Eyes that see more clearly

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the October 2013 Conference.

There were some amazing talks in this session. Elder Soares' talk on meekness was great. Elder Bednar's talk on tithing is a classic. Elder Uchtdorf's talk "Come, Join With Us" is so profound and still completely relevant (it's the "doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith" talk). But the quote I finally chose to write about was from Elder Bednar. He talks about the "significant but subtle" ways Heavenly Father often opens the windows of heaven to us—for example, rather than just giving us a new job, giving us "the blessing of greater personal determination to search harder and longer for a position than other people may be able or willing to do." Then he says:

Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals. And when we plead for relief from physical, mental, and spiritual difficulties, He may increase our resolve and resilience.…

I wrote about a similar subject in this post a couple years ago, but I'm thinking about it again today. It's our wedding anniversary (25 years!) and so many things have shifted in my understanding of God's plan since that happy, blissfully ignorant day Sam and I walked out of the temple as husband and wife. I've received so many "blessings in disguise" (though plenty of the undisguised ones as well, of course!) and surprising learning experiences. So many perspective shifts which seem at first like just interesting ideas and then surprising truths and then established realities barely worth remarking on anymore. I have changed and I am changing. It's strange to think as much change or more is likely ahead.

Elder Bednar then says this:

I testify that as we are spiritually attentive and observant, we will be blessed with eyes that see more clearly, ears that hear more consistently, and hearts that understand more fully the significance and subtlety of His ways, His thoughts, and His blessings in our lives.

I don't know how you'd know or if it even matters, but I wonder what the difference is between seeing more of God's already-existing blessings and actually receiving more blessings that weren't there before? Is God's goodness and mercy "poured out" consistently over our lifetimes and it's only our own comprehension that changes? Because I've definitely become more aware of God's involvement in my life, and my definition of what constitutes Him blessing me has certainly expanded, but I'm also convinced that the amount of tender mercies themselves truly must have doubled and tripled and exponentiafied (??) since I first started trying to write them down. Even during the most seemingly boring and mundane stretches of time, when I think to myself, "Wow, everything feels so stagnant and dull right now, surely I haven't had the light of heaven in my life for weeks"—or during the hard times when everything actually seems bad—I will look back at the tiny moments of clarity and tender mercies jotted down and realize there wasn't a single day God didn't reach out to bless me in some little way. Has He always been doing that? It is hard to comprehend.

Either way, learning to see the "significance and subtlety" of God's ways is no small blessing. I am constantly praying for even more of that ability in my eyes and ears and heart, because there are still plenty of experiences I resent or dread or misunderstand. Still plenty of "blessings in disguise," I imagine, which I just don't yet comprehend with my "natural eyes." But even to be able to conceive that they someday might be blessings, to step outside of my current blindness far enough to even realize that I might be blind, to be able to even imagine a different understanding than my present one—this is a powerful gift. This remarkable article by V. H. Cassler about "Dark Miracles" (the author's term for "blessings in disguise") has been so impactful for me. She says:

One of the most important things I have learned in this life is that a lot of the fish God gives us look initially like serpents, and many of the loaves look like stones. We must have faith that those stones could one day be seen by us as bread.

I suppose that kind of faith will expand God's blessings more and more as we, like a four-year-old going through his rock collection and not being able to throw out a single one of them, examine and re-examine each of our mortal experiences and see the beauty they contained. I don't suppose paying tithing (which after all was the entire premise of Elder Bednar's talk) is the only law tied to the blessing of expanded understanding. Perhaps all of God's laws are tied to it. But I just know that I want to keep seeking it.

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The very moment you begin

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the April 2013 Conference.

I don't really have that much to say about it, but I just loved Elder Uchtdorf's talk, The Hope of God's Light. It feels so right for this time of year, for Holy Week and for the coming springtime. He says,

Lift up your soul in prayer and explain to your Heavenly Father what you are feeling. Acknowledge your shortcomings. Pour out your heart and express your gratitude. Let Him know of the trials you are facing. Plead with Him in Christ’s name for strength and support. Ask that your ears may be opened, that you may hear His voice. Ask that your eyes may be opened, that you may see His light.

There was a time recently when I prayed to ask Heavenly Father why we often have to fight so hard to see things in an optimistic way. It feels like you have to deliberately wrench a hopeful meaning out of unhopeful events at times, and I was wishing it were easier. Then I felt the Spirit telling me, "The hopeful view is always there. But seeing it is a blessing given in return for the effort made to turn and look at it."

Something about this quote from Elder Uchtdorf's talk reminded me of that. It is so hopeful for ourselves and for our loved ones:

The very moment you begin to seek your Heavenly Father, in that moment, the hope of His light will begin to awaken, enliven, and ennoble your soul.

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So you can cease to fear

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the April 2013 Conference.

This conference had two beautiful talks about peace. Elder Quentin L. Cook takes pains to point out that "universal peace" or world peace is not the same as the personal peace we have access to at all times through being righteous. "This [personal] peace," he says, "is a promised gift of the Savior's mission and atoning sacrifice" and it is "not just a temporary tranquility. It is an abiding deep happiness and spiritual contentment."

Elder Cook talks about how even with the "peace taken from the earth" (a prophesied condition of the last days which prophets have said is already upon us) and the world in commotion, we can still feel the Savior's peace. When he gave this talk in 2013, he referenced the September 11th attacks of 2001. When the attacks happened, I do remember feeling, probably for the first time in my life, fear and uncertainty from an outside event. Sam and I were newly married, soon to be parents, and I was realizing for the first time that "the world" could actually reach into my home, my family, and hurt us! But by 2013 those feelings had mostly faded as I was immersed in motherhood and homeschool and our soon-to-be six children (I was expecting Marigold at the time of this conference). So I may not have really needed this talk when Elder Cook gave it. But now…I don't know if it's because the state of the world really is more scary and confusing and wicked, or if it's because my children are growing up and leaving my home and it feels, again, like the world is more able to get in and affect our lives, but the need for personal peace feels so relevant, even urgent! It feels like something I can't live without.

Elder Cook quotes President Heber J. Grant talking about the Savior's peace: 

"His peace will ease our suffering, bind up our broken hearts, blot out our hates, engender in our breasts a love of fellow men that will suffuse our souls with calm and happiness." 

Doesn't that sound like exactly what we need right now? He also quotes words I love from Eliza R. Snow's hymn "Though Deepening Trials": 

Lift up your hearts in praise to God;

Let your rejoicings never cease.

