'm going to him for 'godhood lessons.' Why wouldn't He want to hear from me? We're already in a contractual relationship where I asked Him to help me and He agreed He always would!" Obviously He is a Father too, and loves us always, but as Elder Uchtdorf said that fact alone doesn't necessarily reassure us. It's our virtue (as President Nelson says) and our discipleship (as President Uchtdorf says) and our covenants that prove (to us ourselves!) that we not only can approach God for help, but we definitely have the right to!

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Personal confidence before God

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 2014 Conference.

In this session, I loved Elder Jörg Klebingat—not only for his name (probably) but also for his talk! It reminded me a lot of President Nelson's talk on confidence. He talked about how we need to keep the commandments and give our best efforts not just because we "should," but because doing that is the only thing that will give us the confidence we need to approach (and receive blessings from) God. It's so interesting to think about it this way:

The adversary knows that faith in Christ—the kind of faith that produces a steady stream of tender mercies and even mighty miracles—goes hand in hand with a personal confidence that you are striving to choose the right.

It seems counterintuitive to think that the confidence is for us—we need confidence before God and we can only get it by doing what we know we should do! It seems a little unfair when you think of it from one angle, like, "But if I were confident that I was already doing what was right, I wouldn't NEED so much help from God!" True, and Satan tries to capitalize on that:

For that reason [Satan] will seek access to your heart to tell you lies—lies that Heavenly Father is disappointed in you, that the Atonement is beyond your reach, that there is no point in even trying, that everyone else is better than you, that you are unworthy, and a thousand variations of that same evil theme.

As long as you allow these voices to chisel away at your soul, you can’t approach the throne of God with real confidence. Whatever you do, whatever you pray for, whatever hopes for a miracle you may have, there will always be just enough self-doubt chipping away at your faith—not only your faith in God but also your confidence in yourself. Living the gospel in this manner is no fun, nor is it very healthy. Above all, it is completely unnecessary! The decision to change is yours—and yours alone.

I guess it's like spiritual momentum or like the parable of the talents or like comparing the word to a seed…you do have to start with something. Desire, or effort, or a particle of faith. (I wrote about this last week too!) But once you start, it will build on itself, and each step will lead to more help from God, and each help from God will build your confidence more. But the initial moment of agency and effort from us is not optional. (And by initial I mean repetitively initial—we have to take that "first step" over and over as we gain experience and maturity and face new challenges.)

I also liked this suggestion of a way to decide to be confident even amidst trials:

When these trials come, the adversary’s minions begin broadcasting that you did something wrong, that this is a punishment, a sign that Heavenly Father does not love you. Ignore that! Instead, try to force a smile, gaze heavenward, and say, “I understand, Lord. I know what this is. A time to prove myself, isn’t it?” Then partner with Him to endure well to the end. Spiritual confidence increases when you accept that “often trials and tribulations are allowed to come into [your life] because of what [you] are doing right."

…Acknowledge and face your weaknesses, but don’t be immobilized by them, because some of them will be your companions until you depart this earth life. No matter what your current status, the very moment you voluntarily choose honest, joyful, daily repentance by striving to simply do and be your very best, the Savior’s Atonement envelops and follows you, as it were, wherever you go."

Isn't that a great image? Being enveloped by the Savior's atonement no matter what? Being surrounded by the tools and the power to repent immediately no matter how badly you keep falling short? And that blessing can be ours "the very moment" we decide to keep giving our best efforts to God.

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Bathed in help even during turbulent times

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the April 2010 Conference. 

We started a new decade of General Conference sessions! This is the last full decade we have left and then we'll start on the 2020's! 

There were so many good talks in this session, and each of them seemed to have some pertinent advice for my challenges right now. I particularly liked Sister Julie B. Beck's talk “And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit.” It reminded me of something else I read lately by one of my favorite Catholic writers and mothers, Leila Lawler. She was writing about the concept, much fretted over in some circles these days, of the disproportionate "mental load" women supposedly bear:

The woman of the house indeed has a lot on her mind, because her mind encompasses every facet of life instead of one circumscribed slice of it. She cares for her home, the bodies in it, the neighborhood outside it. She is building the one place upon which it all depends.

Casting this effort as an intolerable burden on her, emphasizing that she is not paid for it, and inciting in her a chafing rebellion against it, undermines her value.

Frankly, the voices of “mental load” amplify narcissism, seeking to convince the wife that she is the only one who is thinking about anything! It is a psy-op, a disruptive tactic.

At the same time, they insidiously cast doubt on her strength for the task. How belittling!

It’s the spirit of contempt, not of cooperation; it creates an atmosphere of conflict, not of collaboration. It hits at the heart of the marital bond of complementary love.

Because after all, everyone has a lot on his mind, not only the mother. The husband relies on his wife to juggle certain — most — details because he is quietly, often stoically, handling others. The children require a world of stability, maintained by a loving heart, so they can be free for the adventure of learning, well, everything.

Making life good for these loved ones is precisely the wonderful and completely voluntary path we housewives undertook when we said “I do.” That it entails work should not come as a surprise.…

Why would we complain about keeping common sense in the world? Get a calendar, write things on the blackboard, organize some of your things, smile as you remind about picking up milk.

Your job is a great one — don’t listen to the serpents who wish to disturb your garden.

I love that reminder not to dwell on "unfairness" and whether or not we should "have to" bear the burdens of wifehood and motherhood. Does focusing on that make anyone happier? Does it lead to clearer vision or greater gratitude? And here is Sister Beck saying essentially the same thing, fifteen years ago:

A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important. A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently.

Then she gives such an inspiring vision of how personal revelation can help the busy woman "bear up her burdens with ease":

Revelation can come hour by hour and moment by moment as we do the right things. When women nurture as Christ nurtured, a power and peace can descend to guide when help is needed. For instance, mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children. Being in the right places allows us to receive guidance. It requires a conscious effort to diminish distractions, but having the spirit of revelation makes it possible to prevail over opposition and persist in faith through difficult days and essential routine tasks. Personal revelation gives us the understanding of what to do every day to increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek those who need our help. Because personal revelation is a constantly renewable source of strength, it is possible to feel bathed in help even during turbulent times.

I loved the implicit trust she shows in our ability to grow up, leave selfishness behind, and truly be women of God:

Entrance into Relief Society signifies that a woman can be trusted and relied upon to make a significant contribution in the Church. She continues to progress as an individual without receiving much outward credit or praise.

She references the Eliza R. Snow quote I've written about before:

Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities.

and then Sister Beck elaborates:

We know we are successful if we live so that we qualify for, receive, and know how to follow the Spirit. When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves. We can feel certain that the Lord is pleased when we feel the Spirit working through us. Peace, joy, and hope are available to those who measure success properly.

I love that so much. It makes me want to straighten my shoulders and refuse to be enticed by the temptation to complain and feel sorry for myself! Why should I? I have the greatest calling in the world, and the means to fulfill it, through the grace of Jesus Christ and the power of God through covenants. If that doesn't bring me "peace, joy, and hope," what will?

Other posts in this series:

Built upon a rock—by Roy

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