This post is part of the General Conference Odyssey. This week covers the Sunday Morning Session of the April 2015 Conference.
The talks this session were all SO good. Elder Holland and Elder Uchtdorf both taught profound truths about Jesus's atonement and mercy and grace. Elder Caussé talked about continuing to find joy in and appreciate the wonders of God's plan. And Sister Rosemary M. Wixom and Elder Brent H. Nielson both shared detailed personal stories about friends who had left, and then come back to, faith. I think this was a time when a lot of people were starting to worry about their family members friends leaving the faith. Not that that is a new problem. But it just suddenly seemed to be on everyone's mind (or at least I suddenly became more aware of it).
I don't remember these specific talks, but honestly back at this time, I didn't always like hearing them. I remember thinking, "Why is it always us who have stayed who have to make the accommodations, forgive, be understanding, be patient, give the benefit of the doubt? Why don't those who have left ever try to do that for us?" Even though I knew (and still know) that disciples of Christ need to live a higher standard, it bothered me a little. I guess I needed, yet again, the lesson of "compared to [Jesus], the two of you aren't that different." Elder Nielson essentially says this too:
As [my son] read the parable of the prodigal son, I heard it differently that day than I had ever heard it before. For some reason, I had always related to the son who stayed home. As David read that morning, I realized that in some ways I was the prodigal son. All of us fall short of the glory of the Father. All of us need the Savior’s Atonement to heal us. All of us are lost and need to be found. This revelation that day helped me know that my sister and I both needed the Savior’s love and His Atonement. Susan and I were actually on the same path back home.
I've always known this intellectually, of course, but with a few more years of life under my belt, and a few more personal connections to faith questions and faith struggles, my understanding of it has deepened at least a little. And I have more of a desire to be Christlike even if it does mean an "unfair" exchange where I'm making more of an effort than the person I'm trying to help. Doesn't all "my" ability and understanding come from God anyway? I love Him because He first loved me. There was nothing "fair" about that exchange, but the benefits (to me) are infinite. I think I am gradually internalizing this.
My favorite part of Sister Wixom's talk was a quote from a Catholic archbishop, something he wrote to Mother Theresa when she was struggling with her own faith. He said,
God guides you, dear Mother; you are not so much in the dark as you think. The path to be followed may not always be clear at once. Pray for light; do not decide too quickly, listen to what others have to say, consider their reasons. You will always find something to help you. … Guided by faith, by prayer, and by reason with a right intention, you have enough.
I like it because it's such good advice, first of all, and resonates with me in the many, many places I am still in the dark about the gospel and how to live it. In all the ways I am the prodigal seeking more light and stumbling in my journey home, it reassures me that small efforts and faint hopes can be good enough for now. But I also love the generosity of spirit it shows from the speaker's side! His belief in his friend, his calm confidence in her ability to figure things out, his faith in God's love for her, is really beautiful. It's the feeling I want to radiate to those around me who are struggling. Love. Patience. Confidence. For others' sakes and my own, I want to live the gospel with this kind of peace.
Sister Wixom's friend who returned to faith had such a good perspective that applies to any of us:
I can still bear testimony. I will just say those things that I know and trust. It may not be a perfect offering of knowledge, but it will be my offering. What I focus on expands inside of me. It is beautiful to get back to the essence of the gospel and feel clarity.
It's true about my faith. And it's also true about sharing my faith. When I focus on what I love, who I love, and what I'm grateful for, I think I will be such a better and happier disciple of Christ. And I will be able to help Him in His work (on me and on those around me!) so much more effectively!
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