Though tribulations rage abroad,

Christ says, “In me ye shall have peace.” 

Elder Richard G. Scott's talk also focuses on personal peace, specifically on how we can make our homes places of peace. I liked this quote so much that I used it as the foundation for our school-year theme, "A place of refuge,"  a couple years ago:

Many voices from the world in which we live tell us we should live at a frantic pace. There is always more to do and more to accomplish. Yet deep inside each of us is a need to have a place of refuge where peace and serenity prevail, a place where we can reset, regroup, and reenergize to prepare for future pressures.

The ideal place for that peace is within the walls of our own homes, where we have done all we can to make the Lord Jesus Christ the centerpiece.

It's comforting to think that even when we start to feel that "the world is reaching in" panic, even when out-of-family (or in-family!) events make us feel helpless and vulnerable, we do have a way to keep our homes peaceful:

When we obey the commandments of the Lord and serve His children unselfishly, the natural consequence is power from God—power to do more than we can do by ourselves. Our insights, our talents, our abilities are expanded because we receive strength and power from the Lord. His power is a fundamental component to establishing a home filled with peace.

And then this is my favorite quote of the whole conference:

When you feel that there is only a thin thread of hope, it is really not a thread but a massive connecting link, like a life preserver to strengthen and lift you. It will provide comfort so you can cease to fear.

I'm so grateful for the hope and peace the Savior and His gospel allow us. I'm grateful for the "connecting link" of my covenants with Him. I want and need His gift of peace in my life!

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Seek guidance one day at a time

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Young Women's Session of the April 2012 Conference.

I had a hard time finding a talk that really spoke to me this session, and I'm not sure why. But I did like this, from President Monson:

I have spoken over the years with many individuals who have told me, “I have so many problems, such real concerns. I’m overwhelmed with the challenges of life. What can I do?” I have offered to them, and I now offer to you, this specific suggestion: seek heavenly guidance one day at a time.…Each of us can be true for just one day—and then one more and then one more after that—until we’ve lived a lifetime guided by the Spirit, a lifetime close to the Lord, a lifetime of good deeds and righteousness.

I think it's interesting that this is the advice he gave for people with such big problems. And it's not like I haven't heard "take things a day at a time!" before, but this time I was thinking about how often my deepest fears and discouragements aren't even quite about what's happening now, but what I fear is going to happen. Hard things feel insurmountable when my thoughts start spiraling toward "…and this is only the beginning!" or "…and this is only going to get harder!" or "What if something even worse comes from this?" or "I'm struggling even with this, so imagine how much I'll struggle with the next part…" 

And it's silly! Completely unhelpful! We can't even really pray about these imagined future challenges (although I'm sure we can, generally, ask for peace and future guidance) because they're so looming and nebulous! So I think this is actually really good advice because we can pray about today. We can pray about the specifics we're facing right now. And we can get the "heavenly guidance" President Monson promises about those things, enough to take the next step and then the next. Specifically seeking help for what is hard today can calm my fears enough to reassure me that if tomorrow does bring something harder, Heavenly Father will be there for for that too.

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We arise and choose to wait upon the Lord

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 2011 Conference.

I loved Elder Robert D. Hales' talk about waiting on the Lord. That's a phrase that I've often wondered about, because when you are trying to get revelation about something, and it's not coming, there's no real way to know if you're, a.) asking the wrong questions, b.) not ready to understand the answers, c.) supposed to try harder and with more urgency, d.) supposed to "wait upon the Lord." And then what does it even mean to "wait upon the Lord"? Well, Elder Hales will tell us:

What, then, does it mean to wait upon the Lord? In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust. To hope and trust in the Lord requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long-suffering, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end.

To wait upon the Lord means planting the seed of faith and nourishing it “with great diligence, and … patience.”

It means praying as the Savior did—to God, our Heavenly Father—saying: “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.” It is a prayer we offer with our whole souls in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Waiting upon the Lord means pondering in our hearts and “receiv[ing] the Holy Ghost” so that we can know “all things what [we] should do.”

As we follow the promptings of the Spirit, we discover that “tribulation worketh patience,” and we learn to “continue in patience until [we] are perfected.”

Waiting upon the Lord means to “stand fast” and “press forward” in faith, “having a perfect brightness of hope.”

It means “relying alone upon the merits of Christ” and “with [His] grace assisting [us, saying]: Thy will be done, O Lord, and not ours.”

As we wait upon the Lord, we are “immovable in keeping the commandments,” knowing that we will “one day rest from all [our] afflictions.”

And we “cast not away … [our] confidence” that “all things wherewith [we] have been afflicted shall work together for [our] good.”

So basically…everything. "Waiting on the Lord" means we do everything. Have faith, stand fast, press forward, keep the commandments, pray, etc etc etc. Ha! It makes sense, but it's not as helpful as I would have liked. But this was:

Tests and trials are given to all of us. These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His Son. He already knows, and we have the opportunity to learn, that no matter how difficult our circumstances, “all these things shall [be for our] experience, and … [our] good.”

Does this mean we will always understand our challenges? Won’t all of us, sometime, have reason to ask, “O God, where art thou?” Yes! When a spouse dies, a companion will wonder. When financial hardship befalls a family, a father will ask. When children wander from the path, a mother and father will cry out in sorrow. Yes, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Then, in the dawn of our increased faith and understanding, we arise and choose to wait upon the Lord, saying, “Thy will be done.”

Somehow this made more sense to me. Waiting on the Lord is not just "doing everything." It's absorbing the trials and challenges that come to us, and being challenged by them (because that's what they're designed to do!)—and then, in our confused and shaken and perhaps wounded state, at that point choosing again to keep seeking God. I love how Elder Hales says "we arise and choose to wait upon the Lord" because I have been at that point and I know what it feels like. All the feelings that come first—the uncertainty, the fear, the discouragement, the exhaustion—are part of what comes next: our decision to stand up and move forward anyway. Of course, "moving forward" means continuing to do all the things we know we should do, but it also means holding on to our belief those things are working—that they matter—that they make a difference. And we believe that because we trust God. We trust him enough to wait for His promises to be fulfilled.

Other posts in this series:

The Book of Mormon—by Rozy

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Your testimony will never leave your children

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the April 2010 Conference.

