Song of Jello

And now, by popular demand, I present the words to my jello song. For the full effect, imagine me singing this about a half-octave too low for my voice, so I have that little tremble in it when I try to be loud enough. And also imagine me hitting the wrong chord occasionally on my guitar.

Hello Jello my old friend
I seek your jiggling arms again
Because the world is sharp and hard and rough
And frankly I have nearly had enough
And I’m ready for something that will yield to a simple squeeze
So won’t you please
Give me a taste of jello.

For in this world of spite and fear
I hear your wobble in my ear
Your wordless strength inspires me to fight
Your glossy radiance makes me more bright
And the rhythm of your vibration sweeps me along,
Mysterious song,
A song of rage and jello.

And when the lonely nights are long,
I murmur "jello" like a song
Your name is balm to all my darkest fears,
Enchanting music to my willing ears
Though I know that some here would correct me if they could,
For the public good:
They’d say it’s gelatin, not jello.

But jello by another name
Would surge and wobble just the same,
Mere words cannot describe your throbbing heaves
Your ripples spreading out like falling leaves
Like a walrus emerging in triumph from the stormy deep
It makes me weep
To watch you move, oh jello.

And though you tremble as you move
Your surface still remains so smooth
Half-Liquid/Solid—you break all the rules
I love the lattice of your molecules
No colloidal suspension so excited me before,
Made me ache for more,
Long to be filled with jello.

Jello, when all the lights are out
Do you know what I dream about?
The slippery meal that I could make of you
I would not even really have to chew
You’d just slip down the throat like a whisper in the night,
A flash of light,
A shining star, called jello.