It seemed like every talk in this session was urging parents to just keep teaching their children about Jesus! Not an unusual topic, of course, but notable for its frequency here. I'll just pull out a few of my favorite quotes. Elder Hales said:

It is our imperative duty to help youth understand and believe the gospel in a deeply personal way. We can teach them to walk in the light, but that light cannot be borrowed. They must earn it for themselves. They must obtain their own light of testimony directly from the source of spiritual light—God Himself—through prayer and study and pondering. They must understand who they are and who Heavenly Father wants them to become. How do we help them?

When we have a family home evening, a family council, or a meaningful gospel conversation with our children, we have the opportunity to look into their eyes and tell them that we love them and that Heavenly Father loves them. In these sacred settings, we can also help them understand, deep in their hearts, who they are and how fortunate they are to have come to this earth and to our home and to participate in the covenants we have taken in the temple to be a family forever. In every interaction we share, we demonstrate the principles and blessings of the gospel.…

And I loved this too, from later in his talk:

The greatest rescue, the greatest activation will be in our homes. If someone in your family is wandering in strange paths, you are a rescuer, engaged in the greatest rescue effort the Church has ever known. I testify from personal experience: There is no failure except in giving up. It is never too early or too late to begin. Do not worry about what has happened in the past. Pick up the phone. Write a note. Make a visit. Extend the invitation to come home. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed. Your child is Heavenly Father’s child. You are about His work. He has promised to gather His children, and He is with you.

Elder Bradley D. Foster on the same theme:

With the help of priesthood leaders, parents must continue to go back and find their lost ones, assuring them there will always be a “home” within the family and the Church, waiting for their return. We never know when a heart may be turned. We never know when a soul may be weary and worn out by the world. When that happens, it seems our children almost always turn first toward Mother.

And Elder Neil L. Andersen too:

Although there may be times when a child does not listen with a believing heart, your testimony of Jesus will remain in his or her mind and soul.

He also said my favorite thing of all:

If a child is not listening, don’t despair. Time and truth are on your side. At the right moment, your words will return as if from heaven itself. Your testimony will never leave your children.

As you reverently speak about the Savior—in the car, on the bus, at the dinner table, as you kneel in prayer, during scripture study, or in late-night conversations—the Spirit of the Lord will accompany your words.

As you do your best, the testimony of Jesus will gently distill upon your children’s hearts.

Oh, I hope so. I hope so. I want to memorize every word of that and say it to myself every day! It is very difficult to believe sometimes, with much seeming evidence to the contrary. There’s always more I can do and could have done to teach my kids, and knowing that unfortunately makes me less likely to believe and find hope from words like this. However, I am consciously going to try and cling to them, reassuring myself over and over if I need to. "Doing my best" of course includes an ongoing effort to do better…but it also means God makes up for my shortcomings, and is able to do His work in spite of whatever mistakes I make! That truth is worth clinging to!

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A courageous decision to hope

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the October 2008 Conference.

None of the passages I liked this week seem like they teach anything revolutionary. But as always, my experiences at this season of life make them seem more meaningful to me than they used to. I've had two friends with heart-wrenching circumstances this week, one enduring the sudden loss of her husband and another experiencing a church membership council. My heart has ached for both of them in their particular challenges. At the same time, I have rejoiced in the way "looking unto Christ in every thought" can make every difficulty more bearable. As I've imagined what sorts of fears and doubts might be going through my friends' minds, there is literally not a single one of them that isn't improved and lightened by the reality of Jesus' sacrifice for us. His mercy with our faults, His understanding of our circumstances, His victory over sin and death, His ability to heal us, His power to send angels to our aid. I'm so grateful that, though what I can do for my friends is so small, what Jesus can do is so great!

With those thoughts in my head, Elder Uchtdorf's words about hope become even more beautiful:

Hope is a gift of the Spirit. It is a hope that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the power of His Resurrection, we shall be raised unto life eternal and this because of our faith in the Savior. This kind of hope is both a principle of promise as well as a commandment, and, as with all commandments, we have the responsibility to make it an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope. Hope in our Heavenly Father’s merciful plan of happiness leads to peace, mercy, rejoicing, and gladness.…

There may be times when we must make a courageous decision to hope even when everything around us contradicts this hope.

I love that idea—that when we "against hope believe in hope," we are being not naive, but courageous! It's so easy for me, when I'm facing something hard and discouraging, to feel foolish about my former hopes. I think, "I should have known it wouldn't be so simple. How could I have gotten my hopes up like that? How could I have been so dumb as to think things were getting better/working out/going to be okay?" It's so easy to let go of hope. I don't know why disappointed hopes are always accompanied by that "I'm so dumb for believing" feeling. I'm sure that's Satan trying to take away our hopes.

Anyway, but it's a lie! Elder Uchtdorf says hope is a "courageous decision" and I'm going to try to see it that way from now on. It's not "refusing to face reality"; it's having the vision to see a truer reality! The joyful reality of Jesus Christ overshadows any other despair that seems so real to us in the moment. And I want to share that hope with the people around me if I can. I want to let my mind "catch hold upon this thought of Jesus Christ" (as Elder Andersen talks about) and allow that thought to give me, and those around me, that "infinite power of hope" Elder Uchtdorf promises.

Other posts in this series:

The Sacrament: A Precious Gift—by Jan

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The Church of Joy

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week we skip ahead to the present day and write about the October 2024 Conference that just happened! Back to April 2007 next week.

I took almost no notes during this conference! (We have no printer here, so I was drawing coloring pages for the kids half the time, and coloring ones they drew for me the other half!) But I felt so peaceful and hopeful as I listened. Even though almost everything here in Quebec feels so different, Conference feels the same, like being wrapped in a blanket of goodness. When I walked out to the store between Saturday sessions, I felt so sorry for all the people that didn't know about it; who thought it was just a normal day instead of Conference Saturday!

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He fought his way out

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Young Women's Session of the April 2005 Conference.

I have occasionally heard people criticize the description "fighting a battle with cancer" or similar metaphors, because it implies that the only way to "win" the battle is to overcome the disease, and it implies that a person, no matter how brave, has "lost" if the outcome is bad. Instead, these arguments go, we should celebrate people's strength and value whether they "win" or not. I can see the wisdom of thinking of it that way. Someone who "loses a fight with cancer" has likely won many other things, having gained perspective, patience, experience, and so forth.

However, I still think the "fighting a battle" metaphor is an apt one for lots of experiences—and I have repeatedly been surprised how apt—especially for seeking hope amid discouraging circumstances. So I liked this characterization by Sister Susan W. Tanner, talking about Moroni:

Some of us feel we have not “whither to go” as we face our trials. But you and I can not only survive but prevail, as did Moroni, in our efforts to stand for truth in perilous times. What did he do when facing a lonely and hostile world? He, in faithful obedience to his father’s direction, finished the record on the gold plates. He became familiar with the writings of the prophets. Above all, he fought his way out of his discouragement by clinging to the Lord’s promises for the future. He clung to the covenants that God had made with the house of Israel to bless them forever.

"Fighting" and "clinging"—such intense, active words for something that seems fundamentally like "just a mindset." But it's true! It is hard to cling to God's promises when things aren't going well. It is a battle to maintain hope over discouragement. And it feels like it! And I think it helps to remember that! It takes an active, persistent, effectual struggle—and even then there are times it feels out of reach. But the more we know God's promises, the more we can cling to them. And the clinging, the fighting—it pays off in hard-won trust in God and His plan.

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Not only afar off, but here and now

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Young Women's Session of the April 2004 Conference.

My favorite talk from this session was by Susan W. Tanner, All Things Shall Work Together for Your Good. The title is one of my favorite scripture quotes (which apparently is not from just one scripture but many!) so I knew I was going to like it right away.

She starts out like this:

I love to read. But I can hardly stand it if a novel gets too intense—if the hero’s life is too dangerous or sad or complicated. So I have to read ahead to the end just to make sure that everything will turn out all right for the main character.

In a sense all of us are in the middle of our own novels, our own life stories. Sometimes our stories feel very intense, and we would like to read ahead to know our own end, to make sure that everything is going to turn out all right. While we don’t know the particular details of our life’s experiences, fortunately we do know something about our futures, if we live worthily.

I'm just like Sister Tanner in that I sometimes feel like I can't stand not knowing how things will all turn out! And I wish I could read ahead too! not just myself but for all of those I love. But what if the end was BAD? I sometimes wonder how Nephi endured knowing how things would turn out for his brothers in the end. It seems too sad.

(This is getting off-topic from the talk, but I wonder if Nephi didn't actually see Laman and Lemuel's ends specifically. Maybe he only saw further into the future, down to their great-great-great grandchildren. Maybe it would be too painful, and not helpful, to see anything sooner than that. Because who knows but what Laman and Lemuel, after having taught their children to hate the Nephites, saw and realized the pain and sorrow it caused? Maybe as 80-year-old men, they were sad and sorry, and tried to stop their children from being so angry and resentful, but it was too late. And they went to their graves repentant and sorry, ready to trust God's promises of repentance, and to renew their hope for even their badly-taught children after many generations passed away. I like to think so, anyway.)

Anyway, I guess it's not completely off-topic, because that hope is what Sister Tanner says is the whole reason God tells us "all things shall work together for our good":

This promise comes from a tender, caring Father who desires to bless us and give us reason to hope through our earthly journey. Knowing that eventually all things will work together for our good will help us endure affliction like the faithful people from the scriptures who knew of His promises and trusted in them, “having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them.” We too can embrace this promise.

I like thinking that God specifically intends to "give us a reason to hope." I like imagining Him giving us promises purposefully so we can stop worrying so much, so we can relax and just learn from our experiences instead of being so intensely fearful that we'll mess them up. (Too bad I am so bad at doing this!) And I like the idea that the promise "all things shall work together for our good" can bring us hope even in the interim, while we are waiting for other promises to be fulfilled:

While it may be true in some instances that our promised blessings will be fulfilled only in the eternities, it is also true that as we search, pray, and believe, we will often recognize things working together for our good in this life.

As I read the stories of Jesus’ Apostles after His death, I see that they were frequently and brutally persecuted, stoned, and imprisoned. But they lived with courage and faith. They knew that ultimately all things would work together for their good. They also knew that through interim blessings and miracles, things were working out. They were sustained, tutored, and protected. They embraced the promises not only afar off but here and now as well.

I've written about this idea before, but I've been thinking about it again because of something my friend said about grumpy teenagers—which is that even the worst and hardest parts are not ceaselessly hard. She reminded me, "It won’t actually be consistent YEARS. It will be a few hours here. A weekend there. And then many times of the teen grumps being cast aside because they just can’t help but be their normal and bright selves sometimes! Often!" She is right, and I should know that! I've experienced that principle amid the hardest things in my life—there are still happy moments, tender mercies, hours of peace. And I can choose to believe in those "interim blessings and miracles" just as I believe in the ultimate ones!

Sister Tanner ends by talking about how we ourselves can actually participate in the fulfillment of "all things shall work together for our good" in other people's lives. I love that too. Being able to see "the tenderness with which Heavenly Father reaches out to bless those around me in their individual needs" is one of the gifts mentioned in my patriarchal blessing, and it is truly a magnificent gift. I love to hear about the miracles and mercies and blessings that God provides to make all things work together for the good of those I love most, and it makes me feel nearly as cared for and loved as seeing Him do all those things for ME!

I testify that Heavenly Father is a tender, loving parent who desires to bless us with all that He has. As we search, pray, and believe, we will recognize miracles in our lives and become miracle workers in the lives of others. We will be persuaded of His promise that all things shall work together for our good.

Amen!

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Every day looking forward to new adventures

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Young Women's Session of the April 2003 Conference.

A senior couple in our ward gave their mission farewell talks last Sunday. It was one of several missions for the man (I think he said nine! Including several service missions from home), but the first for the woman (his second wife). They're going to Angola, and she was SO excited. It was so cute and so inspiring to listen to her talk about her nervousness, her excitement, and her faith, and to hear her bear testimony in her new, broken Portuguese. Just like when I heard Elder Rasband speak in the October Conference, I felt drawn toward that time in my life when I'll (God willing) get to serve a mission with Sam! When that time comes, I want to feel the excitement and enthusiasm this sister radiated!

In this Young Women's Session of conference, the Young Women's Presidency spoke on the theme of "Pressing forward with a perfect brightness of hope." I love learning about hope and I liked all three talks, but I especially thought Sister Beck's take on "the three great hopes" was interesting. (She says the three great hopes are the Atonement, the Resurrection, and Eternal Life.) This is what she said about the third one:

With the hope of the Atonement and the Resurrection, you have a third great hope, the hope of eternal life. Because you have a Savior, you can plan for a future that extends beyond this life. If you keep the commandments, you are promised eternal life. You can also prepare yourself by studying and learning and by becoming “acquainted with all good books, and … languages, … and people.”

I never thought about learning and preparing for the future as especially "hopeful" actions, but of course they are. And it seems particularly hopeful to prepare for an old age full of useful, fulfilling service—even knowing that your mind and body will be gradually slowing down. My Mother-in-law's sister was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's and it's been sad and eye-opening to think about what she must be thinking and feeling through that diagnosis. My Dad died before he ever met seven of my children. My Grandma had mini-strokes that changed her personality in the last ten years of her life. There are so many unknowns! But I love the thought that we're preparing for "a future that extends beyond this life" and that the things we work for, desire, and hope for will be part of our futures, in this life or beyond it.

It's a little funny to be thinking about old age while listening to these talks to the young women! But I guess it's because back when I first heard this talk, I was a young mother (baby Abe was 6 months old!) with all my family life still ahead of me. Now I'm looking ahead to the next stage as our children will leave home and start their own families. Admittedly that time is a long way away for Clementine—but now I know how fast it goes. And it makes me feel the same half-fear, half-curiosity to see what that next stage will really be like—and how will I handle it? Well, I want to handle it like so many wonderful women I know—my own mother and mother-in-law among them—who just keep preparing for the future with hope! Sister Beck says:

My mother has stayed in the Savior’s path with unshaken faith in Him (see 2 Ne. 31:19) all the days of her life. She wakes up every day looking forward to new adventures. For her, life is so interesting, and she still has so much to learn.

Because you have a Savior, you also believe in a happy, eternal life of creating, serving, and learning. You are already in the strait and narrow path, and there is hope smiling brightly before you.

I want to keep working toward this happy life of creating, serving, and learning too!

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Happiness is there, in that simple life

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Afternoon Session of the October 2002 Conference.

This was a good session! I remember the "Dad, Are You Awake?" talk so clearly, I can't believe it was so long ago. Elder Scott gave the most Elder Scott-ish talk he may have ever given. And I really liked "Fun and Happiness" by Elder Claudio R. M. Costa. He re-told the story of the Prodigal Son, which I feel like I've been hearing everywhere lately, but he summed it up in a different way than I've heard before:

[The son] returns, repentant from all he has done, and his father, a righteous man, greets him as a special son. He finally understands that true happiness is there, in that simple life with his family.

I love that reading! Then Elder Costa says:

All who seek full happiness can find it in the gospel of Jesus Christ, taught in His Church. Through Christ’s doctrine, we are taught that we can be part of the great plan of happiness that He has prepared for all of us, His sons and daughters. As we keep His commandments, we are blessed and come to know true happiness. We learn that happiness lies in doing small things that build us up, that increase our faith and testimony. Small things we do in our everyday lives, such as:

We are happy as we pray every morning and every night, when we can feel that the Lord hears us and is always willing to bless, forgive, and help us. We are happy as we feel the promptings of the Holy Ghost in our lives—as we feel the Spirit when we have to make important life decisions. We are happy as we go home after a stressful and tiresome day at work to the arms of our families, as they express love and appreciation for us. We are happy to talk to our children, to enjoy the family, to get together on family night. In short, we can feel happiness every day in our lives through little things we do, and we are fully happy as we keep the commandments of a loving God who cares about us.

Sometimes, when I get overwhelmed thinking of the future and wondering how everything will work out (not to mention how many unknown trials are ahead) I have to remind myself of this truth. It is really true that happiness can come in these little moments, even during times of sorrow or fear. I can see it in my life in retrospect, but sometimes I forget to count on it in the future. But I should count on it! No matter what disappointments come, I can at least look forward to the happiness that can come from keeping the commandments and seeking the Holy Ghost. I can look forward to the little things that allow good moments even when days are hard…or good days when weeks are hard. 

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A Voice of Gladness

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Morning Session of the October 2002 Conference.

I love Elder Maxwell's talk from this session, Encircled in the Arms of His Love. There are a few sections of it that are personally meaningful to me and served as important revelation when I was trying to make a decision a few years ago. So I will always have a place in my heart for that talk (and you should read it!). But, today I want to quote from Sister Menlove's talk because it resonated with me and what I need right now.

Her talk is "A Voice of Gladness for our Children." It's funny because I almost never listen to the talks, I just read them. But I listened to this one, and she talks in the very sweetest of the sweet voices! That sweet "Relief Society voice" used to annoy me because I felt like it was "put on" for talks by women. (Sheri Dew's lower-pitched, no-nonsense delivery felt so different!) But now that I'm older and (hopefully!) less judgmental, I don't mind the voice because I can hear the strong, empowering message behind it! And the message here is amazing. It's about making sure our children learn from us about "the joy of the saints." Sister Menlove says:

[In the gospel] we can hear a voice of gladness that brings exclamations of hope and joy into our lives. The joy of our testimonies of the Savior can punctuate every aspect of our lives as we seek to come unto Christ.

What about our children? Do they hear exclamations of joy and hope in the gospel?

A while ago I got a blessing that used the phrase "the joy of the saints" and I've been noticing that idea everywhere since then. I've been thinking about President Nelson's 2016 talk and Eliza R. Snow's quote "none but saints can be happy in every circumstance." In spite of my (many! uncountable! unignorable!) blessings, there are so many things to be worried and sad about these days. I get caught up in them. Of course, I believe, simultaneously, that the glad and hopeful tidings are real—certainly that they will be real. But I'm not sure my countenance and my attitudes and my actions actually make that belief plain. So Sister Menlove's point is well-taken—do my children see my hope and joy in the gospel? Do they FEEL it?

Sister Menlove goes on:

Yes, life can be fast-paced for parents and is becoming so for children. It would be easy to say there is not enough time to fit everything in. Looking back at a time that passed all too quickly, I can now see that each day was filled with precious little moments full of opportunity to help our children hear the “voice of gladness” in the gospel. Children are always learning from us. They are learning what is important by what we choose to do as well as what we choose not to do.

It made me want to recommit to being hopeful and positive in word and tone and focus. To looking always for the good. It echoes what I just read in Sister Cardon's most recent talk: "We live in a fallen world, with distractions coaxing our eyes and hearts downward instead of heavenward.…Look for Christ everywhere―I promise He is there! True joy rests on our willingness to come closer to Christ and witness for ourselves."

So I don't want to sigh so often, or cry so often—not that it's wrong, of course. Not that children can't learn from a mother's sadness as well. But I'd so much rather they see me more often counting my blessings. Noticing the good in others (and even in my own imperfect efforts!). And truly living as if the gospel has lightened my burdens and increased my joy—which it HAS! It really has! I want to show that joy to the world and to my Heavenly Father—for my children's sake as well as for my own!

Other posts in this series:

Is there ever a time of peace and security?—by Rozy

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Every ounce of patience

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 2001 Conference. 

Somehow in three different places this week I've run into the idea that Jesus served others when it was inconvenient. Clearly it's a truth I needed to hear—that true service usually requires interrupting our own plans, our own comfort, in order to minister when ministering is most needed. Coincidentally (ha ha), this is also a week where I've thought over and over again, "Now? I don't want to do this now! It's so late!/I'm so tired!/I'm not feeling patient enough!/I'm in the middle of something! I didn't start out this day wanting it to go like this!" And yet, whether I like it or not, there these trials and opportunities have been…waiting to see what I will do with them.

Sister Sharon G. Larsen tells this story about her dad:

I used to farm with my dad. I didn’t always enjoy it, but when lunchtime came we’d sit in the shade of the tall poplar trees, eat our lunch, and talk. My dad didn’t use this as a golden teaching moment to lay down the law and straighten out his daughter. We just talked—about anything and everything.

This was the time I could ask questions. I felt so safe I could even ask questions that might provoke him. I remember asking him, “Why did you embarrass me in front of my friends last week when I had stayed out too late and you came and got me?”

His answer leads to another aspect of love. He wasn’t being arbitrary. There were certain standards of behavior I was expected to live. He said, “Having you out late worried me. Above all, I want you safe.” I realized his love for me was stronger than his desire for sleep or the inconvenience of getting dressed and driving down the road looking for me.

Whether it is a hayfield or other casual places, those times together can fill the reservoir for other times that may not be as idyllic and serene. Relationships stay intact with this kind of investment—in spite of hard doctrine and correction—or maybe because of it.

I like the idea of filling a reservoir which can then be drawn on during the less "idyllic and serene" times (to put it mildly) (though sometimes I wonder if there could even be a reservoir large enough for some of the times I've encountered lately!). And then here's this idea I keep running into:

Love is listening when they are ready to talk—midnight, 6 a.m. on their way to seminary, or when you’re busy with your urgencies.

This was really good too:

One of the greatest tests for parents and leaders is to love the one who seems to be unlovable. This is tough duty. It stretches the heartstrings and wrenches the soul. When heartbroken parents pray for help, the help often comes in the form of angel aunts or uncles, grandmas or grandpas, good friends, and leaders surrounding our loved one. They can reinforce our very message that may put our child on the track we’ve been praying for.…

I close with my testimony that we are not alone in this sacred trust of parenting, loving, and leading. There is no greater joy. It is worth every sacrifice, every inconvenient minute, every ounce of patience, personal discipline, and endurance. “If God be for us, who can be against us?”

I've felt this so much—my patience measured out ounce by painful ounce (and far too soon depleted). But I have to trust that just piling up these inconvenient minutes, day by day, year after year, in patience and endurance and love, will eventually lead to, as Sister Larsen says, the greatest joy!

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This process of climbing higher takes time

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 2001 Conference. 

I detected a theme in this conference session about moving forward little by little. First in Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin's talk, one I remember well (because of the vivid image he created of the members of the Quorum of the Twelve having a footrace, haha):

Sometimes we make the process more complicated than we need to. We will never make a journey of a thousand miles by fretting about how long it will take or how hard it will be. We make the journey by taking each day step by step and then repeating it again and again until we reach our destination.…

Our Heavenly Father loves each one of us and understands that this process of climbing higher takes preparation, time, and commitment. He understands that we will make mistakes at times, that we will stumble, that we will become discouraged and perhaps even wish to give up and say to ourselves it is not worth the struggle.

We know it is worth the effort, for the prize, which is eternal life, is “the greatest of all the gifts of God.” And to qualify, we must take one step after another and keep going to gain the spiritual heights we aspire to reach.…

All too soon, our time is finished. While we can—while we have the time to complete our work—let us walk in the right direction, taking one step after another.

That is easy enough. We don’t have to be perfect today. We don’t have to be better than someone else. All we have to do is to be the very best we can.

Though you may feel weary, though you sometimes may not be able to see the way, know that your Father in Heaven will never forsake His righteous followers. He will not leave you comfortless. He will be at your side, yes, guiding you every step of the way.

Sometimes I haven't liked this "do the best you can" advice because it's so easy to ask yourself, "What IS the best I can?" and then realize, "hmm…I'm never doing that." But when you put the "one step at a time" advice with it, it makes more sense to me. Doing less than our best kind of IS our best at times…if that makes any sense, ha! I need to remember more often that "Heavenly Father understands this process" and is patient with me as I go through it. 

Then Elder L. Whitney Clayton:

We simply go and do the things the Lord has commanded, even when we are weary, trusting that He will help us to do exactly as He asks. As we do so, the Lord helps our unbelief, and our faith becomes powerful, vibrant, and unshakable.…

No matter who we are or where we live, there is much about our daily lives that is routine and repetitive. As we go about this dailiness, we must be deliberate about doing the things that matter most…

Developing faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is a step-by-step, line-upon-line, and precept-upon-precept process. We promote the process of strengthening our faith when we do what is right—increased faith always follows as a consequence.

And then this echo of the same ideas from Elder Walter F. Gonzalez: 

Our task … everywhere continues to be seeking for the principles found in the scriptures and the teachings of the prophets and writing them “not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart.” Such establishing of gospel principles requires time. Time is required both to be exposed to the truths of the gospel and to apply them in our lives.

I've noticed so many times how true this is for me. There are so many principles that I understand on an intellectual level, and even believe in deeply on a spiritual level…but I just can't DO them yet! I can't make them automatic, make them PART of myself the way I want to. I get discouraged because I don't want to have to work so hard against my "natural man" to be patient, selfless, optimistic, forgiving. I want it to come easier because then I'll know my heart is really changing! But if I could widen my view, I'm sure I would see progress…and I want to remember that "time is required" no matter how willing I'm trying to be!

Other Posts in this Series:

Spiritual Development—by Rozy

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Fully persuaded

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 1999 Conference.

President Faust's talk "Hope, an Anchor to the Soul" is one I've come across a few times when studying hope. I don't remember it from when he gave it, though. Maybe I wasn't as interested in hope back then when I was young and carefree! I'm interested now. I loved how he started the talk right off with this:

There are tremendous sources of hope beyond our own ability, learning, strength, and capacity. Among them is the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Seems kind of obvious, I guess, but it didn't occur to me before that when I'm feeling hopeless, I can pray for the Spirit and he can actually give me hope beyond my own. That seems pretty amazing.

I've mostly stopped trying to distinguish faith from hope. They are so close to each other, and every time I think I've found a definition that tells me the difference, I find another one that mixes them up again. But I think I sort of understand in my head (though I don't know that I can explain). Faith is tied to action, I know that. And faith is properly fixed on Jesus Christ. Hope…I think…is more about ourselves, and those we love. Faith believes that Jesus Christ can save anyone, and hope says he will help ME. Or, maybe I still don't quite understand it! Anyway, I like this tidbit Elder Faust adds:

Hope is trust in God’s promises, faith that if we act now, the desired blessings will be fulfilled in the future. Abraham “against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations.” Contrary to human reason, he trusted God, “fully persuaded” that God would fulfill His promises of giving Abraham and Sarah a child in their old ages.

And then there's this:

Priesthood blessings lift us and sustain us. Hope also comes from direct personal revelation, to which we are entitled if we are worthy.

It sounds so wonderful—to be "fully persuaded" that God will always help me. I think the "fully" in that sentence covers even the cases (all of them?) where we are the ones at fault, we are the ones that lack, we are the ones keeping ourselves from progressing—still; we can "fully" believe because God makes up for all those lacks when we turn to Him!

Really, I think all of these ideas fit with my sense of what hope is pretty well. When Abraham believed God's promises, he was taking an abstract idea that God was trustworthy, and bringing it onto his own level, in his own life, to give him hope. And Abraham's personal revelation about what God would do for him gave him hope as well—again, hope that the God of Universe would actually orchestrate specific blessings in Abraham's own small story. 

It's what I want to hope for too!

Other posts in this series:

The Book of Mormon is True—by Rozy

Peace…and Something for Everyone—by Nathaniel Givens

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Good things to come

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the October 1999 Conference.

This session contains one of my favorite talks—maybe my favorite talk—of all time, Elder Holland's "An High Priest of Good Things to Come." I've read it so many times. Some parts of it are always in my head. I put off reading it when I got to it this time, thinking "I've read it too many times and it's probably lost its power." But when I finally got through it to that last story ("Don't give up, boy. Don't you quit.") I found myself crying again. The power is still there, and I guess it's because those principles of hope and a brighter future are really true! And the spirit testifies of them every time I read them.

I've been thinking about the different reasons this talk has been meaningful to me over the years. My challenges and my fears have changed, certainly since I first heard the talk at age 19, but even in the past few years. I have a 20-year-old of my own now. I thought of him, in fact, as I read this talk. Watching Abe navigate the ups and downs of his mission has been so interesting because he seems to be so positive about everything! When I talk to him on the phone I will say, "…but really. Wasn't it discouraging when this happened?" or "But are you REALLY just happy being out in the rain all day?" I can't tell if he's consciously always trying to look on the bright side or if he's just made that way! If someone is rude, he thinks it makes a funny story; if there's a downpour, he thinks it's cool to get caught in it; if it's cold, he thinks the warm car feels even nicer when he gets back in. Sometimes I worry that someday he will run into something so hard, so devastating that he can't just shake it off. But why do I worry about that? If and when that time comes, he will probably be the more prepared to face it with optimism because of his practice choosing hope now.

I think that's what Elder Holland means by saying

Such counsel [to be of good cheer] is not a jaunty pep talk about the power of positive thinking, though positive thinking is much needed in the world. No, Christ knows better than all others that the trials of life can be very deep and we are not shallow people if we struggle with them. But even as the Lord avoids sugary rhetoric, He rebukes faithlessness and He deplores pessimism. He expects us to believe!

I'm not who I was at age 20, but Elder Holland's advice is as good for me now as it was then. Whether hope comes instinctively (it does sometimes) or whether I have to claw my way toward it against all my instincts (I do sometimes)—I know the Savior would have me keep my eyes fixed on good things to come, which means keeping my eyes fixed on Him. I can't think of a single challenge in my life that is not improved when I do so. As Elder Holland so beautifully puts it,

Cling to your faith. Hold on to your hope. “Pray always, and be believing.”…Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of the light you seek. He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed.

There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—…it will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.

Other posts in this series:

Repentance and Hope—by Rozy

This is the Gospel—by Nathaniel Givens

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The form of a determination

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 1998 Conference.

This talk of Elder Maxwell's is so familiar, I was surprised we hadn't already covered it in this General Conference Odyssey! Maybe I've just read lots of quotes from it. But even though I had heard lots of it before, it was still my favorite talk from this session. I think hope is just a subject that speaks to my soul!

Elder Maxwell always seems so relevant to right now. This could easily have been said in our most recent General Conference:

Because proximate hopes are so vulnerable to irony and the unexpected, there is an increasing and profound sense of existential despair in the world. A grumpy cynicism now pervades politics. Many feel burdened by society’s other accumulating anxieties.

Even those who are spiritually secure themselves can sense the chill in the air. …There is so much unsettlement and divisiveness. No wonder the subsequent loss of hope almost inevitably sends selfishness surging as many, resignedly, turn to pleasing themselves.

I thought it was interesting to connect a loss of hope with selfishness. I wouldn't have made the connection, but it's true that when you lose hope, you lose purpose or a reason to keep working. Conversely, then, it makes sense that having hope can energize us and give us purpose. That seems like a good reason to keep fighting for hope even when circumstances lean us toward discouragement. And that's just what Elder Maxwell says too, one of my favorite of his sayings:

Real hope keeps us “anxiously engaged” in good causes even when these appear to be losing causes on the mortal scoreboard. Likewise, real hope is much more than wishful musing.…Hope is realistic anticipation which takes the form of a determination—not only to survive adversity but, moreover, to “endure … well” to the end.

I love the picture at the top of this post because of the expressions on those boys' faces as they run uphill. My cross-country coach used to say "Attack the hills!" And you really have to. They're so hard. But you can't cower away; you can't lose heart. The hills are where you have to show what you're made of. I knew that instinctively, even as a young runner. And maybe that's why I so much like this idea of being hopefully determined: determined to trust God, determined to see His hand, determined to keep reaching out to others, determined not to ever give up on my family. Even when the whole world is in chaos, I can keep doing those things! Especially in my own little sphere!

 In the same vein, Elder Maxwell uses the "make our own gardens grow" metaphor I like so much:

We may not be able to fix the whole world, but we can strive to fix what may be amiss in our own families. Tolkien reminds us: “It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.”

Therefore, brothers and sisters, in our own little family plots, we can bequeath to the succeeding generations “clean earth to till”! Thus not only does charity begin at home, but so does hope!

If we look for specific things we can do, the Holy Ghost will direct us, showing unto us “all things” which we should do, for this is one of His inspiring roles. Our opportunities for helping others who have lost hope may be no further away than in our own extended families, a discouraged neighbor next door, or someone just around the corner. …

Therefore, being blessed with hope ourselves, let us, as disciples, rather than being contracted, reach out, including to those who, for whatever reason, have “moved away from the hope of the gospel” (Col. 1:23).

Hope doesn't always come easily to me—my mind is really good at spinning into fears and worst-case scenarios, especially for those I love. It takes a conscious effort to cultivate it. But Elder Maxwell makes a convincing case that the effort is worthwhile. Nurturing hope in ourselves and others can lead to a host of other blessings along the way!

Other posts in this series:

Like a dry sponge— by Rozy

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Repentance is the basis for our hope

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the October 1996 Conference.

I can pretty much count on always liking President Faust's talks, and this one shows his characteristic compassion and gentleness. My favorite part was actually a quote from President Kimball that I'd never heard before:

Of vital importance is resolving transgression, experiencing the healing process which comes of repentance. As President Kimball reminds us: “The principle of repentance—of rising again whenever we fall, brushing ourselves off, and setting off again on that upward trail—is the basis for our hope. It is through repentance that the Lord Jesus Christ can work his healing miracle, infusing us with strength when we are weak, health when we are sick, hope when we are downhearted, love when we feel empty, and understanding when we search for truth.”

I've been interested in the principle of hope for a long time, but when people are trying to explain what it is, I've usually seen it connected to faith. So this connection to repentance is so interesting. Our hope comes from repentance! From "rising again," as he says. I love that! It makes sense. What could give us more hope in our ability to try again than…trying again? I also like the reminder that even though Jesus Christ works every "healing miracle"—even though all strength and power comes through Him—it is our own deliberate, conscious, specific choice to turn to Him and try again that allows His power into our lives.

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Compensatory blessings

This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Saturday Afternoon Session of the April 1996 Conference.

Richard G. Scott's talk reminded me of a beautiful idea the gospel has brought to light for me. I've believed in this concept for a while, but I haven't thought about it lately, so this talk was a timely reminder. The concept is this: even when things in life are very, very bad, there will be moments of joy and light. I admit I haven't yet had the chance to test this in the hardest of circumstances like some people face. But I've seen it come true amidst my own small trials and worries. Hard experiences WANT to dominate your life and thoughts. It's all too easy to sink into them and never come up for air. The joyful news is that we don't have to—that through the peace of Jesus Christ, we can experience moments of relief amid the trials.

In another post I described these moments as being like stepping stones we can pause on across the deep waters of our suffering. I think about that image a lot. Sometimes I think the worst part of feeling terrible is that you tend to project it into the future—to believe you'll always feel this way; it will never end. So when I'm in my worst moments, I try to consciously fight that feeling and say to myself, "I won't always feel this way. It will get better." And I visualize those stepping stones. There will be a moment when I laugh in spite of myself, and the tension in my heart will ease. There will be a moment when I feel God's love strong and sure. There will be a moment of being absorbed in another task and forgetting, just for an instant, the worries that surround me. There will be a moment of hope when the future lightens just a little. And I need to remember, when each of those moments ends, that there will be another one coming soon! It makes the hard moments so much easier to bear when you know they're not permanent. Likewise, it makes the good moments so much more meaningful when you see them as steps on a path of goodness stretching toward a final deliverance, rather than isolated incidents never to be repeated.

Elder Scott elaborates on this theme. He describes the moments of relief, which I have called "stepping stones," as "compensatory blessings." (Elder Andersen has used this phrase more recently as well.) Elder Scott says:

Sadness, disappointment, and severe challenge are events in life, not life itself. I do not minimize how hard some of these events are. They can extend over a long period of time, but they should not be allowed to become the confining center of everything you do… 

Simple, rejuvenating experiences surround us. They can be safety valves to keep the tension down and the spirit up. Don’t concentrate on what you don’t have or have lost. The Lord promised the obedient to share all that He possesses with them. You may temporarily lack here, but in the next life, if you prove yourself worthy by living valiantly, a fulness will be your blessing.

Find the compensatory blessings in your life when, in the wisdom of the Lord, He deprives you of something you very much want. To the sightless or hearing impaired, He sharpens the other senses. To the ill, He gives patience, understanding, and increased appreciation for others’ kindness. With the loss of a dear one, He deepens the bonds of love, enriches memories, and kindles hope in a future reunion. You will discover compensatory blessings when you willingly accept the will of the Lord and exercise faith in Him.…

I know that every difficulty we face in life, even those that come from our own negligence or even transgression, can be turned by the Lord into growth experiences, a virtual ladder upward…

No matter how difficult something you or a loved one faces, it should not take over your life and be the center of all your interest. Challenges are growth experiences, temporary scenes to be played out on the background of a pleasant life. Don’t become so absorbed in a single event that you can’t think of anything else or care for yourself or for those who depend upon you. Remember, much like the mending of the body, the healing of some spiritual and emotional challenges takes time.

Your faith in Jesus Christ gives life enduring meaning. Remember you are on a journey to exaltation. Sometimes you have experiences that yield more happiness than others, but it all has purpose with the Lord.

 Elder Scott also discusses the role that creativity (of any kind) can play in helping us find those stepping-stones or compensatory blessings. That's advice that's dear to my heart and could be a whole other post (or talk—Elder Uchdorf gave a talk on the same subject that has been a big influence on my thinking), but for now I'll just say that it's been really good for me to seek out light and goodness and beauty, especially when I'm feeling like there isn't much of it to be found. I like Elder Scott telling us to find and discover the compensatory blessings, because I love the idea that Heavenly Father is actually placing those things for us to find, putting them in our path for us to stumble upon when we need them most.

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